


Shadow in the Rose Garden

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Dark City (1998)
Genre: AU - Tattoo shop, Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Tattoos, Anal Sex, Angst, Casual Sex, DJs, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, NaNoWriMo, Oral Sex, Tattoos, music festivals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 06:09:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 113,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tattoo Artist Ben Carson thinks he has his life all planned out. A career as the most respected artist of Vegas's premeir shop, 'The Desert Rose', a great crew, and a hot gymnast girlfriend away on tour. Then he agrees to put up the hot new Irish guy at work, Larry, who sends his world in an unexpected tailspin.</p><p>Ben's twin Daniel, aspiring visualization artist, takes a part time desk job at the Rose for some extra cash and ends up with his hands full when one of Larry's clients, world famous DJ John Murdoch, takes an interest in him that's more than just professional.</p><p>When the news breaks that the Desert Rose is about to be sold and turned into a horrible reality TV show, both brothers must learn to set aside fear and open their hearts if they want to save the Rose... and their relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Larry Byrne**

I'd never thought my life would lead me to Las Vegas. I’d done a bit of traveling in my early twenties, mostly in the UK and Europe, but I’d always expected I’d live out my life in Dublin, where I’d been born and raised. But after passing my twenty-fifth birthday, I came to two realizations which led me to leave home.

First, there wasn’t much of a career path in Dublin. I was already considered one of the best tattoo artists in the city, but no one was willing to pay much more than a hundred dollars an hour to get inked. Short of opening my shop – and I’d rather shoot myself in the foot than put myself through that kind of stress - there wasn’t much more money to be had.

Second… I was a slut, and basically everyone in the scene knew it. I hadn’t cared about my reputation when I was twenty, as long as it included “good in bed”. After all, most gay men in their twenties were promiscuous. Unfortunately the reputation had stuck, and now my chances of finding a more stable relationship were pretty much shit.

It was a good enough reason to start over.

My mother looked more nervous than I felt as she dropped me off at the airport. “Are you sure about this, Larry? We can always cancel the ticket, you know.”

I gave her a grin and hoped I looked confident as I hauled my suitcase out of the back of her car. “Of course I’m sure. It’s going to be swell. Besides, you always told me to grab opportunity by the balls. This will be great.”

“I didn’t say balls,” she corrected, frowning, grabbing my duffel bag out of the trunk and setting it on the sidewalk beside my suitcase. Then she pulled me into a hug, pressing a kiss to my red hair. “You be safe, you hear? No shacking up with bad boys. And call me when you land in America. Call collect. I’ll have the phone beside my pillow.”

“I will, Mum.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“All right.” She pulled away, reaching out to cup my cheek and giving me a trembling smile. “No matter what happens, you can always come home, understand? Even if you’re dead broke. You can always call me.”

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “Thanks, Mum. Take care of Boots for me. And Aunt Sophia.”

“Of course,” she replied, leaning in to kiss me, and then slipped back into the car.

I watched until I couldn’t see the car anymore, then slung my duffel bag over my shoulder with my carry-on bag, pulling my suitcase over to the bag check line. Now that my mother was gone, my bravado had left too, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous. What if things didn’t work out after all? What if I couldn’t build a client list, what if they didn’t like my style in America? I’d be starting from scratch in a completely foreign country without any safety net.

Letting out a long exhale of breath I pulled my phone out of my pocket, flipping through my emails until I reached the last one I’d received from the manager of my new shop, The Desert Rose. The shop sounded amazing, and had a hell of a reputation if what I’d read online was any indication.

 _’Looking forward to meeting you,’_ the email read. _’I’ll be at the airport to meet you when you land. Look for a fedora and a sign with your name on it. One of our artists has a spare room you can stay in while you look for accommodations, so don’t worry about anything. Your style is gorgeous. Vegas will love you.  
See you soon,  
Frank Bumstead'_

It calmed my nerves a little, and I told myself again this was the right decision. Everything was going to work out fine.

I boarded the plane with those thoughts still in mind, finding my seat in the exit row and thanking the god of comfortable airplane rides for the extra leg room. I’d been up all night packing, so I bunched up my coat as a pillow between my head and the wall of the plane, falling asleep soon after takeoff.

~~~

I only had one stop over, thankfully, in New York, and from there it was only a few more hours to Las Vegas. When I stepped into the airport I was immediately inundated by... Vegas. Brightly lit advertisements were everywhere, advertising this show or that hotel. There were even slot machines in the airport. My steps slowed and I tightened my hand on my duffel, looking around in amazement. Everything was so bright and loud and modern, so different from Dublin.

Forcing myself to move, I followed the crowd towards the baggage claim, through the airport and down the escalators, yet more ads surrounding me. Was there really a musical about _Menopause_ , of all things?

"Larry Byrne?"

A voice behind me made me whirl, coming face to face with an middle-aged gentleman in a gray fedora holding a small sign bearing my name. He had a very classic look to him, and it made me relax immediately. "Mr. Bumstead."

"Call me Frank," the man replied, smiling. "Can I take your bag?"

"I'm all right, thank you," I said, returning his smile. "Just have to find my luggage. Thank you for meeting me."

"My pleasure. Your flight's carousel is this way," Frank told me, starting away from the crowd and down an aisle through the luggage carousels.

I glanced over at him and gave him a smile. "How did you know it was me?"

Frank chuckled softly. "The bio picture you sent for our website. And the fact you looked like you expected the airport to eat you at any moment. Have you ever been to Las Vegas before?"

"Never," I admitted. "I haven't even crossed an ocean before. I hadn't expected it to be this, this...."

"Garish?" Frank supplied, smirking.

"Something like that."

"You'll get used to it," Frank assured me. "And the city isn't all like this, don't worry. Off the strip she can even be pretty charming."

"Well, I'm looking forward to getting to know her."

My suitcases didn't take long, and we loaded them up into the back of Frank's SUV. He started the engine, then glanced over at me. "Would you like to get something to eat?"

I leaned back in my seat, looking out the window at the approaching city. "Oh - I'm fine, thanks. They fed me well on the airplane. I expected sawdust, but it was actually good."

"Amazing," Frank noted, chuckling. "I'll show you the shop, then, and get the extra keys from Ben so you can get settled in and sleep off your jet lag."

"That would be great," I replied a bit distractedly, looking out at the incredible buildings I could see from the freeway. The Las Vegas hotels were huge, and each one seemed to have a different personality - a tall, black pyramid, a brightly coloured castle, even one that looked like it was made up of skyscrapers. "This is insane."

"It's the world's largest adult playground," Frank told me, as we passed yet more hotels. "You should see it at night. It's a blessing for us, believe it or not. We don't build our business on last minute appointments and flash art, of course, though there's no shortage of walk-in requests. Our customers aren't the spontaneous vacationer type. But being in Vegas means cheap flights for tattoo aficionados. The owner's built a hell of a reputation. It won't take long to build your clientele here, don't worry."

"I'm excited to start.". 

Frank took one of the highway exits, finally pulling into a parking lot for a group of commercial buildings and parking the car. "Leave your things in the car, we won't be long. I'll introduce you to everyone who's working."

The sign for the shop was brightly lit, but somehow managed to escape the garish neon look of many of the other business signs I'd seen on our drive. "Desert Rose Tattoo" on a wine coloured background, the lettering a white script which spoke to me of elegance and put me at ease. The shop appeared to be above a dentist office, and Frank held the door open for me behind him, taking me up a flight of stairs and into the shop.

 _'Please remove your shoes'_ read a sign at the top of the stairs; the first thing in the reception area was a shoe rack, half full of sneakers and dress shoes and the kind of towering stilettos I'd only seen on strippers or TV. The decor itself was an interesting mix of Asian and Indian influences; a large fish tank was built into one wall, a few oversized goldfish swimming around inside. The waiting area was a comfortable looking nook ringed by low, plush couches and a coffee table covered by tattoo books and magazines. The walls of the nook were draped with half-sheer fabric, making the whole area look like a tent, or some kind of opulent opium den. The walls themselves were painted a muted red-brown, and though the place definitely looked squeaky clean it also felt homey and welcoming.

Two men had just entered the reception area - one taking off a pair of latex gloves who I assumed was one of the tattoo artists, the other carrying a take-out bag. They were both blond, their features so similar that they had to be very closely related, though the blond holding the takeout bag seemed a little smaller somehow, slighter than the artist. He was fashionably dressed in dark slacks with a dress shirt a waistcoat over top, wire-rimmed glasses giving him a somewhat vintage look. The one who really caught my attention, though, was the artist - blonde hair spiked messily, well shaped mouth in an easy going smile. He was much more built than his brother, well muscled arms mostly bare under his tight fitting black t-shirt, skin covered by colourful designs. It was hard to keep my mind from automatically going to what he'd look like under those clothes.

"You need to eat, dear heart," the smaller one was saying, shaking his head, his smile fond, if pleading. "You'll waste away to nothing. Take fifteen minutes and come have lunch with me before your steak sandwich goes cold."

The second man sighed, but I could see him cave. "All right, all right. You're such a pain in my ass." He glanced over to see us, and straightened immediately, smiling. "Hey, Frank. This our new artist?"

Frank nodded. "This is Larry Byrne. Fresh off the plane from the UK. Larry, this is Ben and Daniel Carson - Ben's got the tattoos, you probably saw his work on the website. Daniel's a visual effects artist for one of the shows here in Vegas."

"Pleased to meet you." I shook both their hands, offering them both a wide smile. Up close they were both even more gorgeous, but Ben was the one I couldn't keep my eyes off of, admiring again the lines of his well muscled, beautifully inked arms. I glanced to Daniel, then back to Ben again. "Twins?"

"Ben's older by twenty minutes." Daniel affirmed, though his attention was focused more on Frank than it was me. He definitely set off my gaydar, and I couldn't help but wonder if his incredibly delicious brother was that way bent as well.

"You do that gorgeous Asian styled work, don't you?" I asked Ben, remembering back to when I'd looked through the different artists portfolios online.

"Mostly," Ben said, smiling. "I like the style and I like that it lets me use a lot of vivid colour. We can trade ink sometime if you like. I really liked what I saw of your work."

The offer was unexpected, and made me immediately feel more welcome and at ease than I'd expected. It was good to know things still worked rather the same on the other side of the world. It was better to receive the praise from him of wanting my art permanently set into his skin. "I'd like that a lot," I replied, and smiled, feeling a warmth in the pit of my stomach. "Thank you."

"Ben was the one who offered to put you up," Frank told me, and Ben grinned.

"Spare room's not big, but it's walking distance from the shop," he told me. "Figured it would make it easier to settle in. Come with me, I'll grab the keys."

A new start and an incredibly good looking roommate. I could handle that. I followed him back into the shop, trying not to admire his ass. The room was long and rather narrow, ringed by tattoo stations and nice, new-looking beds. The walls were covered by bulletin boards covered by artist sketches and tattoo designs, with strange framed artwork in between the boards, and shelves and cabinets of tattooing supplies and strange curiosities like a preserved shark in a jar.

"This will be your bed," Ben told me, indicating a station tucked into a corner formed by the wall to the reception area. There were a few knick-knacks, but the bulletin board was clean. "There might be some junk in the drawers, it's kind of been our guest spot while it's been empty so a couple different artists have come and gone. Frank put in an order for supplies and the standard array of needles and colours so you're well stocked, you'll just need to order anything extra that you want to use."

"You guys are so well organized." The more I saw of the Rose, the better I felt about it.

"Frank keeps things running like clockwork. He keeps us in line, too," Ben replied, giving a shrug, though his smile was fond. He nodded to the blond girl working in the other corner across from mine, whose short blonde hair fell in fat ringlets around her face. She was wearing a rather vintage styled red polka-dot dress under her apron and had full, pouty rosebud lips that made me think of an old fashioned pin-up model. She was working on a back piece very reminiscent of Edgar Allen Poe to me - all occult and dribbly candles and a raven standing on a skull with an eyeball in its mouth. "This is May Jensen. She's been here almost as long as I have. She's good stuff. May, this is our new Irish guy, Larry."

May paused tattooing long enough to look up and give me a wide smile. "Hey sugar, nice to meet you. Welcome to the Rose." Something about her made me like her immediately, whether it was her style or the soft, pretty features that looked like they were made for impish smiles. She glanced to Ben. "We taking him out on the strip tonight?"

"Tonight?" I repeated, rather alarmed.

"Next Saturday," Ben told her. "Give the guy a week to get over his jet lag before we get him smashed."

"Well... I guess that's alright. One week." May gave me a wink. "Then we're popping your Vegas cherry, Red."

I must have looked terrified, because Ben patted my arm. "Don't worry, we'll make sure you get home safe and unmolested. The only thing better than a night in Vegas is a night in Vegas with a native. May and I know all the best spots."

"It's true," May replied, having gone back to work.

"We usually go out on Saturdays after work," Ben explained to me. "The only day the shop's completely closed is Sunday, so Saturday's the only night where no-one has work the next morning."

I nodded, finding I rather liked the idea. "All of you?"

"Most of us. The Chairman doesn't normally come out, he says he's too old to be getting shitfaced."

"The Chair... oh, Mr. Saito." Larry hadn't been able to find the shop owner's real name, though he'd looked. He had seen the extensive portfolio of the man's work. "Does he really do traditional tebori tattooing? Bamboo needles and everything?"

"Sometimes," Ben told him. "He's taught me a little, but it's tough as hell. There's not a lot of call for it because it takes so long that it ends up being incredibly expensive, but we get some hardcore customers asking for it every once and awhile." He motioned towards the glass-enclosed office at the end of the room. "The Chairman works there, but he never works weekends. Morgan the one working at the bed next to his office. The last bed belongs to Cherry, she's off today. I have an appointment Monday afternoon, you can come in with me if you like and set up, take some walk-ins. Cherry will be around."

"I'd like that," I replied, briefly admiring Morgan - a very nicely built and featured, chocolate skinned man who gave me a smile and a nod as Ben introduced him. God, this place was full of eye candy.

"Awesome." Ben opened a drawer at the station next to mine, which I assumed was his. He took out a pair of keys on a keyring and handed it to me. "Here - the square one is the door, the other one the deadbolt. Frank knows the layout, he'll show you your room. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge if you're hungry."

"Thanks," I told him, taking the keys. "I really appreciate you putting me up. It means a lot."

"We look after each other here," Ben told me, smiling, resting a hand on my shoulder as we turned back towards the reception area. He pulled away long enough to lean back and grab a business card out of a holder on top of his file cabinet. "That's the front desk phone, call if you need anything. I'll put my cell on the back, but you'll get my voicemail if I'm working on a client."

"Thanks," I said again, reassured by his friendliness, and followed him back into the reception area, where -Frank and Daniel were still waiting. "I should let you get to your lunch."

"Finally an artist with some sense," Daniel remarked with a wry smile.

I grinned at him in acknowledgement, then took the card from Ben and tucked it in my pocket. "Thanks again."

"No problem," he replied. "I'll see you later."

It didn't take long to get home; Ben, as he'd claimed, lived close. The house was tidy, masculine and comfortable, much like my impression of Ben himself. The spare room had a very inviting looking fold out futon and a decent sized closet, thank Christ.

"Thanks for all this," I told Frank as I walked him to the door. "I'm feeling pretty good about everything."

"Good," Frank said, smiling back at me. "Call me if you need anything. Otherwise I'll see you Monday."

I took the time to call my mother, assuring her of my safe arrival, then pulled the curtains and crawled into the futon. It was just as comfortable as it looked, and as I drifted off to sleep I had a much lighter heart than I'd had when I left home.

Somehow, I had a feeling everything was going to work out ok.

~~~~

 

 

**Ben Carson**

 

I'm not sure what it was about the new guy which immediately endeared me to him. Larry Byrne. Maybe it was the shock of thick red hair or the adorable accent. Or maybe it was his strangely appealing, generous mouth which always seemed so quick to grin.

And perhaps there was a bit of attraction there, too. Just a little. Not anything I'd act on, of course... unlike my brother, I generally dated women; I could count the men I'd slept with on both hands, and most of those experiences had been experimental and fairly drunken. On top of that, I'd promised my girlfriend Amy my exclusivity, even while she was away on tour, so I knew it wasn't even worth trying to figure out whether or not he was into guys. Hooking up with Larry wasn't a possibility at all. It made it easier, I thought, to be able to set aside my attraction as an impossibility and just get to know the guy.

I got home late on the first night he was in town, working a bit of overtime to complete more ink on a half sleeve I was working on for a chatty nightclub owner. The extra cash was never a bad thing, and our desk girl, Julie, was usually in the shop for at least an hour after closing anyway, making sure everything was closed up. I saw her to her car and gave her a little wave, then started the walk towards home. When I'd decided to settle down and buy a place a year and a half ago I hadn't set out with the specific goal of finding a house close to work. But this place had been a great price and had everything I'd wanted - two bedrooms and a small office, developed basement, attached garage and a great backyard and a deck for barbecuing. No pool, but I could always put in an above ground if I ever started entertaining on a regular basis. The soaker tub in the master bedroom ensuite more than made up for the lack of swimming pool, in my opinion. And being close enough to work that I barely had to take my car out of the garage was a wonderful bonus.

The door to my guest room was closed when I got home, and I decided not to wake Larry. Instead I set about cooking - I'd put a huge package of lean ground beef in the fridge to defrost before I'd left for work with the intention of making a huge batch of chili meat, perfect for re-heating throughout the week for various Tex-Mex dishes.

The ground beef was almost done when I heard the bedroom door open behind me. I turned to see Larry step out, blinking sleepily, red hair bed tousled. I gave him a smile. "Hey, sorry if I woke you."

"No, it's fine." He rubbed one eye with his palm, moving to stand against the counter, watching me. "How was work?"

"A normal Saturday. Nothing too exciting. Put in a bit of extra time. You can work pretty much whenever you want, by the way. Other than Sunday, I mean. Since we're technically considered contractors there's no restrictions on how many hours we clock. The shop officially opens at ten in the morning, but Frank's always there at nine if you end up booking any early risers, and Julie - she's our desk girl, she'll be in Monday evening - she's a student, so we pay her 'till ten to clean up and stuff."

Larry closed his mouth on a yawn. "You think I'll get enough clients to work overtime?"

I chuckled as I stirred the meat. "You underestimate the reputation of the Rose. You realize we've been named the best shop in Vegas for three years running, don't you? People come just to say they've been tattooed at Desert Rose. It'll be good to have an artist who's not quite so heavily booked for a while so we don't have to turn so many people away."

He made a little impressed hum, nodding slowly. "It just seems a little strange to me that my station has been vacant for so long if your shop is so famous. Surprised you didn't have artists queueing up around the block to join you."

I shrugged. "We had some, yeah, but no one we really thought would add something new to the shop. Saito likes to keep a good variety to the team. Only May and I are actually Vegas natives - Morgan's from Virginia, and the Chairman recruited Cherry from Canada. And it's our styles too, of course. The Chairman is good at pretty much anything, but most of what he does are the traditional irezumi style full body tattoos. Morgan's amazing with photo-realism and portraits. Cherry's favorite subjects are all cyber and tribal and inorganic. May handles the goths. So obviously the Chairman didn't think there was anyone in Vegas who could do what you do as well as you do it."

Larry chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, I hope I can live up to his expectations."

"You'll be fine," I assured him, turning the stove down to low to keep the meat warm. "You hungry? I was thinking of throwing together some wraps."

"Starving," he admitted. "You don't need to cook for me, though."

"I enjoy cooking," I told him, starting to go through my fridge for ingredients. "Unless you'd rather cook something else? I don't mind."

Larry snorted. "Ah, probably not a good idea. I'm usually pretty lucky when it comes to Hope Stew, but other than that my cooking's... not super great."

"Hope Stew?" I grabbed a block of cheese, and a tomato out of the vegetable bin, handing them to him. "Here, put these on the counter for me."

"Sure. You guys don't have Hope Stew? You know, throw everything in a pot on the cooker in some water and hope for the best?"

I laughed, grabbing a cucumber and a head of lettuce, passing them over to him, followed by salsa and sour cream. "I think that's good. Unless you want some refried beans? I might have a can somewhere."

"We need more than this?" he asked, a little incredulous.

"We don't need to eat everything," I replied, taking down a cutting board and pulling my chef's knife from the block on the counter. "It's just fun to be able to put whatever you want in a tortilla, don't you think? Was that a no to the beans?"

"Jesus no," he affirmed. "You'd kick me out of your flat."

"Good point." I frowned, looking around my kitchen. "How about avocado?"

"Avocado? You are my new best mate," Larry replied, and I chuckled, grabbing one out of the bowl on top of my fridge and finding it perfectly soft, handing it to him. Larry took the fruit like I'd given him ambrosia. "You sure? Avocado is like... sacred."

I chuckled. "We put that shit on everything here. California's a stones throw away, we have tons all year 'round."

"That's the most amazing thing I heard all day. I knew there was a reason I decided to move here."

Larry and I chatted as he grated the cheese and I chopped up the rest of the ingredients, continuing the easy conversation as we settled at the breakfast bar with the food and a bottle of Pinot Noir I'd had kicking around. It was strangely comfortable to hang out with him, I came to realize over the next couple of days, which was weird for me as I'd never really had a good roommate experience before.

It was strange... but nice.

I'd spoken to Daniel about it at length over a late dinner and a bottle of wine, shortly after I'd offered to take Larry in. I'd been adamant this was only a temporary thing. "I'm not a roommate kind of guy," I'd told him. "I hate having someone else in my space. That's why May moved in with you and not me. Until Amy and I move together I can manage my mortgage on my own."

"You just haven't had the right kind of roommate," Daniel had replied, shaking his head. He'd been in a long term relationship until about six months ago, when his long-term boyfriend had left him for some little twink and moved to California to pursue some dream of being a winemaker. May had been really unhappy with the roommates she'd been living with and Daniel didn't make enough to afford rent on his own, so I'd hooked them up. "It's not all fights and invasion of personal space. May and I get on fine, I love sharing the condo with her. I love the feeling that even if we don't see each other often, we still care about each other."

"But she's not a neat freak. Or a slob. Or a crazy bitch."

"And you think May's the only decent person in the world?" Daniel had finished the remains of the wine in his glass. "Don't assume that just because someone moves in with you it's going to make them automatically become the housemate from hell. If you get along with someone and you've known them for a while and you feel like they're someone who thinks on the same level as you do, chances are they'll make a good roommate. It's simply a matter of finding someone who matches your living style."

I'd quirked an eyebrow at him. "Living style? What, being a workaholic tattoo artist?"

He'd chuckled. "No, no. How you live in a house, how you approach things, what's important to you. For example... people have different cleanliness values. You can have to clean freaks living together, or two slobs, or two people who realize that if you don't have time to load the dishwasher for a day or two it's not the end of the world, and everything will be fine. You'll live peaceably together. It's when you have two people living together who don't match up that things don't go well. For instance, you and May probably wouldn't work out very well. You don't do dishes fast enough."

"There's nothing wrong with relaxing for a couple hours after eating." It had made me feel strangely defensive.

"Of course not, which is why it's a good thing she lives with me, not you. It would slowly drive you nuts. But not everyone will, Ben. Keep yourself open to it, will you? I'd like to see you have more company when Amy's not around."

"Then come over more often," I'd told him, pouting, but we both knew it didn't work that way. Daniel ran the visual effects for the Cirque du Soleil show in the MGM Grand, meaning he wasn't finished work until nearly midnight. On weekdays I was generally in bed early enough to be at the gym at 8 am and the shop at 10. Daniel often came out with us on Saturdays and I loved cooking Sunday dinner for him, but otherwise it was difficult for us to spend a lot of time together. He'd taken to bribing Julie to find out my lunch breaks, showing up at the shop with sandwiches or take-out and forcing me to eat. As much as I grumbled, I did really enjoy seeing him.

"Just keep yourself open to the idea," had been Daniel's final advice. "Maybe you and this Irish guy will get on really well."

Sometimes I wondered if Daniel was psychic.

Saturday morning I'd just gotten back from the gym as Larry was getting out of the shower from his run, heading back to the guest room wearing a towel wrapped around his waist. This could actually work, I found myself thinking as I tucked my gym bag into my closet, changing into clothes for work. We both had a bathroom to use, he was easy to get along with, he even did dishes for me when I cooked.

I wished I knew why I felt so nervous about asking.

"I don't know if you've started looking for places to live yet," I started as we were heading out the door, trying to push away the strange, trembling feeling in the base of my stomach. The worst he could do would say no, right? "I was kind of thinking... you know, we get along well enough and my cooking hasn't killed you, so maybe - if you want to, I mean - you could rent my spare room and stay for a while and we could see how things go. At least you wouldn't have to buy furniture yet, right? If you don't want to or you already have something lined up I totally understand, I just figured - "

Larry laughed, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "You make it sound like you want to get hitched. Yeah, I'll stay. I'd really like that."

"Really?" I'd steeled myself for him to decline, and the fact he'd agreed left me feeling a bit off-balance.

" 'Course. If your girl won't mind?"

Amy'd called home one night after I'd gotten off work, but hadn't seemed to mind when I'd told her I had someone staying with me. She was on the east coast performing, and the time difference meant she didn't get a chance to talk very often. She mostly wanted to talk about the show, anyway. "Ah, Amy's not moving in any time in the near future. It's fine."

"Then I'm happy to stick around for awhile. Let me know how much you want for rent and such."

"Sure," I replied, and strangely couldn't stop myself from grinning.

 

~~~

It was kind of an unwritten rule that no one worked past nine on a Saturday. By the end of the week we were generally too overworked to even consider it, anyway. I finished up my last appointment half an hour early and started cleaning up my station.

May glanced over me from her workstation. "Did we decide where we're going tonight? I brought a change of clothes with me. Daniel said he's going to join us after the show's finished."

"I figured we'd tackle the strip," I said, glancing over at Larry and grinning, feeling a thrill of excitement. "Celebrate this guy surviving his first week."

"And kill me at the same time?" Larry asked, returning my grin. He finished bandaging the shoulder of the client he'd been working on, happily taking the twenty the guy pressed into his hand. "Thanks, mate. See you in two weeks? No swimming, and no suntanning, remember."

"You're busting my balls," the guy replied, chuckling, clapping him on the shoulder. "No swimming, no sun tanning. Thanks for the ink, man, it's super sick."

Larry saw him to the front desk, then came back, starting to wipe down, looking up at me with no small amount of dread. "So. We're going out on the strip?"

I nodded. "I figured we could start at Treasure Island for a bite to eat, I did some work on one of the cooks who works in the lounge overlooking the cove, said he could get me a table on the terrace. Gives an awesome view of the wiggly pirate girl show."

"The... what?"

"The sirens of TI," May told him, waggling her eyebrows. "Best free show on the strip, trust me."

"Okay," Larry said slowly. "Dinner and a show. Sounds like fun?"

"Oh, that's just the beginning," I told him, smirking. "After we hit up a nightclub. Actually, you want to go to the peelers? They're amazing here. Even May's a fan."

"Strippers are hot," May agreed, spraying down her bed with disinfectant and wiping it down.

Larry laughed softly, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Nah, I'm not so much into strippers."

I grinned, patting his back. "No? Why, you have some jealous girlfriend back home you've been hiding? She won't find out."

I'd meant the teasing to reassure him, but instead he looked even more uncomfortable, and the laugh he gave sounded faintly terrified. "No, no, nothing like that. It's just, ah, ladies in general, you know. Not really what I fancy."

"Ah." Somehow it didn't surprise me... but I was also instantly reminded of the attraction I'd felt towards him that I'd carefully locked away for the past week. I tried to ignore it, resorting to teasing to try and forget about it. "You want to do 'Thunder Down Under' then?"

Larry half choked, but seemed immediately more relaxed, laughing, shaking his head. "Oh god no. Why don't we just go for drinks? There must be a pub around here we can get appropriately pissed at."

"We could get mile long margaritas and walk down the strip until we find some place to stop at," May suggested. "If we leave right after the 10:00 Sirens show we'll get to the Bellagio in time to see a couple of fountain shows."

"Oooh, I haven't done that in forever!" Cherry looked up from her work to join the conversation. Cherry Garcia was the newest member of the shop before Larry, having joined us about a year previous. She was a curvy blond girl who had a vibrant, rockabilly wardrobe and a personality to match. I'd liked her from the get go, even if she had managed to talk us all into taking the most ridiculous Christmas photo dressed as elves for the shop Christmas card this past holiday. "It's so much fun, Larry, you won't regret it."

"If I do, you're all getting the blame," he told me, the threatening tone ruined by his grin.

"Great. I'll tell Frank," I said, heading to his office. I was almost certain my little twin had a thing for our manager, and I definitely wanted to encourage it. Frank was in his mid thirties, and while I would normally feel uneasy about a nearly ten year age gap, I knew he was a solidly good guy. Plus, Daniel hadn't shown much interest in anyone beyond the occasional one-night-stand since his last boyfriend had left, and I wanted to encourage him back into the dating scene. I was sure something would happen between them if I could just get them together more often....

To his credit, Larry managed not to behave like a complete first timer on the strip, just taking everything in as we made our way through the Treasure Island casino, past rows of slot machines, roulette wheels and blackjack tables. Growing up in Vegas it had never seemed all that awe-inspiring to me, so it was never much of a big deal to go out on the strip. But I loved taking someone out who'd never seen the strip before. When Cherry had joined the shop a year and a half ago we'd all gotten completely plastered, and it was still one of the best party nights I'd ever in a long time.

Larry and I finished up at the shop early and went down together to get a table. My contact managed to get us a table overlooking the Siren's cove after a short wait, and sent out a couple shots of Jack Daniels complimentary.

"This is really nice of him," Larry remarked after shooting it back. "He's that happy with your work?"

I shrugged. "People tip differently, I don't mind things like services rendered. It's easier sometimes, with Vegas being so tourism heavy. I think between the four of us we have contacts among either the door staff or bartenders in almost every club on the strip. So we can go anywhere you want after this, really."

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied, chuckling.

I ordered a round of appetizers, which arrived as May, Cherry, Morgan and Frank joined us. There was just enough time to order food and a round of drinks before the show started. I'd seen the free show at Treasure Island, 'The Sirens of TI', more times than I could count, but it was still my favorite place to take a Vegas Virgin. It represented almost everything that was great about the glamor of Vegas, in my opinion - over the top showmanship, fancy special effects, scantily clad dancing girls, and left the audience with a resounding impression of the opulence and splendour that was the draw of the Las Vegas strip.

Of course, it didn't hurt that our terrace table had a great view of the second pirate ship full of shirtless, well muscled men. I certainly didn't mind the view. Larry didn't stop grinning.

After dinner - and adamantly not letting Larry pay for anything - we headed out of the lounge and back down towards the casino floor. "Hey guys," Cherry stopped beside a lighted sign. "It's the 29th tonight, right?

I glanced over to the sign advertising the headlining act in residence at Treasure Island's newly re-named nightclub, Wonderland. "Yeah, why? The DJ any good?"

"Is he any..." Cherry looked shocked, and made a vague, flailing motion in the air with her hands that was rather adorable. "DJ Chessure is only one of the best electronic music artists - not just a DJ, thank you very much - on the face of the planet!"

I shook my head. "I'm a rock 'n roll kind of guy, don't ask me questions about this techno house dubstep stuff. That's Daniel's field of interest."

"He definitely does not play techno!" came the almost insulted sounding reply from Cherry.

"They played some of his songs on the radio sometimes on the station we listened to at my last shop in Dublin," Larry added unexpectedly. "Pretty catchy. I wouldn't mind seeing him."

May adjusted her shirt a little to show more cleavage. "I'll go see how long the wait to get in is," she said, winking at us before skipping ahead and starting down the stairs.

"I'll come with you!" Cherry was only steps behind, the full skirts of her appropriately cherry-printed pin-up dress swirling around her.

We followed at a more sedate pace. I glanced over at Frank. "You going to stay for a bit?"

"Maybe for a few drinks," he replied, and I wondered if I could managed to keep him out with us long enough for Daniel to join us.

Wonderland turned out to be a no-go. The girls met us back halfway through the casino, both pouting. "He's all sold out," Cherry said mournfully. "Ticket holders only."

"Even Cherry's cleavage didn't help," May added, just as mournful. "Doesn't anyone have connections at Wonderland?"

"It's too new." Morgan slipped an arm around Cherry's shoulders to give her a squeeze. "I'm sure someone will sooner or later. We'll come back then, baby girl. Let's go get those mile-long margaritas and walk down to the Bellagio."

"We should start a pool," May suggested as we headed out of the casino. "What do you guys say? Twenty bucks a person, and the first artist to get a connection at Wonderland gets it all as long as they take us out with them."

Morgan and Cherry were in immediately. I shrugged. "Sure, what the hell. You in, Larry? You don't have to if you don't want to."

"You're only saying that 'cause he has the best chance of winning," May said, smirking. "Having the most open schedule means the most new clients."

"I'd be in even if it didn't," Larry reported, giving me a grin. "You're on."

We all picked up mile long margaritas: huge, long plastic glasses which we filled with a variety of frozen alcoholic drinks. We sipped them as we walked down the strip, though May and Garcia only bought one strawberry daiquiri between the two of them, passing it back and forth. We all ended up trading off anyway. The shop would be toast if any of us ever got mono, I found myself thinking.

The peach bellini I bought was surprisingly tasty, if a little sweet, and Larry seemed content with nursing his frozen mojito, taking in the sights as we walked. We reached the Bellagio fountains shortly before 11:45, which I thought was fortunate - the midnight show was always the Star Spangled banner, which was impressive but a shade patriotic for showing to foreigners.

We managed to find a deck overlooking the fountains that wasn't too crowded, letting the girls stand at the railing, closest to the show. I sent Daniel a text. _'We're watching the fountain show. Want to meet up when you're done?'_

 _'Come for drinks at Centrifuge at MGM,'_ came the reply a few minutes later. _'Good music. I'll meet you there.'_

The fountain show started up before I could suggest it to the group, and for the next five minutes we all just enjoyed the spectacle - the boom of the fountains being shot up hundreds of feet into the air, choreographed to some beautiful classical sounding music that I thought might be Sarah Brightman. Larry was mesmerized, gazing upon the spectacle, a smile playing about the corners of his generous mouth. I couldn't help but stand closer to him, feeling a little proud of myself. It made me happy to see him enjoying himself and I was glad to have contributed to it.

Living together was going to be a good thing.

Everyone else ended up liking the idea of Centrifuge, and we started down the strip to MGM. "That was bloody amazing," Larry said to me as we walked, still sounding a little awed. "I don't know how you're not down here every night."

"We can come down again sometime after work if you like," I told him. "They've got about a couple dozen different songs they play. More during Christmas."

"During Christmas? It's not too cold?"

"Welcome to Vegas," I replied with a triumphant grin, tilting my margarita glass towards him and clinking it against his. "Cheers."

It was after midnight when we arrived to find Daniel waiting for us inside Centrifuge, which was busy without being overly packed. I'd been there a few times before - it was a nice place to go for cocktails, the lounge music played at a low enough volume that you could still converse. Daniel gave me a warm smile and a big hug. "Happy to see you, dear heart," he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek before pulling back to grin up at Larry. "Congratulations on surviving in Vegas. First round of shots is on me."

Larry chuckled, shaking his head. "I just finished the largest mojito in the world, and you want me to do shots? I'm not surviving Vegas much longer if we keep this up."

"Really?" I turned to him and gave him a challenging smirk, though I knew what he was talking about - I was beginning to feel pretty gloriously tipsy myself. "Oh come on, I thought you were Irish."

"I am Irish," he shot back with a mock glare, "And I can drink you under the table any day, Yank."

"I'm sure you both can drink equally impressively," Daniel told us, pressing shots of some amber coloured liquid into our hands. "No drinking contests. Now put your finger under your nose and drink up."

Larry stared at him. " _What?_ "

"Oh! Is this a Burt Reynolds? I love those!" May grabbed a shot in one hand, putting a finger under her nose as instructed. "Like a moustache, get it? Cheers!"

I'd been hoping for Jack Daniels or something likewise manly, but I shouldn't have expected anything else from my brother. Still, I shot back the drink, swallowing down the sweet mix of spiced rum and butterscotch schnapps.

"That was actually pretty good," Larry said, setting the shot down on the bar, and Daniel smiled.

"Good. Then we can be friends."

We ordered a round of drinks - on Frank this time - and settled around a couple of round bar tables to drink and talk. The girls dominated the conversation, both a little flushed from the drink, but I was just happy to be out with everyone, enjoying some time away from work and happy to introduce my house mate to the Vegas nightlife. Also very satisfying was the fact that my brother had perched on a stool at one end of the tables and was deep in conversation with Frank, leaning close to him to speak without being heard.

"Let's go dancing," Cherry said suddenly. "I have an in with the head of security at Tabu. You guys up for it?"

"I'm afraid I need to go home," Daniel told us, giving us an apologetic smile. "I'm required at the theater for an early rehearsal tomorrow. I will join you another time?"

"You'd better." May gave him a tight hug. "I'll see you later."

I wasn't surprised when Frank got up as well. "Dancing is for the young," he said simply, giving a nod to all of us. "Don't get too drunk and get home safe. I expect you all at work next week."

"Night boss," I said, giving Frank a nod and Daniel a hug. I tried very hard to keep from smirking, but was half aware I was probably failing miserably. "Have a good night, little one."

"You too," he replied, his smile strangely knowing, and left.

Cherry did indeed have a contact in the head of security, who I recognized from some work she'd finished for him a few months ago. He caught her up in a hug as he let us in, fond and adoring, but it was hard for me to tell whether or not there was something between them. Cherry somehow seemed to inspire adoration.

It was easy to get lost in the lights and music of Tabu. Despite my claims of not being into electronic music, whatever they were playing at the club turned out to be pretty decent, having nice rhythms and distorted, heavy bass that thrummed through me. Larry took to it like a fish to water, moving with the girls through the crowd, dancing fluidly to the beat of the music.

"It's been awhile since I've been to a nightclub that wasn't a gay bar," he admitted breathlessly when he and I finally tumbled drunkenly into the back of a cab, the alcohol making his accent even thicker, and if I did say so myself, more sexy. "That was wicked. Thank you."

"It was pretty fun," I agreed, leaning forward and giving my address to the cab driver, speaking carefully to keep from slurring. Then I flopped back against the seat, half leaning against him and grinning up at him. "Glad you like Vegas."

Larry's answering smile was wide and fond, and I found myself thinking again about his mouth, his eyes, his voice... everything about him that I found so appealing and had tried to push away. "Vegas is great," he said, smile still wide and warm. I grinned and let my head fall back against the seat, comfortable and drunk and happy.

Thankfully it was easy to get back onto the freeway from the MGM, and we were home soon enough, dragging ourselves out of the car and up the walk to my house. Larry stumbled on the path, and I caught him, keeping my arm around him to steady him and trying to ignore how good it felt to be close to him. "You okay?"

"I'm bloody hammered," he replied cheerfully, and I laughed.

"Me too," I said, climbing the steps to my front door and fishing out the keys. It was a small miracle I managed to unlock the door and lock it again behind us, holding onto his arm as I toed off my shoes. "Thanks for letting me take you out. Haven't had this much fun in a while."

"Same here," he said, meeting my gaze and smiling softly. "Thanks for letting me stay, Ben. It makes me - I'm really happy."

"I'm happy you're staying," I replied, reaching up impulsively to cup his cheek with one hand, sliding my fingers into his thick red hair. Larry's lips parted slightly, and suddenly all I could see in his eyes was the same desire I felt myself. Without thinking I pulled him closer, feeling his soft inhalation of breath against my mouth as my eyes fell closed, as I let myself finally indulge in a kiss from those lush lips.

"Oh god," Larry breathed against my mouth, pressing forward eagerly as his hands slid around my waist, returning my kisses with a little hungry groan, his lips parting under mine. He tasted of heat and alcohol and desire, and before I knew it I had him pressed up against the wall, fingers tangled in his hair to hold him to the kisses I took again and again. It was too easy to give in to desire, tasting him hungrily, our bodies pressed together. I was already half hard despite the alcohol, and he gave a soft whimper into my mouth as I rolled my hips up against his, his hands slipping down to grab my ass through my jeans and pull me closer. Then he broke from my mouth with a soft gasp, letting go of me and pushing me away to get out from between me and the wall. "I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, shaking his head. "You have a girlfriend. I can't...."

"Fuck." It was true, and the guilt washed over me heavily. I'd wanted so badly to forget about it and give into my desires. "Fuck, I'm sorry. You're right. I just..." I just want you, I wanted to say. "I'm just really drunk."

"We both are," Larry replied, smiling apologetically. He took another step back towards the guest room. "Should probably sleep it off, yeah?"

"Yeah," I agreed, trying not to think about what I'd done and what it would mean. I'd have to deal with it in the morning, anyway. "Yeah, good idea. Goodnight, Lar."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite." The smile he gave me was almost wistful, but he'd disappeared into his room and shut the door behind him before I could respond.

For a moment it took every inch of self control to go after him, to forget about the whole girlfriend thing and just go after what I wanted so badly. But even inebriated, part of me knew it would be a very, very bad idea, especially if I wanted to have any hope in hell of him still wanting to live here.

Instead I slipped into my bedroom and locked the door behind me, pulling off my clothes and tossing them in the vague direction of the hamper. Crawling into bed, I gave in and slipped a hand into my boxers, curling my fingers around my now quite hard cock and biting my lip on a groan. This was only because I hadn't seen Amy in months, I tried to tell myself, trying to think about her as I stroked my fingers up and down the length of my cock. I hadn't had sex with her, hadn't had sex with anyone other than my right hand for months. That was why I'd given in to the temptation, the only reason why I'd act without thinking, why I'd set myself up to cheat... right?

But god, his mouth. My fingers sped up on my cock, my thumb stroking over the head of my cock on each upstroke to stroke over the slick of arousal and smooth it down my shaft. It had been so good to kiss him, and my thoughts returned too quickly to what it had felt like, the warmth and strength of his body against mine, his hands broad and strong as they stroked down my back.

What would have happened if he hadn't pulled back when he did? Would I have ended up on my knees in front of him, yanking open his jeans to swallow down his cock? God, it had been so long since I'd done that, so long since I'd been with a man. Maybe we would have both ended up in here, tearing our clothes off, pressed together in bed as our hands wrapped around each others cocks, jerking each other like I was now. I closed my eyes, biting down harder on my bottom lip and letting myself indulge, imagining it was his cock in my fingers, hard and hot and slick with arousal, tried to imagine that he'd drive into my touch demandingly, tearing kisses from my mouth as he came all over my fingers.

God, I wanted him. I wanted him down on his knees in front of me, his gorgeous mouth wrapped around my cock, groaning around me as he swallowed me down....

My breath caught as my passion crested, coming in slick spurts on my stomach and in my fingers as pleasure shuddered through me, my thoughts still centered on the gorgeous man in my guest room.

For a long moment I thought about nothing, my thoughts unfocused as pleasure ebbed. Then I gave a soft groan, forcing myself to get out of bed and step into my ensuite long enough to clean up.

Fuck, what the hell had I done? And was he really going to want to still stay with me now?

The thought was sobering, but thankfully between the alcohol and the afterglow of orgasm I fell quickly asleep. Whatever the consequences of my actions, they'd have to wait until morning.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Daniel Carson**

I wasn't quite sure when I made the decision to sleep with Frank Bumstead. I'd always found the man attractive, in a distinguished type of way, even before Tyler, my last boyfriend, had packed up and left. I wouldn't have dreamed of acting on anything when I was in a committed relationship, of course; it was just admiration. But I couldn't deny that after the sorrow of my break-up had ebbed, one of the first things on mind had been hooking up with Frank.

I didn't know a lot about the man, of course. I'd seen him around at the shop a lot, and been able to talk to him a few times when the artists had managed to get him out for drinks. I was fairly certain he was single. And Ben spoke highly of him, which was enough to make me think I wouldn't regret getting involved with him. It wasn't like I wanted something serious, anyway. Just something fun with a good man who could help me get back into the swing of dating.

I was happy Frank was with them when my brother and the other artists from the Rose met me at Centrifuge after work. I liked the lounge, and it was convenient - more often than not my coworkers and I would end up here for a nightcap after the last showing of Cirque du Soleil's KA got out of the theater downstairs.

I met Frank's gaze over Ben's shoulder as I hugged my brother in greeting, giving him a soft smile. I was fairly certain I'd made enough subtle overtures in the past that he had to be aware of my attraction to him, and from the way he looked at me I was likewise fairly certain he returned my interest. I'd considered waiting for him to make a move on me... but in love patience wasn't one of my strong suits.

I slipped onto the stool next to him as we settled at a couple of bar tables, pushing away my nervousness to give him a warm smile. "How have you been, Frank? How's work been treating you?"

He seemed to welcome my presence, leaning closer and returning my smile before taking a sip of his drink. "Oh, just more of the same. Trying to keep these hooligans in line. How are you?"

"I'm good," I replied, sipping my own drink. "Single, a little tired of not getting off work until midnight every night, but then what can you do. It's Vegas." I looked up at him over my glass as I took another sip for courage, leaning closer and lowering my voice. "You should invite me home to your place tonight, you know."

Frank, to his credit didn't look surprised at my forwardness. He gave a slow nod, a slight smile gracing his lips. "Should I, now. I didn't realize you were interested."

"Don't tease, you know I am," I said, returning his smile and turning into him. "And I know you are. So we should stop dancing around and take advantage of our mutual interest."

Frank was silent for a moment, holding and searching my gaze. Then he gave another small nod, still smiling. "I suppose we should."

"Good." I took another swallow of my drink before looking back to him. "So?" At his questioning quirk of an eyebrow I continued. "Are you going to ask me?"

Behind me, Frank's hand moved to rest on the small of my back, warm through my jacket. When he spoke his voice was low and promising, sending a shiver of desire down my spine. "I'd very much like it if you would come home with me and let me make love to you, Daniel. Will you?"

His words were even more of a turn on than I expected, and suddenly I wanted to get up and immediately drag him out to a taxi. "I'd like that very much," I murmured, feeling the tips of my ears heat up from the unexpected self-consciousness I felt at my arousal. "How soon do you think we can leave without anyone noticing?"

Frank chuckled softly, fingers stroking slow circles against my spine as he turned away slightly, taking a sip of his drink. "Soon enough. This group won't want to stay here long."

"Let's go dancing," Cherry said suddenly. "I have an in with the head of security at Tabu. You guys up for it?"

I quickly recognized the opportunity. "I'm afraid I need to go home," I told them, giving them what I hoped was an apologetic smile. "I'm required at the theater for an early rehearsal tomorrow. I will join you another time?" It was a lie, but they wouldn't know that. May, my roommate, would of course figure out something was up when I didn't come home, but I'd text her once we were gone. I knew I could count on her to be discreet.

"You'd better," May replied, wrapping her arms around me for a hug goodbye. "I'll see you later."

Frank got up as well, obviously in tune with my train of thought. "Dancing is for the young," he told them, keeping his distance from me prudently. "Don't get too drunk and get home safe. I expect you all at work next week."

"Night boss," Ben told him, then gave me a hug as well, trying very hard not to smirk. "Have a good night, little one."

I shouldn't have expected to be able to keep my twin in the dark about anything. Still, I did nothing to confirm whatever suspicions he might be having, simply returning his smirk. Besides, despite his straight man act, I had a feeling he was a bit more fond of his new housemate than he let on. "You too," I said, following Frank out of the restaurant at a platonic and hopefully unsuspicious distance.

He walked closer to me once we were well and truly out of view of the lounge, slipping an arm around my waist as we made our way towards the taxi stand. Once we were in line he pulled me closer, one hand cupping my cheek as he leaned in to kiss me, slow and warm and sweet, making my pulse race and leaving me more than a little breathless.

"I didn't know you were interested," he murmured, giving me an apologetic smile. "I thought it was only my own wishful thinking. Thank you. Good thing one of us has balls."

"I'm sure yours are great," I replied dazedly, giving a an embarrassed laugh as I realized just what I'd said. "I mean - "

"Come on, love birds. You're next," said the valet at the taxi stand, distracting me, and I gave him a grin and a shrug, following Frank into the taxi.

Frank's apartment, when we finally reached it, was neat, tidy. Functional, but had touches of old world class that I thought fit the man very well. After a cursory glance around, I turned to Frank, slipping out of my shoes as the man locked the door. "Nice. Thank you for having me over."

Frank gave a nod, seeming a little uncertain now that we were home. "Can I offer you a drink? Coffee, something stronger?"

I chuckled softly, stepping forward and running my fingers up the length of Frank's tie. "Something stronger," I murmured, wrapping my fingers around the silk just below the knot, and when I leaned in to claim Frank's mouth with my own the man didn't resist, hands moving to grasp my hips and pull me closer to him in a very satisfyingly possessive way.. 

Frank gave a low groan against my mouth, pulling me closer, his kisses quickly growing heated and demanding as he shifted to press me back against the wall. "You're a hell of a thing, Daniel."

"Just getting started," I replied, loving the feeling of being pinned and surrendering to it completely. I let my hips rock up against Frank's, already half hard and satisfied to feel Frank's erection tenting the front of his slacks. "God, I can't even tell you how long I've wanted you to fuck me."

Frank gave a soft hiss against my mouth, breaking to trail hungry kisses along my jaw. His hands pushed between me and the wall, pulling me closer. "And here I thought you were so proper and refined. Appearances are so deceiving."

"Mmhmm...." I tilted my head to allow him better access go my neck, clenching my fingers at Frank's back through his jacket. "For you, too. Seems so much hotter that way... knowing I can make such a proper gentleman all hot and bothered and wanting to fuck my ass...."

"God." Frank pulled away breathlessly, eyes dark and appreciative. "You have the mouth of a whore."

The insinuation hit so many of my buttons, and the whimper his words pulled from my lips was almost embarrassingly needy. "Bed?"

Frank gave a curt nod, pulling away and catching my hand to lead me past the main room and into a bedroom that was as neat as the rest of the house. But I was far more interested in Frank, letting the man pull me close and claim my mouth again. I went to work on the knot of his tie, lips parting to Frank's kisses as the man seemed determined to touch every part of me, mouth hot and demanding as he kissed me again and again. It seemed like everything before this had just been one long, extended foreplay - all the looks and hinting and teasing words - and now, being here, I felt so incredibly turned on that all I wanted to do was yield completely, to give myself over and let Frank do whatever he wanted.

I managed to get Frank's shirt unbuttoned in between kisses and having my own clothes pulled off, and I pushed it and his coat off his shoulders, letting my hands stroke over his bare skin. Frank was as well-kept as his well fitted suits had hinted at, and it was hard not to want to just skip any more foreplay and beg him to fuck me now.

Instead, I broke from his kisses to sink to my knees, looking up at him through my eyelashes as I undid his belt and slacks, tugging them down to free his already hard cock. Frank's eyes darkened as he watched me, fingers of one hand sliding into my hair, tightening as I leaned forward to run my tongue up the length of his erection. "God, Daniel...."

I gave a soft, appreciative hum as I took the head of his cock in my mouth, eyes falling closed to relish in the sensations. Frank was thicker than my ex, I realized rather happily, groaning around him as my lips slid down his shaft. The thought of what it would feel like to have him inside me made me almost unbearably aroused, my cock hard and aching in the constraints of my slacks. Still, I made myself focus on what I was doing, enjoying the taste of his skin and the slightly bitter taste of his arousal as I pulled back to tease the head of his cock with my lips and tongue. I loved the heat of him, the feel of his cock sliding over my tongue as I moved my mouth on him, my fingers wrapped around the base of his shaft, stroking slowly. I loved the way his fingers tightened in my hair, urging more, controlling me just a little, and when he started to rock into my mouth I let him take control, moving my hand and groaning around him as I swallowed him to the hilt.

"You suck cock like a pro." Frank's voice was low and husky, dirty words falling from his lips surprisingly naturally, and I moaned helplessly around him, pressing the heel of my hand hard against my cock through my slacks to try and stem the tide of arousal.

Pulling away, I let his cock pull from my lips, looking up at him and trying to catch my breath. "Will you fuck me? Please?"

Frank's eyes narrowed, his thumb brushing my lips as he regarded me, his voice still husky when he finally spoke. "Get up and take off the rest of your clothes. Get on your hands and knees on the bed."

I swallowed hard and got to my feet, trying not to seem too eager as I undid my slacks, pushing them off with my boxers. Frank stepped forward to claim my lips again, kisses hot and hard and demanding, one hand curling around my cock and stroking me slowly from root to tip. I gave a soft, helpless whine against his mouth, trying to rock up into his touch, frustrated when he slowed.

"You like to be ordered around, don't you?" he murmured, leaning in to nuzzle my ear, nipping at the lobe. "You like feeling dirty?"

"A little bit," I breathed, letting my head fall back, moaning as he smoothed his thumb over the head of my cock, spreading the slick of my arousal down the shaft of my cock. "Oh god...."

"Get on the bed and show me that hot little ass of yours," he murmured, words thrumming through me, and I stepped away to do as he said without hesitation, helping him pull the covers back and settling on the mattress on my hands and knees, ass in the air. Frank stroked a hand over one cheek appreciatively, taking something out of the bedside drawer before moving to kneel behind me, hands kneading and massaging my ass.

"Please," I gasped, feeling so turned on that I was almost - almost - willing to take him dry and unprepared. What I didn't expect was the slide of his tongue against one ass cheek, kissing and nipping my skin, then moving down as his hands spread my ass cheeks and the wet flat of his tongue licked over my entrance.

I cried out breathlessly before I could stop myself, trying not to move under him, shuddering under the sensation as he went to work - hot, wet, strokes, teasing sensitive nerve endings over and over until I felt nearly mad. "Oh god - Frank, please - please, I can't - oh god, fuck me - !"

"Patience, my beautiful little whore," he murmured, his tone fond and words wonderfully dirty all at once, breath playing against my skin. He licked me again, his tongue pressing against me harder, breaching me, fucking inside me in slow, insistent thrusts. It was mindlessly arousing, but still not quite enough, and when two slick fingers eased inside me I almost sobbed in relief.

"You act like such a needy little slut," Frank murmured, his breath hot against my skin, tongue flicking out to trace around his fingers as they moved in me, just barely brushing against my sweet spot. "Just want me to fuck you, don't you? To pound into this cute little ass and make you come on my cock?"

"Please," I gasped, trying to rock onto his fingers, body trembling from need and anticipation. "God Frank, please. Fuck me."

His fingers eased away, and I heard the crinkle of a wrapper. Then he was pressed against me, the thick head of his cock penetrating me in slow, insistent thrusts. I cried out in pleasure and relief both, pressing back against him and letting the shivery ache of penetration shudder up my spine. It seemed like it had been forever, waiting, needing, and now that he was finally inside me I submitted completely to the pleasure of it, rocking with him, trying to fuck myself on his cock.

I shifted to lean on my forearms, bracing myself more against the bed, crying out as the head of his erection pressed against my prostate, sending a flood of sensation through me. Frank leaned over me, resting on his arms on the bed as his hips snapped into me harder, our bodies connecting perfectly again and again, sending hot shocks of sensation through me. "God, Daniel.... this what you wanted?" he breathed, setting a hard, punishing pace. "Just wanted me... to fuck you into the bed?"

"Yes - !" I managed to gasp, hands clenched at the sheet underneath me, feeling completely ravished and helpless under him. It was overwhelming, and I bit my bottom lip, trying to stave off the rush of pleasure pushing me relentlessly towards climax. "Frank - !"

"Perfect." Frank's words were gruff and breathless, hips stuttering in their pace. "Feel so good, my pretty little slut... so tight..."

I was too far gone to reply, but I loved everything about it - his words, his obvious pleasure, the pound of his cock as he used me hard and fast. All I could do was cry out wordlessly and try and resist the call of my own orgasm through an agonizingly intense build of pleasure, wanting, needing to enjoy this as long as I could.

"Come for me," he growled, low and rough. "Want to feel you come... just from being fucked... like the little whore you are. You're so close...."

The dirty talk was too much, and I rocked onto his cock almost frantically, riding the edge of orgasm. When the wave of pleasure finally crashed it overwhelmed me completely, rushing through every nerve in my body as I bucked back against him. Frank slowed a little, pressing his lips to the back of my neck, and as conscious thought returned I became aware of his low, helpless groan, burying himself in me, the heat between us intensifying as he pulsed and came inside me.

I didn't try to pull away, staying pressed against him as I caught my breath, enjoying the warm, lazy sense of well being that came from the afterglow of orgasm. The feeling of being filled by his thick cock was satisfying, and when he finally eased away from me, I couldn't help but give a soft whimper of loss.

"Let me clean us up," Frank murmured in my ear, kissing my neck before moving away, He returned holding a towel and a warm cloth, throwing the first down onto the wet spot and stroking the cloth over my stomach. Tossing it towards the hamper, he slipped back into bed and urged me to curl close to him, catching my mouth in soft, lingering kisses. 

I found myself liking the affection, curling up against him and nestling my head on his chest. "That was really, really good."

"Glad you thought so. I did as well." Frank's lips pressed to my hair, fingers stroking down my spine. "Wasn't sure how far you wanted me to take the dirty talk, it's been awhile since I've had anyone who wanted it."

"It was amazing," I murmured, low and pleased, pressing a kiss to his chest. "So sexy. Thank you. It's been awhile since I've been with someone who was so engaging in bed."

"Mmm. Really? I would have thought you inspired it in your lovers."

I shrugged in reply. "My ex and I didn't see each other very much near the end of our relationship, and the sex became kind of mechanical. I guess I wasn't too surprised when we broke up. And... I think there's a difference between just picking someone up who you've just met at a bar and actually hooking up with someone you've been wanting for a while...."

"That's very true," Frank murmured in reply, pressing another kiss to my hair. For a time, he was silent, fingers stroking slow circles on my skin. Too silent, I found myself thinking, and I shifted to prop myself up on one elbow, meeting my lover's troubled gaze and giving him a soft smile. "Everything okay?"

Frank frowned as he exhaled. "I want to see you again."

"And that's a bad thing? I wouldn't mind."

"No, I just...." he stopped, reaching up to run his fingertips along my jaw, brushing my lips with his thumb. "You're young and vibrant and beautiful, and I'm a stuffy old workaholic."

I shrugged. "Older than me. Not old. Not stuffy either, if tonight was any indication. The shop keeps you busy enough to be a workaholic?"

Frank chuckled softly. "Tattoo artists are still artists. Just as many prima donnas as a theater, just in different ways. The clients are worse. And since Julie went back to school I've been on desk duty during the day, which makes getting paperwork done during office hours completely impossible. I don't have time for dating."

"Hmm. I see your point." I moved to snuggle up against his side again, resting my head on his shoulder. "Why not hire someone to work the desk?

Frank made a low noise in the back of his throat that made it sound like I'd suggested a trip to the dentist. "Even if I could find someone competent enough to work the desk and dedicated enough to deal with the clients, no one would want the hours. Julie still does evenings and weekends. No one's going to take a ten to four shift Monday through Thursday."

I thought it through for a long moment. "How much is the shop willing to pay?"

"Sixteen, seventeen an hour. What Julie's making." He shifted down to look down at me, quirking an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I could do it for a while, if you'd like."

Frank's eyebrows knit together, but I could see the beginnings of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Really? You sure you want to pick up a part time gig?"

"I've been considering it for a couple months now," I admitted. "I don't want to work at KA forever, just running other people's art. I didn't get into visual effects for that. But I need to be a bit more stable financially before I go independent, and KA doesn't pay well enough for me to clear up my student loans as quickly as I'd like. This would help me out. And I like the shop. I could see Ben more often."

"And it wouldn't conflict with your show schedule?"

"Not at all. Getting off at four gives me two hours before work. Time to go home, change...." I wet my lips and gave him a little smirk. "Have dinner with the manager. Or sex."

He chuckled, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead and wrapping his arms around me, holding me closer. "We could try it out for a bit and see how things go. You know we can't tell anyone about this, though. Not even Ben."

I chuckled. "Don't worry, my brother doesn't need to know _everything_ about my life. I'm not quite ready for him to know, anyway." I hooked a thigh over his hip and wriggled closer, nuzzling his neck. "Can we have sex in your office?"

Frank gave a soft hiss, eyes darkening as one hand smoothing down my back to cup my ass. "So your real motivation comes out... my horny little slut."

The twinges of arousal I'd been feeling turned into a surge of lust. I moved to push him onto his back, straddling his hips and rocking against them as I smiled down at him. "I'll show you horny little slut if that's what you want."

"You're gonna wear me out...." But Frank's smile was appreciative as he reached up to pull me down for another kiss.

This had definitely been a good idea.

~~~

 

**Ben Carson**

 

The one nice thing about going to bed dead drunk and then rubbing one out, I reflected shortly after waking up the next morning, was that I'd actually managed to sleep past ten am.

It was my one positive thought upon waking, and I clung to it desperately.

Head pounding, I crawled out of bed, grabbing my clothes off the floor and throwing them in the hamper, my now rather disgusting boxers included. Thank god for the heavy duty setting on the laundry.

I turned the shower on hot and let myself zone out for a while, letting the water beat a rhythm on my skin and rather wishing I could stay in there long enough to feel human again. When I got out I could hear dishes clanking in the kitchen. Larry was awake. I felt my stomach clench in knots.

The urge to swallow some Tylenol and go back to bed in an effort to escape both my hangover and the consequences of my drunken stupidity was strong, but unacceptable. I told myself to grow a pair, pulling on clothes and finally heading out into the main room of the house. "Hey."

Larry glanced over at me with a surprisingly sunny grin. "Oh, you are up. Good morning!"

I stared at him, uncomprehending. "How are you not hungover?"

"I'm hungover as hell, that's why I'm cooking," He responded cheerfully. "Went for a run and picked up this stuff - do you know there's a British grocers a couple of blocks from here? Costs an arm and a leg, of course, but what can you do. It's worth it to get the real stuff." He handed me one of my frappuccino mugs filled with what I assumed was cafe au lait. Another sat by his elbow, half empty. "Here, drink this. Hair of the dog."

I took the cup warily. "Dare I ask what's in this?"

"Coffee, Irish Cream and Jameson's Finest. No raw eggs or anything, don't worry."

I took a cautious sip, tasting more alcohol than anything else. "Oh my god. Is there actually any coffee in there at all?"

"At least a third of the cup," he reassured me, still grinning. "Sit, drink, this will all be ready in a jiffy. Don't worry, I'd have kicked the bucket long ago if I couldn't fry up a decent breakfast. How do you like your eggs?"

"Um..." I sat down at the breakfast bar, watching him move about my kitchen with ridiculous ease and trying to make sense of it all. "Sunny side up. Soft, if you can manage it."

"A man after my own heart," Larry said, going back to the pans.

Soon enough I had a plate of full breakfast in front of me - eggs, sausages, bacon, fried tomatoes, chunks of potato, some chunks of avocado that looked fried too, and a couple of round black and white things that I couldn't quite identify. "Thanks... what exactly am I eating?"

"Irish Breakfast. And avocado, because I figured you can't ever go wrong with avocado. Most of it's exactly what it looks like. That stuff is black pudding and white pudding. Best hangover cure, I promise you. Just trust me."

It sounded dubious, and part of me felt ill enough that I wanted to politely decline the unfamiliar foreign food, but I knew that it would probably be a bad idea to accept his hospitality after the fiasco of last night. "Thanks," I said, managing a smile and digging in. "I appreciate it. This is really nice to wake up to."

"Great, because I have enough of the pudding left in the freezer to do this again next time we get drunk," he replied, perching beside me at the bar and digging into his own plate.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, and while the food was greasy it was actually quite good - even the black pudding, which I thought might be some kind of blood sausage. As I ate I began to feel a bit more human, and the dread I'd felt upon waking began to slowly ebb away. Part of me was relieved that he hadn't brought up what had happened the night before. He couldn't be too upset if he'd made the effort to cook hangover breakfast. Maybe we could just not talk about it at all, just pretend it had never happened.

Larry washed down a sausage with a swallow of his alcoholic coffee. "So," he started, and my stomach sank as my hopes were dashed. Maybe this breakfast wasn't a peace offering after all. Maybe he was just gearing up to tell me that he'd be leaving, trying to soften the blow. I could see him watching me out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. After a moment of waiting, he continued anyway. "Last night. You know, normally I wouldn't care if a bloke had a girl or not. God knows I shagged enough blokes in Dublin who had girls waiting for them at home. I always told myself it wasn't my problem, that we were just having fun anyway. It wasn't like I wanted to date them anyway. But then I started to realize that I actually did. But I'd already made this reputation for myself, you see? So... it's kind of one of the reasons why I decided to move here. I can't let myself go back to being a whore."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling even more guilty. I'd fucked everything up, I was sure of it.

He shrugged. "Things happen. I'm not pissed or anything. Just wanted to explain myself, because I can't let that happen again, Ben." He was silent for a long moment, though, fingers fidgeting with the seam on his jeans. "Do you still want me to stay here, then?"

"Yes." I answered without even thinking about it - I did. I looked over to meet his gaze finally, afraid that he'd leave anyway and needing some kind of reassurance. "Please. I promise I won't pull any more stunts like that. I mean, if you still want to. I understand if you don't."

"I do," he said softly, a small smile on his lips as he glanced up at me. "Don't worry about it."

"I worry about a lot of things," I muttered, spearing a piece of fried tomato and stuffing it into my mouth just for something to do.

Larry patted my shoulder, and I couldn't help but wonder how he could be so calm. Despite my words and despite what I knew had to be done, I still wanted him, a low, thrumming desire to kiss him again that was hard to ignore. "It's not worth it, you know. Worrying. Things either work out or they don't. Just be yourself. Everything happens for a reason."

I managed a strained smile, taking another swallow of my coffee. "How are you so smart?"

"Wisdom of the Irish," he said with a straight face, then broke into laughter.

I found myself laughing too, his good humor making me feel reassured. Maybe things would be okay after all.

We both spent the rest of the day at home, and surprisingly it reassured me more than perhaps it would have to have not had him around. I turned on the TV, flipping through the PVR I'd never bothered trying to figure out before he set it up for me, and we spent the day watching sitcoms and dumb movies and working on designs for upcoming appointments.

It didn't make me want him any less, but returning to the familiar helped calm my nerves. Larry didn't act any differently than he had before, and it made it easier for me to try and set everything aside.

Larry and I went into the office around eleven on Monday morning, even though it was technically supposed to be my second day off in the work week. I'd booked in a couple hours each with two of my long time clients, though - it was nice to have the flexibility of a spare day, that way, and nicer to bring in some extra cash - and with only Morgan and the Chairman in the office I knew Larry would likely get any and all walk-ins that happened to show up.

When we entered the reception area I stopped short, staring. My twin sat behind the reception desk, talking to a rather hipster looking young man wearing pink pants who looked like he'd just arrived. Daniel looked up and gave us a wide smile as he stood. "Oh good, I was hoping you'd come in. Larry, this gentleman would like a tattoo of the Radiohead bear on his shoulder. I thought you might have time for a walk-in."

If Larry was surprised he didn't show it, immediately turning on the charm. "Of course, I've got some time free right now. Give me a moment to get set up, right? Then we can sit down and do up the design together. I'll meet you in the - " he waved his hand towards the waiting area. "Tent thing." Then he glanced to me, raising his eyebrows and pointedly inclining his head towards Daniel before disappearing into the back.

Daniel had an amused little smile as he watched me. "Good morning, dear heart."

I opened my mouth, and then closed it again, trying to figure out what was going on. "What are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too," Daniel replied, chuckling softly. "I work here."

"No, I work here," I echoed, staring at him. "You work here?"

"Just part time. Mr. Saito hired me this morning. Frank and I were talking on the way to the taxi stand on Saturday night and he mentioned needing some desk coverage during the day now that Julie's back in school. One thing lead to another and here I am. Figured it would be good to earn some extra cash, and Frank doesn't mind if I work on my visual effects programming between calls."

Something about my brother was off, like he was a little too cheerful, his smile a little too wide. I nodded slowly, moving behind the desk to lean close to him, keeping my voice low. "Are you two involved?"

Daniel's smile didn't falter, though he blinked several times. "No."

I found myself smiling. "Liar."

"We're not as far as you're concerned," Daniel said calmly. Then he grew serious, slipping a hand into mine, his blue eyes pleading behind his wire rimmed glasses. "Don't say anything, Ben, please...."

I smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. I couldn't bring myself to disapprove of it... after all, I'd wanted them to hook up in the first place. "You don't need to worry about me, little one. But your roommate might start to get a bit suspicious."

"I'll handle May," he said, returning the squeeze to my hand. "Thanks, Ben." He pulled away as the phone rang, sitting down again and picking up the receiver. "Desert Rose Tattoo, Daniel speaking. How may I help you?"

"He works here," I said to Larry as he emerged from the back, carrying a pencil and a sketch pad.

"I guess so," Larry said with a grin and a shrug, breezing past me to go meet his new client.

I walked to my station to set up for the day, shaking my head and wondering how my life had suddenly become so fucking surreal.

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

**John Murdoch**

My hotel room was too bright when I awoke, light from the Las Vegas sun streaming through the gap in the curtains I'd neglected to close completely the night before when I'd finally gotten home from working in the wee hours of the morning. The alarm clock beside the bed read twenty after eleven, which wasn't much earlier than the alarm was set for, anyway.

For a long moment, I considered closing the blinds and trying to fall back asleep. I'd agreed to spin at an after party after my regular club gig had finished last night, a birthday party for some rich hotel owner's son, and had felt dead on my feet when I finally got home. Good thing the money was worth it.

I forced myself out of bed, ignoring clothes for the time being and just pulling on one of the plush, comfortable hotel robes and belting it at the waist. Stepping into the ensuite bathroom I glanced in the mirror, satisfied to see that my green eyes weren't too bloodshot, and ran my fingers through the sleep-tousled curls in my short, dark hair until they looked halfway presentable. Then I padded across the hardwood floor and into the main room of the suite, glancing at the time. Eleven thirty. Perfect. I drew back the bolt on the front door and pulled it open. "Right on time, Greg."

One of the hotel porters was just arriving, pushing a breakfast trolley. He gave me a wide smile. "Good morning, Mr. Murdoch. The cook added extra bacon this morning. Said he heard the event last night went quite late."

"Best hotel in the world," I told him, letting him push the trolley into the suite and handing him a 20 dollar bill. My meals were all comp here anyway; I could afford to be generous. "Give him my thanks. The party wasn't too bad.... but there's no such thing as too much bacon."

"Man after my own heart," the porter agreed, taking the domes off the food and leaving.

I'd arranged for breakfast to always arrive at the same time whenever I was in residence, and the hotel always sent me always a huge variety of food. The granola, yogurt, fruit salad and pitcher of milk went straight into the suite's bar fridge still covered in saran wrap. My sister, Anna, had been staying in the guest room of the suite since just after I'd started performing here, while she was in rehearsals for the show she'd been hired for at Wynn hotel, and I knew she appreciated the leftover food. It was good, being able to spend some time with Anna, and one of the reasons I'd agreed to do a residency in the first place.

My residency was contracted to the club at Treasure Island Hotel in Las Vegas, who'd wined and dined me for almost six months before I'd finally signed on. They'd even renamed the club "Wonderland" for my show. The pay was decent. Not nearly as much as I could bring in on tour, of course, but between the perks and merchandise sales it more than made up for it. Wonderland was wired to record live, and we were making a mint selling each night's performance to a targeted audience at five bucks a download. The perks were even better - the suite, the food, and even a hotel room for my PR manager, Leon, were all inclusive in exchange for spinning four nights a week, three weeks out of the month. I'd rented out my Manhattan apartment, put most of my stuff into storage, and moved here full time apart from the occasional string of tour dates across North America.

It felt good to stay in one place most of the time. It had been a while.

I poured myself a cup of coffee, piling bacon, cheese and a fried egg into a croissant and settling down at my workstation to work on a new drumstep mix I'd started the previous afternoon. It was tempting to ignore it for a day... to take a break and live it up in Vegas like so many other artists did when they were in residence. I'd worked consistently at my music since I was a teenager, and I knew that even though I was finally considered one of the most well-known producers of electronic music in the world, I certainly wouldn't stay that way if I gave into the urge to sit on my ass and lazily enjoy fame.

While my laptop was booting up, my iPhone buzzed a notification against the table. Picking it up, I navigated to my calendar app, which I relied on far too much both for setting actual appointments and leaving myself random reminders of things to do later. _'Call Desert Rose Tattoo. Ask for Ben Carson.'_ , it read.

The reminder brought back memories of a conversation I'd had the night before between sets with the gorgeous - and unfortunately straight - best friend of the party's guest of honor. Straight man or not, the conversation had been far more valuable than even the blow job I'd gotten later that night from the cute waiter in the back room. Because Mr. Scrumptious Straight Boy had been covered by some of the most gorgeous asian-styled tattoos I'd had ever seen, and he'd told me there was no place better in Vegas than Desert Rose.

I felt a thrill of nervous excitement in the pit of my stomach as I looked up the number for the shop and punched it into my iPhone. No... more like the anticipation of being on stage than nervousness. I'd been considering getting inked for almost a year now... there was nothing to be nervous about.

"Desert Rose Tattoo, Daniel speaking. How can I help you?"

I decided immediately that I liked the shop, based solely on the man on the phone having one of the sexiest voices I'd ever heard: warm and rich and throaty. I found myself smiling as I replied. "Good morning, Daniel. My name is John. I was hoping to book a consultation with Ben Carson for full sleeves. Does he have any openings this week?"

There was a brief pause. "For a consultation, Ben has an opening in two weeks. But you should be aware that he's got a ten month wait list for all new clients. Will that be all right?"

"Ten months?!" I stared at the tattoo shop website on my laptop, stunned. I didn't even have shows booked that far in advance!

The man on the other end of the phone chuckled. "Ben is quite renowned, I'm afraid. He's one of our top artists. But all of our artists are very talented. John, if you're looking for a shorter timeframe I could book you in with one of our other artists who can do Asian style tattoos?"

I felt my eyebrows knit together. "Well, I'm not really looking for Asian style work. I want an Alice in Wonderland inspired piece. Maybe the option for a back piece at some point, too."

The man - Daniel's - voice was warm. "Well, unless you want Alice in Ukiyo-e style, you should probably speak with a different artist. If you don't mind if I make a recommendation? We have an artist we've recently recruited from Dublin named Larry Byrne. Very accomplished in the UK, and I think his style would suit an Alice inspired piece. He hasn't been here at the shop very long so we could get you started within the month. Would you like to come meet him and see what you think?"

I hesitated. I'd felt so positive about this idea of calling this Ben last night. It seemed fitting that if I was going to commit to having this art inked permanently onto my skin that I should get it by someone who was the best in the business. It seemed like I'd made a lot of incorrect assumptions, though. I could still book in with Ben, but my residency contract was only for 8 more months, and if Ben's style didn't suit what I wanted anyway..... "Sure, can't hurt. Any afternoon appointments?"

"Wednesday at two-thirty. Could I please get your last name, John? And a phone number we can reach you at?"

I hesitated before giving my name and the rest of the information. My PR manager didn't like me using my real name, but I found that unless someone was a really dedicated fan they normally didn't connect my name to my DJ Persona. "It's John Murdoch."

There was a brief pause, long enough that I began to wonder if he'd recognized me. If he did, he didn't remark on it. "Thank you, Mister Murdoch. Please bring printed copies of any reference material you have. Also, take a look at his portfolio on our website. If you have any questions or concerns just give me a call."

"Okay." Despite the hiccup, I had a good feeling about the appointment. "Thanks. You've been really helpful, Daniel. I appreciate it."

"It's what I'm here for," Daniel replied, and I heard him laugh softly. "Congratulations in advance on your tattoo."

I ended the call, smiling. Then I navigated through the Desert Rose website to the artist portfolios, opening the page for the one Daniel had recommended. Larry was cute, I decided, in a wiry, Irish kind of way. He had a generous mouth that was turned up into a lopsided grin in his bio photo. More importantly, his work was gorgeous - bold colour and strong lines that made me think a bit of graffiti but more of comic books, and he made really interesting choices in perspective that made me think that he might be the better choice of artist after all.

I picked up my phone again and hit the first number on speed dial.

"You're up and about early," said the voice on the other end. "It's before noon. Didn't bring anyone home last night?"

I chuckled. "Good morning to you, too, Leon. Hey, I need you to do something for me. I need printed copies of all the original artwork from Alice in Wonderland. And maybe the character designs for American McGee's Alice just for fun."

"You're a cruel taskmaster," Leon complained jokingly. "You need them before today's set goes up?"

"No, no. Just by Wednesday morning."

"Should be doable. What's it for?"

I tried to suppress a grin and failed. "I booked a consultation at Desert Rose Tattoo for my sleeves."

On the other end of the phone, Leon gave an exasperated sigh. "Good god, John. Can't you give me some notice when you do these things? Fuck, nevermind. Might as well ask a fish to climb a tree. What was the place called? Desert Rose? I'll vet it and let you know if you're clear to go. When's your appointment and with who?"

I sighed, trying not to feel frustrated at the fact that Leon generally made things far more complicated than I preferred. "I'm just getting tattooed, do we have to make such a fuss about it?"

"Keeping you rich and the right kind of famous is why you hired me," Leon reminded me. "Look, don't worry about it, I'll take care of getting the NDA from the shop and come up with a plan for social media. Just don't tweet about anything until I tell you it's good, okay?"

I wondered if Leon would ever let me do anything without a non-disclosure agreement. "Yeah, yeah, okay. You're such a pain in my ass."

"You wish," Leon replied, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Talk to you soon, John."

I chuckled to myself as I ended the call. In reality it had been the other way when we'd first met - Leon was a consummate bottom, and the sex had unfortunately been really good. Unfortunate, because as soon as I had started talking to him about the possibility of hiring him to be my PR Manager Leon had cut things off completely, insisting on complete professionalism and stalwartly resisting all my best efforts to change his mind. I didn't mind all that much - in truth, Leon was far more valuable to me professionally than in the sack - and it wasn't like I was lacking for willing bedfellows anyway. But it was still fun to tease him.

I took a large bite out of my breakfast sandwich, which was still warm and delicious, the creaminess of the slightly soft egg yolk mixing with the salty crunch of the bacon. Perfect. I could definitely get used to the opulence of living here in Vegas, I decided, hooking my laptop up to my mixing board. I managed to pull on my headphones one-handed, stuffing the rest of the sandwich in my mouth and grabbing a napkin off the trolley to wipe off the grease.

Tattoo or not, it was time to make music.

~~~

 

**Larry Byrne**

"Come to the mirror and see what you think." I finished peeling the design stencil off my client's arm and gave him a wide smile. "If you like the placement we'll get started right away."

I always found it so satisfying to see a client's face light up, and this guy didn't disappoint me. We'd talked about design ideas and his passion for Radiohead for about ten minutes while I sketched out thumbnails, and when I brought up the idea of making the tattoo a guitar and having the band logo as the body of the axe I knew I'd found something that resonated perfectly with him. This would be a great little piece, I decided, having played with the perspective so the guitar looked almost like it was coming out of his arm, a swirl of smoke in the background. It was so much more fulfilling for me to put my own twist on the design instead of just regurgitating icons from pop culture. I watched him turn in front of the mirror, flexing, nodding when the movement didn't make the design didn't distort too much. "It's so fucking sweet, man. Thank you so much."

"Thank me when I'm done," I replied, and grinned. 

Before I could continue, Frank stepped out of his office, his expression serious. "Larry, can I see you in my office for a moment?"

I immediately felt a surge of dread. I'd never even been in Frank's office, and whatever he needed to see me about definitely seemed serious. Maybe Ben had said something to him about Saturday night. Maybe ben wasn't as okay as he said he was. I forced a smile. "Yeah, for sure. Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," Frank said, a little distracted, walking past me and into the waiting room. "Daniel, I need to see you as well, please."

I gave my client a smile. "Just wait on the bed for me, I'll be out in a minute." He nodded, and I turned to step into Frank's office. It was a good size, but half used for storage and supplies, and I perched on the edge of the desk, trying not to worry. If he'd asked Daniel to come in as well then it couldn't be something I'd done, could it?

Daniel gave me a questioning look as he rounded the corner, turning to Frank as he shut the door behind them. "Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong per se," Frank said, and the sigh he gave sounded very long-suffering. "I just hate dealing with celebrities. I need to talk to you about the appointment you booked for Larry this afternoon."

Daniel's eyebrows furrowed. "The Radiohead guy?"

"No, the consultation for Wednesday. John Murdoch."

The name sounded vaguely familiar to me, though I couldn't quite place it. "Sweet, I have a consultation on Wednesday? Thanks, Daniel. What does he want done?"

"Alice in Wonderland sleeves," Daniel replied. "He'd gotten Ben's name from somewhere, but when I told him about your style and the fact that you could start pretty much right away he was sold." He glanced up at Frank. "He's famous?"

Frank shrugged "Apparently he's big in the club scene, goes by DJ Chessure?" Daniel gave a sudden squeak, and Frank glanced back to him. "You all right?"

Eyes wide, Daniel nodded, clearing his throat. "Ah, sorry. Go on."

"Anyway, his PR manager just called me, he's emailing over a non-disclosure agreement, everyone in the shop will have to sign off on not talking to anyone about this without approval of his manager. Larry, it's up to you whether or not you want to take him on as a client or not. We'll get some good publicity out of it, of course, and we've got a consulting lawyer we use for any high risk clients like this, so we'll make sure the waiver he signs is iron clad against any legal action if he ends up being an unhappy douchebag - "

I was only half listening, trying to place where I'd heard the name. Suddenly it clicked. "Oh! DJ Chessure! Wonderland! Yeah, I'll do it, not a problem."

Frank raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I replied, feeling a thrill of excitement at the idea. "I think I just won an extra eighty bucks." Frank looked almost scandalized, and I laughed. "Remember the bet we made at Treasure Island about getting an in at Wonderland? I'm definitely getting him to let us in as VIPs."

Daniel smiled, shaking his head. "He sounded really nice on the phone, Frank. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Just don't do anything... anything," Frank said, and sighed. "Fine. Go back to work. I'll bring out the NDA's when they arrive. Whatever you do, please don't say anything to anyone, and most definitely not in front of any customers. Understood?"

"Mum's the word, I swear on my life. Don't worry." I gave Frank a wink and made my way back to where my client was waiting, thinking that things in my professional life were about to get a lot more interesting.

~~~

 

 

**John Murdoch**

By the time the day of my consultation rolled around I could hardly concentrate. I slept late, having talked my sister's ear off about the tattoo after she'd gotten home from her show the night before. I was restless through breakfast, antsy in the shower, and by the time Leon finally knocked on the door to my suite I'd changed my clothes three times.

"Finally," I told him, pulling him inside. "Do you have the reference pics? How do I look?"

"Yes, and you look fine," Leon replied, giving a little irritated frown and handing over a folder full of paper. He looked irritated at me far too often, I thought, and part of the reason why I teased him so much was to try and get him to relax. Leon was always the picture of propriety and professionalism, and today was no exception - he was wearing slacks and a short sleeved dress shirt, a thin sweater vest over top, his shoes shined and hair neatly gelled in place. Watching me, he brightened suddenly. "You're having second thoughts, aren't you?"

"Not on your life, cutey pie," I said, grinning and flipping through the pictures. There were tons - all of the original illustrations including some I didn't recognize, the character sketches from the video game I'd asked for, and some other random artwork. I closed the folder, looking up at him. "This is really great, Leon. Thank you."

"I want a huge Christmas bonus," Leon told me, picking up a pair of my sunglasses from the table by the front door and handing them to me. "Come on, John. Let's go before you miss the appointment."

"I try to give you a huge Christmas bonus all the time," I complained as I followed him out the door, putting on my shades. "Its not my fault you don't want what I've got."

Leon groaned. "I said bonus, not boner."

"Same thing." I returned Leon's death glare with a grin, following him out of the hotel and into the parkade, getting into the passenger seat of his car. He just sighed, shaking his head as we started for the shop.

"John," he started, looking over at me rather wearily. "Look. The whole shop's signed NDAs, but that doesn't mean they can't charge you with sexual harassment. Please, please behave yourself."

"I always behave myself," I replied, and frowned, watching the buildings go by as we drove.

"You never behave yourself," he returned. "I don't know how you've managed to get by for so long without getting sued."

"It's because I know my audience perfectly," I told him with a grin. "It's not sexual harassment, it's being charming and suave."

"Has it ever occured to you that one of these days you're going to be charming and suave to the wrong guy and wind up with that pretty face of yours rearranged?"

"I take my face very seriously," I said. "And don't worry, really. My gaydar is always a hundred percent accurate. Everyone who I hit on loves me. Including you."

"I hate you, you cocky bastard," Leon replied with a smirk. "I only work for you because you're rich and you pay well."

"And because if you didn't work for me you might have to give in to your base desires and sleep with me again," I teased, laughing as he flipped me the bird.

The shop ended up not being too far from Treasure Island at all, and as I followed Leon up the stairs I felt a thrill of excitement. Slipping out of my shoes as the sign directed, I glanced around the room and stopped short. Behind the reception desk was one of the most delectable men I'd ever laid eyes on - blond and slight, a cute, boyish look to him. His mouth had the most curiously shaped yet appealing cupids bow, and I found myself wondering what it would be like to kiss it. Blue eyes behind round wire-rimmed glasses were concentrated on a laptop that sat on the desk, and he was dressed even more primly than Leon, which pushed all my clothing fetish buttons. He was definitely dressed far too well to be a straight man. The blond looked up suddenly, as if just noticing us, and gave a warm smile. "Welcome to the Desert Rose. Can I help you?"

The voice was the same as the one I'd heard on the phone, but a hundred times sexier in real life. I returned the smile, taking off my shades as I approached the desk and hooking them onto the v-neck of my t-shirt. "Daniel, right? I'm John Murdoch, we spoke on the phone on Monday." I couldn't look away from his gaze, extending a hand to shake his, then changing my mind when he grasped it and lifting his hand to my lips to place a kiss to the back instead. "I'm sorry - I thought you sounded gorgeous on the phone, but I didn't expect you to be even more exquisite in real life."

Behind me, Leon groaned. "Oh my fucking god, John."

Daniel's eyes widened, a flush starting at the tips of his ears that quickly spread to his cheeks. "Um," he stammered, blinking under my gaze. "Um... Frank?"

A moment later a second man walked into the reception area. He appeared to be in his mid to late thirties, and sported a gray fedora that made him look surprisingly suave. He gave Daniel a bemused smile, then offered a hand to me. "John Murdoch? I'm Frank Bumstead, I'm the manager here."

Reluctantly I let go of Daniel's hand to accept the handshake. "Nice to meet you, Frank. This is my PR Manager, Leon."

"We spoke on the phone," Leon told him, giving him a warm smile as he shook his hand. "I appreciate your professionalism, Frank."

Despite my teasing, I was always impressed by Leon's ability to charm any and all business partners. "I'm here for my consultation," I announced, just in case it wasn't completely obvious.

"I'll get Larry," Daniel said quickly, and disappeared into the back before I could blink. I couldn't help but think that the shyness made him even more adorable.

"I have the NDAs for you," Frank was telling Leon. "Signed by all of the artists including the owner, and myself, and our two receptionists. I also have our standard waiver for clients of Mr. Murdoch's... stature. If he decides to book today we'll set up an appointment with our legal council to sign before the first session."

"Sounds good," Leon replied. "You okay with that, John?"

"Yeah, okay, sounds good...." My attention had turned completely to the ginger who'd walked into the reception area. He was taller than I expected, a little taller than me, and well built without being bulky, dressed in narrow leg dark jeans and a fitted black t-shirt that clung nicely to his arms. His grin was even more endearing in person, his Irish accent definitely noticeable when he spoke. "John? I'm Larry Byrne, pleased to meet you."

"Pleasure is all mine," I said, quirking an eyebrow as I took his hand, deciding immediately that there was no way this guy didn't play for my team. "You're hotter in real life, too."

"John!" Leon hissed my name through his teeth, but Larry just laughed.

"It's all right," he said to Leon, grinning at me again. "You're a fine bit of stuff yourself, John. Shall we have a chat about your tattoo?"

I liked him immediately, following him to their waiting area, which was a very comfortable nook ringed by low, plush couches and piled with cushions. "Looks like the tent of a maharaja," I remarked, settling beside him.

"Some of the artists call it the sultan's tent," he agreed. He set a sketchbook on his knees but clipping his pencil to the top of it without making any move to take notes. "So. Daniel tells me that you're all about Alice in Wonderland. What do you have in mind?"

I opened the folder Leon had given me and took out the first sheath of drawings. "Well.... I brought a bunch of stuff for you but I don't have a specific design, I want something new and original. I hope it goes without saying but I don't want anything that looks at all like the Disney animation. And - I'm probably being a real pain in the ass by saying this - I like the ideas behind the original illustrations from the novel, and I want it to be kind of reminiscent of them because I think they're what's most recognizable, but I want them to be prettier."

Larry chuckled. "I can do prettier, don't worry. Are there any specific things or scenes from the book you really like over the others?"

I nodded. "I really like the idea of Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole for one of my arms. Her, the white rabbit, his pocket watch, all the random bits and pieces. For the other arm I was thinking about maybe the mad tea party? The Mad Hatter, March Hare, Dormouse, and Alice again. And I know it's not canon for either of those scenes but I really want the cheshire cat to be a prominent feature somewhere. That's me."

Larry nodded as he noted down what I was saying. "DJ Chessure, of course. But I'm hoping you can tell me - why Alice in Wonderland? I mean, obviously it's something that really resonates with you if you've built your whole professional persona around it. What does it mean to you?"

"Escape," I said, smiling, not even having to think to answer it. "I've always wanted my music to transcend the monotony of everyday life. The first time I went to a rave as a teenager it was just..." I made a vague motion in the air with a hand, trying to find the words to describe it. "It was completely surreal, it was like another world completely. It was filled with light and sound and colour and all these amazing people with these crazy awesome outfits and everyone just wanted to share their happiness with everyone else. I wanted to be part of a world like that, I wanted my own Wonderland. And yeah, maybe sometimes Wonderland is weird and crazy and maybe even a bit frightening, but in the end it just leaves you with this sense of something so much bigger and greater than just simply living." I let out a breath and smiled. "No one person can really create Wonderland, not by themselves. But I wanted to draw together people who could, take them in and guide them through it. That's why I'm the Cheshire Cat."

Larry was smiling, nodding slowly. "I get you. It's not just music, it's an experience."

"Exactly!" I agreed, beaming. "You totally get it. I'm so excited."

"It's going to be a hell of a piece of work on you, John," Larry said with an approving smile, finally picking up the pencil to make a few notes. "Just a few more details. Do you want a sexy Alice or a cute Alice?"

My eyebrows knit together. I hadn't really considered Alice's sexiness. "Um... both?"

Larry laughed. "How old do you want her to be? Knockers or no knockers?"

I paused. "Well, I guess Alice is a representation of my fans in a way. So... I think I want her to be a young woman. Yeah, I want sexy. She should have tits."

Definitely Tits, Larry wrote, and underlined it. Then he looked up and gave me a smile. "We'll start with the Chesire Cat and Rabbit hole scene first, if that's alright with you, on your dominant arm. That's your right?"

"Yeah," I replied, nodding. "I like that idea. How soon can we get started?"

He shrugged, taking my file and tucking it inside his sketchbook as he closed it. "Oh, I can finish the design over the weekend. We work on your right arm one week, then start on the Tea Party on your left the next while the right one heals up. Would you be ready to start next week, though?"

"I've been ready to start for months," I told him. "I just haven't been able to stay in one place long enough to do it."

"Alright. Let's go talk to Daniel and see what I've got free."

I followed him back to the reception desk. Daniel, sadly, was rather less flustered than he had been before, though it might have had something to do with the fact that he refused to make eye contact with me. "Would you like to book your appointments, Mr. Murdoch?

"Most definitely," I replied, giving him a warm smile that he stalwartly ignored.

"We'll need an appointment every week," Larry told him. "Do I have anything free?"

Daniel scrolled through the booking calendar on the computer. "If afternoon appointments are all right, then sure. We can have you come in to look at the design Monday, then, and book you for..." he glanced up at Larry. "You've got a three hour slot on Tuesday afternoons from one to four, starting on the ninth?"

I nodded slowly. "That would work really well, actually. There's a chance I'll be out of town touring once a month when I don't have residence shows booked, but I'll have Leon let you know with plenty of notice."

"Think you can sit for three hours?" Larry asked me. "How's your pain tolerance?"

I shrugged. "I broke my ankle falling off my bike when I was a kid and managed to ride three miles back to my parent's house. I think it's okay."

He chuckled. "Okay, book the whole slot then. John, I'm sure this won't be a problem for you, but I have to go over costs. Our standard rate at Desert Rose is a hundred and fifty per hour, payments are cash only. Full sleeves with the kind of detail you want generally take at least twenty-five hours of work per arm. We'll book ten appointments per arm just to make sure we have enough time reserved. Because we're booking weekly appointments the deposit is five hundred dollars. It's non-refundable and comes off the cost of your final appointment, but you can cancel or reschedule an appointment as long as you give us at least seventy-two hours notice, or you can transfer your deposit to another artist if you decide you hate me. Does that work for you?"

I tried to take note of all the details. "Deposit, seventy-two hours notice, cash only." Thankfully they had an ATM on site. "So if I need to change an appointment I get to call your handsome receptionist?"

Daniel had been watching us, but turned back to his computer quickly. "Would you like an appointment schedule?"

I resisted the urge to ask if it came with his phone number. "That'd be great. Thank you."

"One more thing I have to tell you about," Larry said, catching my eye. "It's gonna be a bloody pain in the summer, but you can't go swimming or soak your tattoo for at least two weeks after an appointment. Do your best to keep it out of the sun, too, because it'll bleach your colour out really quick. Think you can handle that?"

I did the math in my head. "No swimming or suntanning for five months? Oh man. Well, good thing I don't DJ pool parties." I grinned. "I'll behave, I promise."

"Good man." Larry clapped my shoulder. "Well then, John. I'll let Daniel take care of your deposit and I'll see you next week."

By the time I'd pulled cash out of the ATM, Daniel had four business-card sized appointment lists written out, the dates on the front and back of each card in clean, tidy handwriting. He took the cash and printed off a receipt before handing over the cards, glancing up at me a little shyly. "I - I just wanted to tell you that really enjoy your work, Mr. Murdoch."

"Really?" I found myself smiling, grasping the cards without taking them from his hand. "Do you have a favorite?"

He hesitated for a moment. "Well, I think 'Gentleman in White Paper' is definitely the most clever, because I've always felt very strongly about the speech you sampled from Chaplin's 'The Great Dictator'."

"I haven't played that one live for a while," I mused, watching him. "But that's not your favorite, is it."

A slight flush spread across Daniel's cheeks. "The bass drop in Jabberwock is incredible."

I grinned. "There's nothing wrong with liking a crowd pleaser, I'm glad you do. And also, god, please call me John, Mr. Murdoch is my dad and I am definitely not dad aged yet."

"Certainly," he replied, returning my smile. "I'm sorry, I wasn't quite sure what was appropriate."

"Well, my friends call me John," I replied, wishing I could stay the afternoon and charm him into my bed. "I'm always happy to meet people who like my work. Have you seen me spin in Wonderland yet?"

Daniel shook his head. "I do visual effects for Ka at MGM until midnight, so it's a bit difficult to get into clubs." He stopped as a second blond appeared from the back who looked startlingly like a bulkier version of Daniel. He gave us a nod as he passed, going to meet in the tent area with a client who'd come in while I was booking.

"My twin, Ben. One of the artists here," Daniel explained, following my gaze.

I immediately bit my tongue on a hundred inappropriate comments about twins and threesomes. Daniel was still the more attractive of the two, I thought, and for the most part I liked my partners smaller than me. I smiled. "Well, if you ever want to come by after work I'll get you in VIP. No cover. Bring whoever you want, whenever you want. Here...." I pulled one of my business cards from my wallet, writing _'VIP by order of The Cat_ ' on the back in big letters and signing it with my name and phone number. "Hang onto this, you can use it to get in whenever you want. Bring friends, bring Larry, hell, bring the whole shop. Though if it's going to be more than seven or eight people then text me ahead of time so I can actually put you on the guest list."

Daniel looked more than a little dazed as he stared back at me, eyes wide behind those adorable wire-rimmed glasses and pretty lips parted slightly. "I - thank you." He gave a soft, breathless laugh, taking the card from me. "It's really kind of you."

I grinned and shrugged, strangely at a loss for words. "Well, um. I'll see you soon then. Take care."

"Have a good day, Mr - John."

Leon had been waiting by the stairs for me, and he gave a soft laugh as I joined him, shaking his head.

"What?" I said as I followed him downstairs and outside.

"VIP access? I've never seen you try so hard to impress someone."

"He's cute," I said defensively. "The club always needs more cute men. And he was the one that hooked me up with Larry, so he earned it."

"If you say so," Leon replied, unlocking his car and getting in.

Settling into the passenger seat of Leon's car, I took out my iPhone and opened up twitter, chuckling to myself as I posted. _'Getting tattooed, bitches!'_

Leon glanced over. "Please tell me you didn't just tweet about your appointment."

I put on the best innocent smile I could manage. "Of course I didn't."

"You haven't even seen the design yet!"

"So? I know it's going to be awesome. Plus, it's not like I posted any details."

Leon sighed. "I hate you."

~~~

 

I couldn't help but be excited about getting the work done, and I was probably a pain in the ass to everyone around me the entire weekend. After seeing me twice in two days Anna started to have urgent reasons to be out during the day, and was already in bed when I got home at night. Leon finally threatened to muzzle me if I said the word tattoo again.

"You can still get out of this if you change your mind, you know," Leon said as we made our way back to the shop on Monday. "Just make sure you like the design, okay? You're going to be stuck with it."

"I know. Don't worry. I know what I'm getting myself into. Why else would I be so excited about a whole summer of no swimming pools?"

I hadn't seen Daniel at the club at all over the weekend, or heard about my card being used, but I wasn't surprised. I'd expected to have to spend a bit more time charming this quiet cutie to coax him into my world. He smiled shyly as I approached the reception desk. "Good afternoon, John. I'll tell Larry you're here. Please make yourself comfortable." 

I only checked out his ass for a few seconds as he disappeared into the back. 

"I'm going to go see Frank about the waiver," Leon told me before following him. Then I started studying the dozens of pieces of artwork adorning the walls, too restless to sit and wait.

"Hey John." Larry had a few half folded pieces of tracing paper in one hand, and it was hard for me not to try and take a peek.

"Hey! Is that my tattoo?'

"One arm, yes. If you like it," he replied, heading to the tent. "Come tell me what you think."

He spread out the two pieces, one linking to the other, and for a long moment all I could do was stare at the lines and shading in wonder.

The Cheshire Cat sat at the top of the drawing on the edge of the rabbit hole, regal and sleek without looking scrawny, grinning wide. He was drawn as the perfect mix between Tim Burton's cuddly Cheshire and the American McGee's mangy mastermind. His tail curled down to hook around the horn of a gramophone that was tumbling down the rabbit hole after Alice.

Alice herself, like the white rabbit and all the objects falling down the rabbit hole, was drawn in a perspective just shy of extreme that made it look almost like she was falling out of the page, tumbling head over heels, one hand reaching to catch the white rabbit's fallen pocket watch. Her tits were perky, and she looked safely legal and good looking without being an overwhelming sexpot. The expression on her face sold me the most, though - somehow he'd managed to capture a wide-eyed eagerness and wonder, and I loved it. Alice would never be truly afraid in my Wonderland. "She'll go mostly on the top of your forearm," Larry told me, "So her hand and the watch will be on your wrist and look even bigger. The rabbit will start on your tricep and come down over your elbow, but I tried not to have too much overlap to avoid distortion when you bend your arm."

I nodded slowly, finally finding my voice. "Dude, this is... wow. I never pictured it looking even half this awesome, you're so - how do you do this?"

"Just a wee bit of practice." Larry said modestly, though he was grinning. "I took a couple of liberties with it - I thought the gramophone was a good idea, it'll mostly end up on the inside of your arm. And I put a set of turntables in here, in the background. I can change either one of them but I thought it might be appropriate on you to have some representations of your musical success."

The turntables were subtle, but noticeable, and the gramophone was gorgeous. "No, it's great. I love it. I'm blown away."

"If there's anything you want to change or add...."

I let my eyes move over the drawing again, shaking my head slowly. "No, I think this'll do. Let's do it."

"Great. If you think of anything overnight we can make last minute changes tomorrow, okay? Now, I just check the size and placement before you go. I'll need you to take off your shirt. Do you want to come into the back?"

"Here is fine," I said, standing up and stripping down, giving in the urge to glance over to see if Daniel was at the desk. He wasn't, so I grinned at Larry instead. "Not even my first appointment and you're already getting me to take my clothes off."

Larry laughed, smoothing the paper around my arm. "Are you this shameless with all the boys?"

"Only the cute ones," I replied, and smirked. "Speaking of which..." I glanced back again to make sure Daniel hadn't returned yet. "Is the little blond cutie...?" I let my voice trail off and quirked an eyebrow.

Larry mirrored my raised eyebrow, amused. "Is he what? Gay? Single? Interested?"

"All of the above?" I gave him a hopeful smile.

"Most likely, I'm not completely sure, and you'll have to ask him." Larry replied, returning my smirk. "You made him a hundred dollars last time you were here, by the way." 

I gave him a questioning look. "Booking bonus?"

"Betting pool. We've got clients at almost every club on the strip, there was a bet for who could get an in with someone at Wonderland first. He didn't even know about it."

"Sweet." I thought for a moment. "Hey, I'll give you guys a two hundred dollar bar tab if you actually come down."

"Wow, thanks. I'll keep it in mind. Clearly I need to tattoo DJs more often." Larry flashed me a grin. "Here, I have one more thing to show you. Do you know what anamorphosis is?"

The word sounded familiar. "That's where you give human qualities like personalities to like, animals or inanimate objects, right?"

"I - oh. No." Larry gave a soft laugh. "You're thinking anthropomorphism, though that's a very Wonderland answer." He moved to stand in front of me, catching my wrist and pulling it up so my arm was almost straight out in front of me, palm facing inwards. He wrapped the bottom half of the drawing around my arm, adjusting it a bit. "Can you put one of your fingers just right there to hold this for me, please?"

"Sure." I only half paid attention to what he was doing, admiring Alice and silently approving of how she'd be positioned on my skin. He'd wrapped the top piece around my arm as well, standing half behind me and adjusting it more.

"Close one eye and look down the inside of your arm," he told me, pulling my attention back as I did as he asked.

With my depth perception removed, the patterns of light and shadow in the rock tunnel and tree roots down the length of the rabbit hole easily transformed and aligned, appearing as spidery, uneven words. ' _We're all mad here._ '

All I could do was stare in amazement. "That is the coolest fucking thing EVER. You're amazing. Holy fuck."

I hadn't thought the guy could grin any wider, but he proved me wrong."So I should leave it like that?"

"Hell yes. Can I Instagram it?"

"No," came the resounding answer from behind me, and I turned to find Leon, arms folded and face a perfect mask of stern.

I motioned to the drawing. "Isn't it awesome?"

"Yeah, it's really cool, actually," he admitted, a little grudgingly. "But you still can't tweet about it until I say so and you definitely can't post photos."

"Oh come on, Leon...."

"Maybe after tomorrow. If you behave."

I glanced to Larry and gave an exaggerated eye roll. "Okay, fine. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early," he replied, disappearing into the back.

I caught Daniel's eye on my way out, giving him a wink, then followed Leon to the car. "You believe me now that this is a good idea?"

"We haven't even started yet," Leon reminded me dryly.

"So? I've got an awesome design and a shop full of hot guys. What can go wrong?"

~~~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Larry Byrne**

 

I wasn't quite sure what to expect of John Murdoch. Cherry was completely star struck, as was Daniel, though I could tell he was trying very hard not to show it. I'd asked Ben how he felt about tattooing celebrities, but he'd just shrugged. "People are people. He'll either be nice or a douchebag. Just treat him like everyone else."

The only problem was that "everyone else" wasn't a pretty, green-eyed flirt. _That_ was what I wasn't quite sure how to handle.

If I'd been back home, it would have been easy. At home I would have been blowing the guy probably before his first appointment. But I wasn't here to be a whore, I had to keep reminding myself. 

Still as the weeks went on it began to seem like a more and more appealing idea. It would be an easy hook-up, and it had been years since I'd gone more than a week without sex. Which was, I was sure, the only reason why I kept having dirty thoughts about my unfortunately straight housemate. Between work and living with Ben, I just really hadn't had a chance to look into the gay scene in Las Vegas, and it was easy to be lazy and rationalize why I wasn't going out. But It most definitely had nothing to do with Ben. Things had felt strained between us since the night he'd kissed me, and while neither of us had actually brought it up I knew entertaining notions of romance would only make things worse.

It was near the end of John's third appointment before he finally managed to talk us into coming to Wonderland. It had been spawned by a discussion on May's dress, a cute little red and white polkadot vintage number with puffed sleeves and full skirts.

"We're doing a retro night at Wonderland on Saturday," he said. "Actual retro, like, Vintage Pin-up Rockabilly retro. Not this ridiculous neon 80's club wear the kids are calling retro. That's why I'm letting my sideburns grow a bit. You'd be perfect, you should come. All of you should come."

"We have been meaning to come to Wonderland," May mused, trying to play it cool despite the hint of excitement in her voice. "Daniel's just been busy, and he has your card."

"I'll give you another before I go," he said, making a dismissive motion with the arm that wasn't being tattooed. "And I already told Larry about the two hundred dollar bar tab. Come."

Ben glanced over from where he was working on an elaborate asian back piece of gold and blue koi and lilies. "That's a hell of a tip, John."

"It's my discretional VIP bar tab," he replied, and grinned. "God knows I hardly ever use it. Besides, my sister's coming and I want her to hang out people I actually somewhat know. She hasn't been in Vegas long, either."

"I'm sure we could stop by after work for a bit," I said, dipping the needle of my tattoo gun in the tiny pot of purple ink. We'd managed to finish all the linework on the rabbit hole and shaded the Cheshire Cat, but rather than going on to shade more of the design he'd asked for a little bit of colour on the Chesire. The cat now had bright, emerald green eyes, and the stripes on its body graduated from bright aqua to purple. "Like a peacock," he'd said. I'd liked the idea immediately.

"I'd be completely up for it," Cherry agreed from where she was cleaning up after her previous client.

"And we're supposed to dress Rockabilly?" Ben asked, not looking up from his work.

"Oh, for guys it's super easy," John told him. "fitted dark jeans and a white t-shirt. Slick back your hair if you want. You've all got the tattoos already, you'll look great."

"I think I could handle that," Ben had replied. 

I was glad we decided to go. We took some time to get ready on Saturday after work; May had brought a curling iron and a change of clothes to work and came home to our place, where Ben mixed a jug of something tropical and a large amount of vodka to start the festivities early. I acceded the bathroom to May, grabbing product and taking it in to use the vanity mirror in my room. It had been a while since I'd done it, but I managed to get my hair gelled up and curled over into a reasonable attempt a of a pomp. My ass-hugging black jeans and a white T-shirt made it look surprisingly rockabilly.

"You look really hot," came a soft, low remark from my doorway. I turned, and found myself too distracted by admiring Ben to reply for a moment. He was wearing a tight-fitting v-neck white shirt over his jeans, and had pulled on a black leather jacket. His hair was too short to do much to other than gel neatly in place, but god, he looked good.

I wanted to fuck him so bad.

I'd tried my best to not act any differently towards Ben than I had before he'd kissed me, but it felt almost like we were both being too careful around each other. Still, as time slowly went on Ben began to relax more around me, and after a couple of weeks it finally began to feel like things had been before he'd kissed me, like we could be at ease around each other and talk openly without worry. Still, sometimes I'd catch him watching me when he thought I wasn't paying attention, and in the moment before he'd look away I'd see an undeniable longing. Like now.

I gave him a wide grin, trying to act casual. "Looking pretty good yourself, handsome. Love the jacket."

Ben smiled, adjusting the collar. "It's nice, right? It was a birthday present from Amy a couple of years ago, but I don't get a lot of occasions when the weather's cool enough to to wear it out. Even tonight I might have to check it." He stepped close to me, reaching to fold up one sleeve of my t-shirt, the scent of his cologne warm and masculine and a bit spicy without being too cloying, and suddenly I was very glad my jeans were as tight as they were. "You should roll these up," he said softly, fingers brushing my skin as he finished rolling my first sleeve. Moving to the second, he looked up to meet my gaze through a thick fringe of blond eyelashes. I couldn't help but feel there was something in his eyes, some kind of yearning and intensity that made my heart pound fast.

I felt my breath catch in my throat and swallowed hard, my voice coming out far huskier than I wanted it to. "Ben...."

He stopped, not moving his hands from my shoulder, and wet his lips."Yeah?"

"I..." I stopped. I what? I wanted to crush him to me and kiss him until this uncertainty of desire calmed. But how would it make things any better between us?

"You guys almost ready to go?" May's voice from the other room startled me, and I breathed a sigh of relief, flashing Ben a grin before heading out.

May was wearing a little white halter dress and a full petticoat underneath it, her blond hair in fat curls and pinned up so it looked shorter than I was used to seeing on her. She'd done very dramatic dark eye makeup and shiny red lips, a beauty mark penciled on her cheek. I nodded my approval. "Why hello, Miss Monroe."

May laughed and spun around, skirts and petticoats swirling around her thighs. The black seams at the back of her stockings were admirably straight, and the stockings showed off well the beautiful floral pieces adorning her calves. "You don't think it's too pretentious of me?"

"You're definitely sexy enough," I assured her, glancing to Ben. "You want to head out?"

He nodded. "I'll call a cab."

Ben was quiet on the way there, and as we made our way through the casino, standing away from the nightclub lineup as we waited for Cherry and Morgan. I glanced to Ben. "Is Daniel coming?"

"He better," May replied, frowning. "I texted him and he said he'd come down when he got off work. I can't imagine seeing Chessure live without Daniel."

"You go to a lot of shows together?" I asked, and she grinned.

"Daniel and I have been BRFFs since - well, forever. 

"B... RFFs?"

May giggled. "Best raver friends forever, of course. God, we saw Tiesto so many times when he was in residence here that I can't even count. Deadmau5, Calvin Harris, Porter Robinson, Afrojack... and we never miss Electric Daisy Carnival when it's anywhere close to us."

"Meanwhile, I was at punk rock shows," Ben explained, chuckling. His cell phone rang, and a concerned expression crossed his face as he glanced at the display before picking it up. "Hey baby, how are you doing?" His countenance softened a little as he listened, and he held up a hand to us in apology before heading down the hall to tuck himself into a nook in the wall to talk.

I watched him go, feeling a my stomach clench uncomfortably. It was stupid, though. Stupid that I was letting myself be effected at all by him, stupid that I was even thinking about him when he had a girlfriend.

"I don't know how he does the long distance thing," May remarked, shaking her head as she watched him leave.

I turned to her. "I thought Amy lived in Vegas. Isn't she coming home?"

She looked up at me in surprise. "He hasn't told you about her?"

I shook my head.

"Amy's a former gymnast for team USA. Now she does an aerial silks act for one of Cirque du Soleil's touring shows. So she lives in Vegas, but she's hardly ever here. They told her that if she toured for two years they'd try and get her a spot in one of the permanent shows here."

"Wow." I tried to imagine what it would be like. "I don't think I could do it."

May gave a little shrug. "They've been together on and off again since high school. I don't think he knows how to date anyone else."

"Oh my god, May, you're gorgeous!!" I heard Cherry's squeal behind us, but when I turned I hardly recognized her. She must have been wearing a wig, long and black with thick square cut bangs like Bettie Page, her normal glasses absent. Her dress was black and had leopard print panels in the skirt and over her bust. "You make the most beautiful Marilyn, honey!"

"Your Bettie is perfect, too!" May gushed, and Morgan caught my eye with an amused smile.

"You wanna go in?"

I nodded, turning. "I'll grab Ben."

Ben looked up as I approached, giving me an apologetic smile. "Just a moment, baby," he said to the phone, then put it against his shoulder to look up at me. "I'm sorry, Lar. I have to take care of this, it might take a bit. Go in without me?"

"Sure. Everything okay?"

He gave a little shrug and rolled his eyes. "I'll text you."

"He'll catch up," I told the others. "Let's go in."

The door man checked John's card quietly, handing it back without even carding us. "Take it to the girl inside, you'll need blue wristbands. Have a good night."

The wristband girl was fully decked in pin-up garb, the same as a good portion of the people I could see inside. A lot of guys had resorted to the easy combination of white t-shirt and pomp, but I didn't mind the competition. May and Cherry were faintly vibrating from excitement as we got our wristbands and were directed to a roped-off pathway that ran along the side of the club to a raised VIP area behind the DJ booth.

"This used to be a Hawaiian themed restaurant," May leaned close to tell me, smile wide as she looked around. "It's kinda cool how they've used the decore!"

It still looked like we were in some kind of a magical forest, though here and there through the bright lights fog I could see the Alice in Wonderland references that had been added - giant mushrooms and flowers, a pair of flamingo croquet mallets attached to one wall, a giant pocket watch on the other.

I looked towards the DJ booth as we got closer, where John was spinning, doing something to the turntables to cause the song to skip and distort, and while I knew next to nothing about DJing it sounded pretty cool, and the crowd went wild. John's dark curls had been tamed into a pretty good looking pompador, and he was wearing nothing but dark jeans and a pair of suspenders, looking incredibly sexy on stage. The beginnings of the work I'd done on his arms looked pretty good even hardly finished, and I was satisfied to see the colours and shading on the Cheshire were still evident even in the darkened lights of the club. I made a mental note to take that into account as I began to shade the rest, though my work was generally high-contrast as a rule.

The VIP area ended up being directly behind the DJ booth, though two dance cages on raised platforms on either end of the area provided a bit of a barrier to keep back the crowd of dancers. The cages were made out of twisting vines and brightly coloured blooms lit by LED lights, and I couldn't tell if the girls dancing inside in frilly pin-up dresses were hired dancers or just extra pretty members of the audience.

John noticed our arrival as we climbed the stairs to go past his booth to the VIP area, and he caught my gaze, giving me a grin and a nod. He stepped away from his tables briefly to speak to one of the girls in the cages, a pretty, curvy little brunette in a purple satin swing dress and a wide white belt. She glanced to us and nodded, and as John returned to spinning she slipped out of the cage as and made her way easily through the crowd to us.

"I'm Anna, I'm John's sister," she said as she reached me, leaning close and speaking up to be heard over the music. "He's happy you're here!"

"I'm Larry, good to meet you," I said, turning to the others behind me. "This is Morgan, Bettie Page is Cherry, and our Marilyn is May."

Anna's eyes went wide, and she made the same strange little flaily motion with her hands that I'd seen her brother make when he was excited. "Oh my god, I _love_ Marilyn Monroe! You look so - you guys are awesome!! Where'd you get your dresses?"

The volume of the music lowered a bit, and I could hear John's voice over it, falling into an easy rhythm of speech which complimented the music. "You are amazing, my pin-up girls and boys. I've never seen a sexier crowd!" I could hear him thanking the sponsor, introducing the next song as a mix by a friend that we could all rockabilly out to, suddenly I found myself listening to a very upbeat mix of 'These Boots Are Made for Walking', of all things.

"He doesn't usually play this," Anna told us, and laughed, starting towards the bar. "He just likes a bit of funk every once and awhile to keep people on their toes!"

I let Anna take us to the VIP bar and get drinks, then take us into the crowd of dancers, sipping a double and watching John spin.

"I know you all know the words to this, I wanna hear you sing - " John was saying, and. laughing, I even joined in with the roar of voices around me.

"One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!"

The boots mixed into a heavier, bassier song of John's which I recognized from the radio, suddenly understanding how it was meant to be heard. It was easy to lose myself to dancing and the atmosphere around me, letting another drink warm and relax me, trying not to think about anything other than enjoying the music and the beat.

Wonderland was an experience that was difficult to describe. I was familiar with some of John's music, the more popular tracks that got radio play and a few others I'd looked up on my own since I started work on his sleeves. I'd always thought it was solid electronic music, cohesive mixes, interesting use of vocals, good beats and catchy tunes. Hearing it in a club setting, though, was completely different, and suddenly I began to understand how people could be so fanatical about it.

To start, the sound system was fantastic. I could feel the bass reverberating through me, but it didn't overpower the music, I still felt like I could hear everything perfectly, hear the music wrap around me. The energy and excitement around me was almost tangible, an almost electric feeling, like everyone around me - whether it was the bright coloured raver kids in their fur hoods and glow sticks or the curious tourists in regular club wear - was united in a mutual desire to just have the happiest, most intense experience possible.

Still, no text messages had buzzed through on the cell phone in my hip pocket, and it was hard to stop thinking about it. I was trying very hard not to think too much about it, but I'd assumed Ben would be here, and it was a little disappointing. It had to be a hell of a phone call, I found myself thinking. Or maybe, despite the fact I'd rarely seen her call, he and Amy were closer than I'd thought. I just needed to accept that.

When my phone finally buzzed, it was an unfamiliar number, and not Ben at all. I could hear John on the loudspeaker again, telling us he'd be back soon and to enjoy some pre-mixed tracks. Then he slipped through the crowd, away from us, and was gone.

 _'It's John, I'm taking a break,'_ the text said when I opened it. _'Meet me backstage. Door on the right by the flamingos. Just you.'_

The invitation seemed fairly obvious, and I only had to consider it for a moment. It'd been almost a month, I'd behaved for long enough. This was definitely worth checking out. "Gotta piss, be back soon," I said to Morgan, slipping through the crowd.

I found the door John had referenced easily, partly because Leon was standing there. He smirked up at me before motioning me through the door and into the hall behind the club. "Door on the right. Don't keep him too long, the filler mix is only half an hour. And I hope it goes without saying, but don't even think about going to the tabloids. We'll deny everything."

"Ah - okay," I stammered, feeling my cock twitch with interest despite myself. Maybe this was actually going to happen. And maybe it wasn't a bad thing. I liked the guy well enough, and he was definitely fine, and fuck it, I needed to get some action this side of the ocean.

I slipped into the room, which turned out to be very reminiscent of an old fashioned dressing room, though it had been made over a couple of times. John had flopped down to lounge on a low, comfortable looking velvet couch. He had a drink in his hand, and the dark, slow smile he gave me made me think, not unpleasantly, of a large predatory animal sizing up its prey.

"Come sit," he said, nodding to the other half of the couch. "What do you think so far?"

"It's good," I said, doing as he asked without taking my eyes off him. "Way better than any club back in Dublin. There's an art to it live that I hadn't expected."

He seemed very pleased by this, turning into me and leaning closer, pressing his drink into my hand. "Whiskey?"

I took it from him, taking a sip and not resisting as he leaned in to nuzzle along my jaw. "You going to get me drunk and take advantage of me now?" I asked breathlessly, smoothing my free hand over his shoulder.

John chuckled, breath warm against my skin as his lips trailed kisses to nip on my earlobe. He stroked a hand over the cotton of my shirt, giving a low, appreciative hum. "I wasn't aware that wanting to suck you off was taking advantage of you."

I was already half-hard just talking about it. "It is if you don't let me reciprocate," I returned, leaning past him to set the drink aside, then pulling him into a warm kiss.

John groaned against my mouth, taking control immediately, kisses hard and hot and hungry. He tasted of whiskey as he licked into my mouth, hands stroking hungrily over my chest, pulling my shirt out of my jeans. "God, you're sexy. Your mouth...."

I chuckled against his lips, tugging him closer until we were half stretched out along the couch, kisses growing more passionate and more frantic at once. John felt good between my thighs, hips rocking against me, a fabulously hard cock pressed against mine through his jeans. I was just as hard, loving the clandestine nature of this, loving being pinned under him and ravished by his kisses. I stroked my hands down his bare back to grab his ass, encouraging him, rocking up against him, craving more sensation. "Spinning always make you this hard?"

"Only when I'm thinking about blowing you," he said breathlessly, nipping at my bottom lip. "Been thinking about it since you started working on my arms." Smirking, he slid down my body, kneeling on the floor in front of the couch and kissing my stomach through my shirt as he yanked open my jeans. "You okay with latex?"

"Hm?" I pulled my attention away from the sight of him nuzzling my cock. "Oh. Yeah. Thanks."

John chuckled, pulling two condoms - unlubricated, thank god - out of his back pocket and tossing one on the other end of the couch. "Good, 'cause I'm far too much of a whore to get away with going without." He gave me a smirk, and then the condom was open and over the head of my cock, his green eyes holding my gaze as his lips parted on the tip, rolling the latex down my shaft as he took me to the hilt.

"Jesus Christ," I gasped, just barely resisting the urge to thrust up into his mouth, closing my eyes to the heat of his mouth, his throat tight around me. One hand wrapped around the base of my cock when he pulled away a moment later, stroking slowly up and down my shaft as he lavished attention on the head.

"Love giving head," he murmured against my skin, and I couldn't deny he was obviously quite practiced at this, lips and tongue moving against me in all the right ways. "Love how thick you are, make me so hard, fuck...." Groaning, he took me in his mouth again, drawing hungrily on me as he bobbed on my dick, hands moving to tug more on my jeans. I arched my hips up gladly, helping him tug them down enough that he could cup my balls in one hand, stroking and fondling as he swallowed me deep into his throat again.

"Fuck, you're good," I gasped, one hand moving to tangle in his hair, exerting just a little control. It encouraged him a lot more than I'd expected, and he whimpered around my cock, sucking me down more desperately. "Jesus Christ, John, suck me. God...."

"You can fuck my mouth if you want," he gasped as he pulled away, not hesitating before taking me again, and I gave an appreciative groan, fingers tightening in his hair.

"Yeah? That's what you want me to do?" I let myself rock up into his mouth, applying pressure to the back of his neck, impressed when he took my thrust easily, swallowing around me as I thrust into his throat. I bit my lip on a groan, doing it again, setting a pace of smooth, slow thrusts. "Fuck, you are good at this, aren't you? Secretly love going down on your knees and having your mouth fucked, don't you?"

His helpless groan of agreement thrummed through my cock, and his hand moved from my sack to yank at his own trousers. I wished I could watch him, see his fingers wrapped around his cock, jerking himself helplessly as I fucked his mouth. The thought of it was enough of a turn on already.

"You're so filthy," I breathed, picking up the pace as he started to fight against my control to try and take more. "That's it, take it. Makes you so hard to have a huge dick in your mouth, doesn't it? You love having your mouth fucked like a little tart. Christ, John, feels so good...!" I tried to catch my breath, tried to keep talking through the fast, hard build of pleasure. "Oh god, gonna make me come down your throat, come so hard in your hot little mouth - "

"Mmm - !" his muffled moan was almost pleading, only encouraging me more. 

A few more thrusts was all I needed to reach climax, crying out breathlessly and burying myself deep in his throat as waves of pleasure rocked through me. "Jesus Christ, John - ! God...."

I let go of his hair, and John pulled away, leaning his head against my thigh and gasping for breath. He was still working his cock almost helplessly, and I pulled together enough self control to push him back, grabbing the second condom off the couch as I slipped to the floor to kneel between his thighs. I pushed his hand away from his very nice cock, which was flushed and beautifully hard and slick from arousal. "Mine."

He whimpered, but didn't fight me. "Fuck, Larry, I'm so close...."

"Then I'll finish you off," I said, and smirked, tearing the condom open and deftly rolling it down his shaft. Then I covered him with my mouth, wanting very much to show him he wasn't the only one who could suck cock like a pro, cheeks hollowed as I drew back. The latex, surprisingly, was minty, and it was easy to lose myself to the pleasure of blowing him, taking him deep in my throat with practiced ease.

"Fuck - !" John gave a helpless whimper as his hips jerked up into my mouth, hands clenching in my hair. "Oh god, Larry - please - !"

I wished I could taste him, but it was still good, losing myself to his desire, working with the little helpless thrusts of his hips to take him again and again. John cried out, harsh and throaty he bucked deep in my throat, and I felt him pulse in my mouth, felt his shudders of pleasure as he reached completion.

I sucked him gently through climax before drawing away, catching my breath and resting on my heels, pulling the condom from my softening cock and knotting it off. "Well, that was fun. Didn't expect your invitation would include hot sexytimes."

John laughed breathlessly, not making an effort to get up yet. "It would be a waste of a dressing room not to bring hot guys here for sex," he said, a smirk playing about his lips. "I don't date, but if you ever want to do this again I'd be up for it. You have my number now."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied, grinning and leaning over him again to press a warm, slow kiss to his mouth, which he returned with an appreciative hum. "I should get back before my absence is too suspicious."

"Check your pomp in the bathroom before you do," he advised, chuckling against my mouth, hands slipping down to give my ass a brief grope before letting me go.

Thankfully my appearance wasn't too disheveled; nothing I couldn't fix in front of the mirror. I grabbed another drink on my way, finding that Ben and Daniel had both finally joined the group, having drinks with the others.

"Where were you?" Ben asked as I reached them, and I tried to push away the sudden surge of guilt, annoyed at myself for it.

"Just checking the place out," I returned, grinning. "It's pretty wild."

"It is actually pretty neat here," he agreed, clinking his glass to mine. "Cheers."

I wasn't too surprised when John showed up a few moments later, moving through the crowd in the VIP area, greeting and talking to people before reaching us. He looped his arms around Anna and May's shoulders, squeezing them both. "Thanks for coming out, guys, I'm glad you could make it."

"Thanks for the hook-up," I replied, motioning to the club and realizing, a little too late, the innuendo in my words.

I hoped John's smirk wasn't too obviously for me. "My pleasure."

"It's a pretty sick set so far," Morgan told him, and John's grin widened.

"Yeah? Well, now that I have all this hot inspiration here it'll only get better. Anna, let me know if you run out of bar tab. Make sure they have a good time. I'll catch you guys again if you're still here later," he said, starting towards the DJ booth. He paused briefly as he passed Daniel, admiring the tight-fitting black short-sleeved button down he was wearing over red skinny jeans. He said something that I couldn't catch, but I saw the way Daniel blushed and stammered in reply, returning his smile shyly.

"He's kind of a player, isn't he," Ben remarked, leaning close to me. "I'm not sure how I feel about him."

You don't know the half of it, I wanted to say. "I think he's harmless enough. Your brother can handle himself."

"He's seeing someone," Ben said, and frowned, though it was the first I'd heard of it. "Oh well. You're right, he's a big boy."

"Yeah," I agreed, and though I was still fairly certain John was harmless, it occurred to me that having him around might end up being more trouble than I'd anticipated.

~~~~

Ben and I slept late the next day and spent a mostly lazy day at home, working on designs and watching TV. Still, he seemed even more subdued than normal, and he'd gone back to being a little more careful around me than I really wanted him to be. I couldn't help but think about that brief moment in my room where he'd looked like he very much just wanted to kiss me again, and I worried it might be the cause of his sadness.

I finally brought it up after dinner, after cleaning up the dishes, as we worked on finishing a bottle of wine. "Things aren't okay between us, are they?" I said, setting my empty wine glass aside.

Ben looked away immediately. "What's not okay? Everything's fine." He stepped past me, taking the wine bottle and starting to pour himself more. "You want more wine?

"I'm good, thanks." I watched him cork the bottle, chewing on my bottom lip. "Look... maybe it's a mistake to bring this up, I just - I feel like we've both been trying so hard to ignore it - "

"Then don't," Ben words were soft as he glanced up at me, his look almost pleading as he took a sip of his wine. "Please, Lar."

"But I feel like my being here is making you miserable." The words tumbled from my lips before I could stop myself, as if the decision to speak had broken the dam of my common sense. "I don't want that, Ben. I really like you, you're a great co-worker and a great friend and I'm afraid if I stay here much longer...."

"I don't want you to leave," Ben said softly, turning away from me and walking to the sitting room, still not looking at me. "I like you being here and I like working with you and spending time with you and I like being your friend. Everything's fine, all right?"

I followed him, settling beside him on the couch, turned towards him so my knee just brushed the outside of his. "I know it's not," I said softly. "Look, Ben, we can still be friends and spend time together if I don't live here. I just - I just don't want to make you sad anymore."

Ben gave a small, helpless laugh, draining his wine glass and setting it aside on the coffee table. Then he turned to me, saying nothing as he drew me close, nestling his face into my neck.

It felt agonizingly good, and I let myself return the embrace, pressing my face to his hair. "... Ben?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured, fingers stroking restlessly over my back. "God, Lar...."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about," I replied, heart pounding painfully in my chest. Something told me I needed to stop this conversation immediately, that this was just going to end in trouble, but despite the guilt and dread and nervousness I couldn't bring myself to let him go. Maybe it had actually been me who had been miserable all along.

Ben sighed softly into my neck, his breath warm against my skin. "You're right," he murmured, "Things aren't okay. I just... I can't stop thinking about kissing you."

His words shuddered through me, leaving me feeling like I could hardly breathe. "Me too," I said before I could stop myself, arms tightening around him.

Ben gave a soft, helpless moan. "You weren't supposed to say that," he choked, and his breath shaky against my skin. I felt him draw back; one hand moved to cup the other side of my face, warm and strong against my cheek. I felt the stubble roughness of his skin brushing against my own, and then the warm, soft press of his lips to my jaw, moving, trembling just a little, finally claiming my own.

I couldn't think, couldn't do anything but return his kisses hungrily, caught up in a whirlwind surge of emotion: need and desire and the dreaded certainty that this was a very, very bad idea. I couldn't stop, though, pulling him closer, needing to taste him, feel him, sucking on his full lips and tongue. Ben shifted closer, almost half in my lap, taking charge again in a way that made my knees go weak, his fingers tangled in my hair as he tried to devour my mouth with kisses.

"Oh god, Lar..." I didn't resist as he pushed me back along the couch, lost in the build of desire, in the press of his body against mine. I was quickly, achingly hard, as hard as I'd been the first time he'd pushed me up against the wall and kissed me, but this time felt so much better. Maybe it had been the weeks of uncertainty, of anticipation and desire that I'd been trying so hard to push aside and ignore.

"I don't know why you make me so hot," he breathed as he kissed along my jaw, rolling his hips against mine slowly, pressed hard against me through his jeans.

I let my head fall back to his kisses, giving a soft, breathless laugh. "Please tell me you've done this before."

"What?" Ben drew away, then gave a soft laugh. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, fuck, I'm not some virgin, I've been with men before." He pressed closer, eyes falling closed as he leaned in to kiss me again: slower, lingering, his voice husky. "Just no-one like you...."

I couldn't help but moan as I returned his kiss, hating the ache in my heart that just made me want to be closer to him. "I'm sorry," Ben murmured between kisses, still rocking against me slowly. "I know this isn't fair to you, I just... I just need to be with you. If you want me to stop I will."

"Don't stop," I managed to murmur, and kissed him again. It was a bad idea, such a bad idea. But fuck if I didn't want it anyway.

Maybe it would be better if I just stopped thinking and went with it.

Ben seemed almost fixated on my mouth, pressing slow, warm kisses to my lips that were almost chaste, then sucking my bottom lip between his own with a low groan, nipping at it before finally delving deeper. It was good to yield to his passion, let him claim my mouth, all wine sweet and desperation. I let myself indulge in the feel of him against me, stroking my hands down his sides and feeling his body, firm and toned beneath the thin cotton. Exactly the kind of man who made me weak in the knees.... 

I slid my hands up under his shirt, craving the feel of his skin. "Take this off for me, handsome."

Ben pulled away, eyes dark as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. I watched hungrily as inked skin was revealed. I was familiar with the work on his arms by now, a combination of older, blackwork pieces which had been tied together into cohesive and colourful sleeves by some talented artist. It had felt too intimate to ask to see more. Ben was very nicely ripped, but he was so dedicated to going to the gym that it wasn't a surprise. The ink was what really impressed me, and I let my fingers trail up the twisting trunk of the cherry tree that ran up the right side of his torso, branches and delicate pink blossoms extending onto his chest. I couldn't imagine anyone being sexier. "You're bloody gorgeous."

Smiling, Ben glanced down, surprisingly bashful. "Thank you." He bent to slide my own shirt up, nuzzling my stomach. "You're wearing too much too, you know."

I shivered as he nuzzled one nipple, kissing my skin before licking along the intricate linework of the celtic-styled dara knot on the right of my chest and shoulder. I let my fingers slide through his hair, over the back of his neck, over his well-muscled shoulders. "Do you want to go somewhere more comfortable?"

"God yes," he hissed, pressing another kiss to my chest before getting to his feet, pulling me to mine. I tugged him in the direction of my room before letting go of his hand to pull my shirt the rest of the way off, feeling his hand smooth up my spine. He gave an appreciative hum. "This is nice, too."

My backpiece had only been finished a few months before I'd left Dublin, a full colour piece by an artist I'd waited more than a year to see: an oak tree with its beautiful dryad and a stag. I leaned into his touch and chuckled softly. "We'd make a hell of a scene for any tattoo fetishists."

"Like each other?" he teased. He pressed up against my back before I could turn, arms sliding around my waist and over my stomach as he trailed slow kisses along my shoulder and up my neck. 

I relaxed against him, tilting my head to bare my neck more for him, groaning at the feel of his teeth as he worried my skin gently.

"You ever slept with another artist before?" he murmured, kissing up more to suck on my earlobe. His hands continued their caress, over my bare chest and stomach, stroking my hips through my jeans. I felt almost achingly hard, and it took a moment for me to pull my mind away from his touch to answer his question.

"No. No, a few clients, but not another artist."

"Good," he murmured, starting to tug my jeans undone, nipping at the crook of my neck. "Then no-one else has admired your ink like I will."

The thought was strangely appealing, but I quickly lost track of it as he slipped a hand into my boxers to curl around my cock, stroking me almost agonizingly slow, his thumb circling the head. My breath came ragged, and I tried to rock back against the hardness of his cock that I could feel pressed against my ass. "Oh god, Ben..."

"You're so hard," he murmured, rocking up against me as he licked over the crook of my neck, sealing his mouth on my trapezius muscle and biting down a little harder. I bit my lip on a groan, reaching back to grab his ass and pull him closer, hearing him give a sharp hiss of pleasure against my skin as he rolled his hips against me with more insistence. "Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me, Lar, oh my god...."

Fucking was a heady, tempting thought, especially standing like this. It was easy to think about what it would feel like to have him inside me, easy to want to yield to his strength and passion. "No fucking on the first date," I made myself say, as much a reminder to myself as anything else. I turned in his arms, though, catching his mouth in a hungry kiss. "I'll do anything else you want me to, though."

Ben's hands clenched at my ass, pulling me closer. "Just wanna be with you," he murmured, and kissed me again.

Even if he had no preferences, I could still feel how hard he was and I wanted _that_. I'd been his roommate for long enough that I was pretty confident he was packing something impressive despite his height; still, the girth I felt when I yanked his jeans undone to wrap my hand around him was enough to make my mouth water. "Bloody hell, that's a gorgeous thick cock."

"Yeah?" he sounded a little surprised, but I was already slipping to my knees, yanking his jeans and boxers down to run my tongue up the length of his cock, sucking at the head hungrily. The taste of his arousal and the scent of his skin made me feel almost desperately, achingly aroused, and I took him in my mouth without any more foreplay, reveling in the size of him, the hardness against my tongue.

Ben's fingers clenched in my hair briefly before sliding down to grip my shoulders. "Oh fuck, Larry, your mouth...."

I looked up at him through my eyelashes as I pulled back, making a show of sucking at the head of his cock, pressing my tongue into the slit and letting my lower lip drag over the frenulum and sensitive bundle of nerves on the underside of his cock. "Yeah? That's what's been getting you all hot, imagining me down on my knees like this with my mouth wrapped around your cock?"

"Among other things," he murmured, eyes dark and hungry as he looked down at me. I gave a low, appreciative chuckle, flashing him a grin before letting my lips part over his cock again, holding his gaze as I slowly slid down his shaft, taking him almost to the hilt. I didn't often bother trying to make eye contact, but now it felt incredibly intimate and fabulously dirty all at once and just what I needed. It was worth it for Ben's expression alone, dark and hungry and yearning, hands restless as they stroked through my hair and over my back and neck, finally finding purchase on my shoulders, clenching and kneading. "Oh god, you're amazing. Oh fuck...."

I let my cheeks hollow as I pulled away, then started blowing him more in earnest, letting my eyes fall closed as I took him in my throat again with only a little difficulty, hearing him curse and whimper my name. It was easy to lose myself completely to this task, my own desire wrapped up in his pleasure, in the satisfaction I felt at being able to make him gasp and moan and buck up into my mouth. I could feel him growing close, feel his thighs tremble under my hands, and I groaned helplessly around him, craving the feel of his completion, wanting him to come down my throat. But then Ben was pulling back, tugging me away from him, voice husky and desperate. "Enough, enough. Lar, stop."

I whimpered despite myself, trying to follow him to continue. "But I haven't gotten to the best part...."

Ben laughed breathlessly, shaking his head as he pushed his jeans the rest of the way off. "But I want to take care of you first. Can we go to bed?"

The sentiment was surprising but genuine, and though it left me feeling a little dazed I managed to nod, getting up and pushing off my jeans. Pinned half under him on the futon, I was suddenly glad he'd insisted on going to bed, loving the feel of his bare skin against mine, his cock hard against my stomach. Ben caught my mouth with his own, kisses hungry and almost possessive, as if wanting to taste every piece of my mouth. Then he drew back, hunger in his eyes as he ran a hand down the length of my body. "So hot," he breathed, and I didn't attempt to be modest about it; even if my fitness routine was more organic than his, I knew I looked good. I was happy to let him do as he liked, arching up under him as he kissed over my chest, lavishing attention on my tattoo until I felt like I'd go mad without more sensation, then finally nuzzling down my stomach. 

He nipped lightly at my abs before nuzzling the length of my cock, and I drew a sharp breath, tangling one hand in his hair. "Had a full physical before I came over, if you're worried....."

"Good to know," he murmured, running his tongue up the underside of my cock from root to tip. "Me too, I gave blood three months ago." Any experience he may have lacked was more than made up for in enthusiasm as he traced the veins in my cock with his lips. He swirled his tongue around the head before taking me in his mouth, his hand wrapped around the base, stroking me slowly, and regardless of whether it was his skill or the fact that I'd wanted him so badly, it felt bloody amazing.

"Oh god, Ben...." my fingers clenched and unclenched in his hair as I tried not to rock up into his mouth, groaning as his fingers moved faster on the base of my cock, his mouth sliding down my shaft. Watching him suck me was more erotic than I'd anticipated, seeing how obviously he was turned on by it, low, appreciative groans deep in his throat humming around my cock. I quickly realized I wasn't going to last nearly as long as I'd thought, and I bit my lip, trying to distract myself. "Fuck, let me finish you off."

"My turn first," he pulled away long enough to say before sucking on me a little more enthusiastically, the sudden lack of sensation and unexpected return of intensity making me shout and buck up into his mouth. I dug my nails into my palm, breathing hard.

"Let's sixty-nine," I gasped, tugging on his shoulders. "Want your cock in my mouth when I come. Want you to come in my mouth."

Ben pulled back with a breathless laugh, smiling as he glanced up at me and gave a little nod. "Yeah. Okay." He moved to kiss me hard, then turned to straddle my head before taking me in his mouth again. I did the same, swallowing him down with a throaty groan, happily losing myself to the wet heat of his mouth on me and the taste of his cock on my tongue, stroking my hands over his hips and thighs. I cupped his sack in one hand so I could swallow him to the hilt, massaging gently, satisfied to feel him go wild against me at it, groaning around me and blowing me more urgently, half gagging as he took me deeper. Then one of his hands moved to cup my balls, stroking back behind them and against my asshole, and the tease of sensation pulled me over the edge unexpectedly, orgasm bursting bright and hot through me, the pinnacle of release in the midst of so much pleasure.

I expected Ben to pull away, but instead he continued, his cry of pleasure muffled around my cock, his hips bucking forward to drive his cock into my mouth as he pulsed and came. In the midst of my pleasure it was perfect, and I relaxed and took it, lost in the girth of his cock filling my mouth, in the hot bitter taste of his passion.

Easing away, I licked the last spurts of come from the head of his cock before letting my head fall back to the pillows with a breathless groan. Ben pulled back as well, placing a rather possessive feeling kiss to the base of my cock before turning and pulling me into his arms, claiming my mouth in a slow, deep kiss. It was suddenly, strangely even more intimate than sex had been, and I found myself clinging to him, kissing him breathlessly again and again as my body came down from the high of sex.

Ben finally broke from our kisses to nuzzle my forehead, hooking one thigh over my hips even more possessively. "Can we do this again?" he asked, voice soft and low. "Can we do this lots?"

It sounded far more serious than I was ready for, and I tried to make light of it. "Sixty-nine like a couple of desperate whores and come down each other's throats?"

Ben gave a soft chuckle, his arms tightening around me. "Or whatever. I just want to be with you."

I did very much want to have sex, and part of me knew there was no way I'd let this end before he'd given me a good, hard shag with that amazing dick. But I couldn't let myself get any more attached than I already was. "Me too," I said slowly, then moved to press my face to his chest. "But we shouldn't let this get too serious, Ben."

He was silent for a long moment, stroking his fingers through my hair and giving a soft sigh. "Yeah," he said finally. "Yeah, you're right." He pressed another kiss to my hair, then shifted in my embrace, stretching out on his back and pulling me close against his side. I gave in, resting my head on the pillow beside his and nuzzling my face against the crook of his neck.

I sighed softly, letting my fingers stroke over his chest, slowly tracing the twisting branches of the cherry tree. This wasn't just some one-night shag with a straight bloke. Was I really ready to let myself be the other man? To let this continue on?

I wanted it too badly to stop it, I couldn't deny that. So maybe I just had to take this as what it was: something temporary, something hot, something fun to enjoy while it lasted.

I took a slow breath. "Tell me about Amy."

I felt Ben stiffen against me, immediately guarded. "Why?"

I shrugged, not making any move to meet his gaze. "I don't know. You never talk about her. I just want to know about her."

Ben gave a soft sigh, staring up at the ceiling, and was quiet for so long that I was afraid he wasn't going to answer. Then I felt his fingers move on my back, stroking slow circles.

"I met her when I was a freshman in high school," he said finally. "She was the girl every guy wanted. Athletic, exotic, hot, popular. She was on Team USA, she was practically a celebrity. I was never really sure why she agreed to be my girl, I guess maybe she liked that I was a bit of a bad boy. And probably the fact that I doted on her."

"Also you have a huge cock," I pointed out, smiling as I felt him relax against me, chuckling.

"People were convinced we'd get married right out of high school," Ben spoke more easily as he continued. "But gymnastics took up a lot of her time... it was difficult. When she left Vegas to train full time in her grade 12 year of high school we tried to stay together but I ended up breaking it off. She came back, we hooked up, she left, I broke it off again... I always kind of felt like I wasn't good enough for her. I guess it's one of the reasons why I've worked so hard to become so renowned as an artist."

Ben turned into me again, resting his face against my hair, pulling me a little closer. "I don't know what else to tell you, Lar. When I'm with her it feels like she's the one I'm supposed to spend my life with, but when we're not together I don't feel anything. Working for Cirque du Soleil was her dream and she almost turned it down because she was convinced I'd break up with her again, so I promised her that no matter what happened I'd be waiting for her when she came home to Vegas. And I feel like the biggest asshole in the world but I can't break that promise."

"Don't feel like an asshole," I said quietly, shifting to press a soft kiss to his mouth. "You will be there when she gets back, this doesn't change anything. It's just... a sabbatical."

"I feel like I'm being an asshole to you," he corrected, returning my kiss, lips lingering on mine as he ran his fingers through my hair. "This is what you came here to get away from."

I chuckled softly. "Not really, no. Don't know if I'd have left if I'd had such a handsome, well endowed man back at home."

He chuckled as well, but shook his head. "That's not what I meant...."

"I know." I pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth. "Don't worry about me, all right? Trust me. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

For a moment, Ben searched my gaze, then gave a slow nod. "Okay. I trust you."

I smiled, nuzzling his jaw. "Then I'm looking forward to doing this again. As much as you want."

Ben gave a soft, appreciative noise, nuzzling my hair and tightening his arms around me. "Good." There was comfortable silence for a time, and then he spoke again. "Are you still interested in trading ink? If you're not I'll pay you, I just... I'd like you to do some work on me."

The idea felt a lot more intimate than it had the first time he'd asked me. I pulled away to give him a soft smile. "I'd really like that, Ben. Did you have something in mind?"

He nodded slowly. "I've been considering something like for a while... the dryad on your back, I want something similar for my sakura tree for the other half of my chest. Still kind of continuing the asian theme but with your style. What do you think?"

My mind was already full of ideas. I smiled, fingertips tracing slow patterbare skin as I thought. "Yeah... yeah, like some kind of asian goddess in layers of kimono with flowing silks patterned with sakura flowers and this elaborate head-dress, maybe some wind sweeping everything over towards the tree...."

"Yes, exactly," Ben was smiling, watching me. "Perfect."

I searched his gaze for a moment. "Are you sure about this? It's a lot of real estate to give up, Ben."

He nodded, stroking a hand up my arm. "Of course. If you're sure you want to do such a big piece."

I grinned, trying to keep things lighthearted. "As long as you'll return the favour." I motioned to my chest. "Take as much room as you want. Make it interesting."

Now it was Ben's turn to regard my skin, fingers stroking over the dara knot he'd lavished so much attention on and the bare skin around it. "It's really well done."

"It is," I agreed, "but it was the first piece I had done when I was sixteen, and it was more about symbolism than artistry. It was a birthday gift from my ma, she wanted to make sure I had a good artist. I guess that's how I got my start tattooing."

Ben nodded, smiling, fingertips still tracing the knot work. "What's the meaning behind it?"

It was kind of nice to talk about it. "Mum has one that's kind of similar on her back. I thought was the coolest thing ever when I was growing up. She always encouraged my art. She said hers was kind of like a talisman... this kind of knot is based on the roots of the oak tree. Has to do with internal strength and wisdom and endurance and steadfastness and all that good stuff."

He was smiling, nodding slowly. "I like that. I think I can come up with something. Give me a bit of time to do some research."

"It doesn't have to fit the whole Celtic thing I have going on, that just kind of... happened."

Ben's fingers trailed lower on my stomach, circling slowly around my bellybutton. His voice lowered, and the combination of it and his teasing touch sent a shiver down my spine. "You have great skin, Lar... really nice body. It's going to be a joy to work on...."

It was hard not to wonder if he was trying to turn me on. It was harder not to be turned on. "I hope so."

"I know so," he murmured, fingers smoothing down lower to stroke through the fine, strawberry blond curls at the base of my cock. He moved to nuzzle my jaw as he did, voice huskier. "Can I sleep here with you tonight?"

It was hard to say no when it felt so good, when I could already feel my cock responding to his attentions. "I don't really sleep well with other people," I lied, but pressed closer to him as I did, catching his mouth in a warm kiss. "But we don't have to get out of bed just yet...."

~~~~


	5. Chapter 5

**John Murdoch**

 

After about two months in Vegas, after a month and a half of getting work on my tattoos, I began to feel like I was actually settling down, getting used to everything around me. Wonderland continued to bring in very good numbers - it was always a bit of a concern, doing a residency, that your fan base in the area would lose its eagerness to see you spin, but I liked to think that I was able to keep up enough variety to keep things interesting, and I was happy that I was beginning to recognize some regulars in the crowd.

I was happier that the artists from Desert Rose had come out for Rockabilly night. I'd even seen May again the night after, dancing beside my sister, though sadly none of the other artists had been with her. Or Daniel. Especially Daniel.

It was strange to find that I couldn't stop thinking about the shop's sweet little receptionist. He still seemed flustered every time I talked to him, even when I wasn't trying to hit on him and it was so adorable that I'd stopped trying to fluster him deliberately altogether. I almost wished that I hadn't been spinning when he'd come to Wonderland, wished I could just pull him into the crowd and dance with him without being a celebrity. Still, I'd made sure to work the two songs that he liked into my set after he'd arrived, and I caught his eye more than a few times as they played, smiling warmly and happy to see it returned.

What was stranger was that I was starting to find that I wasn't nearly as interested in other men as I had been. Larry and I had hooked up that night at Wonderland, but I hadn't heard from him since, and I hadn't spoken to him other than at our appointments. There were other cuties at my club, of course, and at some of the afterparties I went to, but no one that really caught my eye....

I found myself alone in the waiting room after my appointment that week, giving Daniel the payment for my session and going over my upcoming schedule. Leon hadn't come along - he'd had a meeting over skype with some event organizers on the east coast who wanted to book me into a festival during one of my few free weekends in June - and in the absence of his common sense I found myself wondering why I didn't just do something about how I was feeling.

"Next Tuesday is still good to go?" Daniel asked, looking up at me.

For a moment I didn't reply, just searching the blue eyes behind those adorable vintage glasses. "Let me take you out for dinner," I said softly. "I want to get to know you better."

Daniel drew a soft breath, flushing immediately and looking away. "John, I...."

"Just say yes," I urged, leaning closer and lowering my voice. "I'm just a regular guy under all this DJ stuff, you know. Come out with me. Please."

Daniel wet his lips, staring down at the keyboard. "I... I can't, I - I'm seeing someone right now. I'm sorry."

I was unprepared for the heavy rush of disappointment that his words brought. It wasn't completely a surprise, of course. Why would someone as adorable as Daniel be single? Part of me wanted to try and brush it off, to try and woo him anyway. It hadn't exactly stopped me in the past. But it felt... wrong, with him.

"Don't be sorry," I said, forcing a smile. "He's very lucky. Will you let me know if something changes?"

It almost made it worse that I could see genuine regret in his eyes when he looked up at me. "All right," he said, managing a smile. "I'll see you next Tuesday?"

"Of course," I replied, returning his smile before heading out of the shop.

I tried not to think too much about it, going back to my suite and burying myself in my work. It was dark before I stopped to stretch and realized that I hadn't eaten anything beyond the sandwich I'd grabbed from a convenience store on the way home. Hunger hit me hard, as well as the weak, trembly feeling that came from having used up all my endorphins in the Tattoo shop without eating much afterward. It made me feel uneasy, made it harder to ignore how unsettled I felt whenever I thought of Daniel. I ordered a large bowl of pho from the Vietnamese restaurant downstairs in the casino, pacing along the windows that looked out over the strip as I waited for it to arrive.

Maybe it was time to take a break and indulge a little. Maybe I could just go out and forget about being who I was.

I took my time eating, surfing the internet and reading up on the local gay scene, then changing for the club. No use arriving at a club so early Tuesday night. Just as I'd about made up my mind on where to go, my phone buzzed.

The text was from Larry. ' _How is your tattoo doing?_ '

I found myself smiling. He'd never followed up with me after an appointment before, and I had no qualms about calling a spade a spade. ' _Tattoo's great. I could do with some company, though. Want to go out for a drink?_ '

' _Hell yes,_ ' came the reply almost immediately. ' _Where? I just called a cab, can meet you wherever. I hear good things about Krave._ '

' _You read my mind, sexy. Meet you there soon._ '

Larry was waiting for me outside when I arrived, standing near the end of the line for the door. The length of the line encouraged me quite a bit - more than anything I wanted to get drunk and lose myself in the anonymity of a crowded club. He smiled as I approached, not resisting as I took his face in my hands and pulled him close for a yearning kiss.

"Hello to you too," he said, grinning as we parted. "Thanks for inviting me out."

"Happy to get out of my suite," I replied, chuckling. "Everything okay with you?"

He hesitated for a moment, and something in his expression made me believe that he needed a break as much as I did. Then he grinned and gave a little shrug. "Yeah, it's alright, whatever. Just spent the last half hour listening to my roommate on the phone with his girlfriend. Felt the need to get a bit pissed and reassert my gayness."

"Let's get to it, then," I said, grinning and pulling him out of line and towards the door. The TI VIP concierge had been all too happy to get me a pass for no line no cover, and the doorman hardly glances at our ID before waving us in.

Inside the club it was just what I wanted - dark and warm and crowded with half naked eye candy. Larry's t-shirt was off and tucked into the back of his belt shortly after we'd downed our first drinks, and I can't say I wasn't envious. I'd dressed in long sleeves, mostly to hide the bright blue tattoo bandage on my arm, and unbuttoning my shirt was the closest I could get to how naked I wanted to be.

Within a few drinks it didn't matter much anyway, as I found myself paying much more attention to the music and dancing and Larry's nakedness than my lack of it. The DJ was actually pretty good, considering what I assumed was his requirement to play the party bangers and 90's dance hits and pop remixes that made up the gay bar musical lexicon. The mixes had good amounts of glitch and funk worked in, and even when the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire came over the sound system I found myself enjoying it.

Or maybe I was just really drunk.

I'd gotten a couple of drinks from some very attractive looking men, but I realized I was far more interested in Larry than just picking up a random stranger. Soon enough we were half grinding on the dance floor, and I let my hands stroke up his chest to rest on his shoulders, leaning closer. "When do you work tomorrow?"

"Eleven, but I should be home by ten..." his smile widened, and his hands smoothed under my shirt to stroke my waist. "If you want me to stay."

"Fuck yes," I replied, and pulled him into another kiss.

It didn't take long to get a cab to TI - it was harder to keep my hands to myself in the back of the cab and during the elevator ride up to my penthouse. Once we were inside again I pulled him close to claim his mouth again, stroking hands down his bare back to cup his ass and pull him closer, rocking up against him. Larry gave a low groan into my mouth, returning my kisses hungrily and stroking my shirt off my shoulders. He stopped as his fingers encountered the bandage, frowning as he pulled away. "Want me to clean this for you?"

"After sex?" I asked, the words coming out a little needier than I intended.

Larry just chuckled, hooking an arm around my waist and tugging me further into the suite. I guided him towards my room, kicking the door shut behind us, then gave a little disgruntled noise as he pulled me towards the bathroom. "Oh, come on...."

"You'd risk the well being of your skin and my artwork rather than wait a few minutes?" Larry asked, giving me a little teasing smirk. He turned the water on in the tub before turning to me, starting to carefully untape the bandage.

"I'm drunk and horny," I half explained, half complained. "And you said overnight is okay...."

"Not if you're getting all sweaty and gross from gay bars and sex," he said firmly, peeling the bandage away from my skin and tossing it in the garbage.

I gave a soft hiss as the cool air hit my healing skin, wishing the tub would fill faster. "Come on...." I started, but was silenced as he pulled me into another yearning kiss, one hand stroking down my stomach to palm my cock through my jeans, starting to tug them undone. I was panting by the time he finally took me in hand, stroking me slowly from root to tip. "Fuck, Larry...."

"Into the bath," he said, still smirking, pushing my jeans and boxers down my hips before leaning over to turn off the water.

The tub in the suite was a fabulously large, jetted affair, and I was pleased when Larry stepped out of his jeans and joined me. I couldn't help but admire his naked form, beautifully toned from what he'd told me was a decade of running every morning, and I leaned forward to run my hands over his arms, feeling well-defined muscles under the ink. "We could have sex in the bath."

"Lay back," he replied, pushing insistently on my chest until I gave in and relaxed against the side of the tub, sinking down until my new ink was submerged in the hot water.

"Ow ow oww, so hot, fuck..."

"Awww." Larry gave an exaggerated sympathetic noise at my whimpers, moving forward to lean over me. "Here, let me take your mind off it," he murmured, claiming my mouth with his, one hand stroking up my thigh to curl around my cock.

I groaned into his mouth, returning the kiss hungrily and finding his cock underwater as well. "Now you're talking," I murmured, rocking up into his touch a little, drawing a sharp breath as the pad of his thumb rubbed slowly over the sensitive bundle of nerves just under the head of my cock. "Fuck, more...."

"Yeah?" Larry nipped lightly at my bottom lip, still working my cock slowly under the water. "Want me to jerk you off in the bath?"

"Mmmhmm..." I let my head fall back as Larry kissed down my neck, reveling in the sensations for a few minutes, which were a very welcome distraction from the intensity of the hot water on my raw, freshly inked skin. "Then I want you to throw me into bed and fuck me."

"I think I can manage that," he purred, nipping at the crook of my neck before licking a line up my skin to nuzzle my ear.

I moved my fingers a little faster on him underwater, trying to encourage more. "God, you drive me crazy...."

"Good," he hissed, then pulled away all together. "I still need to take care of your arm."

"Oh, for fucks sake...."

Larry's grin was bemused, but he shifted to kneel over my lap, not complaining as I wrapped my hand around his cock as well as my own, trying to rock up against him, stroking us together. "You have the most one track mind of anyone I've ever met," he said, grabbing the hypoallergenic body wash off the side of the tub that I used for after care. Soaping his hands thoroughly, he moved to take hold of my left arm underwater, fingers brushing gently over the skin. 

It was almost painfully intense, and I bit my lip on a moan, rocking up against him. "Oh god...."

"You getting off on this?" he asked a little breathlessly, smirking as he carefully cleaned the remnants of blood and plasma from my freshly inked skin.

"I think I'm allowed to get off on anything that involves a naked man on my lap in the bath," I gasped, whimpering a little as his fingers moved. "Oh fuck, I wanna come so bad....!"

"Impatient little cockslut," he murmured, voice low and promising. Then he grabbed a clean white towel off the vanity and spread it on the side of the bath, lifting my arm and placing it there. "Don't move this," he orderd, then leaned forward to catch my mouth in a firm kiss, fingers curling around our joined cocks with my own, guiding me to stroke a little faster, a little more firmly.

"Fuck yes...." I barely had time to hiss the words between kisses, returning them as hard as he gave them, sucking on his lips and tongue and licking into his mouth. The feel of his cock against mine underwater and his fingers wrapped around me was intoxicating, and he rocked against me just a little, just enough for the sensitive underside of my cock to slide against his. "God, I want you so bad...."

"Yeah?" Larry moved to kiss hotly along my jaw again. "You been thinking about that when I work on you? Hoping I'd bend you over the bed and shag your hot little ass?"

"Oh god, you know it," I gasped, working our cocks a little harder, toes curling under as I felt orgasm approach. "Fuck, Larry - !"

"Come on then," he murmured, and in moments I'd given in to pleasure, gasping and bucking up against him as his fingers stroked spurts of come from my cock. He gave a low, breathless groan against my neck and I felt him come in my fingers, still rocking against me a little as orgasm faded.

Larry nuzzled my cheek, warm and relaxed and content against me. "There now. That wasn't too painful a wait, was it?"

"I think you kept me sufficiently distracted," I replied, moving my hand from his thigh to slip back and cup his ass. I was about to do the same with my other hand when he caught my wrist.

"Don't you dare put that in bathwater filled with come," he said firmly, and I gave an innocent grin and a shrug.

"Then I guess we better get cleaned up and out so I can molest you properly in bed."

I was happy enough to let Larry fuss over me as the bath drained, patting my tattoo dry carefully with kleenexes before putting cream on my other arm, which was in the annoyingly dry and scaly period of healing. "You're taking good care of yourself, right? No sun, no soaking?"

"Apart from jerking you off just now, no," I replied, and he rolled his eyes, giving my ass a pinch.

"Wanker. You have this whole suite to yourself?"

"More or less," I said, taking him out to the bedroom and yanking back the neat hotel comforter before sprawling indulgently in the middle of the bed. "Anna stays in the other room, figured I'd save her some money. She works at Le Reve in Wynn. The pay's decent but not superstar level."

"Will she be home tonight?"

I glanced at the time. Anna was definitely the morning person I wasn't. "She's probably already in bed. Do you want something to eat? I get everything comp here, and they're generally pretty fast at getting it up here. Being VIP and all."

He smiled, settling beside me and stretching out in bed. "I'll take advantage of your goodwill, sure."

I called down to room service, trying not to get distracted by his body, stretched out gloriously naked in my bed. I let my fingers run over his thigh as I ordered food, admiring the intricate inked design, a beveled leather thigh strap holding some kind of fantasy pistol, all brass and glass and gears and etched metal. "This is pretty badass," I said, turning to admire it more. "Tell me about it?"

Larry gave a soft, slightly self conscious chuckle. "I did that one, actually. Well, most of it, my mentor did the back of the holster, kind of hard to do the back of your own leg. I was kind of into steampunk, thought it would look cool."

I looked up at him in amazement. "Wait, wait... you did this? You tattooed yourself?"

He shrugged, but seemed pleased. "My mentor was old school, wouldn't let me work on anyone else before I'd gotten it right. That's why the inside of my thigh is so dark, I started there and fucked up and just had to deal. Hurt like hell, too. But I figured if I fucked up there it would be less visible."

"That's pretty badass," I told him, still letting my fingers play over the lines of the ink. "You have any other plans for tattoos?"

Larry shook his head slowly. "Not yet. Well, I think Ben's going to take the rest of my chest, we've been talking about trading ink. We'll see."

I watched him as he spoke, noticing how he glanced away, seeming uncomfortable at the mention of the other artist. I let myself curl against his side, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and remembering what he'd said earlier about needing to get out of the house. "Is there something between you two?"

"No," he said immediately, then sighed. "Sorry, that's a lie. I just... I don't really know what's going on, I guess. I like him more than I should. He's got a girlfriend that's away on tour that he's waiting for, but when we're together, the way that he treats me... it's too easy to let myself forget about it."

I nodded slowly. "Well, he definitely likes you. I thought he was a bit of an asshole at first but then I realized he was just being protective of you. He's an idiot to choose anyone over you."

Larry snorted. "He's been dating the girl since high school. I can't really compete with that. Plus, you know. Girl."

I quirked an eyebrow. "So?"

Larry looked over at me. "Marriage and babies and all that?"

I shrugged. "Nothing's stopping him from having marriage and babies with a dude, if that's what he wants. He doesn't exactly strike me as being a traditionalist."

Larry looked away. "I'm sorry, I don't know if I really want to talk about this. It's a good time regardless of what happens in the end, I just need to think about it like that and not expect anything to come of it and everything will be okay."

"Okay," I said softly, still worried despite his reassurance. I heard a knock on my suite door, and gave him a smile as I got up, pulling a hotel robe around me and returning carrying an ice bucket with a bottle of cold dessert wine and a tray of sliced fruit. "Hungry?"

"Suddenly famished," he said, grinning and sitting up in bed.

We finished the wine and most of the fruit in no time, and if Larry was upset by our earlier conversation he certainly didn't show it, pulling me into wine sweet kisses as his hands roamed over my bare skin, my robe long since discarded. It felt good being together, I realized as our kisses grew more heated. Better than just some guy I'd drug home from a club. I couldn't delude myself into thinking I had some kind of romantic feelings for him, nor would I want to have had them. But there was a genuine affection there that I hadn't had time to feel for anyone in quite some time, and it was nice.

I tilted my head back to his kisses, tangling my fingers in thick auburn hair and drawing a soft hiss as he nipped at my collarbone. "Lar, are we friends?"

"Hmm?" Larry drew back to look down at me, questioning, then gave a soft smile. "Yeah. I think so. Do you?"

"Yes," I decided, tugging him closer and wrapping my thighs around his waist, groaning appreciatively at the press of his hips to my own. "And fuck buddies."

He laughed, indulging in another warm kiss as he rocked slowly against me. "I like the sound of that."

"I do want you to," I murmured, hands stroking down his waist to cup his ass and pull him closer. "Fuck me, I mean. Really bad, Lar, you've been so sexy all night...."

He chuckled, rolling his hips against mine as his mouth dropped to kiss my throat and shoulder hungrily, nipping at the skin. "More than happy to fuck this fine ass of yours however you want. You have supplies?"

I waved a hand vaguely towards the bedside table, and Larry pulled away to open it. He tossed a bottle of lube and a condom on the bed before giving a little interested noise, pulling out another bottle. "Silicone based massage oil?"

"Feels good," I said, catching his gaze and wiggling my eyebrows. "We can use some if you like."

"Can we now?" He gave me a smirk, flipping the cap open and drizzling a small amount over my chest and stomach before dripping some on my cock.

I gave a soft hiss at the cool liquid on my sensitive skin, moaning as his fingers smoothed over my chest, slicking my skin and brushing against my nipples. "God, that feels nice...."

He hummed in agreement. "Might have to shower again afterwards, though."

"Such a sacrifice," I mumbled, arching more under his touch and letting my eyes fall closed, feeling deliciously spoiled. I drew a sharp breath as his fingers curled around my cock, slicking slowly up and down the shaft. "Yesss...."

"You're a bit of a hedonist, aren't you?" Larry murmured, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. One hand continued to stroke over my chest, fingertips teasing my nipples as he drizzled more lube on my thighs and cock. His hand cupped and teased my balls gently, stroking the soft skin behind.

"Isn't that the whole point of wanting to be rich and famous?" I replied, pulling one thigh up to give him better access. When his fingers finally smoothed back to tease my asshole it felt like I'd been waiting for ages, and I groaned as I pressed against the touch. "Oh fuck yeah...."

Larry chuckled, fingers returning a moment later slick with more lube, pressing one inside me with care, working me open. "And here I thought you'd be the type to ravish pretty boys in your fancy suite."

"Love ravishing pretty boys," I confirmed, groaning as a second finger breached me, slowly fucking up inside me, just barely brushing against that spot that sent pleasure singing through my veins. "Just sometimes really want... oh god, really want a good fucking."

"Dirty little tart," Larry murmured affectionately, leaning half over me to claim my lips as he continued to work his fingers in me.

It felt good, his skin warm and slick against my own, and I tried to arch closer, nipping at his bottom lip. "Enough. Fuck me. Just like this."

"Yes sir," he replied, smirking, easing his fingers away and pressing between my thighs. He pressed close instead, though, claiming my mouth, cock sliding slick against my own as he rocked against my body. "God, that does feel good..."

"Mmhmm," I hummed in agreement, finding the condom on the bed and tearing it open with my teeth, reaching between us to roll it down the length of his cock. "Now fuck me."

"Pushy," he chuckled, nipping at my bottom lip before pulling back, pushing my thighs up almost to my chest and watching me through darkened eyes as he started to push into me.

I let out a long breath, eyes falling closed at the intensity of being taken, my body stretching around the thick head of his cock, shuddering as I tried to adjust. It was so good though, just to give in, to be the focus of his passion and pleasure. I shifted a little to wrap my legs around him, heels pressing against his ass. "God yes, so good, Lar... more...."

"Such a demanding little thing," he chuckled, leaning forward to kiss me. He didn't hold back, though, rocking deeper with firm, insistent thrusts, each one pulling a gasp from my lips. I didn't normally go for this position - it was a little awkward, too difficult to be fucked as deep as I liked to be, but Lar had a nice long cock to match his height and knew how to use it, the head brushing up against my sweet spot again and again. My cock was still slick from the massage oil and was trapped between us, sliding against his abs with each thrust, and I pulled his mouth down to mine, tearing hard, trembling kisses from his mouth again and again.

"Oh god," I whimpered, trying to arch under him, trying to pull my thighs higher for deeper penetration. "Oh fuck, Lar, yes, fuck me. Fuck me hard, please - !"

He nipped sharply at my bottom lip, then pulled away, eyes dark and lips bruised pink from the force of our kisses. "Get on your hands and knees and I'll fuck you so hard you'll be seeing stars."

I grinned, enjoying being ordered around. I moved to kneel on the edge of the bed, resting on my arms and glancing back to smirk at him. "Like this?"

"That'll work," he replied, returning my grin and climbing off the bed to stand behind me, giving my ass a teasing swat. "God, you have a nice ass."

"Show me," I challenged, feeling almost unbearably turned on and empty from the loss of his cock. "Come on, Lar...."

I felt the head of his cock press against me, sliding teasingly along my ass crack and pushing inside me just enough to stretch my ass before pulling away. "Maybe I should just sit back and watch you fuck yourself on my dick, since you're gagging for it."

I let out a frustrated whimper, trying to wiggle back against him. "Fucking tease."

"Am I?" Larry chuckled, apparently far more patient than me, still just teasing me with the head of his cock. "I could be, if you want. Make you beg for it."

"Goddammit, you ass," I growled, quickly losing patience. "Friends off. Fuck me."

Larry's reply was a throaty laugh, and he thankfully slid back inside me, taking hold of my hips and burying himself to the hilt in a few hard thrusts. "There, you impatient little tart. This what you want? Have your ass pounded by a huge cock?"

His pace was almost punishing, but exactly what I wanted, and I could really only hang on for the ride, hands clenched at the bedsheets as I tried to rock with him as much as I could. "Fuck, yes - !" I managed to gasp, my own cock rock hard and tight against my stomach, and I cried out as his hips smacked up against my ass with each thrust. He must have been well practiced at this, unerringly hitting up against my prostate and sending a hot flood of sensation through me. "God, Lar - !"

"Bloody hell, you feel good," he breathed, not letting up, his fingers digging hard into my hips. "Such a tight little ass..."

Even after having Larry jerk me off in the bathtub I could feel myself growing close, the intensity of sensation too much. I rocked against him breathlessly. "Gonna make me come so hard...!"

"Yeah?" He was at least as breathless as I was, keeping up the pace, rocking hard into me again and again, words broken and thick from pleasure. "Going to come all over the bed just from my cock in your ass? Show me how much you love being fucked?"

"Fuck - !" I shifted to lean on my forearms, crying out as it just increased the depth of penetration. It was too much, and in moments I was bucking back against him as the pleasure overwhelmed me, rushing through every nerve in my body as I spent myself in hot spurts.

"God, John - !" I was vaguely aware of Larry's hips stuttering into me, his throaty cry of pleasure, and I felt him pulse inside me and come, the heat between us only intensifying my own satisfaction.

For a long moment I didn't try to move, leaning heavily on my forearms and trying to catch my breath. I felt Larry's fingers unclench from my hips, rubbing gently at the sore spots where they'd been. They could bruise. I didn't care. I gave a soft moan, enjoying the feeling of fullness in the aftermath of pleasure. "Wow. Thank you."

"Thank you?" Larry chuckled softly, hands smoothing over my hips and up my back, warm and affectionate. "I thought we were friends off."

"Friends back on again," I replied, feeling lazy and warm and incredibly well fucked. "Anyone who can fuck like that is definitely always friends on."

"Good." We cleaned up and showered in lazy silence, mostly because I was far too tired and fucked out to engage in witty banter. It was nice to let Larry take care of me, bundling me into bed before turning out the light and curling up against my back. It felt nice. Warm.

"I set my alarm for nine," he said, nuzzling my hair. "Want me to wake you up before I go?"

"Wake me with you," I replied sleepily, finding one of his hands and pulling it around me more. "Wanna feed you before you go."

"All right." Larry pressed a soft kiss to the nape of my neck. He was silent for a long moment, and I'd almost dozed off when he spoke again. "John?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you for this. I really needed it."

"Mmm. Very welcome," I murmured, feeling warm and happy and content. "Night."

"Good night," he said softly again, the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep.

~~~

 

**Larry Byrne**

It was nice waking up with John the next morning, if a little uncomfortable. We'd shifted during the night, and he'd curled up against my side, one leg thrown over me possessively, his head resting on one shoulder, and my fingers tingled with somewhat painful pins and needles. Still, I managed to worm away from him to free myself and grab my cell phone, wiggling my fingers to try and regain blood flow as I turned the alarm off.

"Five more minutes," John mumbled, trying to tug me back down. It wasn't a hard sell. I reset my alarm and curled up with him again, enjoying the warmth and closeness and dozing off again.

When the alarm went off again John made a rather annoyed groan into my chest. "Five more minutes."

"It's been ten," I murmured, kissing his hair and turning off the alarm. "You can stay in bed, darling, I can see myself out."

John made a little noise of disagreement before sitting up and turning on the lamp, blinking as he tried to get used to the light. He looked up at me, eyes moving over my body appreciatively. "Sure you have to go to work?"

I nodded, a little reluctantly. It would have been nice to stay long enough for at least another round, but then I'd have to shower again, and truthfully I still felt guilty about not going home. I'd left while Ben was on the phone with Amy, only telling him that I was going out for a bit. He'd gone into his bedroom to talk when she'd called, but it still affected me more than I thought it would. I'd texted him when I'd decided to stay out with John, but he hadn't replied.

“All right. I'll order breakfast before you go,” John told me, leaning over for a soft kiss. “My meals are all comp here. Stay in bed if you like, I’ll be right back.”

I watched him appreciatively as he pulled on one of the hotel robes and slipped out of the room and into the sunlight brightness of the main room of the suite. A moment later, I heard voices.

“John! I didn’t think you'd be up so… oh god, do you have company? I’m sorry – May, can we go somewhere else?”

May?

"It's fine," John was saying, "We're doing breakfast, I'll order extra for you guys."

I slipped out of bed, finding my jeans on the floor in the bathroom and pulling them on, still doing them up as I walked into the main room. John was already on the phone with room service. May was indeed sitting at the table with Anna, wearing one of the hotel robes – and nothing else, from the looks of it. “Looks like we should just all do breakfast together.”

May gave me a little sheepish smile. “You won’t tell anyone, right?”

“What, that you play for the gay team?” I grinned and shrugged. “I thought that was obvious already. I’m hardly straight and narrow myself, darling."

"Well, no, I just... "

"She's perverting my innocence," Anna said calmly, which made May laugh and shake her head.

I decided not to question it. "I won’t tell if you don’t say anything about me shagging a client.”

“Deal,” she replied, instantly more relaxed.

“We have guests this morning, so send up double of everything," John was saying on the phone. "Oh, and a bottle of Champagne and some orange juice and some champagne flutes. And four tall Caesers with that nice pickled asparagus in them, please. You're amazing, thank you.” He hung up the phone and turned back to me. “Seriously? You guys have fraternization rules? You’re a tattoo shop.”

“Not so much rules as good practice,” May explained ruefully. “It’s bad form to sleep with a client, at least until all services are complete. And co-workers are a no-no.”

I tried not to think about Ben. “It’ll be fine as long as you don’t try to jump my bones in the shop.”

“I’ll be a perfect angel,” John promised with a smile that was almost innocent. “In the mood for some Mimosas? Perfect hangover cure. Then the Caesers.”

"We're going to be drunk before we finish breakfast," Anna chuckled, getting up to grab a bowl of fruit from the kitchenette and starting to peel an orange. She gave May an affectionate smile. "Have whatever you like, it's all comp."

"What's a Caeser?" I asked, sitting down in one of the other chairs and feeling rather wary about these plans.

John grinned. "Best thing ever. They serve them here for the Canadians. It's like a Bloody Mary, but with Clamato juice instead of Tomato."

"With cla...what?"

"Tomato and Clam," May said with a little smirk, peeling a banana.

"What?" I stared at her in horror. "That's bloody disgusting! And pickled asparagus?"

"It's amazing, trust me," John settled in the chair next to mine. "Best thing Canada's ever given the world. That and nanimo bars. Almost makes up for Celine Dion."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I won't tell Cherry you said that."

"Oh, she'd probably agree about Celine Dion," May replied with a little chuckle.

John sat back in his chair, watching his sister with a little grin. "So, you've finally found yourself a Marilyn, hm?"

"Better than Marilyn," Anna answered immediately, though I could see her flush.

"Because I actually like boobs," May added with a smirk, leaning closer to Anna and pressing a kiss to her hair. Anna seemed to glow under the affection, leaning into her with an adoring smile.

"This mean you're going to finally get a tattoo?" John asked with a teasing smile.

"I think the show would kill me." Anna chuckled, shaking her head.

"You could get something little," John insisted. "Something where they couldn't see it or where it wouldn't really be noticeable. Like on your boob or something."

Thankfully a knock came on the door, saving Anna from having to answer, and John jumped up to get it. The trolley was rather full, though that was probably due to the ice buckets holding the champagne and orange juice, along with the four tall glasses of red liquid that did indeed look a lot like tomato juice, the rims coated in pepper before the glasses had been covered in plastic wrap, a stalk of asparagus poking through the plastic on each one.

I got up to help John with the trolley, but it seemed like an everyday thing for him, pulling domes off and transferring plates to the table with practiced ease. He looked up at me with a grin. "Ceaser, or Mimosa first?"

"I have to work today," I protested, which just made John pout.

"Just one then. Try the Ceaser. It's really good, I promise."

I took one cautiously, taking the plastic wrap off and stirring it with the asparagus. John was pouring mimosas for the girls, and he frowned as he glanced over at me. "It's not going to bite you. Drink it."

I took a cautious sip, and found myself smiling. The flavours were a little strange, but surprisingly good, and I told him so.

"Of course it's good," he replied with a grin, taking the plastic wrap off another glass and holding it up towards me. "I have impeccable taste. Cheers."

For a moment we ate in silence, piling plates from the mountain of food that had been delivered. I tried my best to focus on the food instead of what was waiting for me at home. It was hard to shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach of the possibility that Ben would be unhappy with me. But I couldn't do anything about that now... so I might as well enjoy the breakfast and the company.

Someone's phone started ringing, and John jumped up from the table. "Excuse me," he said, grabbing his jeans from the bathroom and rooting through the pockets as he returned to the main room, finding the phone. "Good morning sexy face." He grinned at us, waggling his eyebrows. "It's Leon. Yeah? What festival?"

Immediately John's easy countenance changed, and he started towards the bedroom. "Oh my fucking god yes. Leon, you're amazing, you're getting a HUGE Christmas bonus, and I don't even mean my cock this time. I'll do it, tell them yes. I don't care how much they're offering, I'd do it for free. No, of course I'm not actually offering to do it for free....." He closed the door behind him, but we could still hear the excited, muffled sound of his voice through the door.

I chuckled and glanced over at Anna. "Is he always this excitable?"

"This is a bit much even for him," she replied with a soft laugh, shaking her head.

A few moments later John burst out of the bedroom, grinning like a lunatic. He looked at Anna. "Le Reve is dark the second week of August this year, right? The seventh to the twelfth?

"Let me check." Anna grabbed her phone from her purse, which sat on the sideboard against the wall, flipping through aps. "Yeah, we start up again on the sixteenth," she confirmed finally. "Why?"

John's grin was almost manic. "The headliner for Shambhala had to cancel, so they're giving his sets to me. Two sets, baby sister. Two! That's insane! You're coming with me." He looked at May, then at me. "You two need to come too, if you're not already booked then. If you have booked, change your bookings. Take it off, you're coming with me. I'll handle tickets."

I looked up at him. "Congratulations, but what's Shambhala?"

"What's Shambhala? Only one of the best electronic music festivals in the world. They've won Breakspoll's Best Large Event two years in a row. You have to beat out stuff like Coachella and Burning Man to do that." This was something John was obviously passionate about, talking with his hands as he raved.

"Isn't that the one up in Canada that you went to a couple years when you were younger?" Anna asked, sipping her mimosa.

John nodded. "I flew up when I was eighteen, before they made it adults only. The year after a bunch of us got a camper and road-tripped up there. It was hands down the most amazing festival I've ever been to. You have to come. It'll change your life."

Anna gave a little laugh, leaning closer to May. "But what if I like my life as it is?"

"In a good way," John insisted. "You both have to come. I'll even get you in as a VIP if you want. You can camp with us or, we can get another trailer - Anna, you can fan dance for me if you want, I'll get you on stage. Come. Please come."

"I think I could manage it," she said with a smile, turning to look at May. "What do you think?"

"I've heard amazing things about Shambhala," May admitted. "I do have some time booked off at the end of August, but I didn't really have any plans. Maybe I'll see if I can rearrange my appointments."

"Awesome. Larry?"

I wasn't sure about the whole festival thing, but he was so passionate about it that I figured it had to be a good time. "I'll keep things open and see how things go."

"You won't regret it." John grabbed the Champagne bottle and took a swig from it directly before offering it to me. "I'm so excited I could pee."

"Not here, please," Anna said with a little laugh, sipping her mimosa. "Are you going to try and take anything up from Wonderland?"

He shook his head. "No, it wouldn't work for Shambhala. Their stages are already themed, and the spaces are way too big for the kind of stuff you see in a club." He sipped at his caesar as he thought, eyebrows knitting together. "I've got three months to get something together. I'll just need to source out a really good visualizations artist."

"Daniel does visual effects," May offered.

John glanced over to her. "Oh, right. He works for KA."

"Forget about KA, that's just the day job." May gave a dismissive wave of her hand. "He does his own stuff, and all biases aside it's pretty awesome. Daniel and I have been going to raves and festivals for years. He's got a good idea of what people like."

John leaned forward, looking a little more interested. "Do you think he could take on something like Shambhala? It needs to be completely original. The last artist I contacted tried to talk me into another remake of Amon Tobin's Isam boxes. I need to be a trendsetter."

"I think you'll be surprised with what he can come up with," May said with a proud little smile. "I can take you to his portfolio online and you can see what you think?"

"I'd like that," John replied, smiling and leaning back in his chair. "But don't tell him I asked after him, none of you. I want to see what he comes up with knowing nothing about me."

"That might be wise," May agreed. "He's a little star struck around you, you know. Me too, a bit."

"You just need to see him being a drunk asshole a few more times," Anna told her, laughing as John stuck his tongue out at her.

I watched them with a fond smile as I finished the last piece of egg on my plate, sipping at what was left of my caesar and taking a bite of the pickled asparagus. It had been a while since I'd sat around having breakfast with friends, a while since I'd felt so at ease. My friends in Dublin were all hopelessly entrenched in the gay scene that I wanted to escape from, and the other artists at my shop had been older than I was. It felt right, being here. Still, as much as I wanted to hang around and drink in John's suite for the rest of the day, I had my responsibilities. I drained my caeser and set the glass down on the table. "Well, my darlings, I need to head home and get human before work."

"Me too," May agreed with a mournful pout, glancing to Anna. "Come help me find my clothes?"

She flushed cutely but grinned. "Okay."

John chuckled softly as he watched them go, turning to me with a smirk. "You need help, too?"

I grinned, leaning in to steal a warm kiss. "Sex would be nice, but I honestly do have to get going. Can I give you a rain check?"

"Sure." John followed me into the bedroom, and I found my t-shirt where it had been discarded on the bathroom vanity. Thankfully it wasn't too funky, given that I'd spent most of the night not wearing it. I pulled it on over my head, then stepped close to John, stroking one hand into his robe and around his bare waist as I leaned in to kiss him warmly.

"Thanks for the great night, handsome," I murmured, and he gave a soft, pleased noise, returning my kiss before pulling away to look up at me seriously.

"I do want to do this again sometime," he told me, resting a hand on my chest. "But I want things to work out with you and Ben, okay? This friendship isn't dependant on sexual favors."

I didn't particularly want to think about Ben, but I appreciated the candidness and the thought behind it. I smiled, stroking my fingers through his hair and nodding. "Thanks, green eyes. I'll keep that in mind."

The sentiment helped sustain me through the taxi ride home, though the closer I got, the tighter the knot of nerves in my stomach became.

Ben was still home when I got there, perched at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee, looking like he wasn't quite awake yet. I felt my stomach flip and clench, and tried immediately to push it away. I wasn't in love with this man, and he wasn't with me, and forcing myself into exclusivity when this was all going to end anyway was just a really bad idea that was only going to end up breaking my heart. I forced a wide smile. "Morning, sunshine. No gym this morning?"

"Morning." Ben returned my smile, but it looked forced, haggard. "You didn't come home last night."

"I stayed at a friends," I told him, hanging up my jacket, feeling a twinge of guilt despite my best efforts. "You didn't get my text?"

"I got your text," he said shortly, taking another sip of his coffee.

Steeling my nerves, I moved to perch on the stool beside him, watching him as I spoke, keeping my voice low and even. "Do you have a problem with something?"

Ben looked away, silent for a long moment. "No," he said finally, quietly. "No, no problem. Just a little worried about you."

"I'm fine," I replied, feeling more guilty at his concern. "I can take care of myself, don't worry about me."

"Yeah, you can." His mouth twisted a little, then he forced a smile, getting up. "I have a client coming in early, I have to get ready and head out. See you at the shop?"

"Okay." I watched him disappear into his room, not completely convinced that he was telling the full truth.

He was quiet through work, even quieter than normal. Ben wasn't generally the type to engage in long conversation while he worked unless he had a talkative client, but I'd become used to hearing him, to having   
him make remarks on my conversation once and awhile, or to comment on my work when he was between clients. Today the silence was uncomfortable, and I tried my best to lose myself in small talk with my clients without thinking about it.

He was quiet on the way home as well despite my efforts to draw him into conversation, giving short, noncommittal answers to my questions when he did at all, and when we finally got inside I decided I'd had enough.

"All right, Ben. Out with it."

Ben's eyes flicked up to mine, his face carefully calm. "Out with what?"

"You know bloody well what. You've hardly said a word all day. Why?"

His well-shaped lips thinned, shifting a little, he he looked away. "You know very well why."

"Believe it or not, I don't read minds. So out with it."

"Fine." Ben drew a slow breath, then let it out again, meeting my gaze. "Who did you go out with last night?" The words were cold, clipped, and I glanced away, suddenly wishing that I hadn't pushed the issue. 

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"I need it to not matter, Ben." I swallowed hard, staring down at the counter. "You need to let me do what I need to do," I said softly. "I want to be with you but I need my freedom. I need to be able to deal with things my way. Please."

Ben sighed, soft and helpless. Then he moved to stand in front of me, one hand reaching up to cup my face, urging me to look up and meet his gaze. Something dark and unquestionably jealous simmered in his blue eyes, and his voice was low, almost a growl. "Did he fuck you?"

The show of jealousy should have made me angry. Surprisingly, it made my knees go weak instead. "No," I managed to reply, suddenly breathless, my heart pounding in my chest.

"No?" Ben seemed to relax, his expression softening, and the jealousy faded into something a little softer, a little sad. His hand slipped down to rest on my shoulder. "Okay. All right. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," I echoed, reaching for him before I could stop myself, pressing close and letting my face rest against his hair. "I didn't mean to hurt you or worry you, I just... I don't quite know how to behave around you right now. I don't know what you want from me."

"You," he said softly, breath a warm sigh against my neck as he moved to place a kiss to my jaw. "Every part of you, Lar. I want you so badly I don't even know what to do with myself."

"Even now?" I managed to ask, and Ben gave a soft, helpless moan against my skin.

"Especially now," he told me, sliding his fingers up into my hair and drawing my lips to his.

I relaxed into him in relief, not quite realizing how much tension I'd been holding in until then, giving a soft whimper against his mouth as I yielded to his kisses. "Shhh," Ben breathed, fingers stroking through my hair as his other arm tightened around me, and I realized that I was trembling against him, my throat tight. "Shhh," he murmured again, kisses soft and gentle. "I know you left because of Amy. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I couldn't deny it, and I knew that any comment I made would just incriminate me further. "Bed," I said softly instead, just needing to feel him, to lose myself to him. "Please."

The fact that he tugged me into his room instead of mine left me feeling vulnerable, but I let myself get lost in his kisses, in the warmth of his body against mine as he pulled me down into bed with him. His kisses were hard and possessive, trembling a little as he claimed my mouth again and again, hands stroking over my back and sides, pulling me closer. "Need you," he murmured again, kisses hot as they trailed along my jaw.

Take everything you can from this, I reminded myself. Enjoy it for what it is. Make the most of everything you get. I knew what I wanted, and from what he'd said earlier, from his jealousy, I was pretty certain I knew what he wanted, too. I pulled back from his kisses to meet and hold the gaze of his blue eyes, finding the mix of desire and adoration in them almost overwhelming. I wet my lips, voice a murmur. "Ben. Ben, make love to me. Please."

He drew a sharp hiss of breath, and claimed my lips again, hard and hot and demanding, pushing me back so he could pin me to the bed. I groaned helplessly into his mouth, arching up against him and wishing very much that we'd taken the time to get rid of clothes. I felt almost painfully hard already, trapped by the tightness of my jeans, and I could feel him just as hard against me, shudders of pleasure rushing through me with each rock of his hips. I found myself stroking his back restlessly, slipping my hands down into his jeans to cup the taut muscles of his ass, craving more sensation. "Off," I muttered against his mouth, tugging at his jeans. "Too many bloody clothes."

Ben laughed breathlessly against my mouth, shifting and letting me pull his shirt over his head before doing the same to mine. His mouth fell to my chest as he started to tug my jeans undone, kissing my skin wetly before sucking on a nipple. "God, you have no idea how gorgeous you are," he murmured, slipping a hand into my boxers, groaning as he took me in hand. "Love how hard you are, you have no idea what it fucking does to me...."

I bit my lip on a groan as I arched up into his touch, patience wearing thin. I knew I should want to take my time with this, but I felt too vulnerable, needed him too badly. I arched my hips to push my jeans and boxer shorts down, giving a murmur of thanks as he helped me, kicking them off the end of the bed. "You next," I told him, leaning forward to catch his mouth as I tugged his jeans undone, finally getting them off, finally wrapping my hand around the girth of his cock. "Oh god, I want your huge cock inside me...."

"Gonna give me a complex if you aren't careful," Ben chuckled against my mouth, sitting up and straddling my hips as he reached over to dig in the bedside drawer for supplies. His gaze was hungry as he sat back, fingers splayed against my skin as he stroked one hand down my chest and over my stomach before curling around my cock, stroking me slowly from root to tip. 

I let my eyes fall closed at the rush of pleasure, arching shamelessly underneath him, voice a breathless moan. "Oh god, Ben...."

He shifted to lay against my side, rocking against my hip as he caught my mouth with his own, kisses warm and deep and almost maddeningly slow as he stroked me. "Want me to suck you off while I finger you open?"

The idea sounded amazing, but at this stage I knew I wouldn't last long if he did. I gave my head a little shake, pulling one knee up for him, fingers tangling in his hair to hold him to my kisses. "Just kiss me," I murmured, drawing a sharp gasp against his mouth when slick fingers worked back to stroke against me, pressing two inside me carefully. I tried to relax against him, but it had been longer than I'd let on since I'd last let someone fuck me, and my body wasn't used to this.

"God, you're tight," Ben murmured, working his fingers in me in slow, gentle thrusts, crooking his fingers to brush the tips gently against my sweet spot. I cried out breathlessly against his mouth, shuddering against him, feeling overwhelmed by intensity and pleasure. Ben nuzzled my cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my eye, fingers still moving in me slow and careful. "You sure about this?"

"Please," I gasped, trying to rock against him, the ache of need inside me so more than just physical. "Jesus Christ, Ben, please, more...."

"Just don't want to hurt you," he murmured claiming my mouth in another warm kiss as he worked another finger inside me, fucking me slow but insistently until the ache had all but faded, until I was trying to arch up against his fingers, almost mindlessly aroused and craving more sensation.

"Ben..." his name was a whimper on my lips, and I broke from his kisses to grope for the condom he'd tossed on the bed beside me, tearing it open. "Please...."

He gave a sharp hiss as I rolled it down his shaft, rocking into my touch eagerly. "Hands and knees, love," he murmured, easing his fingers away, leaving me empty and aching. I wanted to see him while he fucked me, but it would be easier to take him this way, so I moved to rest on all fours. I groaned and rocked back against him as he pressed against me, stroking his hands over my hips and ass as he let the length of his shaft slide between my thighs and against my sack.

"Christ, Ben...." I tried to wiggle closer to him, on edge from arousal and anticipation. Thankfully he didn't make me wait, leaning over to press a warm kiss to the nape of my neck as he eased inside me with gradual thrusts.

For a moment, I couldn't breathe, overwhelmed by sensation, by the shuddering ache of my body stretching around him. He was thicker than I'd anticipated, but somehow just what I needed, and I forced myself to press closer to him, gasping as he slid deeper. Ben curled around me as we slowly rocked together, mouthing trembling kisses at the back of my neck, voice low and almost overwhelmed. "Oh god, Lar. You feel so good. So good, so tight, oh my god...."

The intensity in his words was intoxicating, and it didn't take my body long to adjust, though I still felt incredibly on edge as he began to move a little harder in me, burying himself to the hilt in slow, smooth strokes. He was so thick that every thrust put pressure on my prostate, sending a flood of sensation through me and making me cry out helplessly.

Ben slowed, pressing a warm kiss to my shoulder. "Is this okay?"

"Hell yes," I gasped, rolling my hips back against him and crying out again at another surge of pleasure, whimpered words hardly making sense as they fell from my lips. "So good, bloody huge cock, every time - god, more - !"

He shifted to kneel up and grab hold of my hips, picking up the pace as I'd asked, the onslaught of pleasure leaving me overwhelmed and gasping for breath. "So gorgeous," he gasped, fingers kneading my hips as he bucked harder into me. "So perfect, fucking you, so beautiful, Lar, oh god...!"

"Ben - " I gasped helplessly, whimpering as he slowed again. "Oh god, please...."

Ben leaned over to kiss the nape of my neck breathlessly, burying himself hard and deep inside me with every thrust. He nipped at the crook of my neck, voice throaty and a little desperate. "Tell me you won't go out like that again. Tell me you're mine."

I liked the thought of it too much. I closed my eyes, crying out as he hit up against my prostate again, a rush of sensation flooding through me. But it wasn't a promise I could make. "I can't do that...."

He slowed, pausing and pressing his face to the back of my neck, his breath a long sigh. Then he placed a soft kiss on my skin, rocking deep into me, slow and smooth, the press of his cock against my sweet spot agonizingly, overwhelmingly good. "This, then. No one fucks you but me."

"Yes," I was gasping before I could stop myself, resting on my forearms for deeper penetration and rocking back onto his cock, reveling in how good it felt to be stretched so full around him. "Oh god yes, Ben, fuck me...."

His reply was a wordless groan, rocking into me a little harder, nipping at the crook of my neck. With his weight on one arm beside mine, I felt the other smooth around my waist to curl his fingers around my cock, letting each thrust push me into his grasp. It was more than I could take, and in moments I was in the throes of one of the most intense orgasms I could remember, pleasure bursting white hot and intense through every nerve of my body as I cried out, shuddering against him.

I was aware of my name on Ben's lips, gasped and almost helpless, his hips bucking into me a few more times, the sensation unbearably intense before I felt him pulse inside me and come, face pressed to my skin with a throaty cry.

For a moment I couldn't move, shivering against him with each gasp as I tried to catch my breath, tried to bring myself back to reality. I felt more vulnerable than I had in a long time after sex, and part of me just wanted to stay in this moment, stay with Ben's form wrapped around me and lips pressed gently to my skin, to stay like this and to never face reality again.

"You okay, handsome?" he murmured finally, nuzzling the back of my neck, and I managed to give a soft, affirmative hum, whimpering as his softening cock slipped from my body. "Stay here," he murmured, and I shifted onto my side as he left me, feeling suddenly cold and empty without him.

Ben returned soon enough, though, tossing a towel down on the bed and pressing close to me again, wrapping his arms around me and giving a little dismayed noise at my shiver. "You cold?"

"A bit," I said, because it was easier to explain than to say that it was from nerves. Ben sat up to pull the quilts over us, tugging me close and urging me to nestle my face against his chest, hands stroking warm over my arms and back.

Ben placed a soft kiss to my hair, breath a warm sigh. "Thank you," he murmured, fingers stroking up to curl in the back of my hair. "God, Lar... the way I feel when we're together...."

"I know," I said softly, because I couldn't bear to hear him say it. Not when my heart ached so much. I love you, I wanted to say, against all rhyme and reason. Instead I drew back to press my lips to his gently, to search his eyes. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

The soft, happy moan and the kiss that he pressed to my lips were all the answer I needed.

~~~


	6. Chapter 6

**Daniel Schreber**

 

When John asked me for dinner, it had left me more unsettled than I'd let on. It was hard not to be flustered by John. It was more than just his being famous, and making amazing music, and being good looking - very good looking. It was even more than the fact that he was in my industry - or rather, the industry I so badly wanted to be involved in, though that was definitely part of it. No... more than anything it was the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, the way he always seemed to make my stomach tie up in knots. He'd asked me to dinner, yes, but even then... I still had no idea what he wanted from me.

Then, a few days after he'd asked me for dinner, the email had arrived in my inbox.

_'Mr. Carson,_

_I'm looking for a Visual Effects artist to work with me for a nighttime set at the Pagoda for Shambhala. My previous artist has unfortunately become unavailable. I was impressed by your portfolio and concept work online and hope you can bring a fresh set of eyes to the scene. Please let me know if you are interested and available. If so, we will set up a meeting and you can show me your ideas._

_Thank you in advance,  
Richard'_

I stared at the email, pulse racing. The name didn't jump out at me automatically, but then again I knew more DJs by their stage names than their real ones. And a nighttime set at Shambhala... that was a big deal. I'd never been, but before I'd gotten so busy at school, and May at the shop, she and I had always meant to. It seemed every Canadian we met at Electric Daisy Carnival raved about the festival, and even some locals who'd travelled all the way up to BC to attend.

It would be easier to come up with a plan if I knew who my client was. I pulled up the Shambhala website and immediately found myself smiling.

_**Shambhala Music Festival is pleased to announce special headlining guest: DJ Chessure** _

I found myself giving a soft laugh of relief under my breath, barely scanning the rest of the article - something about agreeing to fill in when their previous headliner had to cancel, and agreeing to play at both the Pagoda and the Village stages. The details didn't matter. The email was from John, it had to be. Someone must have sent him to my portfolio. Despite helping some of the acts at last year's EDC, I simply didn't have enough industry contacts or experience to attract the attention of a major artist otherwise.

I re-opened my email, taking a deep breath to try and calm my excitement before replying.

_'Dear Richard,_

_It would be my pleasure to work on your show for the Pagoda. I have some staging ideas that I believe will help you create a larger-than-live impression without breaking the bank. I can have some mock-up designs ready for you as early as Monday evening, if you are free. Please let me know what is convenient for you._

_Sincerely,  
Daniel Carson'_

"You look happy about something."

I turned to find my lover in the doorway to my bedroom, showered, dressed and pristine. When he could escape the office in the evening we generally came to my apartment to spend some time together before I had to go to MGM for the evening's shows. I gave a soft, happy laugh, securing my robe around me as I got up and wrapping my arms around his neck to give him a warm kiss. "I think I might have a gig. A real one."

"Oh?" Frank gave me a fond smile, fingers stroking my back through my robe. "Tell me about it?"

"Well, John - at least, I'm almost completely certain it's John, because he's just been announced to take over headlining at Shambhala and I can't imagine how anyone else of note would have known to contact me in the first place - in any case, he emailed to ask for some ideas and a meeting for his show at the Pagoda!"

Frank was still smiling, though his eyebrows crinkled a little. "I'm afraid this is all Greek to me, dear. But it sounds like a big opportunity."

"It's an amazing opportunity," I assured him. "I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten it if it hadn't been for meeting him at the shop. Thank you."

Frank chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to my hair. "If someone's noticed how talented you are, it's all your own doing, love. I'm happy for you. Should I pick you up after work tonight and we can celebrate?"

The idea made me even happier, and I nodded. Julie opened the Rose on Friday morning, so there was no rush for either me or Frank to go anywhere. I could take my macbook with me, sleep late, work on my mock-ups in bed, make love....

I leaned up to kiss him warmly, smiling against his mouth at the soft, appreciative hum he gave against mine. "It sounds perfect."

~~~

 

My mysterious client had agreed to meet me Monday evening, so I went to work on my designs. In fact, the most difficult thing was choosing what exactly to show him. I was able to get a site layout for the Pagoda stage, which was the festival's main stage, and loaded it into my venue simulation software. After going through a hundred ideas - much to Frank's amusement - I finally settled on something and put it together.

It was only after leaving the Rose for the meeting that I began to feel nervous. What if it wasn't John after all? What if, regardless of all my work, he didn't like my designs?

I mustered up a brave smile for the woman at the VIP check in desk at the Bellagio, where we'd arranged to meet. "Pardon me. My name is Daniel Carson, I'm here for a meeting in office C?"

"Of course, Mr. Carson." She passed a key card across the desk to me. "The other parties arrived slightly before you. Please don't hesitate to call us if you need anything for your meeting."

"Thank you," I replied, taking the card. For a moment I panicked - was I late? I double-checked my watch, and the clock in the hall, and breathed a sigh of relief. I still had a few minutes to spare. Finding the room, I took a deep breath, then slid the key card into the reader, knocking lightly on the door before opening it.

The door was tugged open of its own accord, and I saw Leon on the other side, relief rushing through me. He gave a nod and a warm smile. "Good afternoon, Daniel."

"Good to see you, Leon." I followed him into the room, my smile widening as I turned to John, who sat at in chair next to the office's large mahogany desk. "Good evening, John. Or should I say... Richard?"

John grinned and shrugged. "I wanted to see what you'd come up with if you didn't know it was me. I'm guessing I wasn't very successful."

I chuckled softly, setting my laptop case down beside the desk and taking out my macbook, turning it on. "The announcement about you headlining Shambhala was all over the website. It wasn't difficult to figure out."

"Fair enough," John replied, though he didn't seem too put out. He motioned to the other chair beside the desk as Leon leaned back against the window ledge. "Show me what you've got?"

"All right." I reminded myself to focus on my work, my ideas, and not the man beside me, pulling open my venue simulator. It was a rough 3D model that was easy to manipulate - panning the camera around the room, moving and adding structures, even colour. "This is the layout of the Pagoda stage," I started, bringing up the blank stage. "It's a huge space, but because it's so huge it makes it more difficult to create an experience. The current stage by itself is effective if you're in this pocket here on the ground, but once you're more than about fifty feet away from the stage you can't really see much beyond the top of the pagoda. Even the two story pagodas back here don't help out much. So you need something big and grand to fill the space. More than just shining coloured lights on trees."

"Agreed. What do you think?"

In a few keystrokes, I'd added my scene. "We use the pine trees stage right to hang a rig with six long screens, or scrims if you'd rather, like rays of the sun. Anchor them to the ground. If they're long and thin they won't catch the wind as much as one giant scrim. It's simple, effective and easily customizable, and it will match the asian theme of the stage. Then, on the other side of the stage..." I hit a few keys, then held my breath.

I watched John smile slowly. "You're going to build me a dragon?"

"A silk dragon puppet," I agreed, smiling a little., "We object map it so we can project whatever we want onto it. Colour, stars, fire, machinery... whatever rave candy you'd like. Just let me know if you have any specific requests to match your set list and I'll start building the visualizations."

John was practically beaming, and it warmed me to the tips of my toes. "And you can be free to come with us to Shambhala?"

"Certainly. And if you'll forgive me for asking, John, do you have something in mind for your second set at The Village Stage?"

If possible, he looked even more excited. "Do you have any ideas? I really want to do something more than just lights because Sunday is the biggest night, but the themed set up in the Village is already so elaborate...."

I gave a little idle wave of my hand. "The Village is easy, we just draw up a couple of screens on the inside of the big epcot dome that surrounds the front of the dance floor, I can map the projectors to a concave surface without a problem. I have something I've been working on for quite some time that I think would work well, if you'd like to hear about it?"

"You're incredible in your element," John murmured, sitting back in his chair. "Please do."

I was too excited to even feel flustered, and it was hard to keep myself from smiling. I'd wanted to sell this idea to someone for ages, and more than anything I felt like John would be the perfect fit for it. "Are you familiar with a Swiss Magician named Marco Tempest?"

John appeared to think for a moment, then shook his head. "No, I don't think so."

"He's a magician that works with augmented reality," I told him. "It's kind of similar to what we do at KA. He uses infrared sensing cameras to track his movements, and an interactive computer program is designed to track and detect certain kinesthetic cues, and instantly overlay video animation on top of them. For KA, the effects are projected on top of the artists onto the stage or screen behind them. Tempest's effects are just looped into a video that plays behind him, so in real life everything looks normal, but the video looks supernatural. The problem is that infrared technology is imperfect, which is why it's not used very often for live performance. You have to control the conditions it's used in so that things like wind and ambient temperature don't affect the motion detection. Plus, most applications of infrared technology in Visual Effects - like that Reactrix you see in malls all the time - project the image behind the person, so you end up with all those shadows, inexact calibration... it's sloppy."

John nodded slowly as he listened, a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "You've figured out some way to fix it.

"Yes." My heart was pounding, and I couldn't stop from smiling. "My program combines the input from the infrared with regular rhythm and sound visualization programing to match the beat of the music, and input from tiny, lightweight sensors to give more exact definition to what the infrared should be detecting. They're much more precise than just infra-red alone, and they can be used on things that don't give off heat, like a wand or batons, or poi."

"Or a hula-hoop?" He asked, smile widening, and I nodded.

"Precisely. And everything is rendered in real time onto HD video that you project onto screens. Imagine this - you have two dancers on stages, anyone you like, they require no special training beyond the ability to dance or spin or hoop. You attach small, lightweight bands to their wrists and ankles and waist and around the crown of the head, and give them your own hoop with the sensors inside. Then as they dance, the video projected behind you can be anything you want. The hoop spins and gives off stars or flame or fireworks. The Poi trail pixydust through the air. Or the dance movements leave behind multi-coloured after trails. With a little more development we could partner with a 3D animation studio for future shows and my program could even transform them into something else entirely. You could have Alice spinning Poi in real time on your screen."

I sat back, realizing I'd been speaking about a million miles a second, and watched John. He looked almost stunned, eyebrows knitting together as he tried to take it in. "That would be a hell of a thing on Acid." He glanced to Leon. "What do you think?"

"I'd have to see it first," Leon said slowly, "But if it does everything he says it can... the show would practically sell itself. God, we could have different dancers in every city. We could do two or three nights in the same city and the shows would be completely." He glanced over to me. "Can you show us?"

That wasn't as easy. "A little," I told him. "Other than my time I haven't had much to invest in equipment, and I didn't want to involve any backers that might demand control of the project. But I can show you how the program works with two sensors. Will you pull the curtains while I set up, please?"

It didn't take long to pull open the computer on my macbook. It was already integrated with the computer's camera, and it was easy for me to attach the tracking device for the sensors to the top of the monitor and calibrate it to the video. I pulled out a slim hard case from my laptop bag, taking out a pair of white fingerless gloves with sensors on the palms, handing them to John. "Put these on and slide your chair back against the wall, if you please."

"Me?" He took them gingerly. "But I don't...."

"Exactly," I replied, smiling. "It's easy, just try it." I stood as I spoke, turning on the desk lamp and pointing it at him, turning off the overhead lights to darken the rest of the room. Then I activated the program, glancing over at him. "Just move."

John waved a hand through the air, starting visibly at the trail of golden pixie-dust that followed in his wake on the screen. "Hey, that's pretty cool."

"With the infrared engaged as well it looks 3D," I explained, smiling as I watched him continue to play with the gloves. "It knows where your body is and makes it look like the effects are surrounding you instead of just overlaid in front of you. Make a sharp motion with your hand, flick your wrist."

John did as I asked, grinning as it set off a burst of light on camera. "That's fucking awesome! I could wear these while I spin and film from above. It would be so epic!"

"You could," I agreed, surprised I hadn't thought of it before. "Here, let me show you what happens when you add music." I had Jabberwock queued up on my iTunes, and switched programs just long enough to start it before turning back on the visualizations. Now the pixie dust flared and changed colour to the beat of the music, flaring brighter as the bass grew louder. John played for a few minutes, grinning much like the character his DJ persona was named after, then looked up at me. "How much do you want? Do I write you a check now or later?"

I laughed softly, shutting down the program and turning off the music. "Well, it depends on what you want. If you just want this for Shambhala, then we negotiate a price based on the cost of the equipment and my time. I keep control of everything, and you have the option to hire me for additional shows afterward, but I have the right to work for anyone I like."

John had taken the gloves off but still held onto them, seeming almost unwilling to hand them back. He leaned forward in his chair. "And if I want exclusivity?"

I took a deep breath. "Then we sign a two year contract, and I become your head visual engineer. You pay me a base salary and a percentage of all concert and video profits. The proprietary software remains my property, but you have exclusive access to it and can direct further development any way you please during those two years."

Leon had opened the curtains again, and turned to me. "And if we wanted to implement a scaled down version of the technology at Wonderland and have you run it for us?"

"I'm completely yours for two years," I told him.

"Sold," John proclaimed, and Leon shot him a dirty look.

"My client and I will talk this over and let you know," he said, still giving John a hard look, who pouted.

"But we have less than three months before Shambhala...."

Leon sighed, then looked back at me. "We'll go ahead with Shambhala. Both the designs for the Pagoda and the visualizations for the Village. Draw up a proposal along and a list of the materials you'll need and any budget and sources you have already and we can go over it at his next appointment and get you an advance payment."

I took a USB key from the front pocket of my bag and handed it to him. "Already done. Let me know what you think at the appointment or if you have any existing sources you'd rather use."

Leon raised his eyebrows as he took it from me. "You were pretty confident about being able to sell this to us. Why haven't you sold it before?"

I glanced away, feeling a little shy and smiling to try and cover it. "I only finished school a year ago. I'm not exactly well known in the field yet. I wanted to make sure I had some solid hands-on technical experience with Ka and a bit of a network before setting out independently. You're the first artist who's asked me to collaborate as the lead designer."

"I told you that getting tattooed was a good idea," John said to Leon a little triumphantly, and I chuckled as his manager rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for coming in, Daniel. We'll talk again on Tuesday," Leon told me, and smiled. "I think this will work out really well." He shook my hand as he passed, stepping out into the hall.

John stood as well, setting the gloves down on the desk by my macbook before taking my hand as well. He held to it, though, catching my gaze with soft smile and the same kind of intensity in his green eyes that he'd had the first time we met, and I felt my stomach flip flop.

"I'm looking forward to working with you," he said softly, fingers clasped warm and secure around mine. "Don't listen to Leon, I don't need a trial run to know what I want. The last time I hired someone on intuition alone I got him, and he's the best thing that's ever happened to my career. You've given me a lot more than just intuition to go on. I don't want anyone else to have you but me."

My heart had started pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it, and I swallowed hard, feeling the tips of my ears burn and trying to find my voice. "I - okay."

John's lips parted, and for a moment he looked very much like he wanted to say something else. Then he glanced away, his small smile almost sad looking. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to fluster you. I am really looking forward to working with you."

"Thank you," I said softly, feeling a little more myself now that I was out of the gaze of his eyes. "I really appreciate the opportunity."

He nodded, squeezing my hand gently before letting go of it. "See you soon," he said, and followed Leon out the door.

~~~

 

**Ben Carson**

 

I never anticipated the impact Larry would have on my life. It felt like a miracle and a catastrophe all at once. I knew from the beginning that it was a mistake to get involved, to act on what I was feeling. But when I was with him, when I kissed him... when he smiled at me it felt like my heart would burst from happiness.

I couldn't bring myself to give that up.

I began to hate myself for making that damn promise to Amy. I knew it was hard on Larry, regardless of what he said about it, and I hated myself more for upsetting him. Part of me felt like I'd already broken my promise anyway, like I should just call her up and be done. What was the point of waiting when my heart already belonged to someone else? But I'd promised her, promised she wouldn't have to deal with another breakup while she was away, and I felt like after all the time we'd been together I owed her that much at least. To apologize and tell her to her face.

The tiniest, darkest corner of my mind held on to the worst uncertainties, though. Everything that was happening with Larry - meeting, him moving in, falling in love... my life wasn't supposed to happen like that. Amy was supposed to transfer to a local show, we were supposed to settle down and get married. I'd been paying a good deal extra towards the mortgage payments on my house so that when she was ready we could afford to lower the payments and start a family. We were supposed to grow old together, she was supposed to be my happily ever after. Part of me worried that when she came back, my heart would remember that, and I'd regret leaving her and resent Larry for it.

I knew I was thinking too much about it. So when I was with Larry I just tried to stop thinking. I'd worried, at first, that it was just sex for him. But when he finally let me make love to him, when he finally stayed the night in my arms... I think that was the end for me.

It was so easy to fall in love with him.

A week later I came home from the gym to find him sitting cross legged in front of my coffee table, working on a large design. I gave a curious smile. "No run today?"

"I left early, I wanted to get back and finish this," he replied, looking up at me with a smile that was strangely shy. "Will you come tell me what you think of it?"

There were several discarded design papers laid out on the floor beside the coffee table, but I ignored them, sitting down on the couch behind him, resting my hands on his shoulders as I looked over the design. I recognized it immediately from what we'd been talking about and felt my lips part, felt a surprising sense of wonder come over me. "That's... that's my Sakura Dryad."

Larry twisted to look up at me anxiously. "Is she alright? I'm not quite certain about the fit, so I might have to re-draw her, and I - "

"She's perfect," I said softly, leaning down to kiss him and feeling him relax against me. "She's beautiful. Thank you."

Larry smiled against my lips, stroking his fingers up into my hair. "Then she suits you."

"Because she'll be your work," I returned, feeling warm and happy.

He drew back a little. "I know you have appointments right until nine tonight, but unless I take a walk-in my last hour is free. So I was thinking - if you want, of course - I can use it to finish the design and get set up to start on this and order some dinner and then when I'm done we can get the shop keys from Julie and just do as much work on this as you like?"

"I'd really like that," I said softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead, nuzzling his hair. "Thank you."

Truth told, I was far more excited about this tattoo than I had been in a long time. Most of my work was done by friends, which was the way I liked it. Morgan was the one who had managed to tie my shitty blackwork together into decent sleeves, and May had done the ravens flocked around my calf. The Chairman himself had done the elaborate koi backpiece that trailed down onto my ass - which had been how we'd met, how I'd ended up at the Rose. And Cherry had, appropriately, done my cherry tree. It was a roadmap of the artists who were important to me, I'd always said. But I'd never wanted so badly for someone else to ink me before now.

Perhaps it was the uncertainty. But if things didn't work out between us... I wanted a piece of Larry with me forever.

When we reached the shop, the waiting room was full of clients. Strange, when most of the others should have started work already. Daniel looked up at me worriedly. "Frank asked me to keep everyone here and send you into Mr. Saito's office as soon as you came in," he said. "He's called a staff meeting. You're the last ones here."

"A staff meeting?" I stared at him dumbly for a moment. "We never have staff meetings."

"You two better come," said Frank, appearing in the doorway, looking strangely angry. We followed him into the back, finding Morgan and May perched on his bed outside Saito's office, Cherry fussing with her station. She hurried over to us as we came in. "Do you two know what's going on? Frank won't say anything and Saito just said there's a meeting and I don't like surprise meetings because they usually mean things are changing and that's just all bad!"

"I'm sure everything's fine," Larry said, forcing a smile, and I could tell he was worried too.

It didn't take long for us to settle in Saito's office, the girls perched on the tattoo bed while Morgan took the stool. Larry half-perched on the low file cabinet sitting in front of the window. I was more comfortable standing.

Frank closed the door and leaned back against it, shooting Saito a look that seemed none too pleased. "They're all yours, boss."

I'd liked Saito immediately when I'd first met him, shortly before I'd come to work at The Desert Rose. He was rather distinguished looking Japanese man in what I guessed was his late forties, who tended towards well tailored and expensive business suits, even when he tattooed. He'd been working less hours over the past year, but I didn't blame him. As far as I knew he could charge what he wanted, and he always had a wait list. I always considered myself very lucky to have been able to work under him.

Saito looked over all of us, and let out a long, soft sigh. "My friends. You are all some of the finest artists I have ever had the pleasure of working with, and it is with great sorrow and my deepest apologies that I meet with you here today. I am afraid that I will soon be leaving Las Vegas. My partner has accepted a position in Los Angeles, and as it is very important for me to remain with my family, I will be taking advantage of the move for an early retirement."

Cherry's eyebrows knit together in distress. "You're leaving us?"

"More than that, I'm afraid." Saito glanced down, quiet for a moment before continuing on. "What most of you do not know is there was an offer made a few months ago by a Mr. Michael Moran to purchase this property and the Rose for seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I will be taking him up on this offer at the end of August."

"Wait a minute." It was Morgan who spoke up this time, giving Saito a hard look. "Michael Moran? The asshole that runs those reality TV shows? You're seriously selling the Rose to Michael Moran?"

"Currently, yes."

Morgan gave a little disbelieving shake of his head. "Do you have any idea what he does to the shops he buys? He fills them full of chachi douchebags who don't know the end of a gun from their own elbow just because they're famous. Then he films those shitty TV shows makes money off the drama. We'll all be out the door the second he takes ownership."

The name wasn't familiar to me, but the TV series was. "I heard about what he did to Liberty Ink in New York. It's disgusting."

"He'll probably keep you," Morgan pointed out. "You're the biggest name."

I snorted. "Fuck if I'm staying without you guys. You go, I'm with you."

"But I'm booked up for over six months," May nearly wailed, "I can't leave at the end of August!"

Saito gave a slow nod. "I am aware that Mr. Moran is known for making changes in staff, and that you may not wish to stay under new ownership. I've contacted a number of parlours in town that will have empty beds come September, you may choose to take your client list to them. As a further measure of my respect, I will be reducing the shop's portion of your earnings to twenty percent beginning today. Please accept my deepest apologies... especially you, Mr. Byrne. I know you've travelled a long way to join us."

Larry had been quiet through all of this, and his voice was low when he spoke. "Is there anything we can do to change your mind?"

"About my family? No. However...." Finally I saw a ghost of a smile on Saito's lips, and he turned his gaze directly on me. "If someone else... an established artist, perhaps, was to match Mr. Moran's offer then I would be more than happy to sell the Rose to someone who loved her."

"Seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars is a ridiculous price for this business!" Frank had been silent until now, and the words were nearly an explosion of fury. "We barely broke two hundred grand in profits last year. No one buys a tattoo parlour for seven hundred and fifty grand! Even if the property's included!"

"He's buying our reputations," May said angrily. "If the Rose is worth that much it's because of us! He's going to buy her and ruin her and it's not fair!"

"Life is rarely fair," Saito said quietly. "So the secret is to decide what is important to you and what you will fight for. Now, it's ten am and I believe you all have clients to see, so I will not keep you any longer."

Dismissed, I left the room and made my way to my station, feeling dazed. Larry's soft touch to my shoulder distracted me, and I managed a smile. "Hey. You okay, Lar?"

"I'm kinda shitty," he replied frankly. "You?"

"I don't know what to think," I said, starting to set up for the day. "I can't imagine being anywhere else."

"The Chairman seemed to be hinting that you should buy her."

I gave a soft sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "I don't know. Coming up with that kind of money - even if I managed to get some kind of a loan I'd still have to remortgage my house, I'd have to talk to Amy, I - "

He looked away quickly, and I felt a pang of guilt. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to apologize, and I really wished that we weren't in the shop. "Well, I guess I might as well make hay while the sun shines regardless." I returned to the waiting room, giving a nod to my ten am, who was waiting by the desk. "Good morning, Lacey, I'll be right with you."

Daniel still looked worried as he looked up at me. "What's going on?"

I let out a long sigh, glancing around the room. "I can't discuss it here, ask Frank. I need you to do something for me, though. You have access to my cancellation list and my wait list, right?"

Daniel nodded, eyebrows knit together.

"I need you to call them for me. Book me solid from ten to ten, Monday through Saturday, right up until the end of August."

Daniel's eyes widened. "Ben, you can't do that!"

I'd expected him to balk. and I placed a hand over his on the counter, giving a light squeeze. "Fifteen minutes free between appointments, then, all right? I'll eat, little one. But I'll need you to do this for me."

"Me too, please. Other than my time off in August. But please book me solid around it." May had come up behind me from the washroom, looking a little like she need to reapply her eyeliner. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder to give her a tight squeeze, feeling her shiver against me. "I'm okay," she said quickly, looking up at me and giving me a too-bright smile. "I'd better get to work."

The attitude in the shop was somber throughout the day, with even Cherry being unusually quiet. The only one who managed to keep up any kind of conversation was Larry, but I'd begun to recognize his small talk as the coping mechanism that it was. Daniel kept DVDs playing on the flat screen TVs - meaningless, action filled fantasy and fantasy flicks - and it made things a bit more bearable. He'd stepped in halfway through the morning to give me a tight hug. "I've booked you solid, Ben. Even your Mondays. They know it's subject to change." He wet his lips, still looking worried. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You any good at hand massage?"

Daniel regarded me seriously. "I could learn."

I chuckled, giving my head a little shake. "I'm all right, dear. I might teach you how to set up my station if you're really up for it."

"Happily, dear heart. I'm going to order Thai for lunch..." he glanced over the shop. "Thai subs, anyone?"

Cherry perked up for the first time since the morning. "Oh my god Daniel, could I please have the biggest ovaltine bubble tea they sell? I really, really need something bubbly in my life right now."

I watched Daniel as he moved around the room taking requests, feeling a strange, melancholy sense of nostalgia. It was hard to imagine the possibility of this being over. Maybe I should think seriously about what Saito had said. But was it even possible?

During my next break I took my sub to Frank's office, finding him eating with Daniel. My brother got up to leave, but I waved him back down, pulling over the stepping stool from the storage area to perch on and unwrapping my sub. "What do you think about all of this, Frank?"

"Other than being severely pissed off at the prospect of being out of a job at the end of August?" Frank leaned back in his chair, looking at me evenly. "I think we shouldn't let that TV asshole buy our Rose."

"So you think I should buy her, too. Why me?"

"You've been here the longest," Frank said, ticking items off on his fingers. "You're the most renowned, everyone already looks up to you, you book the most hours so logically they figure you have the most money, and you're the only one who has any kind of major asset to your name."

I snorted and glanced away. "I don't know if I'm willing to remortgage my house, Frank. Even if I did, where the hell am I going to come up with seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars?"

"If you had a loan you'd only need about thirty percent of the principal," Frank started, but I shook my head.

"That's what, two fifty? That's worth more than my house. And I've still got at least fifteen years left on my mortgage."

"Ben," Daniel said softly, "Eat."

I snorted and took a bite of my sub. It was delicious, though, and the sustenance calmed my nerves a little. "Look, Frank. I'm not saying I've decided not to do it. I just honestly don't know if I can. Even if I could get the money together, I've never run a business, I don't know the first thing about any of this."

Frank snorted. "Who do you think has been running this place for the past four years? You wouldn't need to do anything unless you decided to turf me, Ben. I'll keep you running and I'll keep you profitable. There's a few things I can look into in terms of financing, too. I just need to know if you're with me to save the shop."

I looked over at my brother, then gave a slow nod. "All right. I'm in."

It felt like the decision put me back on my feet, and by the time I finally had my session with Larry that night I was able to set it aside and talk and laugh with him like we always did. Still, as we curled in bed together later that night after making love, I was struck with a sudden sense of how fragile everything really was, how everything could be torn away so easily.

Regardless of the bandage on my chest, I held him closer, as if hoping it could keep him with me forever.

~~~

 

**John Murdoch**

 

It was strange that after everything I'd done - touring North America and most of Europe and getting my residency in Vegas - that I was still so excited for Shambhala. Maybe it was the memories; it had been one of the first festivals I'd went to, and the first purely electronic music festival I'd attended. I remembered hot, sunny days filled with light and colour and long, dark nights spent going from show to show, losing myself to music and dance.

Or maybe it was working with Daniel.

"Good morning, John." Daniel's smile was warm when I arrived for my appointment with Larry, and perhaps it was my imagination, but he seemed a little more at ease around me. "When would you like to see an update on your visualizations?"

I was surprised. "An update already? It's only been two weeks."

"Almost three," Daniel corrected me, smiling. "I hope you'll forgive me if I seem a little over-eager. It's exciting to finally have someone to create for."

God, he was adorable. "It's fine," I told him. "I'd love to meet. When are you off?"

"Four. Just after your appointment."

I smiled. "Well, that's convenient. I have Leon's car, we can go pick up your things and go for coffee?"

"I have my macbook here. Frank doesn't mind if I do my own work when it's slow. We can do coffee whenever you're ready to go."

It was a distracting thought that kept me occupied throughout my appointment, so much so that even Larry noticed. "You're quiet today. Have something on your mind?"

"Just Shambhala," I replied, which wasn't a complete lie. It was just mostly the Daniel part of Shambhala that occupied my thoughts. I'd accepted that he was unavailable, or at least at the moment. This wasn't going to be some kind of hook up, and I couldn't woo him. Surprisingly enough, it didn't make me lose interest in him. I briefly wondered if it was the fact that I couldn't have him... but I'd dealt with that before. There was just something incredibly endearing about Daniel that I couldn't escape.

After my appointment he directed me to a small coffee shop off the strip, which seemed organic and without the hustle and bustle of the more tourist frequented places in Vegas. I was glad of the opportunity to pick up something to eat, getting a sugary blended iced caramel something-or-other, and scone and raspberry jam. "Let me buy you a coffee?"

"Oh - ah, yes, thank you. A chai tea, if that's all right. They brew it in steamed milk here with the spices added and strained off. It's really delicious."

I found myself smiling as I watched him speak. "So this place is a local secret?"

"I suppose you could say that." He returned my smile a little shyly. "There are other places I can recommend, if you like. If you want to get away from the strip. Though May says your food is all included at TI...."

"And thank god they've got more than one restaurant, because I'm still getting kind of tired of the offerings. So, did May tell you just how she knows all this?"

He chuckled. "It's not difficult for me to tell when May is in love. Yes, I know about Anna. I hope it's okay with you? The relationship, I mean."

"My sister can sleep with anyone who's good to her," I replied, and shrug, taking my scone and putting the paper bag in my teeth before grabbing both our drinks. "M a liddle concern bout da whole secrecy sing, dough."

"What? Here." Daniel took his drink from me before sliding into a corner booth.

I took the bag out of my mouth. "When Larry and I caught them she didn't want us to tell anyone."

"Ah. May's parents keep trying to set her up with nice Christian boys, so she tends to keep things on the downlow. They paid for a good chunk of her art degree and never let her hear the end of it. But they're planning on moving down to Florida sometime this year, so I think the problem may solve itself."

"I suppose that makes sense," I mused, taking a bite of my scone. "Want some?"

"I'm all right, thank you." Daniel was quiet for a moment as his Macbook started up. "So... you and Larry...."

"Yeah?"

He glanced up at me, seeming a little more awkward than normal. "Um, you... he was at your place?"

"Just friends," I said, and shrugged. "I've been on the road a lot over the past couple of years, I've lost touch with a lot of people. Most of the people I could still call friends are back in New York. It's nice to connect to people here. Also it's nice to have someone to hit up the gay bar with, Leon's a bit of a stiff that way." I gave him a little smile, unable to resist the urge to tease him. "Why, are you jealous?"

Daniel's blush was almost instantaneous. "No! I don't - I mean, I'm just wondering because of Ben."

"Ah." I leaned back in my seat, sipping my drink. "Larry's in love with him, you know."

"Did he tell you that?" Daniel asked, almost too eagerly.

I shrugged. "Didn't really need to. What's Ben's deal, anyway? Everything seems so complicated. They just need to hook up and live happily ever after."

Daniel gave a soft snort, sipping his tea. "I'm the gay twin," he said, shrugging apologetically. "Ben always had Amy. Though he was always the one that got drunk and ended up with boys whenever they were broken up. It's possible he's slept with more men than I have."

I couldn't help but snicker. "Sounds pretty straight to me."

"Exactly," Daniel replied, chuckling. He leaned back against the back of the bench, taking another sip of his tea. "I was the one who wanted my life to be a grand adventure. Ben just wanted to get a job, get married and have kids. I don't think he would have even pursued tattooing if his girlfriend wasn't so accomplished, but he wanted to make some pretense at being the breadwinner."

"Do you think he'll ever figure out that he doesn't need to marry a woman for that to happen?"

"I hope so," Daniel said softly. "I haven't seen him so happy for ages as he is when he's with Larry." He was silent for a moment, looking a little troubled, then seemed to push it away. "In any case. Shambhala."

"Of course." I gave him an encouraging smile, watching him set up, though truthfully I was a little disappointed to get back to business. I enjoyed talking to him. Just talking, as friends would.

Daniel set up an ipad up on a small stand beside the macbook screen, pulling up a program on the computer and opening an ap that extended the computer screen onto the iPad. "It will be more impressive in big scale, of course. If we were at my place I'd use my flat screen. But you can imagine the overall effect."

"I didn't know you could do that," I said, motioning to the iPad, which now had a mapped outline of a white dragon on it.

Daniel's smile was proud. "I've picked up some tricks from my coworkers over the past year at Ka. We'll have synched projectors for your dragon, one from below and behind and one from the top of one of the pagoda huts at the back of the dance floor. The object mapping may not be precisely aligned because of the wind, but Leon and I were able to get some very good deals on a bulk supply of the little sensors we need for the dancers, so we'll mount some in the dragon, which will help. And I can adjust and calibrate as needed during the performance."

It was nice to sit back and just listen to him talk. He plugged a set of earphones into the macbook and gave me one, loading up samples of the visualizations he'd designed for the songs I'd given him that were definitely going to be in my setlist. I found myself nodding, picturing what it would look like on the night of the performance, feeling a slow warmth grow inside me.

"You're very passionate about this." I remarked, and watched Daniel glance up at me, a flush colouring the apples of his cheeks.

"I've wanted to do this for a very long time," he said softly. "Ever since May and I went to our first rave. I just found everything so otherworldly, so... magical. I wanted to help create that."

His words resonated with me, and I found myself smiling, nodding slowly. "It's why I started producing music," I told him. "We're going to make a hell of a pair, you know. We're so well matched."

Daniel looked away from me quickly, startled again. "I - yes, I hope so. If you decide to - I mean, if you keep me on...."

His reaction saddened me, and I let my hand rest lightly over his, hoping to reassure him. "I still make you nervous?"

"A little," he breathed, and gave a soft, slightly anxious laugh. "I'm sorry. It's - it's a whole lot of things, actually, not just you. I feel very foolish about it all, in truth."

"You're as much an artist as I am," I told him, trying to reassure him. "Just as talented in different ways. The world just doesn't know about you yet. Give it a year and I'll have to beat people off just to keep you."

Daniel's eyebrows quirked, and he fought back smile. "Beat people off, John?"

I burst out laughing. "So you do have a dirty mind. I like it."

"Secretly, yes." Daniel chuckled as well, relaxing a little against me, and I couldn't hold back the next words that came out of my mouth.

"You still with that guy?"

Immediately the tension was back, and Daniel looked away. "I - yes. I'm sorry, I...."

"Don't be," I said softly, touching his hand again and giving a soft squeeze. "I should be the one apologizing. And god, please don't think I'm working with you just to try and get into your pants, that's the last thing on my mind. I was just curious."

"All right," he replied, giving me a small, sad little smile that made me want very much to pull him to me and never let go.

"Let me take you home," I said instead, forcing a smile. "I'll get you samples of my new tracks as soon as I can so you can keep working, I really like everything you've shown me so far. I just need to iron out a few kinks. And when I hear back on about the rights on those video tracks I want to integrate I'll get them to you right away."

"Of course," Daniel said, pulling his hand out from under mine and starting to pack up. "Thank you, John. I'm really enjoying working with you."

"Me too," I said, wishing it was so much more than just that.

~~~


	7. Chapter 7

**Ben Carson**

Over the next couple of weeks we didn't speak much about the upcoming sale of the Desert Rose. It wasn't as though we were trying to keep it a secret, and more than a few clients found out. But for the most part, it felt as though if we didn't talk about it, it wasn't real.

"The good news," Frank told me one morning while I was waiting for a client, "Is if we can raise thirty percent of the cost to purchase all three major banks I've talked to have no problem extending the loan to us. The Rose is considered a very low risk financial venture. The bad news is, of course, raising two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I'm trying to see if I can get fifty against my apartment, but I'm not in the best shape. My ex wife tried to take me for everything I had."

I stared at him. "You were married?"

"For eight years. Almost right out of high school, unfortunately. Thank god we didn't have kids before I realized what a mistake that was." He chuckled, soft and rueful. "In any case, I think our best plan of action right now is to try and set up the shop as an employee-owned co-op. It's not completely unheard of for tattoo parlours. I'll talk to the others if you agree, unless you'd rather try to come up with two hundred grand?"

I snorted. "I wish. Bank says I can get maybe sixty or seventy as a loan against my house, and if I can keep up the overtime I'll have about twenty in cash by the end of August. Still leaves us short around one twenty. I would love it if anyone else wanted in on this."

"Okay." Frank hesitated for a moment, watching me. "Do you want to talk to Larry, or do you want me to? You seem to know him a bit better...."

I'd thought about asking Larry to go in on the shop with me, but the truth was I had no idea what kind of cash he had access to, if any. He'd said the Rose paid much better than almost all of the best shops in Dublin, both in the hourly rate and the percentage of it the artists got to take home, but he'd only just gotten to the place where he had enough clients to fill up his work week.

Besides... the idea of asking him if he'd consider buying the shop with me seemed like a much more permanent gesture than I think either of us were ready for. But if everyone was going to get involved in ownership... perhaps he'd consider it.

"I'll talk to him about it," I said, drawing together my courage. "Let me know what the others say."

"Thanks," He said and I started out to set up for my first client.

Frank caught me later in the day over lunch. "Cherry's says she's definitely in for at least twenty, and she'll try and pull some overtime. Darling girl says the shop's more important than the new car she's been saving for. Morgan says he's interested but he has to look into a few things before he can commit. May says she's absolutely in even if she has to beg her parents for money, but she's not sure how much she can scrounge together."

I winced. May's parents were both successful business owners and had sent her off to school to get her BA in preparation for an executive MBA. When they found out she'd switched into fine arts they cut off all funding, and while she'd managed to scrape by and finish her degree she'd ended up in tattooing because, as she'd told me, she needed to pay down her debt and it was either this or stripping.

"I don't think it'll be much," I told him, frowning. "I'll talk to Larry. We might have to figure out something else."

Frank nodded slowly, a little gravely. "I don't suppose Daniel...."

"He's still paying off his degree, too. There's a reason he's working two jobs."

"Right." Frank sighed, then straightened. "Well, I'll look into some more options. Let me know what Larry says."

The thought of broaching the subject to him still left me feeling nervous and uncertain, so I let it be. We'd planned to do another session on my chest piece after work, and I wanted to put away all the stress and uncertainty and just enjoy being inked.

The shop officially closed at nine, though it was common for appointments to go overtime as we tried to squeeze in a little more work. I'd started planning my sessions to go right until ten, as did May, and as we finished I was aware of the others tidying up and leaving. Larry finished at about quarter after, taking his client out for payment, then coming back to wipe down. "What should I bring in for food?"

"I don't know, something easy. Subway?" I glanced up at Larry and gave him a warm smile. "Thanks, Lar."

He returned my smile warmly. "Subway sounds great, I'll get the usual."

May looked up from her table. "Are you staying late to work on your chest piece? Can I see what you have so far now that it's healed?"

"I'll strip down once we're finished here," I replied with a little proud smile, going back to work.

I listened to Larry put in the call for the food, heading down a short time after to meet the delivery at the door. Our receptionist, Julie, came in and dropped her set of shop keys off on top of my supply cabinet, giving me a grin. "Have a good night, guys, don't work too hard. I'll see you next week."

"We'll make sure everything's tidy before we head out," I heard Larry assure her as he followed her downstairs to lock the door behind her.

When my client and I finally finished, the new work carefully bandaged, I took payment for him and May's client and saw them both out, locking up again behind them. Then I flicked off the lights for the sign outside before returning to May, who was spraying down her station. "You want to see now?"

"Of course." May grinned expectantly, watching me pull my shirt off over my head.

"I'd almost forgotten how ripped you are," May said, tossing the cleaning supplies and pulling off her gloves before coming forward. I could feel Larry's gaze on me out of the corner of my eye, but I tried not to look... he was too distracting as it was. May raised a hand to run her fingertips along the lines of the dryad's robes. We'd managed to get the linework and shading done in our previous session; today would be colour, and I was stoked. "This is really nice," May said, her voice impressed, stepping back to look over the whole thing. "I love the movement in her robes. Larry, this is gorgeous."

Larry had started on his sub and gave her a grin before swallowing. "Thanks. Just glad it matches everything else he's got." He nodded to the bagged sub he'd set on my table. "You should eat so we can get started."

I nodded and grabbed the bag, opening the sub to take a bite and turning back to May. "Want me to see you out?"

"Please," May replied, grabbing her things and following me downstairs to the door. She stopped on the threshold and looked up at me a little worriedly. "Ben... do you really think we'll be able to save the Rose?"

"I don't know," I told her truthfully, but gave her a brave smile. "But we'll damn well do our best."

She wrapped her arms around me unexpectedly, giving me a squeeze and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "Thanks," she said, heading off into the night.

I watched until she was safely in her car, then locked up the shop again, heading upstairs to where Larry was setting up. "Sorry to take so long."

He shrugged, and I perched on the stool beside my bed, watching him. "I don't mind. I'd just be sitting around the house, anyway." It was strange, but it seemed like things had been much easier since we had given in and started sleeping together on a regular basis, as if finally giving in to the inevitable had brought at least a temporary peace.

Larry glanced over at me as he finished up, smiling as if knowing my thoughts. Then he stepped closer, tilting my face up as he leaned down to kiss me. I leaned closer, unresisting, giving a soft moan against his mouth and stroking my hands up his thighs to grasp his jeans at the hips, tugging him down towards me. He moved to straddle my lap without hardly breaking from my mouth, kisses growing hungrier as his arms wrapped around me, one hand tangling in my hair. As our kisses heated he became possessive, almost demanding, fingers stroking over my bare shoulders and arms, over the lines of ink he'd put on my chest.

"Let's take a break before we start," I breathed, stroking his hips and thighs restlessly, craving more sensation. I was already half hard, desire teased and stoked by the weight of him on my lap, the idea of things to come. I smoothed my hands back to grab his ass and pull him closer, satisfied at the press of his hard cock against me through his jeans.

"You talking about having sex right here in the shop?" he asked against my mouth, hips grinding slowly against mine, sending a shudder of arousal up my spine.

"Fuck yes," I replied, fingers almost kneading his ass, and at that moment it seemed like I couldn't possibly do anything but.

He laughed breathlessly, nuzzling along my jaw and nipping at my earlobe. "Somehow I don't think that's very hygienic."

I chuckled as well, kissing down my neck and sucking at the skin. "I mean out in the waiting area."

"Are you being bold with me?" He drew back to look at me, and I rubbed my hands over the tops of his thighs. "Unfortunately, I don't have a rubber."

I merely smirked in reply and reached over to grab my bag from where it hung on the wall behind us, pulling a plastic bag from the front pocket and setting it on my tattoo bed. It held a couple of condoms and a small bottle of lube. "I like to be prepared."

I watched Larry's eyes darken, and he drew a soft breath through parted lips, voice husky when he spoke. It was even more erotic than I expected. "You planned this, didn't you."

"Fucking you at work? No. Fucking you someplace where we wouldn't have supplies? I knew it was a possibility." I grinned, leaning in to kiss him again, rolling my hips up against his and letting him feel how hard I was. Larry gave a little helpless moan into my mouth, and I let my hands stroke over his hips to cup his ass again and pull him closer, feeling almost mindlessly aroused.

Larry nipped at my bottom lip, kisses a little hungrier, a little more frantic as he rocked against me. "And the fact that we're really only ever at work or home?"

I smoothed my hands up the back of his t-shirt, enjoying the sensation of his bare skin under my fingers before pulling it off and over his head and tossing it behind me onto my bed. "Sometimes the supermarket," I murmured, dropping my head to kiss along his neck, sucking at the line of ink that travelled over his collarbone. "Sometimes in the car.... It's so hard for me to stop thinking about you...."

"Me too," Larry breathed, fingers almost kneading my shoulders. "Kind of wish we could have sex here on the tattoo beds."

I drew back to look up at him, smoothing a hand down his midline to cup his cock through his jeans, watching as he bit his lip on a soft moan, eyelashes fluttering. "I tell you what," I murmured, palming him slowly. "If this place ends up getting sold to that douchebag, we'll stay late on our last night and have sex everywhere you want."

Larry laughed breathlessly, leaning in to kiss me before pulling away and standing, catching my hand to pull me up as well. "Deal," he said, turning towards the waiting room.

I grabbed the bag of supplies and shoved them in my back pocket before stepping close to him, wrapping an arm around his waist to nuzzle his shoulder. "So gorgeous," I murmured against his skin, feeling him shiver against me. It was new and strange to me still, to be going to bed with another man more than once or twice. I never set out intending to pick up men, it just kind of... happened. I'd certainly never pursued anything into boyfriend territory, even during the times I'd been single.

Was that what we were, now? Larry turned to face me, and I tried to push the the thought away. Whatever it was I felt for him was already overwhelming, and like the shop, I didn't want to think about the possibility of it ending.

I pulled him in for a kiss, stroking my hands up his chest as his lips parted to mine. The lights in the reception area had been turned off, leaving only a single light on over top of the reception desk that cast the room into dark shadows. It seemed warm, somehow, more inviting than having the bright, florescent lights on overhead.

I shoved the coffee table to one side and tossed the supplies onto it before pulling the seat cushions off the banquette and down to the floor, tugging him down to me and claiming his mouth again. It was easy to get his jeans undone, slipping a hand inside to curl around his satisfyingly hard cock and feeling him shudder and gasp against me.

"I wanted to wait until we were done," I murmured, finally admitting I'd thought about this on more than one occasion; normally while we were cleaning up at work and home seemed so far away. "Wanted to fuck you while I was still buzzed on endorphins from you inking my skin. And I really wanted to push you over the tattoo bed and do it. It's so goddamn hard to resist you...."

"I knew it," he murmured, laughing softly as he arched up into my touch and starting to tug at my jeans. "Can't even tell you how many times I've thought about it, being bent over the table with your gorgeous cock in my ass...."

I groaned at the feel of his fingers on my cock as he pushed a hand into my boxers, surging up to catch his mouth again in a hard kiss as I started to tug at his jeans. "Fuck, you drive me crazy, Lar. Tell me how you want it."

"I want to ride you." His reply was almost instantaneous, his voice husky. "I want to watch you come undone under me."

"Deal," I hissed, helping him kick off his pants and boxers. Then, grabbing the bottle of lube from the coffee table, I pushed him onto his back before he could protest and covered his cock with my mouth.

"Oh god, Ben - !" Larry's fingers clenched in my hair, his hips bucking up a little underneath me in helpless reaction to the sensation. I groaned around him and let my eyes fall closed as my lips slid further down his shaft, taking in the taste of his skin, the scent of his arousal, the little whimpers he made when I moved my hand to cup and tease his sack gently. In truth, I loved this almost as much as I loved fucking him: having the hard heat of his cock in my mouth as I worked lube-slick fingers inside him. I loved how fucking him open slowly made him more and more desperate, how each twist of my fingers made him whimper and whine, the head of his cock slick and salty with arousal as I worked my tongue against him. I loved to push him farther each time, working him open until all four fingers were buried almost up to my knuckles, until he was gasping and begging for it and trying to rock back onto my fingers at the same time.

"Ben, please stop - Jesus Christ - !" Each gasp of breath made him shudder, and his fingers finally tightened in my hair, pulling me off his cock almost forcefully. "Sit back so I can ride you before you make me come in your mouth."

"I don't mind," I said, smirking as I glancing up at him. He'd let me once, on a Sunday when he'd gone down on his knees for me in the kitchen, groceries only half put away. Getting a blow job in the kitchen had been hotter than I expected, and between that and his skill I hadn't lasted long. I'd dragged him to bed and gotten him off with his cock in my mouth and my fingers deep inside him, and afterwards we'd fucked for what seemed hours.

"Dirty boy." Larry grinned and brushed his fingertips against my mouth before squirming away from me, grabbing one of the discarded throw pillows off the couch. "Get comfy, cowboy."

I kicked off the rest of my clothes, shoving the pillow between my back and the edge of the bench beside me, watching him hungrily as he moved to straddle my lap. "God, you're sexy."

"So you keep telling me," he said, still smiling, eyes traveling down my body to my cock as he dripped a little bit of lube on the head, stroking it down my shaft. "Jesus Christ, I love how thick you are."

I let my hands stroke up the outside of his thighs to grasp his hips, thumbs rubbing circles on his hip bones as I watched him. "Have you always been such a size queen?"

"You bring it out in me," Larry replied, grinning, tearing open a condom with his teeth and rolling it down the length of my cock. "Can't even begin to tell you how good it feels to have you inside me, Ben. Or how satisfying it is after sex when I'm all stretched open and aching from being fucked, how my cock twitches every time I sit down and remember you being inside me...."

His dirty talk was almost maddening, and I tried to pull him closer to me. "Show me."

"Yeah?" He tore open a second condom and rolled it on himself, smirking as he stroked himself slowly for show. "You want to watch me ride your gorgeous cock?"

"Can't get enough of it," I murmured, drawing a sharp breath as he wrapped a hand around the base of my cock, kneeling up to sink down slowly onto me, whimpering as his body stretched around the flared head.

I smoothed my hands up to cup his ass, clenching and rubbing at the firm muscles as he sank lower with each slow rock of his hips. "God, you're beautiful. Feel so good, Lar, I can't even...."

He met my gaze and grinned, biting his bottom lip as he bucked onto me, taking me to the hilt in a sudden rush of sensation. It was too overwhelming, and I found myself pulling him down to me, reaching up to claim his mouth in breathless, trembling kiss. It felt good, just to stay like that, rocking together a little as the heat of his body shuddered around me.

"God, I needed this," he gasped against my mouth, and I murmured a low, wordless agreement, rocking up into him a little harder and groaning as he cried out in pleasure.

"God, Ben..." Larry's whimper was almost helpless as he began to move harder on me, lips ghosting on mine as he half-braced himself against the edge of the bench behind me. "Don't know how much you like prostate stimulation," he said, sentence broken by soft gasps for breath. "It's so... overwhelmingly good, oh god... you're so goddamn big that I can always feel you, feels like nothing else, fuck....!"

"Yeah?" I arched with him, burying myself to the hilt with each rock of his hips, matching his pace as he began to move a little faster, crying out against my mouth. It felt amazing to be sheathed inside him, the heat of his body stroking my cock with each thrust. It was hotter to see how much he liked it, his cock hard between us, brushing against my abs as we moved together. I stole his cries with breathless kisses, fingers tightening on his hips. "Want me to jerk you off?"

Larry nipped at my bottom lip, crying out as he bucked back harder onto my cock. "No. No, oh hell... just wanna come like this... gonna come so hard just from fucking myself on your gorgeous dick, love...."

It was the first time I'd heard the word on his lips, and though I knew it was just sex talk it didn't stop the surge of desire that rushed through me. I moved one hand to clench in his hair, kissing him hard again and again, desperate with the need to come and yet wanting to hold off and savor this as long as possible. Larry's breath was gasped and ragged against my mouth as he bucked on me, his whole body tense and shuddering from pleasure. "God, Ben, oh god, so close - !"

"Come on love," I gasped, cupping the back of his neck and sealing my mouth to his for a hard kiss as I rocked up into him again and again. "Come for me, let me feel you..." Larry cried out into my mouth, throaty and helpless, and I felt him tense around me, almost impossibly tight for a moment before he bucked hard against me and came, tight and hot and shuddering. The wave of emotional satisfaction it sent through me mixed with the intensity of sensation, and I gave myself over to the overwhelming ecstasy of my orgasm, arching up into him as the hot sparks of climax rushed through me.

Larry sagged against me almost bonelessly, his face pressed to my shoulder, shivering a little as he tried to catch his breath. I wrapped my arms around him without saying anything, pressing my face to his hair and feeling, despite my better judgement, like everything would be right with the world if we could only stay like this forever and never face anything else but each other.

"Don't move yet," I murmured, tightening my arms around him even though he'd made no effort to pull away. "Stay with me."

A wordless nod was my reply, and for a long moment I just held him, letting my mind go blank to everything but the joy of being close to him.

"We should get started so we can get home for bed," he murmured finally, though he still made no motion to pull away.

I pressed another kiss to his hair. "You still up for it? We don't have to stay if you're tired." Secretly, I was beginning to worry about being able to keep up with the grueling schedule I'd set for myself. The breaks Daniel had given me between clients were spent doing stretches, trying to keep my fingers from cramping around the gun as I worked, and I was far too spent by the time I got home to even think about working on new designs.

"It'll take more than a good fucking to keep me from tattooing," Larry replied, chuckling as he nuzzled my neck. "Do you have any requests for the colours?"

I let my fingers stroke up and down his back. "What were you thinking?"

"I thought about rose for a while," he started slowly, relaxing more against me. "With the designs on her kimono in white and a little bit of green, but I think it would be too subtle. It wouldn't age well. So I'm thinking of a graduated blue so it's light at her shoulders and deep, almost navy at the bottom so the designs will really pop...."

"I like that," I said, trying to picture it and liking the idea of it in my head. "It sounds more dramatic than rose." I kept stroking up and down his spine slowly, turning my face to nuzzle the warmth of his hair. "I want her to have red hair."

Larry stiffened against me slightly, and when he responded, his voice was careful. "Red hair isn't generally a colour you see on Geisha."

"But she's not a Geisha, not really. So I want red." Her hair had been the only thing we'd changed before we'd started the design; instead of the original idea of piling it onto her head with decorative combs and a headdress, it floated in loose waves on the same breeze that blew her robes towards the tree. I smoothed a hand up the back of his neck to run it through his thick auburn hair. "Cherries are red. It fits."

He pulled back a little, hissing slightly as he moved on me, and I stroked my hands down over his hips. "You sure, Ben?"

"Completely," I replied, reaching up to cup his face with one hand, fingers stroking into his hair. Larry's eyes fell closed, and though he looked troubled for a moment he leaned into my touch.

"All right," he said softly, then opened his eyes again to give me a smile. "All right, mister. Let's get cleaned up so we can get started."

~~~

 

Larry and I had finished up a little after one the night before, locking up the store before heading home and falling into bed exhausted. He hadn't used the guest room for weeks, and I was glad of it; it felt good to have him in my arms when I woke up every morning. We hadn't finished the tattoo, we hadn't quite gotten to the blue, but he'd finished the delicate, sakura-based floral pattern around the bottom of half of the sleeves and hem of my dryad's kimono, and shaded the fabric in grayscale to help with the blue gradient at my next appointment. I'd insisted on finishing her hair as well, a soft auburn with white highlights that seemed alive on the wind.

Despite the late night I felt energized as I arrived the next morning, and was setting up my station when the Chairman came out of his office to stand behind me. "Ben. Do you have a moment?"

It was difficult not to resent his decision to sell the shop, but I smiled, following him into his office. "Sure."

Saito closed the door behind us, then turned to me. "I wanted to apologize to you personally about the sale," he started, resting a hand on my arm. "You've been the closest thing I have had to an apprentice, you know. It has meant a lot to me that you've stayed in the shop for this long."

I gave a little shake of my head, forcing myself to smile. "No, please, I should be thanking you. I never would have become this accomplished without everything you've taught me. It's just hard to see good things come to an end."

He nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "I have been speaking to Frank about the sale. I would like it very much if you all were able to purchase her. I don't particularly wish to see my legacy run into the ground for the sake of terrible reality TV, please believe me. Unfortunately there are certain... legal restraints which prevent me from offering the shop to you at a lower price than that which has been offered by Mr. Moran. However if you decide you are able to purchase the store, I will pay up front for you to reserve twelve days of my choice throughout the next two years. At Tebori rates. I wish to have my design extended to my ankles."

I felt my jaw drop as I did the math in my head. "You'd pay me almost twenty thousand dollars, ahead of time, for something I'm not fully qualified to do?"

"It is important for an artist to leave behind a legacy," he said quietly. "You have the skill and dedication, and I am confident that by the time you are finished you will be more than qualified to continue Tebori tattooing as a master."

The thought was still overwhelming. "It would be a great honor to do work for you, Saito. I very much appreciate the opportunity."

"Thank you," he replied, and smiled. "I hope to see it come to fruition." He turned towards the door, then stopped, looking back at me. "Oh, one thing I should make you aware of. We have security cameras here, on the stairs and in the waiting room. Just in the event there is ever an incident."

I felt my heart stop, then resume pounding almost audibly. "We do?"

"For the safety of the shop, of course. They currently record digitally to the desktop here in my office. The files are deleted after thirty-six hours so as to save space on the hard-drive. I will give you access to all of this if you decide to buy the shop."

I nodded, pulse still racing, trying to figure out why he was telling me this now. Had he seen the videos from last night? If he had, his countenance gave no hint as to whether or not he was displeased.

Saito regarded me for a long moment, searching my gaze, and while I was used to such things from him this one unnerved me. "There is also one thing I feel you should know about," he said slowly. "Mr. Byrne has asked me about my contacts in other cities in North America, and if I can give him referrals. He's expressed a desire to travel when the work he has booked here is complete."

This time my blood ran cold. I fought not to react visibly, but ended up taking a step back anyway, leaning against one of his cabinets. "Oh," I managed to reply, my own voice sounding hollow and far away as I spoke. "I - I wasn't aware of that. Thank you."

Saito's smile seemed sympathetic this time, and he stepped closer to place a hand on my forearm. "I would very much like to see you buy the Rose," he said quietly. "I feel like she is more important to you than you are admitting to yourself, and that if you let her get away you would regret it deeply, for a very long time. Please let me know if I can help you in any way."

"Thank you," I replied a little dazedly, and left his office, almost certain he wasn't only talking about the shop.

~~~~

 

**John Murdoch**

 

Throughout June I began to sense a shift in the feel of the Desert Rose when I went in for my appointments. I always managed to engage Larry in conversation of course, but everyone else seemed more somber, more serious. It worried me, but despite subtle prying, no one really opened up about anything, even Daniel.

In early July I caught the tail end of a conversation between Morgan and Ben as Larry and I settled down to work. We were finishing the colour on the inside of my left arm, something I'd been dreading for a while, because the line work and shading had hurt like a bitch.

"I'm in," Morgan was saying quietly as Ben worked on a client. "I put Frank on the phone to my boy and they crunched some numbers and it convinced him that it's an equitable enough venture to invest in."

Larry glanced up at him in surprise. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Fiancée, actually," Morgan replied, smirking. "Back in Virginia. Finishing his Ph.D."

I stared at him as well. "Shit, my gaydar was so off. Um, sorry, no offense."

"I'll take that as a compliment to my fidelity," Morgan said, still smiling. "Anyway, Ben... I don't know if it'll get us there, but I'm in for thirty-five."

Ben gave a little nod. "If you're sure."

"Are you kidding? I love it here. You have no idea how much work it took me to finally convince him to move out here when he's done school, I'm not wasting that." He sobered a little. "How much are we still short?"

Ben let out a long breath. "Well, taking the legal fees into account... Frank says about sixty grand."

"Jesus." Morgan was silent for a long moment. "Should we see if there's anyone else local who wants to buy in? I mean, we'll have an extra bed. Two if we take the rest of the stuff out of the office."

Ben frowned, shaking his head slowly. "I don't know, Morgan. Sixty grand is a lot of shares, a lot more control than I want to give someone we don't even know. Even two someones."

"But considering the alternative...."

It was easier to focus on their conversation than on the design being carved into my arm. "At the risk of being told that it's none of my damn business, why are you talking about throwing large sums of money around?"

Ben glanced to me, hesitating, then looked up at Larry.

"Saito's selling the shop at the end of August," Larry said bluntly.

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "To you guys, right?"

"If we can get enough money together," Morgan replied. "If not, well... you're looking at the future set of the Las Vegas edition of Liberty Ink."

"God, that's a horrible TV show." I wrinkled my nose, considering the situation. "You have to buy the shop. For the good of mankind, if nothing else. Have you thought about throwing a fundraiser?"

Ben snorted. "What, like a bake sale?"

Morgan chuckled as well. "Even Cherry's cupcakes aren't sixty grand worth of good."

"Hey!"

"But they're close," Morgan added quickly, giving the other artist a winning smile. "You know I love your baking, baby girl."

"You'd better, or I'm not making cupcakes for your wedding," she shot back, her glare teasing.

"You could do a co-branded show with me at TI like the rockabilly show," I offered. "Sponsor gets $10 a head in return for entertainment and advertising. It would be rad to have someone tattooing. If we max out capacity at Wonderland it'll bring in, like, fifteen grand."

Ben shook his head. "It's a start, but we need a hell of a lot more cash."

He had a point. "Well... then fuck TI, we'll find a venue and run it independently. Throw a secret underground rave from ten at night until 6am like in the old days. We'll charge eighty bucks a ticket and make a mint."

Ben snorted. "Why would someone pay eighty bucks to come see you in some secret location when they can see you at TI for... what, thirty?"

"You clearly don't know ravers." I gave a toothy grin. "I've got a shitload of unreleased material that I'm playing at Shambhala, we'll call it the American premiere of my new album or something. We build enough hype - which Leon's amazing at doing, by the way - and it'll sell out within days of tickets going on sale. We'll do a tattoo theme. Anyone who wants to skip the line for the Rose and get in to see you that night can get tattooed for as long as they want at the low, low price of two hundred bucks an hour. And we'll film it and give them a copy of the video. Plus, people can't go topless at Wonderland."

"I'd totally pay eighty bucks to go," May agreed.

"Me too," said the girl Ben was working on, lifting her head to look over at me. I'd seen her once before at the shop, she was getting an elaborate back piece composed of lilies and dragonflies. "My friends would totally be into it, too. And I think a lot of regular customers would go just to help the shop."

"Thanks," Ben said, sounding a little surprised. He looked up at me. "If we do this... I don't know the first thing about setting up or running events or raves or whatever. I mean, I'm sure Frank will help but he's not exactly an event manager either."

I waved my free hand dismissively. "Don't worry about that, I've got the best in the business." I raised my voice. "Hey, Leon!" When I didn't receive a reply, I called out again. "Leon! Hey Daniel, can you get Leon in here?"

Daniel appeared from the front a moment later. "I think he's working in Frank's office," he said, heading down the other end of the shop. A few moments later my manager emerged, looking a little annoyed.

"What?"

"I need you. Couldn't you hear me?"

"I don't respond to you hollering like a four year old. And I was on the phone trying to get you an RV with solar powered air conditioning," he replied, glaring.

I hadn't thought about air conditioning, but it sounded amazing. Even up in Canada, Shambhala got really hot during the day, which was, as far as I was concerned, prime sleeping time. "That's a great idea! Also, I need you to throw me a birthday party the last weekend in August."

Leon raised one eyebrow. "Your birthday isn't until November."

"Well, an un-birthday party, then. It fits my image, right?"

Ben looked up at Daniel. "Get Frank out here, too, if we're talking about this seriously," he said, and Daniel nodded and disappeared again.

"I'm not in residence the last week of August, right? I don't have anything else booked?"

"No...." Leon said carefully, watching me. "What kind of an un-birthday party is this?"

"One that's going to make us enough money to buy the shop. And by "us" I mean these guys. I'm doing it au gratin."

"Au gratuit," Leon corrected, still frowning. 

"Same thing.

"'Free' and 'cooked with breadcrumbs' is not the same thing," Leon shot back. "Are you serious about this? Do you know how much work this is going to be?"

"Of course. This kind of stuff's good for PR. That's what you want, right? Anyway. We're going to need a marketing plan, figure out how we're selling tickets, get a liquor license. And a good sized warehouse venue, some shit hole where we can bring in at a couple thousand people. Has to be someplace industrial so we don't have to worry about noise complaints. But maybe some place that's kind of close to public transit?"

"I can take care of the venue." Frank had come up behind us, leaning on the cabinet, Daniel hovering behind him. "I know Vegas. And the liquor license. What's our budget for the rental?"

"Doesn't matter, I'll cover it."

"He will not," Leon returned quickly, then rounded the tattoo bed to hold my gaze. "You really think that throwing a rave to save the store is a good idea?"

"Why not? Worked in 'Empire Records', didn't it?"

Leon sighed. "John, listen to me. I'm all for doing this but we have to do it realistically. I'll work with Frank, we'll do up a budget, figure out the costs, and then we'll decide if it's even going to be worth it. They're going to have to rent a sound system - a really good one, for a big venue - get some techs in to set it up and run it, and pay at least two other DJs to come in, because even you can't spin for eight hours straight. If you want to sell merch then we have to do up a new design and get it printed asap. You're going to have to hire bartenders, people to check tickets, door staff, security - "

"Hey man. I'll bounce for an hour or two of free ink." The guy in Cherry's chair was getting something that looked like an alien exoskeleton tattooed on his lower leg, and had big enough arms to possibly be the entire security force by himself.

Cherry beamed. "Greg, that's the sweetest thing ever! I would totally book you in after hours if you did that for me! Do you think there's anyone else who would do that?"

He gave a little chuckle. "For you, sweetheart, I can round up an army. Just let me know how much time you can afford."

"I know a couple of really good local DJs who put on great live shows," May added from where she was spraying down her station. "I could probably get them to spin for cheap just for the exposure and a couple passes to the event. Let me know if you want to check them out."

"We could use the augmented reality equipment from Shambhala for the visualizations," Daniel added. "May and I know enough people who hoop and spin Poi locally who would be more than happy to dance for an hour for half price tickets. I'll book the night off from KA to run the system."

"Perfect, perfect, and you bet your hot little ass you will." I grinned up at Leon. "See? Things will work themselves out."

"Your fantastical optimism is going to be the death of me," he said, and sighed. "Are we actually doing this? You've still got Shambhala, you know. You realize you're not going to have a weekend off until nearly the end of September, don't you?"

"You can't have too many parties," I replied, grinning. "No, I really want to do it. Unless you think you're too busy to pull it off."

Leon looked personally affronted, which was, of course, my aim. "Of course I can pull it off."

"Of course you can," I agreed, glancing to Ben. "Wanna do it?"

"Yeah, if you're sure, I'm definitely game. It's a hell of a thing to offer, John. Thank you."

"Well, just consider it an appropriate tip for the beautiful work I've gotten done here. And an investment in my ability to come back. I like this place."

"All right then." Frank had a hint of a smile on his face. "Let's get to work."

I waited until Leon was safely gone, then wiggled my phone out of my pocket and pulled up my twitter account.

_'Throwing the BEST PARTY EVER last week in August! Oldskool secret rave with the Chessure to help out friends? #savedesertrose'_

~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Larry Byrne**

 

My life with Ben had become a horrible cycle of sex and denial. The sex was amazing, aggravatingly so, and I knew I was letting myself feel far too much when this wouldn't, couldn't last. When I was with him, it felt like he was everything I ever wanted, and I didn't allow myself to think about things like absent girlfriends and our inevitable break-up. When we were apart... then it was my feelings that I denied, pretending like this meant nothing to me, like I could pack up and leave at any time. So when Saito announced that he was selling the shop, I took it as a sign that it was time to remove myself from the situation before I got in any deeper, and I began to quietly investigate the possibility of leaving Vegas.

It wasn't just sex, though. Not at all. And that was the biggest lie I was telling myself.

Sex and love and denial.

I wasn't completely surprised when I wasn't included in the talks about buying the shop. Frank would have left it up to Ben, and I didn't doubt that he was as cautious as I was when it came to things that would make whatever it was we had together more serious than it already was.

He finally brought it up on our way home the day John offered to help us throw a fundraiser to save the shop. "Lar... if we end up buying the shop... would you stay?"

I felt my stomach drop like lead, and made myself focus on a car as it drove by us the on the darkened street. "Who said I was leaving?"

"Saito told me you were asking him for contacts in shops in other cities." Next to me, Ben didn't try to meet my gaze.

"Just trying to see what my options are," I said softly. "I mean... things happen for a reason, don't they? Maybe I'm not meant to stay in Vegas."

I felt Ben's hand slip into mine, twining his fingers with mine and holding my hand a little too tightly. "You really mean that?"

The touch was too familiar, too real. I squeezed back despite myself, loving and hating myself at the same time for needing it so badly. "I don't know, Ben. I just... sometimes I feel like we should end this before we get in over our heads. Whatever this is between us. I don't know."

Ben was silent as we climbed the steps to his house, still holding my hand tightly even as he fumbled to unlock the door. I leaned into him a little, feeling suddenly like I didn't have the energy to fight.

Inside, he turned to face me, his gaze troubled, conflicted. He brought his free hand up to cup the side of my face. "You really want to leave?"

"I don't know," I murmured, leaning into his touch despite myself. "No. No, I don't."

"Then don't," Ben said quietly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to my mouth before resting his forehead to mine. His voice was thick from emotion when he spoke. "I don't want you to leave."

The gentleness made it hard to keep up the barriers I'd made on my emotions. "I don't want to leave you," I found myself saying, the words spilling from my lips before I could stop them, too fast, too much. "I don't want to go, but I know I'm going to have to, I know this is all going to end. If I leave when the shop closes then at least I'm going on my own terms."

"Don't go," Ben repeated again, his breath a shivering caress against my mouth. "Please don't go."

I gave a soft, helpless moan despite myself, letting go of his hand to let my hands rest on his hips, clenching on the fabric of his jeans. "I don't know what else to do, Ben. I just...." my voice caught in my throat, and Ben's fingers smoothed through my hair, lips pressing to my forehead, the corner of my eye, nuzzling my cheek.

"Shhh. Don't go," he said again. "Things will be okay. I'll take care of everything. I promise. Just please don't go."

Then his lips pressed to mine, yearning, needy, and it was easier for me to give in to the passion I wanted so badly than to try and argue any longer.

Sex and love and denial.

~~~

 

It weighed heavy on my mind as I made my way home the next night. Ben was still at work for another hour; I was supposed to defrost some bacon so we could have a bite to eat when he finally got out of the shop at ten. We hadn't talked any more about the subject of me leaving, or about much, really. I'd just let him tug me into his room and make love to me, long and slow and intense.

I'll take care of everything, he'd said. But what exactly did he mean?

My thoughts were still focused on Ben as I unlocked the door to the house, and though my mind registered that the light in the front entry was on, it took me a moment after shutting the door behind me to realize how strange that was.

"Baby?"

I turned at the sound of a woman's voice to see someone step out of Ben's room, to see tiny black panties and a sheer black robe and boobs and - "Jesus Christ!"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" I'd brought a hand up to half-shield my eyes, but I was aware of the woman trying to wrap the robe around herself, which was rather futile. "I didn't realize - I mean, he said he had someone staying here a few months ago, but I didn't think - "

Amy. Of course it was Amy. I forced a smile, still carefully Not Looking at her as I crossed the house towards the guest room. "No, no, don't apologize, sweetheart, not your fault. I didn't know you were expected home or I wouldn't have walked in on you." 

"I wasn't, I just wanted to surprise him. I'm so sorry."

"Of course you did." My heart was pounding a mile a minute, and I felt faintly sick. I wasn't ready for this, not yet, not yet. I grabbed a spare shirt and a pair of boxers and shoved them in my bag. "I on my way out to see a friend, actually, so you'll have the house to yourself all night."

"Are you sure?"

I stopped in the house's front entryway. I wasn't sure, not at all. I wanted her gone, I wanted one more night with Ben. Just one more. But that wasn't an option. I forced another smile. "Of course, darling. Tell him I went out and not to worry, will you? I'll catch him at work in the morning."

I didn't wait for her reply, closing the door behind me and starting to walk in the opposite direction of the shop. I dug my phone out of my pocket, throat tight and eyes burning as I scrolled through my directory, trying to blink away the moisture blurring my vision.

"Hey, handsome. What's up?"

For a moment I couldn't answer, and I heard John grown concerned on the other end of the phone. "Larry? You okay?"

I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat. "Yeah. Yeah, I just... I could really do with a friend right now. Are you busy?"

His voice softened immediately. "Not at all, come right over. I'll leave a key for you at the VIP desk under Leon's name."

The words sent a rush of relief through me, and I realized how much I'd been dreading having nowhere else to go but Ben's house, dreading being alone there with the two of them in the other room.

"Thank you," I murmured. "I'll see you soon."

~~~~

 

**Ben Carson**

It was nearly ten-thirty before I finally got cleaned up and out of the shop, locking the doors behind me. I felt exhausted, and it was only Wednesday. But it wouldn't take long to get home. Then I could fry up the bacon, make some sandwiches and fall into bed with Larry....

I unlocked the front door and let myself in. "Hey, sorry it took so long to get home, we just finished, and - "

"Hello, handsome."

I knew the purr of her voice better than anything... and I'd never been so dismayed to hear it. I turned to find Amy in the doorway to my bedroom, dressed in what I would have ordinarily considered very sexy lingerie. But all I could think about was how very, very bad this was. "Oh my god."

Amy's eyebrows quirked. "It's good to see you too, Ben."

"I'm sorry," I said, crossing the house to make sure my spare room was indeed empty. "Where's Larry?"

"By Larry I'm assuming you mean the guy that came in earlier? He got an unintentional eyeful and left. Said he was going to meet a friend and to tell you he'd see you at the shop tomorrow."

"How long ago?"

"Like, an hour...?"

I stopped in the doorway to the spare room, closing my eyes and leaning heavily against the door frame. "Fuck."

On the other side of the room, I heard Amy give a long sigh, and I opened my eyes to find her making her way into the main room, leaning back against the breakfast bar and folding her arms across her chest. She was silent for a long moment, watching me, her lips pursed together slightly, dark hair falling half over her face. "When were you going to tell me about all of this?"

I sighed and moved to join her. "All this?"

Amy gave a soft, mirthless chuckle. "You, him. The fact that you and I are apparently not together anymore."

"I'm sorry," I said softly, holding the gaze of her brown eyes. "I didn't want you to find out like this. I didn't expect you home so soon. I just... I didn't want to break things off while you were away again."

The look she gave me was less than impressed. "So you decided it would be better to hook up with your roommate instead?"

I glanced away, unable to decide if I felt worse about essentially having lied to her or about Larry being gone. "It wasn't like that."

Amy gave a long sigh, looking past me out into the room. "Oh my god. This is so ridiculous, Ben."

"I'm so sorry," I tried again, "I know, it's unforgivable. I just - I care about you and I didn't want to tell you while you were on tour, because I promised...."

"I don't mean that." Amy interrupted me, stepping forward to take me by the shoulders and meet my gaze with surprising boldness. "Ben. I need to tell you something, and I'm telling you this from the bottom of my heart because I love you. You're gay."

I opened my mouth to protest, then closed it again. "I'm bisexual."

She snorted. "You're gay, dear. No straight man keeps his body as good looking as you do unless he's either a goddamn athlete or a gigolo. You're really very gay."

"I've been with women," I replied, feeling a little defensive.

"You've been with me and that one stripper when you were drunk that one time," she said, her smile bemused. "And I'm not exactly the perfect picture of femininity here. Can you even count how many men you've fucked?"

"That wasn't serious," I tried to protest, but Amy just chuckled, heading back into my bedroom, the robe slithering off her shoulders.

"Well, obviously this time is serious. Ben, look. I've known you longer and better than almost anyone, so if nothing else just please listen to me for a moment." She bundled up the robe and stuffed it back into her traveling bag, then turned back to me. "You and I had a really great run, and I know we had plans about marriage and kids and everything, but you don't need me for that. You can have everything you want and be happy with someone you're actually in love with and sexually attracted to, and you need to accept that this someone is going to be a dude."

I hadn't thought about it that way, and her words stunned me. I thought about what Larry had said about leaving Dublin to get away from meaningless, sex based relationships, and as much as I loved him it was pretty much all I'd given him. "...oh."

Amy chuckled softly, extending a finger to teasingly push my jaw back up before stepping away. "Go after your boy, Ben," she said, glancing back at me as she picked up her bra. "I'll be fine. I've been half expecting this since I left, anyway. I have some tail to go chase."

I opened my mouth, then stopped, staring at her in further confusion as she dressed. "...tail?"

"Of course." She glanced back at me, smirking. "Or don't you think I can get any man I want?"

I shook my head, still not quite sure what to think about all of this. "I know you can, of course you can."

"Good. Because so can you." She pulled her jeans up over her hips and buttoned them up before moving back to me, resting her hands on my shoulders. "Go. Get yourself sorted out. I'll give you a call next time I'm in town and we can do coffee and catch up, okay?"

I felt like my brain still hadn't quite caught up to what was going on. "You're not upset?"

"A little," she admitted, giving me a soft smile. "But I kind of saw this coming, you know."

"I'm so sorry," I tried again, and the smile I received this time was completely indulgent.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you I've been fucking one of the other acrobats?"

"A bit," I said, though in truth I didn't feel anything much about the revelation at all.

"Good," she replied and smiled, leaning up to press a soft kiss to my mouth. "Now go. I'll lock up behind me and throw the keys through the mail slot."

Part of me still couldn't quite comprehend what was happening. "I'm so sorry," I said again, and with a soft sigh Amy pushed past me, grabbing my car keys off the hook by the closet and handing them to me.

"Ben. I love you but I've been waiting to have sex for an hour and a half now and I'm horny as hell. I need you to leave so I can go get laid."

"But - "

"I can pretend to be angry if that makes it easier? You're an asshole. Go fuck your boyfriend. Good enough?" She was smiling, though, which completely ruined the effect.

I pulled her into my arms impulsively, discovering that even though she was still half naked against me I didn't any of the sexual desire I once had. "Thank you," I said softly, and stepped away.

"See you around, Ben," she replied with a little smile, watching me as I left.

I was in the car and on the road, heading towards the strip before I finally thought to ask myself where I was going. But perhaps it had been instinctive. He'd be at Wonderland with John, of course he'd be. I tried to call him, but he didn't pick up, so I parked in the TI parkade and made my way into the building, stepping off the escalator to find the normally packed nightclub quiet.

The hostess at the door looked up at me. "Can I help you?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. "Um. I was looking for John. Um, DJ Chessure?"

"He doesn't spin on Wednesdays," she said, chuckling. "Come back tomorrow."

Shit. 

I walked across the casino floor and back again, partly to gather my thoughts, partly hoping I'd just miraculously run into him somehow. I briefly considered asking about him at the front desk, but realized there was no way they'd give some strange guy access to their star DJ. I perched in one of the phone booth nooks by Wonderland, out of the range of the noise of the slot machines, and tried dialing Larry's number again. He didn't pick up now, either.

 _'Please call me,'_ I texted him. _'I need to talk to you. She's not here anymore. I'm so sorry.'_

It was after eleven, and there was still no answer. The TI security guard was beginning to eye me suspiciously when he walked by. So I took the only option I had left, dialing another number on my phone.

"Ben?" May's voice was welcome, if a little confused. "How's it going?"

"I fucked up," I said immediately, the words pouring out without censure. "Amy came into town and tried to surprise me and ended up surprising Larry and he took off and now he's not picking up his phone and I really need to talk to him. Can you help me?"

There was silence for a moment. "Do you want me to try and call him?"

I was rather hoping his phone was off and he wasn't just ignoring my texts and phone calls. "Well, actually, I'm pretty sure I know where he is. I'm at TI already, I just need to get into John's hotel suite. I was hoping maybe you and Anna could help."

May gave a soft sigh. "Let me talk to Anna and see what we can find out. I'll call you right back, all right?"

"Sure. Thanks, May. Really."

What seemed like forever was in reality only five minutes, but I could hardly sit still. I ended up climbing the stairs back up to the parkade and taking the escalator back down to kill time, and to try and use up some of the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It occurred to me suddenly that perhaps Larry had gone to John for something more intimate than just friendly sympathy, and it made me feel faintly sick.

Finally my phone rang again. "May?"

"Everything's good," she said, and even though I didn't know what her definition of 'everything' was, it calmed me a little. "Anna and I are just coming in from dinner, meet us at the elevators and we'll take you up."

"Thank you. So much." I made tracks to the elevator and spotted them a few minutes later, walking hand and hand through the casino floor. May was laughing at something Anna had said, and they both looked so happy and so completely adoring of each other that for a moment I was intensely jealous.

But all the trouble I was in was my fault alone. I should have broken things off with Amy immediately, regardless of that fucking promise. And if it had driven Larry into someone else's bed, well... that was just my fault too.

May gave me a warm smile and a hug when she reached me, shaking her head. "Come on, lover boy."

I gave a nod to Anna. "Thanks for your help, both of you."

She smiled and gave a little shrug. "It's no trouble. I phoned my brother, by the way. He knows what's going on, he's waiting for you. Larry doesn't, though." She scanned her swipe card and hit the button for her floor.

They weren't in bed, then. I breathed a sigh of relief.

May turned to me in the elevator. "Ben, before we do this... Amy's gone, right? I mean, everything's finished and settled?"

I nodded, glancing away. "Yeah. I broke it off with Amy. She... was actually pretty okay."

May raised an eyebrow dubiously. "Really?"

"Yeah. She said she had some tail to chase and that I needed to accept that I'm... well, as she put it, Really Gay."

May chuckled and patted my shoulder. "Well, I'm glad that went well for you at least," she said, taking me out of the elevator and down the hall.

My stomach tied itself in another knot. They weren't in bed together, which made things a little better, but I still had no idea how angry he'd be or how he'd react. I'd told him I'd take care of things and then he'd walked in on Amy. I'd be pissed, if I were him.

"Home sweet home," Anna said, swiping her card again and giving me a soft smile before pushing the door open and going inside. "We're home!"

Larry was seated on the couch with John, a half-full bottle of Jack Daniels in an ice bucket on the table. He looked up at me, confused. "... _Ben?_ "

"Great!" John set his glass down on the coffee table and got up, smiling widely as he started towards me. "I got him drunk for you," he said simply, clapping me on the shoulder on his way to his bedroom. "Now figure your shit out and take him home. You can see yourself out. Unless, of course, you're up for a threesome. In which case, you are welcome in my bed at any time. Night Larry!"

Larry looked stunned. "What the fuck, John."

"I love you too, darling," he replied with a smile, then disappeared into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

"Good luck," May said simply, patting my shoulder as her and Anna walked by and disappeared into the other bedroom.

Larry gave a soft sigh and drained the rest of his drink.

For a long moment I just stood in the entryway, not even sure how to start or what to say. Larry glanced up at me, then nodded at the bottle of Jack. "Want some of this?"

"Please." I grabbed another glass off the tray on the counter, taking the paper cover off of it and dropping in a couple of ice cubes before grabbing the bottle. "More?"

"...sure," Larry replied after a moment, holding out his glass, still not quite looking at me. He stared at the glass as I filled it. "Don't take this the wrong way, but... why exactly are you here, Ben?"

I poured myself a generous portion and took a long swallow. "I needed to talk to you and you aren't picking up your phone."

"What?" He dug in his back pocket and glanced at the screen. "Oh. Sorry. I didn't really mean to. I mean, I guess I did. I probably should have told you where I was going, but I guess you figured it out anyway." He shot back the rest of his drink again, then turned to me, meeting my gaze with a mixture of resignation and despair. "You should really be home with Amy."

"Amy's not there," I said simply. "Nothing happened between us. I broke it off with her. I should have done it months ago, Larry. I'm really sorry."

His eyebrows knit together slightly, and I watched him swallow hard, his voice rough and tight when he spoke again. "You broke it off with her?"

I reached out impulsively to take one of his hands in mine, reassured when he held back tightly. "Yes. I told you I'd take care of things. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to do it."

"I didn't think you would," he said softly, looking away. I finished the rest of my drink before moving closer, stroking my fingers up into his hair to tug his face back to mine and letting my forehead rest to his.

"I know," I said softly, smoothing my fingers through his hair again and again. "I've been an idiot, Lar. I... I've just always wanted to find someone to build a life with, someone I could grow old with. And maybe marriage and kids if that's what they wanted, but maybe it's just us, and maybe now I have to go to Washington to get married but that's okay too. I just needed to realize that I don't need... god, I don't even want Amy for that."

Larry drew a shivering breath before curling closer to me, burying his face in my neck. "Are you sure?"

I let myself wrap my arms around him, holding him to me and letting out a long sigh, taking comfort in our closeness. "I'm more sure than I've ever been about anything before, Lar. I know I've hurt you, and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I don't want to be with anyone but you."

He was shuddering in my embrace, clinging to me, drawing breath in hard gulps. "I'm a basket case," he managed to get out, face still hidden in my shoulder. "Just wanted to get drunk and forget everything. God, Ben... when I saw her... thought it was all over and I... I realized I didn't want to lose you and I felt like such a _bloody idiot_ \- "

"Shhh. No. Not at all. God, Lar..." I pulled back enough to press my lips to his temple, then the corner of his eye, tasting dampness and salt and giving a soft moan of dismay. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. God, please don't cry...."

Larry's fingers unclenched from the back of my shirt, and he drew a few deep breaths, calming noticeably. Then he drew back, just a little, looking up at me a little uncertainly. "Will you... will you take me home and make love to me?"

I smiled and nodded, leaning in to kiss him, slow and warm. I felt him relax into me more as we kissed, and finally I started to think that maybe everything would be all right. "I'd love nothing more," I murmured, and kissed him again.

~~~


	8. Chapter 8

**Frank Bumstead**

When Saito told me about his intention to sell the shop, it sent my world into a tailspin. The thought of trying to find another small business to manage where I liked both the work and the staff as much as I did at the Rose was a terrible thought. It was almost as terrible as the possibility of staying to work for that horrible Moran character. I started working on plans to help the artists buy the shop almost immediately, spending weeks doing research and in meetings with banks and legal assistants. I didn't even see Daniel as much as I wanted.

For a short period of time it seemed impossible. Then along came John Murdoch with his fame and his plans to raise the rest of the money we needed. And his manager.

Oh, Leon.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't actively tried to seek out the younger man's company during his visits to the Rose, even before we'd started working on saving the shop together. I was more than a little impressed by the way he seemed to be able to juggle managing all aspects of his artist's life and career _and_ keep the flirt in line at the same time. So perhaps if I invited Leon to use my office space instead of our waiting room more often than not it wasn't a completely selfless offer.

I didn't make any move to act on my attraction, of course. I couldn't ever do that to anyone I was dating, let alone Daniel. But when Leon and I started planning the fundraiser together it certainly made things more and more difficult....

I liked dating Daniel. It was warm and familiar and... comfortable. It was amazing to be having sex on a very regular basis again - I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed the challenge of keeping up with the libido of a younger man - but it was even better just to be able to be intimate with someone, to talk over dinner or wine or curled together after sex.

It was exactly what I wanted, but at the same time not at all. Because as much as I enjoyed the sex, as much as spoiling Daniel gave me the warm satisfaction of taking care of someone... the rush of love wasn't there, the feeling of being willing to sacrifice everything just to be near someone. And that wasn't fair to Daniel... or to me.

"What are you thinking about?" he murmured, placing a kiss to my collarbone as we curled together one night after sex.

"Nothing much," I lied, tightening an arm around him and pressing a kiss to his hair.

"You're terrible at fibbing," Daniel said, his laugh soft and warm. "Can we talk about it?"

There wasn't any need to worry him about it when I couldn't even sort it out in my own mind. "There's not really much to talk about."

Daniel shifted, turning half onto his stomach and folding his arms on my chest, resting his chin on them. He regarded me quietly for a minute, a little thoughtful smile on his face. "If I can guess what's bothering you, will you talk to me about it?"

I gave a soft sigh. "Daniel...."

He leaned forward enough to press a soft, sweet kiss to my mouth before settling back. "You and I have become rather more serious than I ever really intended us to be. But it's okay, we make a good couple. We work very well together in a lot of ways and all of this is very fulfilling. To me, at least. I hope to you."

"It is," I assured him, stroking my fingers over his cheek, and he smiled.

"Good. But it bothers you that we aren't in love, doesn't it? Because as nice as this is... if we're exclusive it should be more than just nice. We should be dizzy with love and overwhelmed with happiness, and we're not."

I looked away guiltily, unable to answer for a long moment. I thought I'd manage to keep it from him. Perhaps he knew me too well. "I'm sorry," I said finally, and Daniel gave a soft, sad laugh, curling against my side again and nestling his face against my shoulder. I turned into him, though, wrapping my arms around him and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I really am, Daniel."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about," he murmured. "No more than I do, in any case."

"But I feel like I've done wrong by you," I said before I could stop myself, which was perhaps why I felt so bad about everything. I felt like my heart had let me down. "I haven't been fair to you."

Daniel turned his face up towards mine, meeting my gaze with a little curious smile. "Why, because you couldn't make yourself fall in love with me, or me with you? You can't logically chose who you fall in love with, Frank. But please don't think you've hurt or disappointed me. I love our time together, I love _being_ with you. I don't want it to stop, even if we end up seeing other people in the future. I still want to find time for dinner or coffee or just to talk."

Other people. I watched him carefully. "Is there someone else?"

He looked away, flushing darkly. "No, I - not yet. I mean, I don't know if there actually ever will be, I just...."

I found myself smiling, fingers stroking through his hair. "You just know that you can't stop smiling every time he's around, you can't keep your heart from singing. You're afraid you're falling in love with him."

Daniel looked away, cheeks flushing pink. "... is it that obvious?"

"Not completely, no," I replied. "Just to me and your brother, I think. I like to think I've gotten to know you well enough to know when someone makes you happy."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, lowering his head to hide his face against my shoulder.

"Why?" I pressed another kiss to his forehead. "Just as you said... we can't choose who we love."

"Because I feel stupid," he muttered. "I don't even know whether I'm in love or just starstruck."

"Did you feel like this when you and May met Calvin Harris?"

Daniel chuckled softly, relaxing a little. "Well, I did really want to blow him. But no, it didn't feel like this."

"There you go, then."

Daniel's lips pursed as he thought about it. "But I don't even know if he's interested. And I have a good thing going on with you...."

"This doesn't have to stop if you don't want it to," I told him, stroking a hand up and down his spine, trying to soothe him. "I think we both just need to agree that we're not exclusive, and that if either of us ends up dating someone we do want to be exclusive with then we have to be upfront about it and be all right with just being friends."

He nodded, looking up at me again. "Is there someone else for you?"

I chuckled softly, feeling a little bashful. "Would it make me sound like a dirty old man if I told you I wanted to ask out his cute little Manager?"

"Leon?" Daniel's lips widened into a smile. "No, not dirty at all. I'm pretty sure he looks younger than he is." His eyebrows quirked a little. "He likes you."

His words surprised me. "He's talked to you about me?"

"Not exactly," Daniel replied, still smiling. "I mean, he does, but it's always professional. But why else do you think he hangs around and talks to you so much whenever John's getting work done? There's stars in his eyes when he looks at you." He let a hand rest on my chest, fingers stroking slow circles over my skin. "You should ask him out when they come in next week."

I watched him carefully. "And what about you?"

Daniel glanced away, smile faltering. "I'll be okay."

"I mean you and John. He's obviously interested in you."

Daniel gave a soft sigh. "I'm not so sure anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...." he stopped, chewing on his bottom lip. "He was so charming when he first started coming to the shop. I mean, he's still charming, and the fact that he's let me work for him means more to me than anything in the world, I just... sometimes it seems like he flirts with everyone but me."

"He harasses everyone but you," I corrected. "Because he actually likes you. You're the only one in the shop who matters."

"You think so?" he looked up at me anxiously. "But... Ben says he's sleeping with Larry."

I shrugged. "Your brother would be jealous of any attention anyone showed Larry, but that's up to the two of them to sort out. They've probably hooked up a couple of times, they're young and gay. But you and I have been sleeping together consistently for months, so whether or not he's fucking someone doesn't necessarily have an impact on whether or not he wants you. Why don't you ask him out?"

Daniel flushed almost immediately, looking out again. "Oh god no."

"Why not?" I leaned in to nuzzle his cheek. "It worked with me."

"Because I actually want more than just sex with him," came the tiny, somewhat mortified sounding reply, and I laughed, giving in the urge to squeeze him tightly to me.

"You're adorable, you know," I told him, then shifted suddenly to pin him onto his back, leaning over him and smiling as I looked down at him. "Can I spoil you a bit more before we go to sleep?"

Daniel relaxed immediately under the amorous attention, arching up against me a little. "I won't say no to that," he breathed, and pulled me down into a warm kiss.

~~~

It wasn't hard to check the appointment books, to casually slip out of the building a little before John Murdoch was due to arrive. I leaned back against the wall of the building, sipping my coffee, satisfied to see them pull into the parking lot.

Leon smiled as soon as he saw me. "Hey, Frank. I thought we weren't going to see the venue until two?"

I found myself returning his smile, feeling fond and slightly nervous and trying to push it away. Wooing him would have to come later. "That hasn't changed." I looked to John. "Mr Murdoch. Can I speak with you, please?"

He looked a little surprised, as did Leon. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," I assured him. "I just need to have a few words with you of a personal nature. Privately. If it's alright with you, Leon?"

"Ah - sure," he looked just as started as John, but smiled and slipped inside the shop. John raised his eyebrows expectantly, but I took a moment to collect myself, taking another sip of my coffee. I hadn't particularly rehearsed this, and now that he was here I felt a little awkward.

"You should stop beating around the bush and ask out my receptionist," I said finally. "I know you want to. He's sweet on you. But he thinks you don't want him."

"Daniel?" He looked away immediately, trying to play it cool, but his response was a little too quick. "Yeah, he's cute."

"He's more than cute, and we both know it. So ask him out. I'm giving you my blessing. Although I'm warning you now that if you hurt him you'll have to answer to both me and Ben. Probably May, too."

John gave a soft laugh, raising his chin and meeting my gaze. "But you're involved with him."

I raised an eyebrow. "The same way you're involved with Larry?"

"Ah. Touché." He nodded slowly, then smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate the swift kick in the ass. That everything you wanted to talk about?"

"I...." the second item stuck in my throat, and I cleared it. "I might ask out your manager."

John gave a satisfied little hum and a nod. "Good. Now I don't have to give you a swift kick in the ass. But you'll have to answer to me if you fuck him over."

This seemed strangely surreal. "You're not involved, are you?"

"Not since before I hired him," John replied, pulling an exaggerated face and then grinning. "So be good to him."

"Yeah," I managed to reply, a little relieved when John winked and headed inside without saying anything else.

I finished my coffee and tried to calm my nerves before going back inside the shop. The waiting area was empty apart from Daniel, engrossed in his work behind the desk, and Leon, who’d settled in one corner of the Sultan’s Tent, his laptop on the coffee table, texting on his blackberry.

I took a slow breath to calm my nerves, then walked over to sit beside him, offering a smile as he looked up at me. “How’s work?”

“It’s okay,” Leon replied. “Have a lot of work to get done to get ready for Shambhala, but it’s a fun challenge. Things are always a challenge around John, really.” He seemed strangely nervous for some reason, but perhaps it was just work stress.

“I can imagine he’s a handful,” I said, chucking. “You enjoy it though?”

He gave a little shrug, then smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I do, I can’t imagine doing anything else. Just makes it hard to make ties, you know? Before the residency we were on the road so much, I just… sometimes it feels like there isn’t anyone in my life but John.”

I hadn’t really thought about it that way. “You’ll be in Vegas for a while with John in residency, though. Why not take advantage of that?”

Leon glanced away. “It does make it easier to make friends I guess. Just not a great selling feature for a potential partner.” He gave a soft sigh, then forced a grin, looking back at me. “Anyway. I guess John’s only got a few sessions left here, right? Unless he decides to get more work done. I’ll have to go back to working in my hotel room instead of taking up space in your meeting room. It’ll be kind of strange not seeing this place every week.”

“Or you could come in and have coffee with me,” the words tumbled from my lips surprisingly easily, so I continued. “Or we could go out for coffee. Or dinner.”

Leon glanced down at his lap, suddenly adorably bashful. “I thought you were seeing…” he glanced towards the reception desk. “….someone else.”

“Oh for god’s….” How the hell had _everyone_ found out about Daniel and I? “No. It’s complicated, but… no, not anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” he said seriously, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

I shook my head. “Don’t be. It was never meant to be serious. We just realized we wanted different things, different… people.” I wet my lips, suddenly worried that he hadn’t responded to my question. “So I guess that’s a no for dinner?”

Leon looked away, chewing on his bottom lip. “I don’t know…” he said slowly, but then the corners of his mouth twitched, and I could see him fight a smile. “Should I go out with someone who had to ask my client permission to date me first?”

“I did not – “ I grit my teeth. “I’m going to kill him.”

It made Leon laugh, and I relaxed immediately. “Now you know how I feel,” he said, resting a hand on my knee and giving it a squeeze. He looked up at me again, seeming more open and happy than I’d ever seen him. “Dinner. When?”

Now, I wanted to say. “Tonight, if you’re free?”

“You can meet me at Treasure Island at seven, if you like.” He handed me his blackberry. “Give me your number and I’ll text you mine.”

"Sure." I couldn't keep myself from smiling as I added myself to his contact list. "I thought we could head out to see our potential venue at about quarter to? It's not super far but it's been awhile since I've been in the area."

"Okay." Leon let his fingers brush mine as he took my phone from me, his smile soft and sweet as he meet my gaze. "I'll look forward to it."

When we'd decided to throw the fundraiser for purchase of the Desert Rose ourselves, I'd reached out to a couple of contacts I had in building management companies. Peter was an old friend from university who worked in property management, and he'd come through for me immediately when I told him what I needed.

"Thanks so much for meeting us," I said as we met in the building's parking lot, shaking his hand. "This is Leon, the manager for DJ Chessure."

"Don't thank me until you've seen it," Peter replied, taking Leon's offered hand and giving him a smile. "Pleased to meet you. Are you guys seriously going to throw a rave?"

"It's a bit 1990s, but yeah, we are." Leon grinned, looking up at the glass windows that ran along the front of the building. "What was this place again?"

"Furniture showroom," Peter told us, heading towards the front doors and unlocking them. "Client stopped paying rent at the beginning of May, sold off most of his stock and then skipped the country. We have so many vacant properties right now that we haven't bothered to come in and clean it up yet. It's only ten thousand square feet, but I have a feeling it'll work pretty well for you."

I followed him inside, blinking in the dim light after the brightness of the Nevada sunshine, trying to look around the building.

"It has a loft!" Leon's exclamation echoed throughout the space, and he ran past me, climbing the floating concrete stairs leading to the second level loft. The building was a strange mix between industrial and commercial - everything was finished concrete, but styled in a way that definitely did not speak to normal use. The loft took up a third of the hall at one end, and the back corner on the opposite end was a three foot high concrete platform the size of a double parking pad. Walkways around the same height ran along both sides of the space, edged by bright steel railings, and the back wall held what looked like several office doors as well as a big metal overhead door.

Leon disappeared into the loft, and a moment later peeked down at us over the railing. "It's full of couches up here!"

Peter chuckled as we climbed the stairs after him. "The terms of the rental agreement state that everything left in here is ours, but we've already taken out pretty much anything useful. You guys can do whatever you want with anything that's left, it's all going to the dump eventually anyway."

The loft appeared to have been dedicated to kitchen cabinetry and living room seating, the edges ringed with kitchen counters in a variety of styles and floating islands to match. The middle area held a good two dozen couches, most of them looking like they'd seen much better days.

Leon grinned as he turned to us. "You're serious? We can use the couches? You have no idea how awesome this rave is going to be."

"And we've got the counter space to set up whatever kind of bars we want," I remarked. It occurred to me that it was the first time I'd seen Leon so excited, and I found myself smiling. He was adorable.

"I think it was a motorcycle dealership before we bought it," Peter was saying as we took it all in. "This was their office area. There's a set of washrooms up here - six stalls for each gender, if I remember correctly. The main level bathrooms are smaller, but you could probably fit another eight to ten portables in the loading dock."

"There's a loading dock?" Leon was past us and downstairs again before I could blink, and I chuckled, following him down. The overhead door was easy enough to open, and lead to a loading dock and a ramp down to street level. I watched Leon stride down the ramp and look around, calculating, then give a sharp nod, turning back to us. "We'll bring in ten porta potties. And we'll open up the door to the outside and fence it off so we can use the whole dock as a smoke pit. How much?"

"Well, the property rents for $11.40 a square foot for the year, so... we'll say seven grand for the last two weeks of August, utilities all inclusive?"

It wasn't as cheap as I'd hoped for, but it wouldn't break the bank. Leon spoke before I could, though. "Six grand and you have a deal."

"Done." Peter chuckled, and offered his hand, which Leon shook, smiling. "Stop by my office sometime this week and we'll fill out the paperwork. Here, I'll give you my card."

Ten minutes later I had the keys to the place in my hand, and Leon and I stood alone in the middle of the abandoned space.

"It was so hard not to go on about how perfect this is," Leon said, grinning as he slowly turned around to take in the space again. "I didn't want to kill our chances of being able to barter the price down. Frank, this is amazing. We put John and the dancers on the main platform there, and the walkways are wide enough that we can set up your artists stations there. The ceiling under the loft is high enough that we can mount a bunch of the AV equipment like Daniel's augmented reality cameras from it. Then we bring in a couple labourers for a day to haul down a bunch of the stuff from the loft and set it up...."

I couldn't help but smile as I listened to him talk. He seemed completely in his element, and I'd realized from the get go that there was no way I could have even thought about pulling this off without him. Leon caught my gaze and stopped, giving me a questioning smile.

I shook my head in reply. "Has anyone ever told you how amazing you are?"

Leon seemed a bit taken aback, then glanced down with a little self conscious smile. "I always wanted to go into event planning," he said, "But there was better money in PR. Then I made the mistake of going home with John from a bar one night and the next thing I knew I was managing the guy."

"You two didn't work out?"

Leon snorted. "I don't sleep with clients as a rule. And believe it or not, he's not actually my type."

I stepped closer, letting a hand rest on his back, and was encouraged by Leon leaning into me a little. Being with Daniel had given me back some of the confidence of my youth, I'd come to realize, and I was grateful to him for it. "What about people you co-plan events with?"

Leon's smile was adorably shy as he turned to look up at me, one hand moving to rest on the lapel of my vest. "I have no rules about that," he murmured, fingers stroking along the edge of my shirt collar. "Especially when that person is a handsome gentleman such as yourself...."

It felt completely impossible to resist him. I brought my free hand up to cup his face gently, watching Leon's eyes fall closed at the touch, lips parting with a soft sigh. Then I did what I'd secretly wanted to for weeks, leaning in and covering his mouth with my own.

Leon gave the softest moan against my mouth, arms slipping up around my neck as he arched into me. I let myself pull him close, hands stroking down his back to rest on his waist as I caressed the warm, inviting softness of his lips with my own again and again. The slightly nervous feeling of anticipation I'd been feeling was only amplified by kissing him, mixed with the heat of desire and a trembling sense of wonder that he was here, now, in my arms. When Leon's lips parted to mine I took the invitation, tasting the sweetness of his mouth, giving a soft moan to echo his own.

I finally broke from his kisses to try and catch my breath, nuzzling along his jaw and pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "God..."

"I've wanted you to do that for so long," Leon murmured, and I drew back to look at him curiously.

"Really?"

He laughed softly as he glanced away. "Yeah. Sorry, I... I'm kind of rusty at this. I get so caught up in work...."

"I know," I reassured him, nuzzling his hair. "Me too. And I'm apparently completely useless when it comes to realizing when someone likes me."

Leon relaxed into me a little more and I held him close, certainly not in any hurry to get back to reality. "What made you decide to ask me out?" He asked, voice half muffled by my chest.

My conversation with Daniel had been the final push, but that wasn't the root of it. "I guess I just started thinking.... It's so easy to get lost in work, to get caught up in being busy without taking time for what's important," I said slowly. "It feels like you have all the time in the world. Then something happens, like... your store goes up on the chopping block... and you start to think about how fragile everything is and how if life gives you a chance for happiness you need to pursue it without excuse or restraint."

Leon's arms tightened around my waist slightly. "... it's been a very long time since I've done something that hasn't just been about John. Since I've done something just... selfish, just for me. It's... been kind of lonely." 

More than the sense of wonder I felt, his words awoke a protectiveness in me, a desire to take care of him and make his loneliness disappear. I pulled back to press my lips to his forehead, then cupping his face again to tilt it to mine for a kiss. "I can help you with that."

"I'd really like that," Leon breathed, and kissed me again.

~~~

 

**Daniel Carson**

I should have been more upset about things ending between Frank and I. But instead of sorrow, it just awoke in me this trembling sense of anticipation, of uncertainty. Of excitement for what could possibly come to be.

It had been a lie, of sorts, when I'd told Frank that I wasn't sure whether or not John Murdoch was interested in me. I was certain of it; he'd made his interest absolutely clear. It was one of the reasons why being around John always left me feeling on edge and dazed and slightly manic.

I wanted him. Very much so. The problem was my own sensibilities, the little nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that whatever ended up being between us wouldn't, couldn't last. He was far too beautiful, too successful and too charismatic not to be able to get anyone he wanted. Why would he stay with just me?

Still, I couldn't help but feel a heady sense of anticipation. I'd accepted the inevitable... the only questions now were when and how.

Leon came in on his own before John's appointment, smiling and greeting me before settling in the waiting room with his laptop. Leon always struck me as keeping himself very busy, but it had been even more so since he'd started working with Frank to plan our benefit at the end of August. I could only hope, for Frank's sake, that he could find time for Frank....

"Good morning, beautiful." John's greeting from the doorway made my face heat instantly - why wasn't I used to this by now? - but I managed to give him a smile.

"Good morning, John. I'll let Larry know you're here."

"No, stay here for a moment." John caught my gaze, his smile softer, but there was a certain kind of excitement and intensity there that was... different. He opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think the better of it, giving a little shake of his head instead. "So. Larry says I'm almost done, probably just one more appointment, the one we bumped to two weeks after Shambhala. Which is great, because then I'll only be a little bit scalely at the festival. But not so great, because then I won't have an excuse to come see you every week and will have to find real reasons for it. Leon, do you have the paperwork?"

"Of course I do." Leon pulled a folder from his laptop bag, and I felt my pulse begin to race as he walked over and handed it to me. "Have a read through it, and if you have any questions we can talk about it later."

"Two years," John said softly, still smiling. "Well, give or take, I figured we might as well take it right to the end of the calendar year. It includes the option of indefinite extension should we both be agreeable. I've put the start date as Shambhala, but if you need to give more notice at KA we can push it back. There's allowances for you to continue to work here when we're in town, if you'd like. You'll have to work that out with Frank."

"I - I'm sure it will be fine," I managed to stammer, feeling a little overwhelmed. "Thank you."

"Are you harassing my receptionist again?" behind me, Larry's voice was a welcome distraction, and I turned to give him a smile.

"Your one o'clock is here." I said, just for the normalcy of it, though it was a completely unnecessary statement.

Larry chuckled, turning towards the back and trusting John to follow. "Let's get you set up."

I looked up at Leon. "Are we still running our tests this afternoon?"

"Yes, if that's still alright with you? I'd like to make sure the program runs without a hitch on both of the new macbooks, and have yours as backup. As long as today runs smoothly we'll do a full trial run at Wonderland on Thursday."

"Of course." Booking the time off from KA to prepare for Shambhala hadn't made my boss the happiest person in the world... but perhaps now I could give notice properly and she could start looking for a replacement. It was strange and a little exciting to realize this could be my last week at the theater. It was more exciting to realize we only had a week and a half before the first of John's sets at Shambhala.

"Great." Leon smiled and went back to his laptop, and I tried to keep my hands from trembling as I opened the folder he'd given me, starting to read through the contract of employment. I had to force myself to look at it calmly and read through everything. I was vaguely aware of Frank coming in from outside to sit beside Leon, and I paused for a moment to listen, smiling at the bits and pieces of their conversation I could hear. Frank seemed so much more relaxed now than he had before we'd hooked up, and I liked to think that our relationship had as much to do with it as the help I'd given him in the shop.

Frank caught my eye with a wink and a little smile as he headed to his office, and from the spring in his step I couldn't help but return the smile, feeling warm and happy for him.

Then I turned to the next page of the contract.

"Are you alright?" Leon asked after a moment, and I tore my gaze away from the figures on the page to look up at him.

"I - am I - "

"You squeaked," he said, with a little bemused smile, closing his laptop and getting up to return to the reception desk. "Is there a problem?"

I looked down at the figures, then back up at Leon, lowering my voice. "You can't pay me this much."

"I can't pay you that much," Leon agreed, still smiling. "But he can. Just insert the normal rationalizations about the worth of your inherent skill and wanting you to be financially comfortable so you can devote everything to your craft, etcetera, etcetera. Believe me, this isn't all that different from the contract he offered me, although my pay is based much more closely on his profits, of course. John would tell you that he recognizes the importance of properly compensating people who are very good at what they do."

"But does he realize the regular pay scale for technicians in my - "

"There's nothing regular in the EDM industry," Leon replied, chuckling. "That's what makes it so great. Besides, I'd argue that calling yourself a 'technician' is an insult. We hire artists."

It was hard to keep my head from spinning. "And I can give two weeks notice any time I want to leave?"

"With the commitment to finish any scheduled shows, of course. Though I do hope you won't want to leave."

Oh god, why would I ever want to leave! "And there's this... weird sexual harassment clause...."

"Yeah, his insistence. Good thing I've never taken him up on that one," Leon remarked, and snorted. "Think about it. I have to finish up a few things before Frank and I leave to see your venue. We can talk after the appointment?"

"Of course," I managed to stammer, realizing that it was going to be very difficult to concentrate on any of my work after this.

~~~


	9. Chapter 9

**Daniel Carson**

“People on Acid are going to have the best night of their lives watching this.”

I glanced over to John and laughed softly. In front of us, Wonderland’s new projection system displayed an image of the dancer we’d brought in for the trial. Ribbons of multicoloured light streamed from her hands and the hoop in waves, the colour pulsing and changing to the beat of the music. “And you would know this how?”

“Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder what you're at,” John remarked, shrugging, completely avoiding my question as if he hadn't even heard it. “You know, this, on Sunday night at the Village stage at midnight… we’ll go down in raver history.”

“Can you change the visualization again?” Leon stood on the other side of John, frowning as he regarded the projection.

I picked up my iPad from the bar table in front of us and switched to bubbles. “Good?”

Leon watched for a moment, then gave a sharp nod. “Next.” I switched to the pixie dust, then sparkles, then flames, the after-images, one effect after another as Leon requested, then back again.

“The visualizations won’t glitch on us,” I told him, more than confident in my programming. “I’ve tested them thousands of times. The setup is the new element. It seems fine.”

“I don’t know if I like risking the prime time slot at Shambhala on something so untested,” Leon said seriously. “It’s nothing against Daniel’s work, I just don’t know if I trust the technology. What if we have issues with the wi-fi, what if the iPad won’t sync?”

I chuckled softly, shaking my head. “Leon, I have so many backup plans in place you wouldn’t even believe me if I told you. But it’s your call.”

We both glanced to John, who had a little smile on his face as he continued to watch the dancer on screen. “Hm? Oh. Yes. Definitely.” He paused for a moment. “What?”

“Shambhala,” Leon repeated patiently. “Do you want to risk it, or not?”

“Of course I want it,” John replied immediately. “If we run both systems on Thursday for the whole night and nothing goes wrong that we can’t fix then there won’t be any issues running it for an hour and a half at Shambhala. Will that work for you?”

“We’ve only set up for one system here, though,” Leon pointed out. “We only have one dance station.”

“Hm.” John appeared to consider this for a strangely long period of time. “Well, I suppose…. then I guess I’ll just have to wear the other system. Or bits of it, at least. Set up the censors with the DJ camera. I’ll put the censor band on my hat and wear the fingerless gloves. It’ll be hot.”

“We could do that,” I agreed, mentally going through my selection of visualizations and deciding a good number of them would still work well even on a fairly stationary subject. “Do you have a set list for Thursday?”

John shrugged. “Well... you know. I thought I’d start out with some jungle, then a bit of glitch hop, some trip hop, slow it down with a bit of trance for a song or two, then build it up with some drumstep, electro house, drop a good amount of dubstep, sneak in a bit of hardstyle while people aren't paying attention, some skweee, progressive house, tech house, a bit more dubstep... and then end with some dubstep.”

“You sure you don’t want to fit some Country in there?” Leon asked, and snorted.

John grinned and shrugged. “If the energy of the night calls for it.” He looked to me, his smile softening. “I don't generally plan out my nights here very much, it's just fun. How would you feel about controlling everything manually, on the fly? You know my style by now, I think you can follow my lead.”

His confidence encouraged me. “Of course I can.”

“Good. Leon, can you take care of getting things packed up and pay the dancer? I’m going to take Daniel up to my suite and go over his paperwork. Then we’ll…. run through some scenarios for Thursday. I won’t keep you. I know you have a date.”

“Shove it,” Leon replied, but he was smiling. “Be nice to our new team member.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” John promised, giving him a wide grin. "Hey, can I tweet about the visuals?"

Leon nodded. "Just tell them we're launching some great new show elements on Thursday. The less we say the more people will show up to find out what it is."

"Done," John said, pulling out his phone.

I half-watched him as I shut down the visualization on the macbook. I had to admit that I'd checked out John's - or rather, DJ Chessure's - Twitter a few times, and something about the way he interacted with his fans endeared me towards him more than I already was. It didn't surprise me that it was one of the most followed Twitter accounts in the EDM industry. His kindness, the quirky personality, and his seemingly boundless enthusiasm wasn't an act. He'd never been anything but generous to the Rose and I was quite certain a good half of the calls I took for Larry came from people who said they'd seen John's tattoos in progress on Twitter. We'd been worried about people coming just for celebrity sightings, but John was always gracious and friendly and always took time for his fans, even if it meant some of the other artists had ended up tattooing his signature onto more than one excited client.

Sometimes he seemed too good to be true.

Walking to the TI elevators, it was hard not to think about the fact that I was going up to John's suite with him. Alone. I could feel my heart in my throat, my hands embarrassingly shakey. We ended up alone in the elevator to the top floor, John scanning his swipe card and hitting the button wordlessly. Then he turned to face me, giving me a soft smile. "Did you like the offer?"

I drew a slow breath to try and calm myself, nodding. "It would be difficult not to like it. I'm concerned you're paying me too much."

John chuckled. "Leon said the same thing when I hired him. Mind you, I think now he'd say I don't pay him enough." He smirked at the thought, leaning against the wall of the elevator. "I want you to work with me because you want to be here, not because you've signed your life away."

I shook my head slowly. "I'd be a fool to turn down this opportunity."

"Don't be so certain." John regarded me, his green eyes calm. "There's a reason I'm offering this to you now. After Shambhala you aren't going to be small potatoes anymore, you know." He paused for a moment. "Do you want to wait to sign?"

I shook my head again. "I want to work with you. I like what we've done together. I think we see things the same way."

"Good," John replied, and as we left the elevator I felt his hand come to rest gently on the small of my back. The touch was not unexpected, but it still left me feeling slightly dizzy, and as we made our way down the hallway it took me a moment to notice the porter ahead of us. He was pushing a linen covered trolley holding two bottles of red wine and a wrapped bouquet of red roses in a vase. John greeted him with a smile and a twenty dollar bill. "Perfect timing, George. Thank you."

"Always a pleasure, Mr Murdoch. Can I bring it inside for you? Or open the wine?"

"I'm fine, thank you." He stepped ahead of me to swipe open the door, leaning into it to push it open and tugging the trolley after him, glancing up at me. "Coming?"

The wine accompanied a very fancy looking fruit and cheese platter, and I felt my heart pound faster. "What is all this for?"

John left the tray by the room's small dining table, grabbing a corkscrew and going to work on one of the bottles. "Well, the wine is hopefully to celebrate your decision to join the team. The cheese plate is to eat with it. And the roses are to invite you to stay for dinner with me. Can I take your bag?"

"I - I'm all right," I managed to half-stammer, setting my laptop down on the counter for the wet bar and leaning on it, half for support. "John...."

John glanced up at me, giving a soft, reassuring smile at my obvious anxiousness. He set the bottle of wine aside without pulling the cork, stepping close and bringing one hand up to rest on my arm, warm and strong through the thin cotton of my shirt. "Daniel... I'd like very much to date you. And to hire you. But not because I want to date you. I'm just really hoping I can date you as well because I think you're amazing in every way I ever thought possible and some ways I never imagined."

Hearing the words from his lips, though half expected, still made my stomach tie itself in knots. "I - can we do that?"

"Why not?" John's thumb stroked my arm slowly. "Those offers aren't mutually exclusive unless you want them to be, but if you want one but not the other it's all right, I won't be offended. And if you're worried there's a clause in your contract where if you ever feel sexually harassed you can leave with full pay to the end of the contract, no questions asked."

"I did see that," I answered, still feeling more than a little dazed. "I'm sorry, I - this is all very sudden...."

"I'm sorry," he said softly, stroking his hand up and over my shoulder, then brushing his thumb against my cheek affectionately. "I've wanted you since the moment I met you. Since the first time we spoke. My beautiful, shy Daniel...."

My skin felt warm in the wake of his touch, and more than anything I wanted to give in to it. "I don't know if I can do this," I murmured, unable to meet his gaze.

Instead of pulling back, John's hand moved to rest on my shoulder again, his thumb stroking my skin through the thin cotton of my shirt. "You don't know if you can, or you don't know if you want to?"

The question was too incriminating. I forced myself to look up at him instead. "John... tell me something? Before you were famous.... your first big break, the moment when you started feeling like you actually might become a real DJ. Was there someone responsible for that?"

"Oh, that's easy. Neal Caffrey. He's the one who started booking me to open for the big names at the Marquee at home."

I swallowed. "Would it have made a difference to you if you'd been sleeping together?"

"We hooked up quite a bit, actually. He was hot." John glanced to me, then gave a sheepish smile. "Oh, sorry. That's not what you..." He stopped, glancing down and laughing softly before raising his gaze to mine. "I didn't want to date him, or he me, but if we had... I probably would have went for it."

It didn't help the butterflies in my stomach. "And when you broke up?"

" _If_ we'd broken up," John said calmly, "Then I would have trusted him to be a good man and not let it affect the very good work we did together. And he would have been." He stepped closer to me as he spoke, his free hand moving to smooth around my waist as the other cupped my cheek again, urging my face up so he could meet my gaze. "Are you really frightened of risking your career, or are you scared of getting hurt?"

I felt like I could hardly breathe. If I'd found his intensity overwhelming before it was nothing like it was now. It felt like all of my senses were completely dominated by him, the warmth radiating from his body, the subtle spiciness of his cologne. The silken murmur of his voice. "I don't know," I managed to reply, the tremor in my voice betraying my nervousness.

"Shh...." John leaned closer, and I closed my eyes to the inevitable, feeling his lips press to my forehead first, soft and warm. Despite myself, I leaned closer to him, every inch of me craving physical contact. His breath was a tease against my skin as he placed another kiss to my temple, nuzzling my cheek. "I won't, you know. Hurt you. Or your career. I like you too far much for that."

It was hard to think, with him so close to me, with the words he was saying, and I felt like my heart might pound from my chest. "John...."

His lips pressed gently to the soft skin under my ear. "Do you want this, Daniel?"

"You know I do," I gasped, hardly thinking, and John gave a soft, happy hum in reply. His lips brushed against my jaw as his fingers slid into my hair, and when he finally kissed me it felt like the cumulation of a hundred years of waiting, yearning, longing for him. John kissed the same way he did everything else when it came to me; sweet, warm and intense. His kisses built slowly from the first, gentle press of his lips to an insistent claim of my mouth, sucking on my bottom lip, tongue flicking against my skin. My lips parted to his without hesitation, craving his intensity, craving the passion I'd seen behind those green eyes and longed for so many times.

John's arms slid around my waist as I wrapped mine up around his neck, pulling me close to him as he turned to press me back against the side of the bar most deliciously. "My Daniel," he murmured, low and possessive, and I wasn't sure whether it was his words or the press of his body to mine that made me so turned on. His hands smoothed down to cup my ass, pulling me closer, and I gave a soft whimper against his mouth. It felt like it was all I could do to just keep breathing, my fingers stroking restlessly through his hair and over his shoulders. The heat of his body, his mouth against mine, the clench of his hands at the small of my back; all of it was intoxicating, everything I'd wanted for so long.

But what if this was all he wanted?

Was I really prepared to go to bed with him if this would only be a casual tryst? Could I continue to work with him while I watched him pursue other people, sleep with other people?

"You're trembling," John murmured, nuzzling along my jaw. He shifted a little so I wasn't pressed quite so firmly against the side of the bar, one hand stroking up and down my spine. "You okay, beautiful?"

"I'm sorry," I breathed, burying my face in his neck. "I just... it's a bit overwhelming."

"It's all right." I felt him press a soft kiss to my hair. "How about a glass of wine?"

I'd almost forgotten he'd asked me to dinner. The idea of a glass of wine to calm my nerves sounded perfect, and I felt myself relax a little against him. "Wine would be amazing, thank you."

John's lips brushed my cheek as he drew away, a fond, affectionate smile gracing them. He finished pulling the cork from the wine bottle, pouring generous glasses for both of us. "You're completely adorable, you know," he said as he handed one to me.

I laughed softly, feeling my cheeks heat. "And you are entirely too handsome and charming for your own good, Mr. Murdoch."

John swirled the wine in his glass with practiced ease. "Too handsome and charming? You're saying that's a bad thing?"

"You'll end up stealing everyone's heart," I said, taking a sip of the wine to try and steady my nerves.

"And if there's only one heart I care about stealing?" His smile was almost teasing, and he lifted his glass to mine. "To new business ventures and a great new partnership?"

"Definitely," I replied, glad to escape remarking on his first question and more glad for another sip of wine. "Oh - I should sign the paperwork...." I turned to pull the folder out of my bag, pausing for a moment as he moved to stand behind me, one hand smoothing around my waist and his face pressed against my hair.

"We can take things as slow as you'd like," he murmured. "Please don't be nervous. Good things don't need to be rushed, right?"

His words relieved me more than I expected, and I let myself lean back into him. If he was willing to wait on my direction then it was less likely that this was only about sex, wasn't it? "I... I really appreciate that. I just... feel like I need to take things slow."

John gave a soft, approving hum, kissing my hair again before taking a sip of his wine. "Happy just to be in your company. Is dinner a yes?"

I nodded, finding myself smiling as well. "I'd very much like to have dinner together."

Dinner was actually a rather relaxing experience. John and I nibbled on the fruit and cheese that had been brought up with the wine, chatting while we perused the dinner menu, which was, I was told, far more extensive than room service. We finished the first bottle of wine as we talked and ate dinner leisurely, along with a pair of cocktails we ended up ordering with the meal, and I had no complaints when John popped the cork on the second bottle of wine when we'd finally finished eating.

"Do you want to test things out a bit more?" he asked, topping up my glass. "We've never actually sat down and spun together. I can hook up my tables to the sound system in here and your macbook to the TV?"

I was definitely tipsy, but wine always made me a very nice kind of drunk, feeling warm and languid and happy. "I'd like that. We can practice for Thursday."

"Exactly," John replied, getting up from the table, and it was hard for me to keep from admiring his ass as he crossed the room. He disappeared through a door into what I assumed was a small office, returning a few moments later with his macbook and a turntable controller under one arm, setting them down on the coffee table. After pondering the entertainment unit for a few minutes, he finally pulled the whole thing away from the wall, disappearing behind it and coming back triumphantly with a number of cords. "Here's the HDMI for you."

It didn't take us long to get everything up and running, and John slipped into the groove of mixing with a natural ease that was beautiful to watch. Even without the camera system set up, the visualizations my program generated were still really neat looking, responding to my control and the beat of the music. From the few times we'd been out to Wonderland and from the material John had sent me I felt like I'd become decently familiar with his style, enough that I could begin to anticipate the transitions and changes in tone or tempo that would call for a change in visuals.

It was familiar to me, and, more than half drunk on wine, it became much easier to talk to John without feeling so anxious, to just be around him and not worry about anything else but the pleasure of the moment. It was easy to get into the grove of spinning together, listening to song after song and half dancing together as the evening grew late. I felt spoilt, getting a private show from him, loving watching him go to work, loving how much fun he seemed to have doing it.

I gave a little appreciative moan at a particularly good transition, enjoying the thrum and wobble of the bass as it dropped. "God, you're so good, John."

John grinned, pleased, nodding to the beat of the music as he retrieved the bottle of wine from the coffee table. "More? Mmm, we're almost out. Damn. Should I call down for another one?"

"I'm not going to be able to do anything if you order another bottle of wine," I replied, laughing. "I'm not even sure about now."

John chuckled, slipping an arm around my waist as he poured the rest of the bottle between our two glasses. "You have a point. Come here, I'll show you how to mix."

I let myself be pulled over to his tables, leaning into him as I took another sip of wine, enjoying the closeness and familiarity without thinking much about anything else. "I can't mix."

"Anyone can learn to mix with patience and practice," John argued, taking a large swallow of his wine before setting the glass down. "Let me show you how the controller works."

Feeling relaxed and blissed out from the wine, I listened happily as he explained what the different sliders and knobs on the controller did and what they were used for. I was familiar enough with other kinds of audio mixing boards from KA, so the controller itself wasn't nearly as complicated as I thought, and before I knew it I was letting him lead me through mixing in another track, matching the tempo of the beat and syncing it up to match to the next song. Even as tipsy as I was, it made sense, and as the song progressed I let him guide me through picking another and mixing it into the first.

John nuzzled my ear, body warm against mine where he'd pressed up against my back. His arms encircled my waist loosely except for when he needed to reach forward to adjust the controller or demonstrate something for me. It made it difficult to forget how good it felt to kiss him, to think about anything other than wanting to do it again. With the transition to the next song complete, I let myself lean into him more, stroking my hands over his and pulling him closer. "Thank you for having me over, John... this is so nice."

"Mmhmm...." John's breath was hot where it teased against my ear, his lips brushing against the edge of the shell. "Love being with you...."

I did too, I realized, and I always had, despite whatever nervousness I'd felt around him. It was my own uncertainties that caused my nerves, and nothing he'd done at all. For the moment, my was body lax and warm from the wine, and it was difficult to remember what it felt like to be nervous at all.

I turned in his arms before I could second guess myself, smiling softly and meeting his gaze as I arched up to press my lips to his.

John's soft moan was appreciative and throaty, returning my kiss with more than a little desire as his hands smoothed over my back. I let myself lean back against the edge of the table behind me that we'd put our equipment on, half needing it just to steady me but loving more the feel of his body pressed close to mine. John was more than arousing, intoxicating, his hands stroking hungrily over my back and sides and ass as his kisses grew more demanding. His mouth was wine sweet as he licked into mine, teeth grazing my bottom lip as he sucked it between his.

It was hard to think in that moment, hard to want anything but more of this, of him. My fingers clenched at the small of his back, groaning against his mouth as he rocked his hips slowly against mine, the pressure and sensation against my already half hard cock sending a shudder of arousal up my spine. "Oh god, John...."

"Want you so bad," he murmured against my mouth, his fingers stroking up the back of my shirt to caress my bare skin underneath. The insistent rock of his hips against mine was maddening, leaving me craving more sensation, and I couldn't help but wrap one leg around him, pulling him closer with a little helpless groan and arching up against him in return..

John's mouth was hot on my skin as he trailed warm kisses along my jaw, sucking at the hollow under my ear. Somewhere along the lines the track had finished - or had it been two, now? - and switched to another song without guidance, something with a low, thrumming baseline that fed my need for him.

John nipped lightly at my earlobe. "We should move before we knock over the table...."

"Hm?" I tried to get my bearings, feeling almost dizzy and disoriented from his kisses. Then I pulled away, catching his hand and pulling him over to the couch, leaning close to claim his lips again with a low, needy moan. I don't particularly remember how we ended up stretched out on it, just how good it felt to be pinned underneath him. John's mouth was hot on my own, then on my throat, the tease of his teeth on my skin sending a shock of arousal to my cock where it strained against my slacks. I could feel him pressed hard against me through his jeans, the rock of his hips against mine both delicious and maddening at the same time when I felt so turned on and needy.

I let my hands slide up his shirt and over his bare skin, whimpering as he nosed aside the collar of my shirt to kiss and suck on the crook, worrying it with teeth. I left my head fall back more to him, wrapping my thighs around his hips and arching up against him helplessly. "Oh my god, John...."

"So fucking good," he breathed, tugging the first few buttons of my shirt undone to give him more room to kiss and nuzzle my skin. Then he gave a little impatient noise in the back of his throat, undoing the rest of my shirt as he claimed my mouth again, tearing hard, demanding kisses from my lips as his hand stroked hungrily over my bare chest.

Part of my mind registered the beep of the the room's card reader, but I was far too focused on John to care until I heard May's amused little giggle. "Good evening, boys."

John laughed breathlessly as he pulled from my lips, pressing an affectionate kiss to the end of my nose before looking up. He shifted with me so we were half leaning against the arm of the couch and in a slightly less compromising position, but kept his arms around me possessively "Don't you guys ever knock?"

"Don't blame me when you're the one making out in the living room," Anna said, chuckling. "And here we were just being nice and thinking we'd ask you if you wanted to join us for a nightcap."

"I think we're already night capped out," I replied, my little laugh self-conscious, buttoning my shirt up again and trying not to feel embarrassed about this whole turn of events.

May glanced over the abandoned empty bottles and wine glasses and gave a soft hum of understanding. Then she looked back to me. Though her manner was easy, I could see a bit of concern in her eyes. "I thought you'd be at home. With... you know."

I realized I hadn't thought about Frank in ages, and the reminder of everything that had happened just made me smile. I felt surprisingly happy about everything, but especially about Frank. "He's on a date with Leon."

May's eyebrows rose. "John's manager Leon?"

"Yup. God, I hope that boy gets laid," John remarked, giving a soft chuckle.

"And on that note, we're going to bed." Anna walked past to ruffle her fingers through John's curls. "Where you should probably go as well, my dear brother. We'll see you for breakfast tomorrow morning."

"Definitely breakfast," John agreed, grinning and watching them disappear off into what I assumed was Anna's room. Then he looked down at me with a softer smile, stroking his fingers along the side of my face. "Sorry... I guess this isn't exactly taking things slow."

The interruption had cooled my head a bit, enough for me to remember why I didn't want to move too fast in the first place. I let out a long, slightly shaky breath. "Yeah. I suppose... I should probably really go home...."

It was difficult to resist the little pout John gave me. "Stay. I'll behave myself. I want to have breakfast with you in the morning. I have an extra t-shirt you can sleep in if you want. You can borrow my shower too. For as long as you want."

I ran my fingers over the side of his face, watching his hopeful smile and wanting to do anything but leave. "Are you sure?"

"That I can behave myself?" John grinned, turning his head to press a kiss to my fingers. "For as long as you want me to. Stay with me, Daniel. Please....."

How could I say no to him? "I'd love to," I replied, smiling and brushing my lips against his in a soft kiss.

We shut down all the equipment and turned out the lights in the main suite, John wheeling the trolley of abandoned dishes out into the hall. He sent me into the ensuite bathroom with a clean black t-shirt and one of the hotel robes, pulling me close for a yearning, blistering kiss that almost made me completely forget my admonishment not to sleep with him. Then he pulled back and smiled. "Take as long as you like. See you in a bit."

In the shower, I let the water run hot over my bare skin, tilting my head back into the spray and closing my eyes as I curled my fingers around my cock. I was far too keyed up to resist the urge. Part of me felt almost stupid, stroking myself when I could be out there with him having so much better than a quick jerk in the shower. But it was better this way, wasn't it? To try and build a relationship that wasn't just about jumping into the sack as soon as possible.

It would happen soon enough, I thought as I worked myself, remembering the press of his lips, the warmth of his body, the way he sounded when he was lost to pleasure. How good his hands felt on me. There was nothing I wanted more than to submit to him completely, to have him hard and deep inside me, and it was to that thought that I finally came, biting down on my bottom lip to keep any sound from escaping my throat.

When I returned to the bedroom John seemed to be already asleep in bed. He stirred at my approach, blinking up at me with a sleepy little smile, lifting up the blankets with one arm. "Come. Sleep."

I left the folded pile of my clothes on one of the chairs and hung up the bathrobe, slipping into bed with him wearing his t-shirt and my boxers. John's body was warm and languid and relaxed as he curled around me, nestling his face into the nape of my neck and pressing a kiss to my skin. "Night, beautiful."

It felt good, being close to him. Safe and secure. Between that and the remaining drunkenness of the wine it was easy to relax into him and give myself over to sleep.

~~~~

 

**Leon Husselbeck**

It didn't take long to pack up after we'd finished our trial of the augmented reality equipment. I made sure everything was safely locked away, paid the dancer we'd brought in to help us, and still had time to return to my room and shower and change before I needed to meet Frank. I still hadn't quite acclimatized to the Las Vegas heat, especially in the middle of summer, so I decided to forgo a suit jacket for a vest, pulling a gray raw silk number out of the back of my closet which had originally been part of a very nice black tie ensemble. I wore it over a shirt that was almost the same shade of dark gray, knotting a light blue tie around my neck and pulling on a pair of slim-fitting pearl gray slacks.

Frank gave me a warm smile when he saw me in the lobby, greeting me with a lingering kiss, his hands sliding around my waist. "You look amazing," he said softly, the look in his eyes definitely appreciative, and it made me feel warm all over.

"Thank you," I replied, feeling a little self-conscious and enjoying the touch when he slipped a hand into mine. "And here I thought you dressed well at the shop."

Frank's suit looked very sharp on him with his fedora, well tailored and sleek. Though I had no idea how he managed to wear a jacket in the heat of the summer evening. He chuckled, twining our fingers together. "I was thinking we'd go to Lakeside at the Wynn. It's walking distance, so we can share a bottle of wine if you like. Have you been?"

I found myself smiling, shaking my head. "No, it sounds great. Thank you."

The hotel was kitty corner to Treasure Island, but I hadn't really ventured there before beyond the few times we'd gone to meet Anna after her show finished at night. I definitely hadn't tried any of the restaurants. It seemed too frivolous to indulge in fine dining, especially when my meals were inclusive at TI. John and I had gone to dinner a handful of times since starting his residency here, but for the most part we just did dinner in his suite. I appreciated now that I hadn't... it was nice to go out with Frank and experience something fully new.

The restaurant was pretty busy when we arrived, even for a Tuesday, but Frank seemed unconcerned. "My friend is new to Vegas," he told the hostess, slipping a twenty into her hand. "I was hoping we could have a drink at the bar while we waited for a table on the terrace to become free."

She smiled, the cash disappearing. "Go right ahead and sit wherever you like at the bar. I'll get you when your table is ready."

"Nice," I remarked, and Frank chuckled, his hand warm on the small of my back as he took me into the restaurant. And it was; nice to let someone else take charge of things for once. It was one of the many things about Frank that had made me realize that trying to deny my attraction to him was completely a lost cause. Even when my discreet inquiries had revealed he was quietly seeing the Rose's cute little receptionist, it didn't stop me from wanting. I'd relegated myself to only enjoying our time together in a professional sense... the fact that he'd asked me out today had been almost unbelievable.

He insisted on paying for my martini at the bar, and we'd just finished our drinks when the hostess reappeared, taking us to a small table right up against the railing on the terrace. The chairs sat beside each other, overlooking a small, still lake ringed by exotic looking greenery. I looked around with a little smile. "... this place is really nice."

Frank looked pleased. "I'm glad you think so. It's a nice spot to eat. It's not quite as awe inspiring as having dinner on Bellagio's lake, but in all honesty the restaurant offerings are much better." He glanced out at the lake as he picked up the wine list. "Should be a show soon, I think."

"A show?" I stared at the lake. On the opposite side of the lake was a large, white brick wall that had water cascading down it like a shallow waterfall. It could be a screen of some kind, I presumed. Sure enough, shortly after I'd picked up the menu the lights on the lake dimmed, and a giant animatronic frog rose up from behind the waterfall to sing 'What a Wonderful World'. I found myself chuckling softly as it finished. "It's so... so...."

"Vegas?" Frank supplied with a smirk, and I laughed.

"Yes. It's fun, though. I like it."

"The singing frog is one of the tamer ones," Frank told me. "They do some really weird compositions here. I think they had one of the original Cirque du Soleil guys consult on it or something."

"That would explain a lot," I agreed, looking over the menu.

One of the waiters appeared at our table to introduce himself, and Frank ordered a bottle of white wine. "Do you know if 'Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini' is on the play list for the water show tonight?"

"Should play in an hour," he replied with a smile. "It's a favorite."

The service was excellent, and it didn't take long for the wine to arrive, the food following it. It had always been easy to fall into conversation with Frank. I'd thought he was charming before, but dinner was even more delightful. Frank seemed happier than I'd ever seen him, though the way he looked at me was almost disbelieving.

"I'm really enjoying this," I told him, shortly after the lake had treated us to some strange interpretive musical display with coloured balls that seemed to be courting each other. "I mean, all weirdness aside. You look like you expect to wake up any moment, though."

Frank chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I guess I just can't figure out how someone as engaging and good looking as you is still single. Travelling aside. There must be someone."

I took a sip of my wine, smiling, giving a little shrug. "Here and there, but nothing of substance. I guess I'm a bit... picky?"

His eyebrows rose. "You're picky, and I'm what fit the bill? I mean, you should know by now that you're definitely my type. But I didn't expect you'd be interested."

I gave him a soft smile as I turned to look at him, letting my eyes move over his form. "I suppose you could say I have a certain weakness for gentlemen. Distinguished gentlemen. They're few and far between these days." I shrugged slightly. "When we were still in New York I went out with a couple of different men, but usually not for more than a handful of dates. I find the type of men I usually go for aren't huge into my lifestyle. I mean, with John and the parties and everything."

Frank nodded slowly. "Jealousy?"

I rolled my eyes. "God yes. There's no reason for it, though. Despite what John's behaviour might make you think."

Frank glanced away, frowning a little. "Leon, please tell me truthfully... do I need to worry about him and Daniel?"

I hesitated. "Probably not. Actually... no. No, you don't."

"You don't sound so certain," he said, looking more worried.

"It's hard for me to admit that mixing business and pleasure is a good thing," I said, rueful. "But I feel like I know John pretty well by now, maybe better than almost everyone. He may be a slut, but he takes love seriously when it happens. And I've never seen him as taken by anyone as he is by Daniel."

"And the ridiculous flirting?"

I chuckled. "He likes harassing people to watch their reaction. I think it's his strange way of showing he cares. We only went to bed together once, to set the record straight. And I was very drunk and rebounding and somewhere in there he still decided I'd make a good manager. I have no clue how that happened, really."

"Well he obviously made the right call," Frank noted, sipping his own wine, seemingly satisfied by my answers. "That's a hell of a rebound, though."

I gave a soft groan in reply, shaking my head. "God, you don't even know the half of it. I want to be annoyed, but it's my own damn fault anyway."

Frank turned towards me, concerned. "I'm sure that's not true."

I shrugged, leaning back a little in my chair. "I let one of my Profs in University talk me into bed. I fell pretty hard and I was gullible enough to believe the whole 'I love you, I'm leaving my wife' thing. Then he got fired for knocking up one of his female students." I glanced away, draining my glass and feeling suddenly rather silly. 

Frank refilled my glass wordlessly, topping off his own with the last of the bottle. Then he took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head slowly. "Just my dirty laundry. Time and distance heals broken hearts, and I've had plenty of both."

He gave a soft hum of understanding. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I did leave my wife, about ten years ago. And she took me to the cleaners for cheating. Then my boyfriend upgraded to someone richer." He looked over at me. "I take my commitments very seriously now."

The assurance made my pulse race unexpectedly, and I didn't make any move to pull my hand from his. "And you haven't found anyone since? I mean, other than...."

"Daniel found me, believe it or not. Before that I think I'd convinced myself that romance was more trouble than it was worth, so I let work occupy my days. I'm not really into casual hookups, I'm not exactly the Adonis most men here are looking for, anyway." Frank said, and gave a little shrug. 

"What, those chachi guys who live in the gym? Fuck that." I wet my lips. "I think you're perfect. I don't understand how Daniel could have let you go."

Frank turned into me a little more, meeting my gaze seriously. "I do love Daniel," he said quietly, searching my gaze as if begging for understanding. "He made me remember how to love someone. But I realized he wasn't the one I was falling _in love_ with. You understand, don't you, Leon?"

I felt like my heartbeat must be audible, and I managed a small nod. "Of course."

The lights dimmed on the lake again, but this time the music was a beautiful piano theme. I glanced towards the waterfall screen to find two giant animatronic flowers rising up behind it, moving and blooming slowly in time to the music. It was genuinely beautiful, invoking a feeling of an old fashioned grand romance. Frank squeezed my hand again gently, thumb stroking the back of it. "I really like this one. I'm glad it's on the playlist."

It was easy to get caught up in the romanticism of it. "... this is the theme from Somewhere in Time, isn't it?"

Frank gave me a curious little smile. "Yeah, you know that movie?"

I grinned and glanced away a little self-consciously. "I had a bit of a thing for young Christopher Reeves when I was a teenager. He was so handsome."

Frank nodded slowly, knowingly. "Mmm. Distinguished gentlemen."

I laughed softly. "Yeah." I sat back in my chair, watching, enjoying the warmth of his company and the soft buzz from the wine. "And maybe I'm a little bit of a romantic."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Frank told me, his smile soft and adoring.

The number finished, and Frank drained the rest of his wine. "Would you like to order dessert, or shall we head out? We can go for a walk along the strip of you like."

"Or we could go have a drink in my suite," I offered. God, I wanted him. I'd wanted him before; I would have probably let him fuck me anyhow and anywhere he wanted if he'd asked, even in the warehouse we'd seen today. Now, after spending dinner as the sole focus of his affection, I couldn't imagine going to bed alone tonight."

From the look in Frank's eyes as he nodded, I was certain I wasn't the only one who felt that way. "I'll get the bill."

We made our way back through the hotel and onto the strip. The sun had set while we were at dinner, and the huge waterfall at the hotel's entrance was backlit, the rushing water beautiful and bright in the twilight. I stopped with Frank at the railing in front of it, leaning into him a little as he wrapped an arm around my waist. I felt him press a kiss to my hair. "I'd like very much to continue seeing you, Leon. Will you let me take you out again?"

The words sent a thrill of happiness through me. I turned into him, resting my hands on the lapels of his jacket and leaning up to kiss him softly. "I'd really like that."

I felt like I couldn't get him back to my hotel room fast enough. I briefly pondered jumping him in the elevator, and only the addition of a cute little older asian couple as the doors were closing kept me in line. It seemed like it took the elevator forever to reach our floor, but finally I was able to take Frank down to my room.

Frank gave a little approving nod as he looked around the suite. "They treat you pretty well here. Two bathrooms, too?"

"They call it a petite suite," I said slipping out of my shoes. "I think they knocked down the wall between two regular rooms and renovated accordingly. Ignore the work mess on the desk. Can I take your jacket? Hat?"

Frank handed them over with a little smile, though I was secretly sorry to set the hat up on the closet shelf. "I really like this hat on you, you know."

He smiled. "I was pretty happy when they started coming back into fashion. I've always had a bit of a thing for classic film noir."

"A true romantic," I noted, crossing the room to the mini fridge and regarding the contents. "I have... Scotch, Jack, and a bottle of shiraz? I'll have to go out for ice, though."

"Scotch and water?"

"Done." I poured one for myself as well, and we settled on the couch together. Frank took a sip of his drink, then wrapped an arm around my shoulders to pull me closer, something I didn't mind at all.

"So," he started, voice low and warm. "Tell me about this gentleman fetish of yours."

I didn't recognize the cologne he was wearing, but it suited him perfectly; classic with a touch of spice. I took a too large swallow of my drink to try and resist the urge to climb into his lap and lick his neck.

"Well, other than the style, which goes without saying..." I paused, pondering my words for a moment. "I guess it's... I know it's silly and a little bit emasculating and such, but sometimes I feel like... I have so much going on at work and in making sure his career stays on track and solving all the world's problems, and I just... at the end of the day I want to be with someone who can help me forget about it all."

The corners of Frank's mouth turned up into a slow, almost dark smile, and he set his drink aside on the coffee table before leaning closer and lowering his voice. "Do you want me to tell you what I think, Leon?"

The promise in his voice made my pulse race, and I wet my lips, letting my hand rest on his thigh. "Yes...?"

Frank glanced down at my hand before moving his to mirror the touch, fingers stroking slowly, teasingly high on my thigh. "You're very good at what you do... incredibly responsible and proficient. You like older men because you want someone to take charge of things, don't you? Someone who can take all the responsibility away from you so you can just feel. Someone who'll reward you when you're an obedient boy and spank you when you're naughty."

I had to bite my lip on a moan, feeling my cock twitch in arousal at his words. "Y-yes."

"Good," he murmured, and leaned in to claim my mouth with his own. I gave a soft whimper against his lips, managing to set the remains of my drink aside blindly before curling into him, wrapping my arms up around his shoulders. It was so easy to lose myself to the passion of Frank's kisses, to his hands, smoothing around my waist, over my hips, tugging me closer. "You look so damn amazing. Feel like I can't keep my hands off you."

"Don't try to," I gasped, wanting to crawl into his lap, lips parting to another searing kiss. Frank gave a low groan, hands stroking my thighs, tugging me closer to encourage me to kneel over his thighs. I wanted the contact so badly, pressing my body to his, groaning breathlessly against his mouth as his hands slipped down to cup my ass, pulling me closer, encouraging the rock of my hips against his own. I was already half hard, and being manhandled was quickly making me even more so, grinding my hips against Frank's and gasping against his mouth at the shudder of pleasure it sent up my spine.

Frank nipped at my bottom lip before starting to kiss my neck hungrily, broad hands stroking over my thighs and ass. "Leon. Tell me, then... have you been a good boy, or a naughty one?"

The moan that escaped my lips was embarrassingly needy, and I tried to squirm closer to him, feeling like it was impossible to get close enough to appease my desire. "Oh my god. I've been so good. Very, very good."

"Good..." his reply was a purr, fingers kneading at my ass as he rolled his hips up against mine, and I could feel the press of his hard cock through his slacks. "Then I'm going to spoil you all night. How would my boy like his reward?"

The way he said boy, low and possessive and adoring and just a little bit dirty all at once made me feel almost mindlessly aroused. "God, Frank.... anything you want."

"That's not what I asked now, is it?" He nipped teasingly at my neck, fingers smoothing from my ass to stroke up my chest, starting to nimbly tug the buttons of my shirt and vest undone. His grey eyes were dark from desire as he pulled away to speak. "You want me to suck you off until you come in my mouth? Maybe with my fingers inside you? Or... no." He rolled his hips against me again, smiling at my gasp. "You want to be stripped down and ravished, don't you? You want to come with my cock deep inside you?"

"God, yes." I surged forward to capture his mouth again, fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, pulling his tie undone and off. It seemed like forever and yet no time at all before we were half naked, before Frank was pulling my slacks undone, sliding a hand inside to cup my cock. I whimpered, needy and breathless, rocking up against his hand. "Oh god, Frank, please... it's been so long...."

"Want to ride me here on the couch?" he murmured, licking up my neck and sucking at the skin.

"I want you to fuck me up against the wall," I gasped, hardly thinking, just needing to be completely controlled and overwhelmed by him.

"God..." Frank bit harder at the crook of my neck, his hand clenching hard at my ass. Then he pulled away, eyes dark. "Strip down for me. Lay back on the couch and pull your knees up to your chest and wait for me."

I nodded breathlessly, pulling away from him to stand, my heart pounding hard in my throat. He stood as well, capturing my mouth in a hard kiss before heading over to the coat closet, returning with a couple of condoms and a small bottle of lube. He flicked off the entryway light as he did, leaving the room lit only by the lamp beside the couch and the pot lights over the headboard of the bed.

I'd done as he asked as he moved, laying against the arm of the couch and pulling my knees up to my chest, feeling like I was on display for him and loving it. Frank's eyes narrowed as his eyes raked over me, sinking down onto the couch beside me and stroking a hand up the back of one thigh. My cock was rock hard against my stomach, and I couldn't hold back my groan as he took me in hand, stroking me slowly, running his thumb through the arousal that pearled at the head of his cock. "Mmm. You've been a very good boy, haven't you?"

"So good for you," I gasped, whimpering as his fingers moved back to stroke down the crease of my ass, teasing against my hole. "Oh fuck, please...."

"Please?" He smirked and leaned down as his fingers continued to stroke and tease me, licking over my sack and up the length of my erection.

I bit my lip on a moan, feeling almost desperately, embarrassingly turned on. "God, Frank, please fuck me."

"You ask so nicely. I will... in good time," he murmured, sucking briefly at the head of my cock. Then he shifted down more, licking behind my balls, drawing his tongue over the tight pucker of my ass.

"Oh my fucking god, you're incredible." The tease of his tongue against sensitive nerves felt amazing, made me even more turned on, and I couldn't help but moan as he repeated the motion again. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so completely overwhelmed by the physical, like I'd do anything he asked me to as long as he didn't stop. When he pressed one lube-slick finger inside me it was maddening. "More. Please. God, don't make me wait any longer. Please...."

Frank licked a stripe up the length of my erection one more time before moving to lean over me and pressing a kiss to my mouth that was almost sweet. "So needy, my boy" he murmured, working a second finger in me, fucking me slowly and stretching me open. "So desperate...."

"Need you," I whimpered, trying not to squirm under him and failing when his fingertips brushed up against my sweet spot. "Oh fuck - ! Frank, please - !"

"Shh..." Frank's kisses were reassuring. "Come on then, love. Up against the wall?"

I followed him as he pulled away, claiming his mouth and tugging at his belt almost frantically. When I finally had him in hand I groaned against his mouth, loving the length and girth of his erection. "Ohhhh, yes... Perfect...."

Frank gave a soft, appreciative hum, grabbing a condom off the coffee table and rolling it on deftly. Then he pulled me to my feet, kicking off the rest of his clothes before pulling me close and claiming my mouth hungrily. I drew a sharp breath as my back hit the wall behind me, arching up against him and hooking one leg over his hip, arms wrapped around his shoulders. "God, Frank - !"

He pulled back just enough to slick his cock, capping the lube and tossing it in the direction of the couch. "Legs around my waist," he hissed, hooking one arm under my ass and lifting me. In moments I had exactly what I wanted; Frank's cock pressed against me, stretching me open as he rocked into me with insistent thrusts, thick and hard and perfect. I felt completely helpless, braced between him and the wall, my fingers digging into his shoulders as my body shuddered around him, trying to adjust to the penetration. I wanted to feel completely lost to his passion, a slave to his pleasure, wanting to think of nothing but the sensation of him hard and deep inside me.

"You're so tight..." Frank mouthed at my throat, holding me securely as he rocked up a little harder, burying himself to the hilt. "God, Leon...."

It was all I could do to hang on, pulling my thighs higher around his waist for deeper penetration and crying out as he sheathed himself inside me again. "Fuck, yes - ! Harder!"

"Harder?" Frank's words were punctuated by another thrust, the head of his cock brushing up against my sweet spot, a hard shock of pleasure rushing through me. I felt his teeth on my neck as I cried out, nipping at my skin. "This what you want? Just want me to fuck you hard, make you a slave to my cock?"

"Yes - !" Each thrust jarred my body, pleasure bursting white behind my eyes as he bucked up into me again and again. His cock was so hard and deep inside me, so perfect, our bodies connecting just right as he fucked up into me hard and fast.

Frank nipped at my earlobe, breath hot in my skin. "Wanted you so bad. Wanted to push you over my desk and fuck your tight little ass... wanted to make you scream, come all over my desk...."

"Please - !" The thought was too much, too erotic, my cock hard and aching, rubbing against his abs just a little as he used me, hard and deep. It wasn't nearly enough stimulation, but the hard shocks of pleasure each thrust sent through me - that, that was more than enough, everything I'd loved and craved and wanted so badly.

I knew I wasn't going to last long like this, not with being so overwhelmed by pleasure. Each thrust pulled a breathless gasp of pleasure from my lips, and as he nipped at my neck again I cried out helplessly. "God, more - so good - !"

Frank answered with a harder nip, bucking hard up against me, filling me up. "Come on, love. Want to feel... know how badly you need this... oh god, Leon - !"

I let myself give in to desire, fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough to bruise as my passion built and crested, pulling me uncontrollably over the edge. I cried out wordlessly as the pleasure overwhelmed me, each thrust of his hips forcing another bolt of sensation through me as I came. I was half aware of Frank gasping my name against my neck, breath hot as his thrusts grew erratic, and finally I felt him pulse inside me and come, the heat between us sending one final shudder of pleasure through me.

I whimpered softly as I tried to catch my breath, still hanging on tightly to his shoulders. Frank's breath was hot against my neck, and he pressed a soft kiss to the crook of my neck, my skin a little tender from our passion. "Hold on tight," he murmured, both arms tightening around me to hold me securely as he carried me over to lay me down on the bed. 

I drew a sharp breath when he pulled away, and Frank pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, hands stroking over my hips. "You alright, love?"

"I miss you already," I murmured, not wanting to move an inch for hours. 

Frank chuckled, pulling away to knot off and toss the condom before curling around me again on the bed. "I'm right here."

"But not fucking me," I said, giving a soft, sated chuckle. I moaned, soft and appreciative as I wrapped my arms around him and curled close, nestling my head against his chest. "Let's do that again. Lots."

I could hear the warmth in his voice as he replied, fingers stroking up and down my spine. "I think I can manage that."

I shifted a little to look up at him, stroking my fingers over his hair and returning the little content smile gracing his lips. "Stay with me?"

"For as long as you'd like," Frank promised, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of my nose.

"Even after I leave Vegas?" I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't help but fear it. Frank gave a soft, reassuring noise under his breath, kissing me again.

"Even then," he murmured, fingers stroking through my hair. "I'll come kidnap my boy from his work whenever he wants. As long as you'll let me come around."

"Perfect, I breathed, curling up against him again. I wasn't certain exactly all of what would entail, but as long as he was was with me, perhaps it didn't matter.

~~~~

 

**Daniel Carson**

 

Wonderland, like many clubs in Vegas, didn't ever completely close. During the day half of the club was a full service restaurant, and a portion of the rest acted as a lounge. Though John didn't start spinning until eleven, the club closed down at nine for half an hour for setup and to clear out non-ticket holders before the opening act took the decks. I had more than enough time to go home and get ready after finishing my shift at the Desert Rose and join them for setup.

The technology behind my augmented reality visualizations wasn't incredibly complex, as far as I was concerned. Well, the actual coding of the program was something the average Joe might have found overwhelmingly complex, but the theory was easy. It was just a matter of defining and mapping areas of the input video - whether through the infra-red and censors, or manually, then layering them on top of each other to allow the illusion of a three dimensional aspect to my visualizations.

To set up the program on John's DJ camera I only needed to tell the program the difference between him, the decks, and the space around them. I set up a selection to scroll through randomly as the night went on, everything from throwing the entire shot into high contrast, 3 colour display, to making it look like John was operating a plasma globe whenever he touched his deck.

Everything was ready to run, so I took my iPad out to where Frank and Leon were tucking the supplies for the dancers safely into a cabinet under the DJ booth. "Anna should make it back from rehearsal in time for my set to start," John told me, "and May's going to try to come down for a little bit once she's finished at the Rose. I want them both to get the most dance time to prepare for Shambhala. The girl who's going to be filling in between them will be here around eleven, Leon will take care of the details." 

I nodded. "Sounds good. Do you want to see what your DJ cam is going to look like?"

"Hells yes." John grinned, grabbing the censor gloves from where they sat beside his decks and pulling them on.

"If you get tired of wearing them it'll still look okay," I told him, pulling up the display on my iPad and stepping so I was mostly out of frame. "But when you are wearing them, we can do visualizations like this...."

"Lightning hands? That's so cool!" John moved his hands over the decks, watching the effects on the screen. "I feel like a kid on Christmas. I'm going to head up to my suite for a bite before we start, want to come?"

I hadn't had a chance to really see him since I'd left his suite after breakfast the day before. "I had a bite at home, but I'd love to come up."

"Great. Don't worry about food on show nights, I'll make sure you get fed for free." He looked over at Leon. "Leon? Dinner?"

"I'm... meeting someone," he said, glancing away, and I couldn't help but chuckle at his self conscious flush. He shot me a look. "Hush, you."

"I didn't say anything," I replied, trying to smile as innocently as I could, and was rewarded by a wide grin from John.

Back in his suite, John pulled me into his arms, catching my mouth in a warm kiss. "God, I missed you."

"I missed you too..." I relaxed into his embrace and let my head rest on his shoulder. "I almost wish I hadn't given notice at work. Now I'm training my replacement every night until we leave."

John gave a little dismayed moan. "This is the last time I'll see you before Shambhala?"

"It's my last free evening until we leave on Thursday," I said, and sighed. We'd booked a red-eye flight to Spokane late on Thursday after the Rose closed. The plan was to stay the night there, sleep in, then drive up across the border to Salmo on Friday afternoon. Leon was going a day earlier to drive in the RV and make sure all of the equipment had arrived safely. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," John replied, pulling away with a soft smile, fingers brushing my cheek affectionately. "I'm just being silly. What would you like to eat?"

Spending the night with him had made me feel more reassured about everything, made it easier for me to relax around John. The only problem was that with my nervousness all but gone, it was difficult to think about anything other than how good it felt to be close to him, how amazing his kisses were and how much I wanted to go to bed with him.

We finished a bottle of wine between the two of us, and it was easy to set aside my better judgement and indulge for a little while, pulling John close for the kind of kisses I'd been craving all day. I ended up pinned under him on the couch again, lost to his kisses, the warmth of his hands through my clothes.

"Feel like a teenager again," John murmured, chuckling softly as he nipped at my neck, his hips rocking against mine, making me gasp and arching back up against him. He licked up to nuzzle my ear, still rocking against me slowly. "Love feeling how hard you are.... really want to go down on you, Daniel... suck your cock into my mouth and swallow you down until you come down my throat...."

His words made me feel almost mindlessly aroused, and I whimpered helplessly as I arched up against him, wanting very much to say yes. "... do we have time?"

"Hm?" John pushed himself up to look at the clock, then pouted. "Fuck. No... we'd better get ready and down there." Leaning down, he stole one more lingering kiss from my mouth before pulling away.

I took a deep breath, trying to will my heart to stop racing and ignore the fact that the dark jeans I had worn were feeling very uncomfortable indeed. 

This was going to be a hell of a night.

~~~

Once we got started, it was easier to focus on work and not worry about John. We got the system running with only a few hiccups that weren't even the fault of the technology, and it was hard not to get caught up in the buzz of excitement from the club outside my tech booth, watching John spin, watching the dance of the crowd.

Was this really going to be my life? It was almost unbelievable. It was amazing, it was... perfect.

Shortly after 1am Anna took over the dance station again for the last hour of John's set. The club was packed - was it normally this busy on a Thursday? And John seemed to be at the top of his game. A few songs in, my iPhone buzzed in the pocket of my slacks. I wasn't too surprised to find the text message was from John. _'Come down and see me in the DJ both, my dear Daniel?_

I glanced out at the dance floor, then at John, who was looking in my direction from his deck. He grinned and made a beckoning motion with one hand.

I checked the macbooks that were running the visualizations, making sure everything was on track. Then I tucked my ipad into my shoulder bag, nodding to the sound tech and slipping out of the room.

John pulled me in for a tight hug as I reached his stage, smiling. "This is the busiest Thursday I've ever seen. It's so high energy. We're amazing together."

I gave a soft laugh, shaking my head and feeling a little self-conscious about it. "It's still you. I'm just dressing things up a bit."

"More than a bit," John argued. "Hang on, let me load up the next track."

The new song was an electro house number called 'Promise Me a Rose Garden' by group out of San Fran called The M Machine, who I'd put on at the shop a couple of times. I smiled. "That's next? I love that song."

"I know," John said, grinning. "Watch how I mix it in."

I watched his hands on the decks and the display on the laptop, beginning to remember what he'd taught me on Tuesday night, beginning to make sense of his actions and methods. It only took a moment to update the visualizations to something appropriate, rose petals falling from Anna's fans on screen, the background of her dance changing to a mirrored lake at night with roses floating in the water.

I could tell the energy of the audience was high, the crowd out in front of a mass of jumping, dancing party-goers. The dance floor was packed, and I wondered how some of them managed to dance at all. The new song playing strong, John removed the previous one from the channel on the mixing board. Then he took the volume down a little, and then leaned into the mic and flicked it on. "How are we doing, Las Vegas?" He grinned at the resulting cheer. "I'd like you to meet my White Rabbit, Daniel. He's the genius behind my sexy new visualizations. Aren't they amazing?"

I found myself taken a little aback by the roar of praise that followed, and I caught sight of Anna on screen making a couple of spectacular flourishes with her fans to trigger off bursts of effects. "He's going to be working with me for at least the next two years," John continued, "So you better be prepared for things to get a lot more wild. And if you think this is awesome, just wait until you see what we have planned for my UnBirthday on the 31st. Tickets are on sale tomorrow at noon, I'll be tweeting about it all morning."

John flicked the mic off and brought the volume back up before turning to me with a smile. "Okay. Now that you know what everything does, we're going to get ready to mix in the next track. What do you want to play?"

I fought the urge to give the first answer that came to mind, which was completely self serving. "Well," I started, trying to think through other songs I liked, "we've been going pretty hard for a while, so maybe something a little more low key?"

"Fuck low key," John said vehemently. "Electro house is a great for building up to amazing awesome times. Do you want to drop in Jabberwock?"

I felt a thrill of excitement in the pit of my stomach. "Can I?"

"Hell yes. This song is perfect for it." John pulled me closer, his left arm around my waist, pointing to the image of the waveform of the song we were listening to as it scrolled across his laptop. "We've got a couple of minute to prepare for this, so don't worry. See this bit here where it calms down? You match the bpm, and then when this calmer part hits you're going to mix them together slowly, so that Jabberwock takes over right in time for the big drop."

It sounded simultaneously amazing and terrifying. "John, that sounds really complicated."

"It sounds way more complicated than it is. I'll direct you," he said, scrolling through his music library and loading Jabberwock into the second channel of the deck. He gave me a light squeeze and a warm smile. "Don't worry. I won't let you screw up."

"Alright," I said, returning his smile bravely and reaching for the sliders he'd indicated and trying to pretend that my racing pulse wasn't due to him standing so close to me. I'd been so comfortable with him earlier, but now, on stage in front of everyone....

John pulled away to take the headphones off from around his neck and put them over my head, one side over my left ear. Then his arm slipped around my waist again, and he pressed close while still letting me have full access to the deck. "You get a feel for your own material when you do this every day," John told me, pointing towards the waveforms of the two songs on his macbook. "But you can do it visually as well. Go ahead and start Jabberwock now, you'll only hear it in your headphones because the channel's completely out. As we adjust it you'll be able to hear the beats match to what's playing now."

I double checked anyway, then started the track, following his guidance to match the beat of the two songs together. "We don't just cross fade it though, right?"

"Not if you want to call yourself a DJ," John replied, snorting. "Watch the wave form, though - we're almost at the break. You can see this increase here on Jabberwock, that's the drop, that's when we want to switch it over completely."

I nodded, trying to focus on the music and following his directions, adjusting the levels on the sounds as directed. I could feel a sense of anticipation come over the crowd as the beat faded, the song quieting to almost nothing more than its sweet female vocals.

_'I cannot be sure I see the future in my head....'_

"Take down the bass on Rose Garden," John told me. "Get some slow distortion on the vocals as you fade in just the high notes for Jabberwock. Good - yes, like that."

It was hard to explain how or why, but the distortion made the music slowly become more and more intense, and I could feel the buzz reverberate through the crowd. "Let it build," John urged me, though I didn't have to be told. "When you think it's right, bring up the bass on Jabberwock. You'll be great."

I nodded again, watching the waveform and feeling the music build, crescendo, the tense anticipation of the crowd around me. _'Blaming myself for all I need help for in my head...'_

My heart was pounding painfully in my chest, nervousness and tension all tied up with the build of the music. But I knew this song, and I could hear the build of Jabberwock in my other ear, and I found myself adjusting the levels like he'd shown me almost instinctively as the high distortion of Rose Garden built towards its breaking point.

_'...in my head, in my head, in my head, in my head....'_

As the music crested, the heavy bass of Jabberwock mixed in smoothly, the wobble and wub of the drop taking over for the finished Rose Garden vocals. I felt as much as I saw the effect it had on the crowd, the tension and anticipation I'd built crashing into a wave of sound, to moving, dancing bodies grinding out the heart-rattling intensity of the bass. I'd been in the audience for transitions like this a hundred times, but it was nothing compared to the elation I felt now, the rush of adrenaline through my veins.

"Perfect." John's voice was a silken purr in my ear, and I glanced over to find him grinning widely. "You're a natural. Just fade out Rose Garden as you bring up the mid for Jabberwock and you're golden."

"That was a hell of a thing," I breathed, making the adjustments as he'd directed, flying high on the rush of the crowd.

"Now you know why we do it," he agreed, still grinning. "It's almost better than sex, isn't it?"

For a moment it was all I could think about: John's mouth on mine, the way his kisses took my breath away, how badly I wanted more. I wanted to drag him back to his dressing room and tear his clothes off.

But we had a show to finish.

I smiled, taking the headphones off and stepping away from him as I did. "Thank you," I said, grabbing my iPad to quickly update the visualizations for Jabberwock.

"Go and dance for a bit," John urged me, still smiling. "Let these visualizations run for a while, I'll keep the music hard and bassy for the next couple tracks. Meet me in my dressing room after everything's done."

I nodded, slipping my iPad into my bag and slipping into the crowd of dancers in the VIP section.

"Daniel!" I was unprepared for May's hug, almost knocking me off my feet. "Oh my god, that was incredible! Such a sick drop, I can't believe that was you! This is the best party ever!!"

I laughed, knowing well May's near manic excitement when she was in full party mode. Her praise was heady, and I couldn't think of a single reason to argue with her proclamation. "Let's dance," I said, grinning, and lost myself to the familiar thrum of the bass.

May and Anna slipped out shortly after two, as John began to wind things down for the house DJ to take over. I shut down the visualizations after they'd left, packing everything away and locking it up safely, watching John with a little smile as I did.

"You've been amazing, Las Vegas! Don't forget about my Un-Birthday on the 31st, all profits going to benefit the best fucking tattoo shop in the city, the Desert Rose. Tickets on sale tomorrow through my Twitter, DJChessure. Stay safe and remember - always do five impossible things before breakfast!"

I reached his dressing room scant moments before he did, and then John was pulling me into his arms, kisses hot and demanding and very effectively driving every thought from my head. After the rush of the party every nerve in my body felt on edge, screaming for sensation, wanting to rip his clothes off and have sex right here against the dressing room door.

John's hands smoothed down to cup my ass as he kissed along my jaw, grinding slowly against me. "Stay with me," he murmured, breath warm against my skin, and it took every inch of self control to resist him. I forced my hands to still on his back, turning my head to catch his mouth and indulge in a slow kiss.

"I can't. You're too tempting."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he said, kissing me again, a little more yearningly. "We don't have to have sex, love. Come upstairs and take a hot shower with me, let me suck you off...."

"God..." I forced myself to break from his mouth and step away, one hand on his chest to keep him from pursuing me. "I can't, I can't. I want to stay, you have no idea how badly. I just... need to know for myself that this isn't only about sex...."

John's expression softened into a small smile. "Okay. I understand."

"Soon," I promised, because I was certain I couldn't hold out much longer myself.

John nodded, catching one of my hands and bringing it to his lips to place a soft kiss to the back, his adoration and intensity making my stomach tie in knots. "Can I take you for a late lunch tomorrow before you have to go to work at KA?"

I smiled and gave a little nod. "I'd like that very much."

~~~~

 

**John Murdoch**

Being with Daniel was simultaneously the most fulfilling and frustrating thing I'd ever experienced. I was certain I was head over heels in love with him. I'd never had the patience to continue a pursuit that had taken this long before; I would have given up on him long before I'd even had my talk with Frank if I wasn't in love with him. I couldn't blame Daniel for wanting to make sure things were certain between us before we got any more involved, though. I hadn't exactly built a reputation of being the most chaste performer, even for a DJ. But I hadn't wanted anyone but him in months. God, I hadn't even fucked anyone since Larry and I had last hooked up. Having Daniel so close and having to behave myself was agony. I could only hope that if I continued to adore him while respecting his boundaries that it would assure him I was here to stay. He was so unabashedly sensual when he was with me that I was sure it wouldn't be much longer.

I hadn't bothered buying a car in Vegas. Leon had driven his very nice Lexus across country, and it was easy enough for me to secure a service when I needed one. I managed to grab a luxurious BMW that day, taking Daniel to a little French style bistro and bakery somewhere in the suburbs that served amazing brunch food, and we were just finishing up when I got a text from Leon.

_'Can you guys meet me at the Rose? Good things are happening. Thought you might want to tell the shop.'_

I grinned as I read it out to Daniel. "Want to grab some pastries from the bakery to take back for the crew?"

He nodded. "Do you think we've sold enough tickets already?" We'd determined the space could fit 2500 people comfortably - taking the loft into consideration, as well as a bit of flexibility for last minute media or VIP guests. We needed to sell at least a thousand to make sure our costs were covered and meet the fundraising goals for the Rose.

I shrugged, leaving money on the table for the bill. "It's possible? Leon said he had a couple of back pocket promotion ideas he was working on." Other than tweeting a link to the ticket sales at noon, I'd left the launch of the event completely up to Leon, having no doubts he'd do an amazing job of it.

Leon was getting out of his car when we arrived, and gave us a wide grin as he met us. "You want to see how the ticket sales are going?" He asked, pulling an iPad out of his messenger bag.

I smirked and eyed the new technology. "Celebratory iPad?"

"I was incredibly jealous of Daniel's," Leon replied, chuckling. "Here. You're going to want to see this."

He opened his internet browser, navigating to the EventBrite website, which we'd chosen for ticket distribution due mostly to being able to scan tickets using their cell phone ap. I stared at the screen, and heard Daniel give a low whistle behind me. Then I looked up at Leon. "Are you serious? How the hell did we manage this?"

"I've been spinning the whole fundraiser-benefit angle pretty hard," Leon said, his smile more than a little proud. "And it caught on. DJ Magazine's going to be getting in touch with you - both of you, actually - at Shambhala on Monday afternoon before we head home to interview you for an article. I'll be there, don't worry. And BPM's coming to the event, they're going to do a whole feature on it."

I shook my head slowly. "You're amazing. Do you want a raise?"

Leon chuckled, shaking his head. "I'll take a couple of personal favors to replace the ones I used up on this," he explained. "You know Tiesto's back in residence at XS at Wynn on Sunday night, right? Well, his PR guy was nice enough to plug our party on their site on Monday and through Social Media. Wolfgang Gartner's in Wonderland Thursday-Friday and plugged us as well yesterday, suggested people come out for the 'Triple Crown of Raves'. We're doing the same, of course. I've already updated the website and your facebook, I'll leave Twitter up to you, since you're so addicted."

Daniel shook his head a little incredulously. "Can we tell the shop?"

"That's why we're here," Leon replied, grinning up at me. "I'll let you have the pleasure, John."

"Sweet!" I had to restrain myself from taking the stairs two at a time, grinning at the Rose's other receptionist, Julie, as I slipped out of my shoes.

"We'll only be a couple minutes," Daniel assured her as we made our way into the back.

Cherry looked up from her client as we came in, immediately looking a little worried. "You're here! Are the tickets okay?"

I grinned in reply. "If I can steal a moment of everyone's time, I have an update for you." I waited for a moment until all eyes were on me before continuing. "I am pleased to announce that as of..." I looked over at Leon. "What time?"

"3:52pm," he reported.

"As of 3:52pm, DJ Chessure's Un-Birthday benefit for the Desert Rose is completely sold out."

For a moment there was only silence. May finally broke it, staring at me disbelievingly as she put her tattoo gun down. "We... sold out?"

"In under four hours." I reported, grinning. "I'll have you know that's a record even for me."

"And over three quarters of the tickets were sold outside Las Vegas," Leon added with a smile.

I was suddenly glad May had put down her tattoo gun. She gave an excited squeal, jumping up and rounding the tattoo bed to throw her arms around me. I caught her, laughing, as the shop dissolved into excited chatter and congratulations.

"I take it that this will bring in the remainder of the funds the artists require for the purchase of the shop?"

I turned as May let go of me to see Frank standing beside an older Asian gentleman who I'd seen around the shop a couple of times, and I quickly realized this must be the store owner. "More than enough. Barring any freak natural disasters, of course."

Saito gave an approving nod. "Then Frank and I will begin the legalities of the sale of the shop. Congratulations... and thank you."

Ben met my gaze seriously. "I owe you for this, John. We all do. Thank you."

I grinned. "You don't owe me anything, it's my pleasure. Just don't kill me when I steal Daniel away to travel the world with me."

Ben glanced to where his brother stood behind me, meeting his gaze for a moment before giving Daniel a fond, approving smile. "I think I can deal."

The whole experience left me nearly glowing, and as I left to take Daniel home I realized that I was almost more excited about this than I was about headlining at Shambhala.

~~~

 

By the time we boarded the plane for Spokane, I was so excited about Shambhala I could hardly think about anything else. The plane was small, but I had managed to book the four of us into business class, wide, comfortable leather seats in pairs for the trip. I slid my carry-on into the overhead compartment, then took Daniel's from him and did the same. "Do you want the window seat? The strip is so gorgeous at night from the plane."

Daniel hesitated, then gave me a warm smile. "Sure. Thank you."

Settling into our seats, I caught his hand in my own, giving it a warm squeeze. "I'm so happy you're coming with me, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing this is going to be."

Daniel chuckled softly, squeezing my hand back and leaning into me, nestling his head on my shoulder. "Even better than Electric Daisy Carnival?"

"EDC is great," I replied, "But it's just... it's not quite the same. EDC is very Vegas. Shambhala is... I don't know, it's Shambhala. They don't have any kind of sponsorship apart from some of the sound system crews who run the stages, so they can run things exactly how they want to. And the whole place is =dedicated purely to the festival, this beautiful mountain valley in the middle of BC. When there's no festival they just fill the place with cows."

Daniel glanced up at me, raising an eyebrow dubiously. "We're going to a cow ranch?"

"No! God no. It's... you'll see. You'll understand when we're there."

"All right," Daniel gave me a little smile, resting his head on my shoulder again. "I trust you."

I smiled, pressing a kiss to his hair and letting myself revel in the happiness of the moment as the plane readied for takeoff.

"Psst, Daniel."

He raised his head again. "Hmm?"

I grinned, lowering my voice to a whisper. "Want to join the mile high club?"

For a long moment he returned my gaze evenly. "If you ever hire a private jet I'll think about it."

I felt my smile widen. "Seriously?"

"If you're a good boy," he replied, leaning in to kiss me softly, then sitting back in his seat for take off.

It was in the wee hours of the morning when we finally reached Spokane, picked up our SUV from the car rental, and got checked in to the hotel. I was far too exhausted to have more than a few cursory thoughts about sex, but I was glad he was with me, his body warm as I curled around him in the hotel bed. It felt good just to be close to him, I found myself thinking as we drifted off to sleep. I could definitely get used to this.

~~~


	10. Chapter 10

**Ben Carson**

I’d thought everything would get better when I’d taken care of my relationship with Amy. I’d been sure that my continued relationship with her had been the root of all the uncertainty between Larry and I, the cause of the sadness I saw in his eyes sometimes when he looked at me. So it had been freeing to me when Amy had called me on it and left. Not having sorted things out with her had almost felt like I was cheating... but on Larry, not Amy. And while I still felt some regret for the way the relationship ended, I knew in my heart that it had given me the freedom to pursue what I really wanted, what actually made me happy.

It had made things better, for a while. Larry seemed happier than I’d ever seen him, and when I was with him the way he looked at me, the way he smiled… sometimes I felt like my heart would burst with happiness. But as the weeks went on I saw those smiles less and less, and it seemed like he was pulling away from me. Growing distant.

I tried to tell myself that it was just the hours we were working, the stress of trying to save the Rose from being sold, but a nagging paranoia in the back of my mind told me it was more serious.

Then there was the matter of his tattoo.

I loved the cherry tree dryad on my chest more and more each time we worked on it. I loved our sessions more because they’d become one of the few times we really had to sit and talk and just be together. Larry seemed perfectly content during them, like we’d be doing this forever. But I had yet to return the favor. We hadn’t really discussed it since I’d first agreed to do it for him. I knew what I wanted, but nothing seemed to turn out right. I’d done up half a dozen designs trying to make it work, to refine it, but somehow it seemed like I hated each one more than the last.

I wanted a fire bird, a phoenix, which was a motif I’d done dozens of times before. I thought it suited him, his passion and strength. His decision to fly halfway across the world to reinvent himself and start fresh. It was perfect for the irregular space, too – the head on his shoulder, wings curling half around the knot work already on his chest, tail feathers sweeping across his abdomen. But nothing was right. It had to be better. It had to be perfect.

The day John announced that we’d sold out the benefit, when I could let myself start to believe we'd actually save the shop… I realized Larry had hardly reacted to the news at all.

“Have you thought any more about going in with us on buying the Rose?” I finally broached the subject as we walked home one night, watching him carefully, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze.

“I don’t know, Ben…. It’s a huge commitment, buying into a business. I haven’t even been here a year yet.”

”But you’re doing the benefit too, an equal portion of the proceeds is yours. Should be more, you know. You made the contact.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I just did the art. Your reputation brought him into the shop. You were the one determined to save the Rose, you got Frank and Leon planning this whole thing. What am I going to do, a couple hours of tattooing in one night?"

"Regardless of whether or not you want to buy into the Rose, you're getting a full share," I told him simply. "Bank it if you don't want in on the business. I have no problem buying extra shares. But don't downplay your role in this."

He looked over at me finally as we climbed the steps to the house, giving me a little smile that seemed slightly sad. "Okay. Thanks, Ben."

He seemed a little quieter, a little more needy when we made love, pressing close and stealing breathless kisses from my lips, shivering against me. I tried to reassure him with affection, with kisses and soft, murmured endearments, but as I held him to me afterwards, as we drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd made any difference at all.

~~~

We got into work the next day just as Frank was leaving to bank the deposit from the day before. "Julie's going to be a bit late, can you guys help keep an eye on the desk for half an hour? Cherry's already working inside. Your ten am isn't here yet, Ben."

"Sure, I replied, heading inside. I recognized the girl waiting in the reception area as one of Larry's, so I took a seat behind the desk while he disappeared into the back to set up. First thing in the morning was normally fairly slow, so I occupied myself by pulling up the booking software and looking through my upcoming appointments. It was a relief to see my heavy schedule lessening - Daniel had only been filling in my overtime slots two weeks at a time, and obviously had held off on booking anything extra when the announcement was made about the benefit selling out. I appreciated it; the hours were wearing on me. The day of the benefit I was even going to be able to leave a few hours early.

I gave Larry a smile as he came out to claim his client, closing out of the booking software. Then the phone rang.

"Desert Rose, Ben speaking."

The voice on the other end of the phone sounded confused. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking for Larry Bryne?"

"He works here. He's just with a client right now. Can I take a message?"

"Sure, I'd appreciate it. This is Erin calling from Inkmazing in San Francisco. He'd left a message a couple of days ago asking about doing a guest spot for a month in November or December. We don't have a full month open, but we'd love to have him if he's interested in doing the first two weeks of December?"

Her words made my blood run cold. San Francisco? "I'll let him know," I managed to reply, feeling a bit numb. "I'll tell him to call you. Thank you." It took me several minutes after I'd hung up to realize I hadn't even gotten her number.

Guest spots in other cities were common enough. I'd done a number of them before I'd gotten too busy at the Rose to escape my regular clientele. That wasn't what worried me.

Larry was trying to leave for San Francisco, and he hadn't breathed a word of it to me.

I couldn't think about anything else for the rest of the day.

~~~

 

**Daniel Carson**

By the time we got across the border and into Canada it was late in the afternoon. The road was filled with cars and trucks packed with camping equipment, and I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement as we got closer. It had been a while since I'd managed to get out and camp at a festival, since the last time May and I had gone out to Burning Man, and memories of what an amazing time it had been started to come back to me.

There was what looked like a huge line of cars on the road ahead of us, lined up on the shoulder. John had taken the wheel for the last leg of the journey, and he pulled off to talk to one of the orange-vested staff. "Excuse me. I'm with one of the artists. Is there somewhere special I need to go?"

"As long as you have artists tickets, go ahead and turn in here. You'll have to show them to that guy over there. Keep your windows rolled up and keep your speed around 5 kilometers per hour to keep the dust down. When you get to the main security checkpoint show them your artist tickets and they'll direct you from there."

"Thanks," John replied, smiling. "Happy Shambhala."

We turned off onto a dirt road which seemed to last forever. I glanced over at John. "Is this the back way in?"

"This is the only way in," John said cheerfully. "I don't know why they haven't paved it. I mean, I understand the whole leave no trace thing but you'd think the dust we kick up would do more damage. Ah well, we're almost there."

The trees parted to a huge field filled with vehicles lined up in rows. Some of them had people on top of them; others sat in camping chairs alongside them in the shade, and they all seemed to be drinking. John showed our tickets to the second staff person, who directed us to a thankfully much smaller line of about ten cars.

May and Anna both leaned towards May's window, looking out at the field full of cars. "Is that really the lineup to get in?"

"Yup," John answered, still cheerfull. "And for security. It's part of the fun. The last time I went we waited in line for about ten hours and just got drunk as fuck and partied with everyone else in the lineup."

"It does sound kind of fun," I admitted. Spotting a volunteer making their way towards us from the car in front of us in line, I turned to John. "Oh - we need our tickets again."

"Not yet," John said, still grinning as he shut off the engine and jumped out of the car, making his way to the girl; a tall blond leggy number in a tie-dyed tank-top and tiny jean shorts and a huge, feather-bedecked hat. One cheek had a sparkly pink heart painted on it. "Are you a Shambassador?"

"I sure am," she replied, opening her arms to him automatically for a big hug, which John stepped into without hesitation.

"Perfect! I have three virgins in my car!"

I opened the door. "Excuse me?"

"First timers. Shamble-virgins. Come here."

The girl gave me a wide smile. "I'm Nicky, welcome home. Can I give you a hug?"

Home? I found myself returning her smile, feeling my sense of excitement heighten as I hugged her back. The girls had followed me out of the car, and I watched them come in for big hugs as well, listened to the woman welcome them home as well. "You're going to have an amazing time," she told us. "There's nowhere else in the world like Shambhala."

"I'm starting to understand that," I replied, looking around and letting myself feel the energy and excitement all around me.

John had jumped back into the SUV to drive it forward two spots in line, but ran back to us, handing the girl one of his cards with some writing on it. "Thank you for everything you do, Nicky. I don't know when your shifts are, but if you're not working for either of my sets, bring a friend or three and this'll let you into the VIP area. Ask for Leon if there's any trouble."

She glanced down to scan the card, smile growing wider. "Wow. This is - thank you. Thank you very much. I'll definitely be there."

"Happy Shambhala," John told her, pressing a kiss to her cheek before returning to the car.

We received our festival wristbands and VIP lanyards, then a volunteer on a very organic looking moped lead us slowly down a winding road through camp to the artist camping area. I'd been worried it would be difficult to find Leon, but John gave a little triumphant noise almost immediately. A large RV that was parked to the side of a roped-off camping spot had a banner hanging over the grill with a cat nose and a huge grin printed on it. The sun shades inside the windshield had two big green cat eyes on them, and two large black cat ears were taped over the windows on the segment of the RV that extended over the cab.

Anna leaned forward between the seats. "You made Leon agree to drive a cat bus to Shambhala?"

"It was normal when he drove it!" John protested, grinning. "I told him he didn't have to make it awesome until it got here!"

Leon himself was stretched out on a sunbed in one of the few spots in the camp that had full sunlight on it, wearing nothing but sunglasses and a pair of small swim trunks. The rest of the spot was covered by sun shades and a tarp he'd strung up from the trees. John backed the truck up underneath the tarp, the back facing a large domed camping tent.

"Now you decide to get a tan?" he asked Leon as he got out. "This place looks great, by the way."

"This kind of heat I can stand," Leon said, making a face at him. "I'm glad it meets your approval, your royal highness. You want to see the RV?"

It wasn't huge, but it was functional. Two slide-out sections extended the bedroom into a pretty liveable space complete with storage for our luggage, and the main area, which had a very comfortable couch and small dining area during the day, transformed into a second bed at night. The overhead held a third bed, and I couldn't help being happy to note that both it and the master bedroom had real sliding doors to section themselves off from the rest of the RV.

"I took the overhead bed," Leon told us. "It's a bit narrow so I didn't think you'd mind. I assume John's pulling rank and calling the bedroom. The rest of you can fight over whatever. And there's the tent, though I figured we could use it for storage.

Anna regarded the space, chewing on a thumbnail. "I think we might just set up camp in the back of the SUV. All the seats fold down into the floor, there's more than enough room to inflate our air mattress. It's a bit more private, too. We'll use the tent for storage and changing. If it gets really cold we'll come in here."

John glanced over to me with a soft smile. "Would you like to share the bedroom with me?"

The thought still made my pulse race, but I tried to play it cool. "Sure. I'd like that."

"Good." Leon was all business, back out of the RV again. "Let's get unpacked and set up and dressed for tonight. There's an Australian guy spinning at the Living Room at seven who I'd really want to see."

May gave him a curious glance. "Why Leon... are you secretly a circuit queen?"

"Fuck no," Leon said, perhaps a little too quickly. "No drugs and sex at festivals. I just like to get half naked and dance the night away sometimes."

May nodded. "I'm impressed."

He smirked. "I didn't get into this industry just for the joy of dealing with John, you know."

"But it's why you stayed," John shot back without blinking an eye. "That and my huge cock."

"You keep telling yourself that," Leon replied, opening the truck and starting to unload.

It didn't take long to get everyone's luggage and supplies sorted out and moved into the tent or RV. We blew up the girl's air mattress, but John insisted on helping them figure out how to pull out the sofa bed in the RV anyway. "It can get really cold at night here," he told them. "And it's really hot during the day, it'll be much cooler in here. I'm planning on sleeping until at least two in the afternoon. You'll probably be okay with the car under the shade from the tarp and the trees, but just in case."

"I really have no desire to hear you fucking," Anna told him matter-of-factly, and I glanced away, my face burning. John, however, handled it as easily as he did everything else.

"You're only saying that 'cause you know can't keep quiet in bed," he retorted. "You've had sex so good _I've_ needed a cigarette afterward."

"Asshole," she said, punching his arm, but was smiling when she walked by me to go change.

Dressing up in an Alice in Wonderland theme for our first night had been John's idea. "Aren't you worried you'll be recognized?" I asked, but he shook his head.

"Not on our first night out, and especially if we're not flashing our VIP badges around. After our first set at the pagoda maybe. Might have to cover up my tattoos then."

We'd put in orders for May and Anna's outfits from a designer of custom rave wear months ago, as soon as we determined they'd be our primary dancers at the village. The coordinates were all Alice in Wonderland themed - little skirts and tutus and spanks and bikinis styled in blue and white like Alice for May, and a Queen of Hearts motif in black and white and red for Anna. Tonight they'd changed into dresses that were almost exactly the same style - almost indecently short, super frilly skirts and ruffly panties underneath, halter tops with plunging necklines and waist cinchers. Opera-length fingerless gloves and thigh-high stockings with garters finished the look, and furry legwarmers.

"You look super sexy," I told May as I started into the RV to change, and she grinned.

"It's kind of cool to have a rich benefactor," she said, chuckling. "I'm more excited that Anna's doing it with me. Especially the frilly panties. God, I'm going to ravish the hell out of that girl tonight."

I chuckled, well used to these kind of conversations with May. It was good to see her so happy. "If I see the SUV rocking I'll look the other way."

John had stripped down in the bedroom without bothering to close the door, pulling a pair of black rave pants up over black boxer briefs, and I tried not to look at his cock through the thin cotton fabric. The back of the pants had a fluffy black flap hanging down that looked like a half skirt clipped onto the belt loops, and a long, thick cat tail made of thick black fake fur with stripes in a mix of purple and green. A matching fur hood sat on the bed. He turned and smiled as I came in, shutting the door behind me. "Like my tail?" He asked, giving his ass a little wiggle.

I tried to think of a response he couldn't construe as dirty. "It's.... yes. It's really cool."

"Fat and long?" John grinned, then stopped, looking towards the open back window. I could hear some kind of commotion outside, a large amount of cheering that seemed to be coming closer very quickly. John had unlatched the door and was hanging out of the RV before I could question it, throwing back his head and howling until the sound had passed us. "Fuck yeah, Shambhala!"

The cheer had left me feeling strangely elated. "What on earth was that?"

"Shambhawaves," John replied, grinning as he stepped back in and closed the door behind him. "Like the wave at sports games, but cheering instead of the whole arm waving thing. It's ten thousand people in the same place all completely stoked to be here. It's a hell of a thing. We should come up on Thursday morning next year, someone sets them off pretty much every half hour." He stepped towards me, lifting one hand to cup my face as he pressed a warm kiss to my mouth. "I can't wait to do Shambhala with you. I'll leave you alone to change."

"All right," I agreed, only because I had a feeling that if he stayed it would be quite some time before we got to the festival.

I'd let John talk me into being the White Rabbit, though I'd drawn the line at a fluffy bunny tail. I found it flattering, in all honesty, especially when he'd introduced me to Wonderland as his White Rabbit during our test run. I'd bought a short, open vest made of short pile fun fur that was similar to the vests I usually wore to raves, and I pulled it on now along over slim fitting gray plaid clam diggers, belting my brown leather rave belt with all its pouches around my waist. The white fur rabbit ear headband would have made me feel silly ordinarily, but compared to the kind of things I normally saw at raves it was practically common place.

John was in the middle of having Anna draw black cat whiskers on his cheeks, and he looked me over appreciatively as I came out of the RV. He'd put on his hood and done up the button at the throat so the hood hung down his back, the long black fur scarves hanging free on his chest. His almost completed full sleeve tattoos were vibrant and gorgeous, and it was hard for me to imagine how anyone could possibly be any sexier. He gave me a warm smile as Anna finished, pulling me into a kiss as his hand stroked over the line of bare skin between the bottom of my vest and my pants. "Aren't you going to be cold?"

"The vest is fur, I'm sure I'll be fine," I said, stroking my hands up his chest. "You're the half naked one. You'll freeze."

"I have one of those detached sleeve shrug things in one of my pockets," He replied. "Brought a couple of them, figured they'd be good for covering tattoos if needed. And my butt flap is a sweater."

"You guys ready to go?" Leon had a overly tall purple velvet hat with the prerequisite trimmings for the Mad Hatter. I was a little envious of the rich purple frock coat he had on, nothing underneath but pants and a frilly white scarf tied into a cravat. "This is hot, I want to get naked."

"No, no, wait!" John bounded back into the RV, returning a few minutes later to press something into my hand. "This is for you, if you want to wear it. It lights up!"

I felt a thrill as I stared down at the brass pocket watch on my palm. The chain was made up of what looked like small interconnected LED lights, and I could see where LED wiring would light up around the edge when it was turned on. I moved to pin it to my vest. "Oh my god. That's so cool, John. Thank you. You didn't have to...."

"I wanted to," he replied with a smile, locking the door to the RV and tucking the keys into one of his pants pockets. "Everyone have everything we need? We probably won't be coming back until we're done for the night. You have the other keys to the RV, right Leon? And one of you girls have the car keys?"

"We hid them in the tent," Anna told him, already starting towards the festival gates, following Leon.

The VIP area we were camped in had a gated entrance directly onto the beach and the Living Room Stage, and according to John it was the best place to be for easy access to all of the festival. We had an hour before the act Leon wanted to catch, so John insisted on taking us up and out to the main gate into the festival. We were surrounded by the same kind of festival-goers in brightly coloured or barely there clothing I was used to, but the feeling of the venue was different. The forest was so much bigger than I'd anticipated, the massive pine trees towering over our heads, and instead of the orderly, well-defined layout of festivals like of EDC, there were people everywhere, laughing and playing in the main clearing of the festival and traveling winding paths between stages.

"How on earth do you find your way around here at night?" I asked, looking around. I could just see the Pagoda stage from where we stood, but from the map in the festival booklet three of the stages were completely buried in the forest behind it.

John slipped his hand into mine and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry. Give it a day and you'll know this place like the back of your hand. Except there's always new things to find. Let's get something to eat from the food stalls and then we'll go dancing."

John was completely correct. It was hard not to feel a sense of wonder at the whole festival when everywhere I turned there was some new element to discover. The Living Room Stage was set on the beach, half the people dancing on the stand still in swimwear, and despite the fact that the sun had already disappeared behind the mountains there were still some people hanging out on the beach and on floating rafts in the water. The stage itself played to all directions, and as we ate John took us to the other side of the stage, where we discovered a labyrinth of winding paths through the forest, of platforms built against the base of trees for people to lounge on, of giant tubes of brightly lit printed fabric that spiraled up into the trees. "They're mushrooms," John said when I remarked on them, pointing up into the canopy to the red tops high above us. Further on were little canopied cabanas with couches on them and hammocks hung up among the trees.

May took it all in, her eyes wide, and a little smile playing at the corners of her lips. "This can't be here all year."

John shook his head. "Not the individual elements, no. They bring in the couches and everything. But the stages are permanent. Shambhala is Shambhala."

Leon's Australian DJ didn't play the kind of music I generally chose to listen to, but he ended up being a really good time. He played a variety of high energy party bangers, working us all into a frenzy of elation, though I wasn't quite sure how I felt about the remix of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song. I was used to partying with May, and the other friends we had in Vegas, and I was happy to find that it was easy to fit in with John and Anna and Leon. I'd never had a chance to see John on the other side of the DJ booth before, and I loved it, watching him move and dance to the music and realizing he loved it just as much as I did.

John turned on the LEDs in his hood and tail as it got darker, the green and purple fur stripes shining surprisingly bright in the darkness. "I'm envious of this," I told him as we made our way out of the Living Room and towards another stage, looping my arm through his and stroking a hand over the brightly lit fur scarf that hung down over his chest.

"You should have told me," he replied, leaning over to kiss my hair around the rabbit ears. "I would have bought one for you."

"I'm not really into the whole spirit hood thing. I find them too hot."

"It's perfect for here," John replied. For a moment the path we were on faded into complete darkness apart from the glow of LEDs on the clothes of people around us. Then it opened up to a stage built into the forest itself, screens shaped like flowers hung high in the branches, colourful visualizations being projected onto them. May and Anna found an empty platform to dance on right away, but I was just happy to be with John, enjoying the music.

For hours we travelled between stages, dancing when the music was good, moving on when the act ended or when we weren't feeling it anymore. John had tucked a couple of hip flasks full of vanilla vodka in two of the many pockets of his pants that always seemed to come out and get passed around when I needed a drink. I felt amazing - happy and just a tiny bit tipsy, yet elated from the music. John filled the night with excited narration, talking about how this or that feature had been added to the stage and things he'd seen in previous years. He was especially excited about the waterfall that had been built into the set of The Village stage, falling from the walkway that ringed the dance floor into a fake pool below, though seeing the stage itself was enough to fill me with a nervous sense of elation for his set on Sunday.

John wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we waited for the girls to finish up in the restrooms, making a little noise of dismay and rubbing my arm. "You're freezing."

"It's getting a bit cold," I admitted. "I'll be fine once we get back into the crowd."

Moments later I found his furry sweater draped around my shoulders, and he pressed a kiss to my jaw. "Here, snuggle up in this."

I tried to press it back into his hands. "I can't take your sweater - "

"I'm fine," he said, smiling and pressing a kiss to my nose. "The hood's really warm, I don't even need to put on my sleeves. Anyway, I'm from New York, I'm already half acclimatized."

I hesitated, then slipped my arms into the sleeves. "Are you sure?"

"Of course." John pressed close, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling my hair, his body warm against mine. "I want you to have the most amazing time of your life here."

"I already am," I replied, smiling as I looked up at him, then leaning in to give him a slow, warm kiss.

Despite there being hours of music left to still see before the dawn, part of me didn't want to do anything but this for the rest of the night.

John had stayed by my side wherever we'd gone throughout the night, but now it seemed like we were hardly separated, John's hands in mine, pulling me close or pressing against my back as we danced, hands warm on my hips. It was too easy to steal soft, lingering kisses in the mix of darkness and bright lights, easy to forget that there was anyone else around but him and I.

We stayed at the Village through the end of ill.Gates, an artist who really made use of the stage's incredible PK Sound system, the music hard and deep and bassy. I loved it. John pulled out the schedule as the DJ was thanking the crowd, turning to us. "There's a local guy named Rusty Meeks playing after this, I'd really like to stay for his set. I've heard good things. What do you think?"

Leon's eyebrows knit together. "John, I love you but I need to go dance to something more upbeat. I can't handle any more bass. Why don't we go back to the Fractal Forest for a while? What do you girls think?"

May gave a little shake of her head. "The Librarian's playing at the Rock Pit in half an hour, Anna and I want to go see her. It's kind of a lesbian thing. Maybe we should split up and meet somewhere afterwards at four-thirty?"

"Are we really going to be staying out longer than four-thirty?" Anna pointed out. "There's no-one after the Librarian I'm really dying to see and I don't want to completely kill myself on our first night out. I think I might just go to bed."

"Good point." John pulled the bunch of our VIP lanyards out of a zippered pocket in his pants near his knee. "Here, you'll need these to get through the VIP gate to camp. Have fun and don't take the brown acid."

Anna had stepped in to give him a hug. "The what?"

"Woodstock joke, baby sister." He kissed her cheek. "See you tomorrow. Happy Shambhala!"

The crowd in the Village, which had been been so packed for ill.Gates that it had been a little hard to dance, had thinned down just enough to let John and I slip through farther into the venue. We ended up finding a clear spot to dance right in front of the sound booth, by a tall lighted pillar covered by tribal designs on it that made me think of Cherry and her bio-mechanical tattoo work as it the lights cycled through all the colours of the rainbow.

After a couple of songs the guy next to us in a white captain's hat offered John something that definitely wasn't a cigarette, motioning towards the new DJ on stage. "This guy's my best friend, man, he plays bass in my band! First year spinning Shambhala! Isn't he great!"

"That's awesome!" John took a drag before passing it to me. "Why aren't you on stage dancing?"

Captain Hat shrugged. "There's five in my wolf pack, PK Sound - the guys that run the stage - couldn't give him that many passes." When I tried to pass him the joint back he motioned it towards a curvy girl with some very nice half sleeve tattoos who was wearing lit up devil horns, and she gave me a friendly smile as she took it from me.

The joint made another round of the group before coming back to us. John frowned for a moment after passing it to me again, then pulled our two VIP lanyards out of his pants pocket, putting one around his neck and handing the other to me. He leaned close to Captain Hat. "Come with me, I think I can get you in. All of you."

The guy looked down at John's lanyard, looking almost animatedly stunned. "Really? That would be so dope!" He took a moment to spread the word to his friends as John half-climbed the side of the sound booth to talk to the techs. In moments we were winding our way through the crowd towards the side of the stage, finding a small gate guarded by a security guard. The music was too loud for me to hear their conversation, but I saw the guard say something into his radio. Before the song was finished another volunteer had joined us from backstage, handing John a handful of lanyards.

He turned to hand them back to Captain Hat. "Here, what's your name, man?"

The guy still looked completely floored. "Paris."

"Sweet, I'm John. Happy Shambhala, Paris. Just don't tell anyone or let your friends give them away or I'll get in shit, okay?"

"Yeah man, I promise. Thank you so much." Then he turned back to his friends, holding the lanyards up in victory. "Fuck yeah, Shambhala!"

I found myself laughing, giddy from their happiness, following John backstage and up the stairs to the VIP dance floor, the wolf pack following behind us. They were spotted by a tall blonde girl who'd been dancing next to the DJ, who pushed through the crowd to meet them excitedly.

Tattooed devil horns girl paused as her friends passed us, glancing up at John. I watched her eye his tattoos before leaning close me. "Hey... is that DJ Chessure?"

John leaned close before I had to answer, giving her a grin. "You'll have to bring your friends to the Pagoda tomorrow and find out, won't you?"

"Yeah!" She hugged me unexpectedly, then John. "Happy Shambhala!"

Laughing, John pulled me close, finding a nook near the back wall of the stage for us to dance in. I was happy to relax into his arms, moving with him to the thrum of the bass, leaning close to talk. "Are you going to give backstage passes to everyone who's nice to us?"

"I don't think I can ask for any more." He grinned and a little shrug. "But I like spreading the love where I can. People doing nice things selflessly for other people is what it's all about. I just made those people's festival. Maybe they'll do the same for someone else."

In that moment, in the middle of everything I adored so much about music and festivals, I felt so much love for him it felt like I could hardly breathe. Instead I pulled him close, wrapping my arms around his neck and tilting my head up for a kiss.

There was something unabashedly sensual about the thrum of the bass, the deep tones and rhythms humming through my body, and dancing with John, radiant and half naked, only intensified it. I hadn't intended to start anything when I'd kissed him, but within a few songs we were kissing more than we were dancing. I couldn't keep my hands off of him, stroking the tantalizing expanse of bare skin and suddenly conflicted as to whether or not I wanted to stay for the end of the set or drag him back to the RV as soon as possible.

John turned to press me back against the wall behind me, sliding his hands into the opening of his sweater and under my vest to stroke my bare skin. His fingers were cold but I didn't care, suddenly unable to think of anything but him and these kisses and wanting more of this as soon as possible.

"This is amazing," I murmured when John moved to nuzzle my hair, cuddling against him and closing my eyes to the pulse of the music and how good it felt to be close to him. "Everything about this place is incredible. It's perfect."

"So happy to be here with you," John replied, breath warm on my skin and voice barely audible over the thrum of the music. His arms tightened around me slightly before he pulled back to brush his lips against mine again. "Always wanted to share Shambhala with someone special to me."

I'd thought I was perfectly happy, but his words sent a rush of joy right down to my toes. I drew back just enough to look up at him, moving my fingers to brush along his jaw and the edge of the furred hood, watching him smile in return, warm and adoring.

I couldn't imagine that this wasn't real, that everything he said, every sweet thing he did towards me wasn't real when it felt this good to be with him. I leaned up to nuzzle his cheek, pressing a kiss to his neck under his ear. "I'd like to go back to camp with you now."

John's arms tightened around me, briefly squeezing me tight. Then he pulled back, eyes dark and gaze appreciative, and slipped a hand into mine to lead me down the stairs and away from the VIP area. "Give me a moment to put on my shrug."

I watched him worriedly as he pulled the thin fabric on over his arms. "Do you want your sweater back?"

"No," came the answer almost before I'd finished asking it.

"But you're - "

"No." John turned to press a soft kiss to my mouth. "I like you in my sweater. It's hot."

I felt myself flush. "Do you at least want to wear my vest, then?"

He considered it for a moment, then gave me a sweet smile. "Sure. I'd like that."

I shrugged out of his sweater long enough to take off my vest before cuddling back into it. John looked kind of cute in my vest, I decided as he pulled it on, tying the furry scarves from his hood around his chest for extra warmth before catching my hand and starting out again.

It didn't take long to weave our way through the crowd, and soon enough we were back on one of the winding forest paths, making our way to what I assumed was the living room stage and the gate to our campground. Once we'd cleared the crowd of the Village John had kept an arm looped around my waist, keeping me close, leaning in as the people around us slowed to press another kiss to my hair. We could see the river through the trees, hints of groups of people still sitting along the shore betrayed by glow sticks, flashlights, and the red cherries of cigarettes. Someone in the distance set off a small firework, the explosion shooting off colourful sparks in the sky, and as the crowd stopped to watch John pulled me close again, claiming my mouth in a searing kiss that made me arch up against him and wish I was somewhere much more private right this instant.

"Camp," I urged, pulling away only to catch his hand and tug him in the direction of home.

Inside the RV was dimly lit from a small night-light, and a little warmer than outside, but not by much. John pulled the door closed quickly after us and flicked on the small thermostat beside it, shivering as he exhaled. "Brrrr. Bed?"

"Please," I replied, already heading back towards the bedroom. I couldn't remember where the light was, but found the bed easily enough when my shins hit the thankfully padded edge. I kicked off my shoes and had just tucked my rabbit ears away on a shelf by feel when John's groping hands found my arm and tugged me towards the bed.

"Can get undressed when we're warm," he murmured, pulling me down onto the mattress and pulling the quilts over us. When his mouth found mine his kisses were almost overwhelming, hot and demanding as his hands stroked into the sweater I wore and over my bare chest and sides. He'd taken off his hood at some point, so it was easy for me to slip my hands inside my vest to stroke his chest, arching closer and yielding to the claim of his kisses.

It was strange but arousing to be making out in the dark, and everything else seemed heightened - the taste of John's kisses, the scent of his skin, the little appreciative noises he made as he pressed closer to me. He pressed me onto my back, one thigh between my legs as he claimed my mouth in a hard kiss, hips pressing to mine, rocking slowly against me.

I was hard in no time at all, achingly so, the rock of his hips against mine an agony of pleasure. I let my head fall back as John kissed down my neck, stroking my fingers through his hair, one hand under my vest to clutch at his skin. His breath was hot on my skin, nipping gently at the crook of my neck, the tease of pain a shudder of arousal that went straight to my cock. "Oh my god, John...."

John rolled his hips against mine, the motion pulling a breathless gasp from my mouth at the exquisite sensation on my aching cock. One hand stroked down my side and over the plaid on my hip, his voice low and thick from desire. "May I take these off?"

"Please," I gasped, shifting to help him, not resisting when his fingers hooked into my boxers as well, tugging them down so I could kick them off.

John's groan was low and appreciative against my mouth, hand stroking hungrily over my hip and thigh as if trying to put his stamp on every inch of my skin. It was amazing and maddening at the same time, and I tried to arch closer, fumbling for the closure of his pants in the dark. "Fuck, John, please...."

"Anything you want," he murmured, leaning in to kiss me again as he helped me pull off his pants and boxers, pressing closer to me, skin bare against mine. His hand stroked between us to curl around my erection, a surprised, almost wanton moan escaping his lips as he did. "Holy shit, you have an amazing cock."

I laughed softly, a little self-conscious, but was quickly distracted as he started to stroke me, thumb smoothing over the head of my cock as he did. "Oh god..."

John's mouth was hot on my skin as he kissed along my jaw open-mouthed, grinding against my hip as he stroked me. "Oh god, please let me suck you off, want you to come in my mouth...."

The thought was almost mindlessly arousing, but not what I wanted. "I want you to make love to me," I said, and it was true; I felt like I'd wanted it forever; felt like I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it all day. John leaned in to kiss my lips again with a low moan, gasping as my fingers curled around his cock.

"Oh yes," he breathed, sucking at my bottom lip, hips canting up into my touch. "Anything you want, love, fuck..."

His touch was maddening, but I needed more. "I have supplies in my bag, but I don't know where the light is...."

"I'll get it." But instead of pulling away, John slid down the length of my body, kissing hungrily, hurriedly over my stomach before drawing his tongue up the length of my cock. His moan was just as throaty and wanton as his lips closed around the head of my cock, vibrating through my erection as he slid down the length of my shaft. It was almost too much - the wet heat of his mouth surrounding me, sucking me as he groaned around me, one hand moving to cup and massage my balls.

"John, please - oh god - stop, please - "

He pressed a light kiss to the head of my cock as he pulled back, then another to my abdomen, nuzzling up my chest. "Mmm, sorry... just wanted a little taste...."

I caught his face in my hands, finding his lips with my own for a breathless kiss. I felt dazed and helpless and hungry and desperate all at once, needing to lose myself completely to him, to feel what I'd longed for for so long. "Just don't want to come before I have your cock inside me...."

"Oh god." John's hips bucked helplessly against my thigh, his kiss hard and trembling, almost stealing my breath. "Stay here."

He pulled away, finding the lamp on the bedside table, which was dim but enough to see. I was more than warm enough now, so I wiggled out of his sweater, watching him as he slipped out of bed to find his luggage where it had been stored on one of the lower shelves at the other end of the RV. He shrugged out of my vest and tucked it away as well before turning back to me, cock jutting proudly from the dark curls between his thighs, beautifully long and hard.

Setting a box of condoms and a bottle of lube on the bedside shelf, he drew back the blanket as he settled into bed, eyes narrowing as he looked over me hungrily. "Fuck, you're so gorgeous."

I felt more than a little self-conscious under his gaze, appreciative as it was. "Just for you," I murmured, reaching for him, moaning softly, happily as he pressed close to lay against me again.

"Can't tell you how long I've wanted this," he murmured as his fingers smoothed between the cheeks of my ass and over my hole, slick with lube. I whimpered, trying to arch up into his touch, returning his kisses breathlessly. I had, too, far longer than I should have, and it was hard to be patient as his fingers pressed inside me, stretching me open with slow, practiced thrusts, just teasing against my sweet spot. It left me feeling mindlessly aroused, almost unable to speak, unable to think about anything but wanting more of him now.

My hands clenched in his hair as I rocked back onto his fingers, gasping against his lips at the resultant pulse of sensation. "Want you inside me. Want you to claim me, oh god, John - !"

"Fuck..." he fumbled with the condom in his hurry, letting me help him roll it down the length of his shaft. Then he was between my thighs, catching my mouth in a hard kiss as he pushed my knees up almost to his chest, the head of his cock pressing against me, slowly stretching me open.

I knew how exultant my cry sounded, but I didn't care. It felt so good, so perfect after waiting, wanting for so long. I shifted just a little, pulling my knees higher and pressing my heels to the small of his back, arching up against him as he rocked deeper. Each time he brushed up against my prostate it caused a stronger pulse of sensation to shudder through me, the pleasure of it eclipsing the ache of penetration that my body was quickly adjusted to. "God, John - !"

"My Daniel." His voice was husky as he claimed my mouth again, his kisses breathless and trembling, almost worshipful as we rocked together slowly. He sounded nearly overwhelmed, pressing closer to me, gasping against my mouth. "Feel so good, love, so perfect.... Oh my god..."

"So good," I echoed, crying out as a slightly harder thrust of his hips hit up against my sweet spot, "God, more - ! Please fuck me - !"

John's hips bucked harder into me, seemingly almost involuntarily at my words, but he kept it up, using me harder as he gasped for breath against my mouth. "Fuck... so fucking beautiful, Daniel, I can't even...."

I let my head fall back to the breathless kisses he pressed to my neck, trying to arch up into him, crying out breathlessly as each pulse of pleasure shuddered through me. He was pressed so close to me that I was almost bent in half, but my cock pressed against his abs, rubbing against him as we moved together, hard and slick with precome.

John's lips pressed to the hollow under my ear breathlessly, hips stuttering into me. He slowed, pressing another kiss to my skin at my soft whimper of dismay. "Just give me a moment, love... feels too good, gonna come too fast...." he gave a breathless, almost incredulous laugh, burying himself to the hilt and just rocking against me, grinding his cock up against my sweet spot. He nuzzled along my jaw to claim my mouth in a slow, trembling kiss, breathing hard. It was good, but not enough, and I arched up against him, trying to encourage more.

"Don't stop," I gasped, nipping at his bottom lip. "Wanna feel you come in me. Fuck me, please...."

"God...!" John's hips bucked harder into me as he cried out helplessly, face dropping to my neck, nipping at my skin. His thrusts were hard and fast, the pound of his cock inside me the perfect intensity. I felt myself grow quickly close as his hips stuttered into me, the heat between us growing as he came inside me with a harsh cry.

I arched up against him, trying to keep rocking with him through the shudders of his orgasm, craving more sensation. I whimpered despite myself when he pulled away, but found myself almost immediately incapable of speech as John dropped down to cover my cock with his mouth, swallowing me almost to the hilt. He pressed his fingers inside me, rubbing against my prostate with just the right amount of pressure, and before I could hardly think I was coming down his throat, pleasure bright-hot and completely overwhelming.

I felt John lick up the length of my cock, moaning soft and breathless against my skin. Then he moved to lay half over me, nuzzling my jaw. I turned my face into his wordlessly, catching his mouth for a slow, sweet kiss and smiling at the little happy moan that escaped John's throat.

"You're amazing," he murmured, kissing me softly again. "So perfect. That was so good, love, I can't even...."

"Felt amazing," I breathed in response, feeling warm and relaxed and sleepy in his arms. "Wanted you so bad...."

"Me too." John kissed me again, sweet and tender, then pulled away long enough to take care of the condom and curl up around me. I felt him tug my glasses off, leaning over me to put them carefully on the shelf on my side of the bed. I let my head rest on his shoulder, nestling my face into his neck and feeling him press a kiss to my hair, his voice low and warm. "Happy Shambhala, love."

"Happy Shambhala," I echoed, feeling like nothing in the world could be better than this as I drifted off to sleep in his arms.

~~~

 

I woke up the next morning with John curled against my back, fingers stroking slow circles on my chest. I was already half hard, and I arched back into him, body responding to the need for sex without much conscious thought. I felt John's sigh of pleasure against my skin, one arm tightening around my waist as he rocked slowly against my ass. His lips pressed to the back of my neck, trailing slow, warm kisses along my skin and across to my earlobe, nuzzling the shell of my ear and lightly sucking along the edge. It was the perfect way to wake up, the memories of what had happened last night coming back to me with a surge of happiness. We were together. This was real.

John smoothed a hand down my stomach to wrap around my cock, stroking me slowly with a soft, appreciative moan. "'mazing cock...."

I laughed breathlessly, caught up in how good it felt to have him stroking me, working me quickly to full hardness. I tried to grind back more against him, shifting so his cock pressed between the cheeks of my ass, rubbing against my hole as he rocked against me. "Mmmm... god, John...."

"Can't keep my hands off of you," he breathed, stroking me a little more firmly, fingertips teasing against the sensitive underside of my head. It was maddeningly good, so much so that I couldn't think about anything else but wanting sex as soon as possible.

I reached back to stroke a hand over his hip and pull him closer. "Oh fuck, why aren't you inside me?"

John gave a surprised, breathless laugh, pressing a kiss to my neck before pulling away to grab supplies from where they'd been left last night. "Well, when you put it that way...."

I turned just a little, reaching up to tug him down to kiss me, warm and yearning. Soon enough he was rocking into me again, my body accepting him easily as he pressed deeper in slow thrusts, nuzzling my neck. "God... so worth the wait...."

"Mmm-hmmm," I hummed in agreement, letting my eyes fall closed to the easy build of pleasure. It seemed the perfect start to the day, to wake up with him inside me, filling me so perfectly as we sought pleasure together, his fingers slowly stroking up and down the length of my shaft as we fucked.

"Feels so good to be with you," John murmured, rocking up into me just a little harder, angling his thrusts to brush against my sweet spot. "Loved having you come down my throat... gorgeous thick cock...." He gave another harder thrust, pulling a whimper of pleasure from my throat at the shudder of sensation it sent through me. "Know why Lar loves your brother so much now...."

I laughed again, fingers tightening on his hip, groaning as his hips rolled up into me just right. "Oh god, do that again...."

"So responsive," John breathed, repeating the motion with a soft groan himself. He nipped at my earlobe again, breath hot on my skin. "You ever switch hit?"

It wasn't something I cared for very often, but John asking about it made the idea much more erotic than I'd ever considered. I bit my lip on a moan, rocking back a little harder against him. "You asking me if I'll... fuck you sometime?"

The buck of John's hips answered me before his words did. "Oh god, yes. Really want... really wanna feel this gorgeous cock...." He shifted a little to lean over me more, urging one thigh up to brace myself against the bed as he started to move hader in me, working my cock in time. "Oh fuck, Daniel - !"

The onslaught of sensation was overwhelming, and in that position all I could do was take it, trying to brace myself on the bed against his thrusts. John's fingers were slick on my erection, each thrust of his hard cock sending a rush of sensation through me. More than just pleasure, I felt intoxicated by the joy of it, by just being with him, feeling more love than I could ever remember feeling before.

"My Daniel...." John groaned against my neck, bucking up hard into me, and in moments the combination of pleasure and sensation and joy and love had brought me to an intense orgasm, ecstasy hot and bright as I spent myself in John's fingers. "God, yes - " I heard him gasp, hips stuttering into me, and in moments he'd joined me as well, my own pleasure drawn out in almost too-intense shivers of sensation as he rocked with me through his climax.

For a long moment he made no move to pull away, holding me tight against his chest as he nuzzled my hair, breathing hard. It felt good, being so close and connected to him, still filled by his softening cock.

"Don't ever want to let you go," John murmured, as if reading my thoughts, pressing his face to the crook of my neck and breathing deep. "You sure you can't run the visualizations from the stage tonight?"

The thought was tempting, but there was too much risk. I stroked slowly over his hip and thigh, enjoying the feeling of his bare skin under my fingers. "I wish I could. But we'll be together again afterwards. We can go dancing, come back here, make love again...."

John's purr was appreciative and slightly naughty, and if I hadn't just come it definitely would have turned me on. "Can we come back here before my set so I can blow you?"

I chuckled softly, very much liking the idea. "If I can blow you too."

"Deal." John pressed another kiss to my neck, and for a long moment I just cuddled close to him, half dozing in the blissed out relaxation of post orgasm.

He shifted slightly before finally pulling away from me, and I tried not to sigh at the feeling of emptiness it brought. He leaned over me a little more to kiss the corner of my mouth. "Stay here," he murmured, climbing out of bed and returning a few moments later with a damp cloth, which he stroked over my stomach to clean up the remnants of our passion.

John reached out to run his fingers through my hair affectionately. "I'm going to take a quick shower and then go bring back breakfast in bed. Stay here and sleep more, okay?"

"Mmmhmmm," I murmured, already halfway there, and it didn't take long for me to fall back asleep completely.

Eventually I woke to an empty RV, and the clock read slightly after noon. I availed myself of the shower, and between it and the sex I felt amazingly revitalized. I cleaned the smudges off my glasses and tucked them in my bag, finding my prescription sunglasses instead, and then pulled on a pair of knee-length army green khakis and a long, multi-strand hemp necklace with coins and polished quartz tied into it that May had bought me for my birthday last year. Slipping on sandals and grabbing my sunscreen, I headed outside, wanting to soak up the heat and enjoy the festival atmosphere while I waited for John to return.

May was just stepping out of the tent behind a car in a tiny red polka-dot bikini I hadn't seen before and a pair of movie star sunglasses. She smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze. "Good night last night, hm?"

I felt my face heat up. "Were we that loud?"

"No," she replied, giggling. "We didn't notice, anyway. Leon maybe. We went straight to the car bed when we got back, I'm not sure if any of you were back here yet or not.." She looked around at the trees, still smiling a little, holding an arm out to Anna as she came out of the tent in a black bikini and a fluttery silk sarong tied around her waist. "We should come again next year."

"I'd be up for that," Anna agreed, then looked past us, lowering her sunglasses. "Oh god, what on earth has he gotten up to....?"

John was carrying a box of something that looked amazingly like food, and was wearing nothing but black capris and a strangely familiar white captain's hat on his head. He was followed by a bunch of people who I quickly recognized from last night, including the DJ and his blond girlfriend. "Hey, Daniel! I found these guys!"

The crew waved and gave various greetings as Captain Hat followed John to us. "The backstage passes you gave us last night were awesome, man. We're going to spend the day smoking weed on the beach. Thought we'd invite you as thanks." He glanced to John and gave a bit of a chortle. "And to get some street cred."

"You did what?" Leon only looked half awake as he stumbled out of the trailer in a pair of swim trunks. He glared accusingly at John. "Who the hell are these people and why did you give them VIP passes?"

John shrugged and grinned, taking one of the wrapped crepes out of the box he was still holding and shoving it into Leon's hand. "Friends. Here, eat this. It's an eggs benny crepe, it's the best thing ever. Then come with us to the beach. We're going to get stoned, then set up the Pagoda, and then throw the best party you've ever been to."

Leon opened his mouth to protest, looking incredibly conflicted, but didn't resist as John grabbed the hand holding his crepe and pushed it into his mouth. "Eat."

"Fine," Leon said after swallowing a mouthful of crepe. "But for the record, I'm only agreeing because it's Shambhala. And because this is fucking delicious."

"Sweet." John threw his head back, filling his lungs with air. "Happy Shambhala!" he yelled, letting out a cheer that Captain Hat's crew joined in to immediately, and as I let myself cheer with them, I could hear the wave of joy and sound spread out around us and throughout the whole festival.

~~~~

 

**Ben Carson**

 

I hadn't brought up the phone call after work on Friday, part of me hoping that if I just ignored it then it would somehow magically go away. But I could tell Larry knew something was up, and I kept catching little worried glances from him as he worked throughout Saturday.

He finally brought it up on the way home, which I'd been dreading; I just wanted to go home, eat, have sex and go to bed, and not even necessarily in that order. "Something's been bothering you."

I stared ahead of me in the darkness, silent for a long moment as I considered my words. When he slipped his hand into mine I held it tightly. "When were you going to tell me you've planning on leaving Vegas?"

Larry was silent for a long moment. "What makes you think I'm leaving?"

"Took a call at the desk from some place in San Fran saying you'd asked them about doing a guest spot," I replied, looking over at him. "Is it true?"

He gave a soft sigh, letting go of my hand as I climbed the steps to my house and dug in my pockets for my keys. "I don't know, Ben. I started planning when we thought we were going to lose the Rose. I thought it was a sign."

I opened the door and stepped inside, turning back to him. "But we aren't going to lose the Rose."

He stared down at the floor. "I... I think I should still go. I don't really have many ties here, and there's so many places I haven't seen...."

When I spoke my words came out more desperate than I'd intended. "But - but things are over between me and Amy. Why are you leaving?"

"It's not about you," he said, but he obviously couldn't bring himself to look at me. "And I'm not saying I won't come back at some point, I just - I need some time away."

"Please don't go." My voice broke on the last word, and I drew a shuddering breath. "Please, Lar. I don't want you to go. Please...."

"Why? Are you afraid you'll stop feeling for me like you did for Amy?" His words were harsh, and I stepped back, stung, as he continued. "I can't stay when I have no idea what we even are, let alone what you feel, Ben!"

For a long moment, I couldn't answer him. Then I moved closer, silently slipping my hand into his, twining our fingers together. I sighed, suddenly feeling very weary. "You're right," I said finally. "I haven't been fair to you since the very beginning. And I don't have any idea what we are either, but I can tell you what I want and what I feel." I turned into him, still holding his hand, and when he didn't look up I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his instead, needing to be closer to him. "I'm scared to death of you leaving, I'll admit it, because for the first time in my life the thought of being separated from someone hurts, Lar. Because I can't imagine waking up without you by my side or falling asleep without you in my arms. It's not because I'm afraid of forgetting what I feel for you. I know I don't deserve to ask anything of you after putting you through all of this, but I can't imagine being without you."

Larry let out a soft, shivering sigh. "This is really unfair of you to ask of me, Ben."

It felt like a slap in the face to hear him say that after opening up to him. I had to step away, focusing on breathing deeply, on pushing away my immediate reaction to lash out in anger and hurt. "All right," I managed to say finally. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"I'm not leaving yet," he said softly, reaching out for me, but I stepped back again.

"No, please - I just - let me be for a minute." I turned to pace the length of my living room slowly, running my hands through my hair and letting out a deep breath as I stared at the ceiling. When I looked back at him he looked faintly miserable. “Will you stay long enough to let me do your chest piece?” I asked softly, and Larry sighed again.

“You haven’t even done the design yet.”

“I’ve been working on it,” I said, glancing away. “Just haven’t been able to make it good enough for you. I’ll get it done, we can start the Monday after the Rose benefit. Or sooner if I have a cancellation.” I hesitated, looking back up at him. "If you still want it, of course."

He swallowed visibly, voice thick when he spoke. "Of course I do. If you - if you still want to do it."

"I really do," I replied softly, and despite my own hurt I found myself more upset that I'd somehow hurt him. Part of me just wanted to pull him to me, to take him to bed and forget all of this ever happened. But that's what I always did, and maybe that's why I couldn't think clearly about this. I forced a smile. "I'm going to head to bed and do some work on it now, okay? I'll see you in the morning?"

It had been ages since we'd spent the night apart, and Larry looked visibly shaken at the suggestion. "Ben..."

I gave into the urge to pull him to me, feeling him shudder against me as I pressed my face to his hair. "Shh... Let me have some time alone to work on your design, okay? I'm not pushing you away. I just need some time by myself to clear my head. Is that alright?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured, holding me tighter, and I closed my eyes.

If you were sorry, you wouldn't be leaving, I wanted to say. Instead I pressed a kiss to the corner of his jaw, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "I know," I forced myself to say, giving him a smile before stepping away. "Night."

Alone in my room, I took the failed designs I'd done for him out of the locked drawer in my desk, spreading them across the surface. Then I stared at them, trying to figure out where I was going wrong. They weren't bad designs; each different composition or style of bird I'd tried was solid. But nothing felt right for him.

Maybe it was the design itself. Maybe I should abandon the idea of a phoenix and go back to something less intricate. I started thinking through traditional Japanese tattoo elements in my head, lions and demons and warriors and flowers, discarding each one. And then I stopped.

The phoenix wasn't the problem. It just wasn't enough.

I knew what I needed to do.

When I woke up on Sunday morning I didn't leave my room, showering and then foregoing breakfast to keep working on the design. What I'd added had made it better. It felt right. More complete. I re-drew it three times, until I was finally able to look over it with satisfaction, without being able to see any flaws or imperfections. But I felt like I couldn't show it to Larry quite yet, not without confirmation that this was the right path to take. For that I needed the opinion of a master.

Saito picked up his cell phone after a couple of rings. "Good morning, Ben. It is a pleasure to hear from you on your day off."

"I'm sorry to bother you at home," I told him. "I was hoping - I have a design I'd like to do for an important client that I'd like your opinion on. I was wondering if we could perhaps meet up tomorrow before the shop opens?"

"Would you like to meet today?" Saito's reply surprised me. "Come join me for tea. I will text you my home address."

That surprised me even more. Saito had always been very stalwart in keeping his personal and professional life separate. "Yeah? That would be great. If you're sure?"

"I am always certain when I invite someone into my home," Saito replied, sounding amused more than anything else. "I will see you shortly."

I rolled up the two pages of the design carefully, tucking them into a carrying tube and finally leaving my room. Larry was sitting cross-legged at the coffee table, working on a design, and looked up at me in surprise. "I didn't know you were home."

"Sorry," I replied, feeling my heart twist as I looked at him. Then I crossed the room to drop to one knee beside him, lifting a hand to cup his face gently and leaning in to steal a lingering kiss. "I'm sorry I was angry last night," I said, stroking my fingers through his hair. "You're right, I have no right to be."

"Ben, I really need to talk to you..." he started, but I cut him off with another soft kiss.

"Can we talk this afternoon? I need to go meet Saito, I need to finish this. Then I'm yours for as long as you like."

Larry's eyebrows knit together a little, and he nodded, though his smile wasn't very convincing. "All right."

"I won't be too long," I promised him, stroking my thumb along his jaw before pulling away and leaving.

I wasn't surprised when Saito's address lead me to a very affluent looking area of suburbia, and I parked in the driveway next to a very nice black Lexus. What did surprise me was the man who answered the door when I rang the bell, a caucasian man who looked to be in his forties. He had piercing blue eyes, his sandy blond hair just beginning to gray.

"I - I'm sorry, I must have the wrong - " I stammered, but he smiled warmly.

"You must be Ben. Come in, he's been waiting for you. I'm Dominic Cobb."

I shook the offered hand before stepping into the house, trying to take everything in. The decor was a strange mix between modern American and traditional Japanese; and thrown into the mix were several intricate looking lego sculptures that sat on the living room end tables and bookshelves, impossible looking buildings made of plastic bricks that were somehow beautiful in their strangeness.

"The guest slippers are the gray ones there," Dominic said, pointing to a shoe rack beside the door. "Please make yourself comfortable. I'll get Saito."

I stepped out of my shoes, leaving them neatly beside the others, and slipped into a pair of gray slippers with little black cats embroidered on them. Then I stepped into the living room, sitting down on the couch and looking around, finding the whole experience strangely surreal.

"You work at Papa's shop, don't you?"

I glanced up to find a blonde girl looking at me over the stair rail. She looked in her early teens, and was wearing a deep blue, belted chiffon dress that looked like it had come straight off a Tokyo runway. I stood again, giving her a smile. "I work at the Desert Rose, yes. I'm Ben."

"I'm Phillipa," she replied, hurrying down the rest of the stairs at the unspoken invitation. "Can I see your tattoos? Dad says I can't have any until I'm eighteen and I have to think about the design for at least a year and it has to mean something really special. Do you have them all over like Papa does? I think Dad needs more tattoos."

I pushed up the sleeves of my t-shirt so that she could see all the way up to my shoulders, amused as she reached out to run her fingers over the designs. "I have quite a few tattoos," I admitted. "And they all mean something special. That's important, with tattoos."

She gave a little nod, turning my arm to look at the back. "Do you have any of Papa's tattoos?"

"He did my back," I told her. "The traditional way, with tebori needles."

"You should show her your new piece, Ben."

I glanced up to find Saito in the living room doorway, watching us with an amused smile. I grinned back at him. "I wasn't sure it was appropriate to be shirtless in your living room in front of your... daughter?"

"I will allow it this time," he told us, still looking rather amused. "I believe it's important for people to see tattoos that are truly works of art."

I set the carrying tube down on the coffee table, taking a step back to pull my t-shirt off over my head. I heard Phillipa give a squeal of delight as I did. "So pretty!"

I found myself smiling, glancing down at the design on my chest. "She's still healing," I apologized. "And we still have to do touch-ups. Do you want to see Saito's work?"

"Okay," she replied, and when I turned she reached out to run her fingers over the twinned koi and lotus blossoms on my back. "That's cool. What does the girl on your chest mean?"

"Mean?" I questioned, turning around.

"Yeah. You said they all mean something. I know all about koi fish already. But what does she mean?"

I hesitated, looking down at my chest, the loose curls of red hair caught in the breeze. "She's... someone that I love. Very much."

I watched Phillipa smile wistfully. "That's so romantic."

"I have tea waiting in my studio," Saito said, gently taking control of the conversation. "Shall we speak there?"

I pulled my shirt back over my head, picking up the carry tube from the table. "Yeah. Thanks for seeing me. Nice to meet you, Phillipa."

"Bye!" she replied cheerfully. I followed Saito through the kitchen and into a den that was obviously his studio. A long desk ran along the length of one wall, designs and photos of his work pinned up to a huge bulletin board on the wall behind it. The other wall contained a huge bay window with a low couch in front of it. A coffee table held a Japanese tea set.

"Please have a seat," Saito invited, and I did so, motioning towards the tea.

"Thank you. May I pour for you?"

"You may." Saito watched me do so with a little approving smile. "Thank you for humoring my daughter."

"It's no trouble," I told him, setting a teacup in front of him before picking up my own. "I'm sorry, it caught me a bit off guard. I mean, I guess I always pictured you as having some quiet little Japanese wife at home waiting for you. I don't mean that offensively. He seems great. Your husband, I mean. Partner."

"Dom and I have been married for quite some time," he confirmed, still smiling. "I am very fortunate to have him and his children in my life. Sometimes you realize that there are things which make it worth it to go against societal norms. But I believe you already realize this." He took a sip of his tea, then nodded to the tube. "Shall we take a look at this important design?"

I nodded, moving aside the tea service and opening the tube, taking out the papers and laying them out in front of him, matching them up carefully to form the full design. "It's a chest piece. There's existing work in the blank spot in the upper right corner."

Saito gave a little hum of understanding, leaning forward to regard the design. "I assume this is for Mr. Bryne," he said quietly, glancing up at me.

I nodded, strangely nervous to hear his judgement on the piece. The phoenix would swoop down from his shoulder, feathers and licks of flame travelling up along the existing knotwork and onto his left shoulder. The phoenix's neck was outstretched, beak just shy of touching the snout of a great sea dragon that would coil on his abdomen, tail traveling down to wrap around his thigh.

Saito ran his fingertips alongside the drawing on the paper, a little smile playing about the corners of his lips. "The phoenix who rises from the ashes of his own life, reborn. He embodies passion, but also grace and beauty and kindness and all of the beautiful, softer qualities of life that elevate us to be so much more than what we are. This is a very good choice for him." He moved down to the bottom of the design. "And a dragon of water. Mercurial, like all dragons, with the power to nurture or destroy. But this one brings an offering of balance, the waves with the flame. He represents courage and protection and loyalty and the desire to transcend the ordinary and become extraordinary." His fingers stopped beside the end of the serpent's body, which faded, unfinished. "The tail will wrap around his thigh, yes?"

I nodded, feeling a strange mix of wonder and nervousness. Everything was exactly as he'd said, of course. "There were no words or intentions when I drew it, I just... drew what I felt."

"This is as it should be," he agreed, still contemplating the tail. "This aspect of the design is very possessive, you realize."

"Maybe a bit," I admitted, glancing away.

Saito leaned back into the couch, picking up his teacup again and taking a sip of the tea. "You should Tebori this."

I wrapped my hands around my own teacup, partly just to focus on the heat on my skin. "I thought about it. But I'm not good enough for that."

"The only thing lacking in your skill is your confidence," he replied, amused. "But it is not for just the technique and beauty of Tebori that I mention this. When I was young, when I was an uchi-deshi under my own horishi in Japan, I came to learn that you must be much more than merely an artist to be a truly great horishi. The value of the tebori tattoo is in the time both parties devote to the process and to each other, and you must be willing and able to offer a piece of yourself to the other person in exchange for what they are offering you. There is not a single person who I have tattooed in the traditional fashion who I do not consider a friend, and in some cases much more. When you sat for me, I began to understand that the koi I was inking into your skin was a representation of a great talent in its infancy. That I very much wanted to aid and witness your transformation into a great dragon. Before, when I did work on Dom... well. You can see the result."

I found myself smiling. "I'm happy for you. You're very lucky to have him."

"Luck has little to do with happiness," Saito told me seriously. "It is a decision to be made and a battle to be won. It is the kind of challenge you must face with courage and determination, that you must go after with all your strength and heart, and hold nothing back. Or you will always be only a koi fish. Do you understand, Ben?"

"I think so," I said softly, shivering as the words hit so close to home. "So... the design is all right?"

"This is a beautiful design," he told me, giving a small, approving nod. "Perhaps the most advanced and skillful design I have ever seen you create. But the theme of the phoenix and dragon is a very serious one for you to create for this client. You need to be certain he understands exactly what you are inking into his skin and what it means to you before he agrees to this. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "He knows," I said softly, sipping my tea and letting the heat calm my nerves.

"Are you certain of that?" Saito asked with a little frown.

"Of course he knows," I said, glancing away. "I left my childhood sweetheart for him."

Saito gave a soft hum, but didn't sound convinced. "You came here seeking my judgement and advice, and this is what I will say to you, Ben. Actions do not always speak louder than words. Even if you are certain he knows what is in your heart, do not assume. Speak with courage and love and vulnerability, and keep nothing from him. If you will commit do this, then I approve of this design."

"I understand," I said softly, feeling almost overwhelmed by everything. "Thank you, Saito."

"Then you may begin this design whenever the time is right," he replied, finishing his tea and setting the cup down next to the rest of the service. "Please consider the tebori method, at least for some of it. I think you will be very glad that you did."

"I will," I promised, finishing my tea before rolling the design up and sliding it carefully into the tube again. "Thank you, Saito."

He nodded, standing to show me out, but pausing before the door to his studio. "I very much appreciate your willingness to take care of the Rose," he said, meeting my gaze seriously. "It means a great deal to me that I can leave my legacy to someone who possesses both the skill and passion that She deserves. Thank you."

I glanced down with a little shake of my head, smiling. "It's nothing you need to thank me for. In any case, I'm sure you'll be a legend in LA soon enough."

"Perhaps," he agreed, his smile warm and approving as he opened the door to head out.

We walked through the kitchen, where Dominic stood over a young boy who sat at the kitchen table in front of some kind of floor plan. I gave him a nod. "It was a pleasure to meet you, ani-san."

Dom's eyebrows quirked slightly, and he gave me a good humored smile. "Likewise, Ben. Take care."

"I will let you focus on this design for a time," Saito told me as I slipped out of the slippers and back into my shoes. "But once I am settled in Los Angeles I will contact you to arrange appointments for my work, yes?"

I nodded, taking his hand in a firm shake. "Of course. Thank you."

I thought about Saito's words a lot on the way home, on the argument I'd had with Larry the night before. On what I'd said and what I felt and how I'd acted and how none of them really aligned at all.

Larry was still at the coffee table where I'd left him, though his designs were set aside, and he was leaning back against the couch behind him, expression a little blank as he stared at whatever was playing on the TV. He glanced up as I shut the door, offering me a smile that looked rather weary. "Hey."

"Hey," I replied, moving to join him, perching on the couch behind him. "How's it going?"

He sighed, shifting to perch on the couch as well. "Okay, I guess. The designs are good enough. My heart's just not in it today."

There were a million things I wanted to say, but where the hell did I start? I stared at the carry tube in my hands for a moment before looking back up at him. "Do you want to take a look at your design and tell me what you think?"

Larry gave me a thin lipped smile and a little nod, so I leaned forward, taking the designs out of the tube and arranging them carefully on the coffee table. Then, taking a deep breath, I turned back to look at him. "Is it okay?"

For a moment Larry stared at the design blankly, lips parting slightly, almost disbelieving. Then he leaned forward, eyebrows knitting together. "This...."

"Yeah?" I asked softly, stomach churning from nerves.

"It's... beautiful," he said, shaking his head a little. "Holy shit, Ben."

"You want it?" I pressed, not quite believing it myself. "Really?"

"Of course." Larry's voice was husky, and when he turned back to me his eyes were dangerously bright. "Tell me about it?"

I gave a small nod, still nervous, reaching out to touch the phoenix. "This is you," I said softly. "Your strength and passion and creativity. 

"And the dragon is you."

I wet my lips. "If you want it to be."

Larry let out a slow, trembling breath, staring down at the design. "I... I don't really know what to say about this, Ben. It's gorgeous. It's too much. Thank you."

"Not too much at all," I replied. "I... I'd also like to complete it using tebori, at least for the colour and shading. If that's alright."

His head jerked over to look at me. "What?!"

"Not to try and keep you in town," I said quickly. "We can take as long to finish this as you want to, whenever you happen to be in the area. I'm sorry I tried to guilt you into staying. I just - I need you to know that I love you, Lar. I'm in love with you. And that's not conditional on you being here because my feelings for you aren't going to change no matter where you are. That's what this design means. I really hope you'll consider coming back and making your home with me in Vegas when you're done travelling."

I watched him grow obviously emotional as I spoke, until he finally leaned in to throw his arms around me, trembling madly against me. "Ben - !"

I closed my eyes, pressing my face to his hair and holding him tightly against me. "I love you," I murmured again, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"Say that again," he gasped, and I tightened my arms around him.

"I love you, Lar," I breathed, stroking my fingers up into his hair. "I'll wait for you as long as you need me to."

"I love you," he gasped, holding me tighter. "I don't wanna leave. Oh god, Ben, I'm so sorry!"

"Oh god." His words sent through me a rush of relief and wonder combined, and I felt my heart pound faster. "Are you sure?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," he said, giving a soft, choked laugh. "I don't know what's wrong with me and why I keep thinking I have to run away from everything. I don't know why I was trying to leave when you're everything I've ever wanted but I just wasn't sure about anything and I kept telling myself there was no way you could actually love me - "

"Shh... I drew back to nuzzle his cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his eye, his jaw, his lips. "God, Lar. I love you more than anything. Saito told me I just needed to tell you, that it wasn't enough to just give you the design. That I had to make sure you knew what it meant to me."

Larry let out a shaky breath, turning his face to look down at the design again. "Aren't they... chinese wedding symbols?"

"They've been appropriated for that. But I'm not proposing via tattoo design, Lar. I'll do that properly at some point, with the ring and everything. If you want me to, I mean, if you don't it's okay. This is just about... balance and completion and the fact that you make me so much more than I could ever be by myself...."

He looked a little overwhelmed, nodding slowly before leaning in to kiss me softly, still trembling a little, lifting his fingers to stroke through my hair. "You do complete me," he murmured, letting out a soft sigh. "I'm not afraid of that anymore. I want to be here and I want you to meet my ma and just - just be part of everything that's important to me. And I don't mind if you want to - the ring - I mean, I want you to." He let out a long breath. "I feel like I've loved you forever, Ben."

It was so much more than I'd ever expected to get from him in return for my feelings, and the joy I felt at his words made my throat tight. "And maybe we can get a dog?"

He laughed breathlessly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that." He drew back a little, wetting his lips. "Is it too late if I still want to go in on the shop...?"

I shook my head and gave him a soft smile. "Not at all. I'd really like that."

Larry returned my smile, warm and wide and more easily than I'd seen in ages. Then he leaned forward to claim my mouth in a yearning kiss that grew deeper, fingers sliding up into my hair as he caught my bottom lip between his. "Can we spend the rest of the day in bed?"

"I'd like that even more," I purred, and kissed him again.

~~~


	11. Chapter 11

**Daniel Carson**

The last two days of Shambhala were just as beautiful as the first, and more than fitting of the festival name. We slept late, then spent our afternoons at the beach and exploring areas of the festival, like the Labyrinth stage, which played mostly trance but was surrounded by dozens of tiny art installations to explore and enjoy.

In the vendors area, John found a shop selling clothing with LED wire sewn into it - fedoras and ties and vests and jackets all edged in the colourful glowing wire. Before I knew it I was wearing a white vest and matching fedora to match John's in black pinstripes, my LED shining blue to his green. For the girls he bought short, colourful tutus, the LED wire sewn in zig-zags between the layers.

Leon snorted when John tried to get him into a tie. "I'm a traditionalist. Glowsticks are the only way to go."

"And you prefer being half naked anyway?" Anna asked, and smirked, reminding me very much of her brother but managing to avoid the scathing look John would have gotten.

The addition of my dragon gave the Pagoda stage the 'larger than life' quality I'd been hoping for. It was a bit lonely, at first, standing in the sound booth setting up for John's set when the others were all backstage in VIP. Then John took the stage, and I forgot about everything but the joy of the show. The visualizations for this set were all pre-planned, so all I had to do was make sure they transitioned as John's songs did. This set he'd kept upbeat, electro and progressive house mixed in with just enough drum and bass and dubstep to keep the crowd on their toes. They loved it. I could feel the excitement rolling off the wave of people packed onto the dance floor before me and underneath me, the raised boardwalks and small pagodas on either side of the stage just as packed, people half hanging over the railings to wave glowing signs and inflatable toys.

"The new setup is all your work, isn't it?" one of the sound guys leaned over to ask me. "The dragon and stuff." When I nodded, he smiled. "It's amazing work, man, especially the video mapping. One of the most impressive things we've ever seen here. We're so happy Chessure's donated it to the festival, the organizers are in love. You guys will always be welcome at Shambhala."

His words made me glow with even more pride than the cheers of the crowd. I returned his smile. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Watching the performance, the crowd, was a heady thing. As much as I'd been able to tell that the crowd loved his performance at Wonderland, this was a hundred times more intense, people engaged and energized by the pulse of the music. They broke into cheers as John spoke over the beat. "You're amazing, Shambhala! How do you like my dragon?"

As the crowd cried out their approval I could make out his smile even from the distance we were at. "It's all the work of my White Rabbit back there in the sound booth in the very nice hat - please give it up for Daniel!"

It was completely unexpected, and I felt myself blush as I raised a hand to wave at the crowd. I could hear John announcing that we were donating the dragon to the festival, but all I could think about was the joyous realization that everything I'd wanted, everything I'd worked towards was happening.

Afterwards we went dancing, and the first hints of dawn were touching the mountains to the east when we finally went to bed. As amazing as the night had been, it was even better to be pulled down into John's arms in bed, to lose myself to pleasure and desire and the adoring, passionate way he kissed me.

John disappeared as we were getting ready to go out the next night, returning with a white furred spirit hood with huge rabbit ears trailing down the back. "It lights up!"

It was huge and fluffy and completely over the top, and somehow I loved it immediately. "John, this is too much...."

"Nothing's too much. You need something bright tonight, Sunday is when everyone wears all their glow."

"And the fedoras aren't bright enough?"

"Well, yes, but we wore those last night. Besides, This'll keep you warm and we'll match," he replied, smiling and leaning forward to catch my face in one hand to steal a slow kiss which made me think about very nice things that had nothing to with going out or dancing.

May and Anna were in Alice themed outfits again, though these were rather more revealing than the ones they'd worn out the first night. They both had big furry sweaters to wear when they weren't performing, with hoods that lit up like mine did, assumably also compliments of John. Underneath they wore the frilly skirts and halter tops they'd worn out the first night, though May's skirt was over a pair of bloomers for her to hoop in and Anna had added tights printed with suites of cards. I felt a little thrill of excitement as I saw them take their dance stations, making sure the infrared and the censors were tracking correctly.

The sea of the audience ahead of me was full of light and colour: people were wearing stacks of glow sticks, LED lit hats and hoods and accessories. People were carrying signs on tall staffs ringed in glow sticks, styrofoam wig heads sporting glow stick mohawks, and clear umbrellas decorated with LED wire, twisting silk and LED tentacles hanging off them them to give them the appearance of electronic jellyfish.

It was, quite possibly, the most amazing looking rave I'd ever been to.

I turned on the projectors as John took over the decks, casting the augmented reality video up onto the huge screens we'd set up over the dome of the stage. Even over the music I could hear a hum of excitement come up over the crowd, and suddenly all I cared about was giving back, giving them the best show of the festival. I could hear him introducing us, talking briefly about the system and promising everyone "the best damn trip down the rabbit hole" he'd ever created.

John had created this setlist to take full advantage of the Village's bassy sound system, building the crowd up by playing high energy electro house and lots of distortion before dropping into dirty, grimy dubstep and drum and bass. I'd pre-set a visualization for each song, but still left myself room to play, to override the intensity of the effects as needed. I was becoming familiar with the way John spun, and it was easy to match him, turning up the brightness and intensity of the effects as the music built, then taking them down to something dark and bold when the bass dropped.

About halfway through May and Anna had switched out for a couple of girls Leon had recruited throughout the festival, one who spun Poi and the other with a staff, and it was very satisfying to see that my system still worked perfectly, even for dancers who had never used it before.

"You've been amazing, Shambhala!" I heard John call out to the crowd. "This has been, hands down, the best festival I've ever been to!" I hoped the audience could tell he meant it, that it wasn't just the kind of lip service so many performers often gave. "I'm going to sneak in a track here that's an old classic, hope you'll forgive me some sentimentality. This is for one very special person - you know who you are - and for anyone who's ever fallen in love at this festival. One love, Shambhala!"

For a moment I was completely distracted by what he'd said, warmth rushing through me at his words. Then I scrambled to update the visualizations as he brought in the next song, smiling as I instantly recognized the track as a remix of a Calvin Harris song that had been really popular last year. It was one of my favorites of the year, and I couldn't help but wonder if he knew that somehow, or if this was just a lucky coincidence.

_"I feel so close to you, it's like a force field  
I wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal"_

It was nostalgic and romantic, and I chose the visualizations to match, smiling as I saw May and Anna reclaim their spots in front of my cameras. It was easy to get caught up in the moment, in listening to the crowd sing along to the familiar lyrics, and when I looked towards the stage it seemed like John had his attention turned towards me, his smile warm and fond across the distance.

_"Your love pours down on me, surrounds me like a waterfall_  
And there's no stopping us right now  
I feel so close to you right now,  
right now, right now, right now....." 

The visualizations running smoothly, I let myself just stop and take it all in; the stage, the pulsing lights, the music, the crisp chill of the night air against my bare skin. The incredible energy and love that was almost tangible from the crowd as John urged them to sing louder, and the feeling that this moment couldn't possibly be any more perfect.

When the set finished and the next DJ took over I tried not to feel impatient as I tidied up my equipment, pausing to reach down and accept a few high-fives from audience members who passed the sound booth to call up their thanks. "Everything was so cool! Best party ever!" one girl called, giving me a high-five and then raising her fist for a bump.

Glowing, I finally got my equipment stowed away safely and managed to make my way to the VIP area. John met me at the gate, almost vibrating with happiness, pulling me into his arms and leaning in for a kiss, not seeming to care about who saw. 

Now, for certain, the moment couldn't be any more perfect. 

Leon turned in early, but John and I stayed out with the girls until dawn, dancing the night away before dragging their air mattress down to the beach and cuddling under blankets as we watched the sun rise. Part of me never wanted to sleep, wanted to go back to the Village, wanted to dance until the music ended. But it was hard to keep my eyes open as I cuddled up to John, my head pillowed on his shoulder, warm and comfortable under the blankets. "Let's go to bed," he murmured, and back in the RV I was all too happy to engage in slow, languid love making, feeling perfectly safe and adored as I fell asleep in his arms.

~~~

"Come on, love birds." Leon's voice roused us in the morning. "I need to load up equipment in there and you both have to meet the reporter from DJ Magazine in fifteen minutes."

John gave a very disgruntled groan, pulling the blankets up over his head. "Fuck."

"Out of bed before I come in with a bucket of water!" Leon called again, obviously knowing John far too well. "You have five minutes!"

John groaned again, pressing a kiss to my shoulder before making an effort to wake up. "Mmm. Wanna go first? Shower and go see the reporter while I go get breakfast?"

I didn't particularly want to get out of bed either, but DJ Magazine was nothing to be trifled with. I smiled, leaning in for a soft kiss. "Sure. Thanks, love."

John was still away on his breakfast expedition when I was dressed and ready, I couldn't help but feel nervous as I helped Leon load up our carefully cased equipment. "Is there anything I should know or do or not do for this whole interview thing?"

Leon thought for a moment. "It should be alright, DJ Magazine is pretty reputable, I don't think they're digging for dirt, and our agreement for doing this was that I get to approve the final article before it goes to print. I'm sure I don't have to tell you not to go too into depth about the technicalities behind the visualizations, especially the augmented reality set-up. I wouldn't recommend talking about you and John either, of course. And don't ask questions, just in case they use them to go fishing for information about you two."

"All right," I said, feeling a little more encouraged.

The reporter seemed nice enough, and we sat down at the table inside the RV, an audio recorder between us. She spoke very favorably of the show, asking about the process of getting the dragon put together and our plans for future shows. Slowly I felt myself relaxing, talking to her more easily.

"Chessure seems to have been putting a lot of effort into building this good-guy image lately," she noted as she wrote down something on her iPad. "Any thoughts on that?"

I smiled as I thought about it. "I think he just likes to give back. He's been really good to my brother's tattoo shop in Las Vegas, the one where he's been getting his work done. We're all very grateful."

She nodded, glancing down at her notebook. "So you don't think it's just the continued effort to re-build his image after what happened three years ago?"

Don't ask questions, Leon had said, and so I bit my tongue, though a million questions immediately arose. "Um, no," I half stammered, trying to figure out how to reply. "No, I think he's just... genuinely a nice guy."

She gave me a pitying look; apparently my lack of knowledge was obvious. "So it has nothing to do with the fact that he paid off his last manager when he tried to sue him for sexual harassment?"

Her words made me feel cold all over, and I could feel the seemingly untouchable joy I'd felt the night before seeping away. I felt a strange kind of dread as I thought about the weird sexual harassment clause in my contract. Maybe it wasn't meant to protect me at all, maybe it was meant to protect him by limiting the amount of money I could try and get out of him for that exact scenario. But she was just trying to get a rise out of me, she had to be. "I wouldn't know about that."

"But you are aware of his reputation for - and you'll have to excuse me, this is a quote - 'buying his lovers with fame and then discarding them like a used condom'?"

The thought made me feel faintly ill. Was it true? It well could be. I'd done my best to avoid looking up media rumors and speculation on the internet when I found myself falling in love with John... maybe because I didn't want any of it to secretly be true. But now the floodgates were open, all the insecurities I'd tried so hard to push away came streaming back, and the blanket of John's affection wasn't enough to keep them at bay. Maybe it's really all I was, just another carefully reeled in lover he could get rid of when he tired of me or if I refused to give him what he wanted.

It was completely in contrast to the John I'd come to know, the sweet, generous man who'd doted on me the entire weekend. But what if this was just the beginning of things, how he was when things were going his way? How would he change when he tired of me?

"I don't think this is an appropriate thing for us to be discussing," I told her, trying to keep my voice calm. "If you don't have any more questions about the show then I will assume the interview is over."

The way she smiled at me was strange and unsettling. "No, I think that's all the questions I have right now. Thank you."

"Thank you," I echoed, standing up and shaking her hand, showing her to the door of the RV.

I was going to have a lot to think about.

~~~

 

**Larry Byrne**

It was a quiet Monday at the shop, especially with May and Daniel gone, and even Ben's schedule wasn't quite as packed as it had been since Saito had announced the sale of the shop. For the first time in weeks he seemed completely at ease while he worked, happy and almost serene.

Every so often I'd catch him watching me and smiling, adoration plain in his eyes, and it warmed me to the tips of my toes. Then he'd pass by me on his way to bring in a client, and I'd feel a soft, brief touch on my back, warm and reassuring.

It felt somewhat surreal, but beautifully so. I wasn't going to wake up from this, I knew that for sure.

Ben finished cleaning his station a bit after eight, stretching and giving a soft groan of contentment as something in his body popped back into place. "Mmm. Lar, this your last appointment for the night?"

"Yeah." I glanced up, a little surprised. "Are you done for the day?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm kind of amazed by it, too. Hey, how would you feel about it if I went home to grab your design and make us some sandwiches and then we can start on your line work? I still want to use the gun for it because it stays sharper longer than tebori, so we can do a good chunk today."

I was smiling before he'd even finished speaking, his words bringing back the sense of wonder and joy I'd felt when I'd first seen the design. "That would be grand."

By the time I'd seen my client out and cleaned up my station, Ben had returned and was all set up. He'd copied the phoenix onto transfer paper, and pinned both it and the dragon to the board above his workstation, which made me feel a little proud. He'd just finished his sandwich, and handed me mine before pulling on new gloves. "Okay, mister. Strip down and I'll get this started on you."

I tossed my t-shirt onto the top of my cabinet, feeling a thrill of excitement. "Feels like it's been forever since I've gotten ink."

"Really?" Ben ran a hand over my chest, then gave a nod. "Not worth shaving," he decided, spreading the transfer medium onto my chest and carefully positioning the transfer paper.

I snorted. "Yeah, gingers don't get much chest hair. It's kind of nice. And I haven't had ink since... christ, over a year ago? Since the last appointment for my back piece. I'd already decided to hop the ocean, so I figured I'd better start saving."

He gave a little hum of understanding, peeling away the transfer paper and eying my chest critically. He wiped at a bit near my shoulder, grabbing a purple sharpie to re-draw in a couple of things, then nodded. "Come see what you think."

I followed him to the shop mirror, smiling as the design came into view. Somehow he'd managed to make it fit perfectly against my existing ink, the peacock styled feathers of the phoenix's tail winding up to the top of my shoulder and butting up against the edge of my sleeve, an older piece I still loved, a stone celtic cross and roses. "That's perfect. Christ, Ben, it's going to look so bloody good."

"Good," he replied, watching me with soft pride. "Up on my table, then. And eat your sandwich. I don't want you passing out before I'm done with you."

I snickered - I couldn't help myself. "Yes sir."

"Perv," he said, and chuckled, swatting my ass before I got onto the tattoo bed.

"You like it," I shot back, taking a bite of the sandwich, which turned out to be some delicious concoction of bacon and avocado and swiss cheese. "Oh my god."

"Glad you approve," he noted, and went to work.

Getting ink done was always a bit of a hedonistic experience for me. Even in the beginning, when some people were too overwhelmed to finish, I'd taken to the experience easily, and the artist had said I sat extremely well for a guy popping my cherry. It wasn't that it didn't hurt, but it was a good kind of ache, a pain I associated with the excitement and the beauty of seeing a design slowly coming alive on my skin.

When the shop cleared out and shut down Ben became more casual, letting his arm rest across my waist as the ink started up towards my shoulder. "Thanks, this is always one of the hardest angles to do. You sit really well, by the way."

"I kind of like it," I admitted, endorphins already humming through my veins, adding a strange touch of euphoria to the situation. "Endorphins are a hell of a thing. You can move closer if it's more comfortable for you."

"Thanks, but I don't think I could get any closer without straddling you," he replied. Then he paused, raising his head to look up at my smirk and returning it with a slow smile.

Moments later he had kicked his stool away, pushing the tattoo bed almost flush up against his cabinet and lowering it. Then he moved to climb up onto it, straddling my lap and going back to work.

I gave a soft, appreciative hum, stroking my hands up his thighs to rest lightly on his hips and hearing Ben give a low growl. "Hey. No distracting the artist."

"I'm not doing anything." I tried to sound innocent, though in truth I loved the weight of him over me and felt more than a little aroused just from it. "You comfortable?"

"I'm really good, actually," he replied, still focused on his work. "This is a lot easier."

"Just don't start straddling all your clients."

"Only you." Ben smiled, lifting the gun from my skin long enough to lean forward and press a smiling kiss to my mouth.

I gave a soft, appreciative hum, trying to keep my hands still on his hips as he worked. It was difficult, though. It was more distracting to have him on top of me than I expected, and by the time he got up to the tail feathers I was very hard indeed, hands stroking and kneading at his hips as I tried not to move under him otherwise.

"This is getting really difficult," he murmured, somewhat breathless himself, shifting forward to reach higher on my shoulder, his cock pressing against mine where it tented the front of my jeans. I gave a soft groan, rocking up against him before I could stop myself.

Ben drew a sharp breath, rocking back against me, then resting one hand on my right shoulder firmly. "Stay still for me. I'm almost done. Then we can go home and fuck like rabbits."

I chuckled breathlessly, rocking up against him one more time before forcing myself to be still. "Okay. I'll be good."

"You'd better, or you might wind up getting some horrible Tasmanian Devil on your shoulder."

I laughed. "A tribal Tasmanian Devil?"

"Oh god." Ben sounded genuinely horrified at the thought. "As a tramp stamp. Fucking a deformed Marilyn Monroe."

"Ew. That's nightmare material. Tell me we kick those types out of here? I had to do one Tasmanian Devil at my first shop and I felt like I needed to wash myself in bleach afterwards."

Ben chuckled, the needle moving up over my shoulder. "We've thankfully never had that happen, but we should definitely have a no Tasmanian Devil rule."

"We should print up some rules to stick to the desk just for shits and giggles," I agreed. "No Tasmanian Devils and definitely no Michael Moran."

Ben's gaze warm and fond as he focused on my shoulder. "I'm really glad you decided to go in on the shop with us. Didn't feel right without you."

"Yeah," I agreed softly, watching him. "Ben... are you sure about all this? Us, the shop...."

He nodded, looking up at me seriously. "I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't, Lar. I love you. And I don't fall in love easily, believe me. Are you worried about something?"

I shook my head, giving him a soft smile as his words reassured me. "No. It seems a bit too good to be true, but I think it's just because I've finally got the life I've always wanted."

Ben returned my smile, setting the tattoo gun aside and leaning in to kiss me warmly. I was sure it was just meant to be a brief reassurance, but it felt too good, and I couldn't help but return it, groaning into his mouth as I claimed his lips again and again. Before I could stop myself I'd smoothed my hands to cup his ass and pull him closer, arching up against him and gasping against his mouth at the exquisite sensation on my cock.

"Oh god," Ben groaned, grinding against me a little more demandingly, nipping at my bottom lip. Then he pushed himself away, breathing hard as he looked down at me. "I'm almost done. Five minutes. Can we wait that long?"

"Five minutes," I repeated, letting out a long breath and nodding. "For the sake of your beautiful art." 

Ben gave a low chuckle, going back to work. It was so hard not to want him, watching him work, the way his lips pursed slightly and the attentive set of his brow. "God, you're sexy."

"I'm not the one that's half naked," he murmured, finishing another line of a feather.

"Yeah, but you are the one with an amazing thick cock pressed against me."

I watched Ben bite his lip. "Goddammit, Larry."

"Maybe straddling me wasn't such a good idea?"

"Worst idea ever," he replied, but flashed me a grin.

Though it seemed like forever, it didn't actually take him very long to finish up, wiping the excess ink off my chest carefully before bandaging me up. I didn't make the task easy on him, rocking up against him slowly as my hands caressed his ass, and when he finally stuck the last piece of tape in place and took his gloves off I wasn't surprised to find myself shoved back against the bed with his tongue in my mouth, his hips bucking against mine, hard and demanding. "Fuck, you make me so goddamn hard..."

"Me too," I gasped, grinding up against him and wishing very much that we were both at home in bed, naked. "Why is home so bloody far away?"

Ben nipped at my bottom lip and gave a soft, frustrated whine. "Fuck, I really... oh, fuck it." Reaching between us he fumbled at my belt, a favor I was all too happy to return, wrapping my fingers around the thick shaft of his cock and groaning as he did the same to mine.

"So good," I gasped against his mouth, rocking up into his touch a little, almost maddeningly desperate for sensation. "Jesus Christ, Ben - "

"This now, sex at home," he breathed, and nipped lightly at my bottom lip, his fingers slick from my arousal as he worked my cock. "Let me know when you're close."

"Won't take long," I warned, too keyed up from already being hard for so long, nerves ultra sensitive from the endorphins that being inked produced. As much as I didn't want to leave him behind, the passion of his kisses and the feel of his fingers around my swollen cock was too good, pulling me quickly close. "Oh god, Ben, fuck - stop, I - "

He gave a pleased hum against my mouth, making no effort to stop. Instead he slid back, dropping down to cover my cock with his mouth, lips sliding down my shaft as he groaned around me, sucking hungrily. It was too much, and in moments I was bucking up into his slick heat mouth, cursing breathlessly as he pulled me over the edge. It was amazingly, overwhelmingly good, and he didn't pull back as I came in his mouth, swallowing around me and not letting up until he was certain he'd milked every last drop of my seed from my cock.

"Bloody hell," I gasped, running my fingers through his hair as I tried to catch my breath. "God, you're amazing."

"Have to keep things tidy," he said, smirking as he sat back on his heels and wrapped his fingers around his cock.

I wet my lips as my eyes followed the movement of his hand, feeling a soft pulse of desire despite being completely spent. "Lean back against the edge of my table and let me return the favor, then?"

"I won't argue with that," he murmured, climbing off my lap and doing as I asked. I didn't bother refastening my pants, sliding to my knees in front of him without hesitation, wrapping my hand around the base of his cock as I took him in my mouth.

I could tell Ben was just as keyed up as I was, fingers sliding restlessly through my hair as I sucked him, arching up into my mouth helplessly. I groaned around him, fingers clenching at his hips and tugging him forward to encourage him to fuck my mouth, managing to swallow around his girth as he rocked deep into my throat.

"Lar - oh god, your mouth - so fucking gorgeous - gonna come so hard - !"

I gave an encouraging hum around him, tugging down his jeans enough for me to cup his balls gently, and in moments he was coming down my throat, each spurt hot and thick, and I swallowed it down eagerly.

Pulling back finally, I let myself rest on my heels, grinning up at him as I straightened his clothes. "We going to end up doing this every time you do work on me?"

"We should probably try and wait until we get home," Ben replied, chuckling and running his fingers through my hair affectionately. "But maybe I should bring the car next time we do this...."

I grinned. "And I can give you road head?"

"You're completely shameless," Ben told me, grinning as he tugged me to my feet and leaned in to kiss me. "I love it. Let's go home."

~~~

 

**Ben Carson**

I heated up some leftover alfredo pasta from the fridge when Larry and I got home, knowing that carbs would do him good after our session together, and we ate while half curled together on the couch. I tugged him close to lean against my shoulder, one arm around him, careful of the bandaged tattoo. When I finished dinner I set aside my bowl, nuzzling his hair and trying to make order of all the thoughts floating around in my head. "I've been wondering something," I said slowly, then stopped, still not quite sure how to word it.

Larry twisted to look up at me, setting his empty pasta bowl aside. "Yeah?"

It still took me a long moment to reply, trying to read him. "You... like it both ways, right?"

Larry smirked, leaning in to kiss me. "I like it any way you want, handsome."

I chuckled softly against his mouth, but I still felt a nervous, and when I spoke again all my words came out in a rush. "I'm asking if you want to top me."

Larry bit his lip on a low, helpless moan, obviously very much liking the suggestion. Then he pulled back to look at me. "I'm more than happy to do whatever you're comfortable doing. Do you want me to?"

I glanced down for a moment, wetting my lips a little nervously, and when I spoke my voice was low and thick and throaty. "Yeah."

He leaned in to nuzzle my jaw, stroking a hand over chest, warm and comfortingly. "You don't sound so certain."

"I am." I turned my face into him more, nuzzling his ear. "Just haven't gone quite that far before. But I... god, when I was over your lap working on you with you fucking molesting my ass...." I drew back, just the thought of it almost unbearably arousing. "I want you to fuck me."

Wordlessly Larry reached up to cup my cheek, leaning in to express his approval in a warm, yearning kiss. "How about this," he murmured, dotting soft kisses to my lips. "Let's go to bed and get naked and make out and I can molest your ass some more and if you decide you're still ready you can ride me, all right?"

"Okay," I said softly, returning his kiss and letting him tug him up to my feet. But instead of moving towards my bedroom Larry turned for the guest room. "In there?"

"No, your room. Just have to grab something." I must have looked as confused as I felt, because Larry grinned. "Your brand are too big for me."

"My..." suddenly it clicked in. I tried not to smile. "Oh. Um. Sorry?"

"Never apologize for that," he replied, smirking as he disappeared into the guest room to retrieve a box of condoms. He slipping an arm around my waist, pulling him into the bedroom. "Come on darling. Don't worry. You're not the first man I've deflowered."

"I think that's reassuring," I managed to mumble in reply. Then Larry drew my shirt off over my head, claiming my lips in longer, more yearning kisses, and I felt myself relax at the familiarity of it, stroking my hands over his waist and returning those kisses. Once we were in bed it was easier for me to just let go and lose myself to passion, to the feel of his hands on my bare skin as we rocked together, his cock pressed against mine, quickly growing hard.

Secretly, feeling Larry's hands on my ass had always been one of my biggest turn-ons, and it was no different now as his hands smoothed down to cup my ass and pull me closer. I loved the feeling of strength and demanding, the idea of need, and part of myself had wondered for a very long time how it would be to let go of my last inhibition with him.

"So fucking hot," Larry murmured, and I tilted my head back to his kisses, giving a soft moan at the feel of his mouth on my neck, nipping at my shoulder as his fingers curled around my cock. He always managed to make me feel so desperate for him. Sex with Larry always had the same kind of intensity I'd felt the first time I'd dared to bring a guy home, except better, more intimate, and in reflection I probably should have figured out the whole gay thing a really long time ago.

I watched Larry kiss down my chest, tongue flicking against a nipple before kissing down my abs. "Love your cock," he breathed, running his tongue up the underside before his lips parted over my head.

"Oh, fuck... I resisted the urge to thrust up into his mouth, running my fingers through his hair. "God, you look good like that."

Larry chuckled, low and thrumming around my cock, blue eyes looking up at me through his eyelashes. I loved watching him blow me, lush lips stretched around my cock, pink from the passion of our kisses. Definitely hotter than any porn star. One hand moved to cup and massage my balls as he slowly moved his mouth on me, fingers finally moving to stroke over my asshole gently, testing. The touch on sensitive nerve endings made me shiver, pressing into the sensation. "Not gonna break, Lar... come on...."

"You're so impatient," he said after drawing back, leaning over to grab the lube from the bedside table flashing me a grin before taking me in his mouth again. A moment later I felt his fingers return, slick, one easing up inside me.

This I'd done before and loved, the feeling of being penetrated, stretched open and fingered. I loved the almost aching intensity of having my prostate stimulated, which he did with unerring accuracy. Before I knew it I was breathless and near incoherent under him, trying not to thrust up into his mouth as he fucked me slowly with two fingers. "Fuck, Lar - feels so good - more - !"

"You really do like anal play," he murmured, mouthing at my balls, sounding very pleased. "Should have told me earlier. Wouldn't have held back on fingering you if I'd known."

I chuckled breathlessly, gasping as he worked a third finger up inside me. "Oh fuck...."

"Too much?" Larry licked up my shaft to suck at the head of my cock again, working his tongue against me just so, and for a moment the sensation was so intense that I couldn't respond. "Ben?"

"Don't stop," I gasped, trying to rock back onto his fingers, trying to force myself to relax. Larry suddenly swallowing me to the hilt helped a lot, and soon all I could think about was wanting more. "Enough. Fuck, stop - "

As soon as he drew back I had him pinned to the bed with hungry, demanding kisses, taking his cock in hand and feeling him shudder very satisfyingly against me, bucking up into my touch. "Jesus Christ, Ben - !"

"Wanna ride you," I hissed, nipping at his bottom lip. "Come on, Lar...."

Larry whimpered softly against me, shifting to sit up against the headboard, stuffing a pillow behind him. He grabbed the box of condoms and tore one open with his teeth, but I took it from him, squeezing a few drops of lube on the head of his cock before rolling it down his shaft, watching him and smiling at the way his eyes closed briefly in pleasure.

"You sure about this?" he asked again. "Don't just feel obligated...."

I snorted, pulling one of his hands to my cock. "Does this feel like obligation?"

He laughed breathlessly, which faded into a throaty groan as I slicked his cock. Then I wrapped a hand around the base, shifting to rock down onto him slowly, gasping at the ache of penetration as my body stretched around him. Larry stroked his hands over my hips and ass soothingly, grabbing and massaging my ass cheeks, pulling them apart more. "Oh fuck, Ben...."

It felt better than I anticipated, like he couldn't wait to be inside me, and I eased down a bit more, holding onto the headboard to steady myself and just letting myself feel. The slow slide of his cock inside me felt amazing, but it was more difficult to get used to feeling so stretched open.... "Feel so full," I gasped, rocking onto him more, not quite able to catch my breath. "How the hell do you handle me?"

"Lots of practice," Larry murmured, smiling as one hand moved to guide my face to his for slow, warm kisses. A moment later I felt his fingers gently stroke against my ass where I stretched around him, slicking lube over my skin, his voice husky and thick from pleasure. "God, Ben, you feel so good...."

I let myself draw back and sink down farther, whimpering against his mouth at the rush of sensation. His hands moved to massage my ass again, and slowly I felt my body adjust, relaxing enough that when I finally sank down onto him completely I felt only pleasure. "Oh god, yes...."

"Just getting started," he murmured, nipping at my bottom lip. He shifted under me a little, pulling his knees up to brace himself on the bed and rocking up into me in one smooth thrust, the head of his cock hitting up against my sweet spot, leaving me seeing stars.

I realized I'd cried out, already rocking down onto him again without hardly thinking, just craving more intensity. My hands clenched tight at the headboard for leverage, and I let my head fall forward, face pressed to his hair. "Fucking god, Lar - !"

"There we go," he breathed, hands clenching my ass, encouraging me to move as he rocked up into me again. In moments I was grinding back down onto his cock almost desperately, crying out at each shock of sensation that shuddered through me. Larry's mouth was hot on my neck, kissing and nipping at my shoulder, voice low and throaty against my skin, encouraging me. "Feels so bloody good fucking you, Ben, Jesus Christ, so hot and tight... oh god, yes, so good - !"

I shifted to catch his mouth in a hard kiss, nipping at his bottom lip as he rocked up into me again. My erection, which had flagged at the discomfort of penetration, was now definitely back with the program, rubbing hard against his abs as I moved on him.

"God, Ben..." he picked up the pace a little, breathing hard, and slipped a hand between us to curl around my cock. I had to close my eyes against the sensation, everything so overwhelmingly good, crying out as his thumb smoothed over the sensitive head of my cock as he pounded up into me.

Larry was just as breathless as I, pressing gasping kisses along my jaw. "Think you can come like this for me, love?"

At this point, not coming like this was definitely not an option. I gave a short, breathless laugh, rocking down onto him harder. "Fuck yeah. Don't stop. God, Lar - !"

"Christ - !" I felt his mouth press to my shoulder again, nipping at my skin before biting down at the crook of my neck, a lick of intensity that caught my body by surprise. In moments I was coming, breath catching in my throat as the combination of sensations overwhelmed me completely, my orgasm hitting hard like a freight train. I was only half aware of Larry's exultant cry, bucking up into me a few more times as he flooded me with heat, free hand digging into my hip almost hard enough to bruise.

For a long moment it was all I could do not to collapse over him, feeling overwhelmed from stimulation and exhaustion, nerves trembly and spent. Larry nuzzled my hair, breathless as well, a hand stroking soothingly up and down my spine. "God, Ben...."

I managed to turn my face to kiss him, reveling in the closeness, the slow, warm caress of his lips on mine. "I love you," I murmured, and felt him smile against my mouth.

"Love you more than anything," he replied, voice soft and adoring. "Relax here for a bit, love. I'll clean up."

It was nice, just to ease away and let myself be taken care of. Curled together in bed with him, it was hard to imagine wanting life to be any other way. "Felt really good," I murmured, nestling my face against his hair. "Thank you...."

I felt him shift to press a kiss to my collarbone. "Will do that anytime you like, sexy."

I let my thoughts drift, fingers stroking small circles on his back. "How would you feel about New York for Christmas?"

"Hmmm?" Larry raised his head to look at me, a small smile playing about his lips. "New York?"

"My family's there," I explained. "Daniel and I haven't been in a while, but I think the cash flow will be good enough that we could get out there, grab a hotel, fly your mom out..."

"And her girlfriend?" Larry added, smirking.

It didn't surprise me. "Yeah, sure."

He seemed to consider the idea for a time, fingers stroking over my chest. "Think your parents will mind the lost potential for grandchildren?"

I shrugged. "Well, they still have my sister." I leaned in to kiss the little worried line between his eyebrows. "My parents have always been really supportive of Daniel. Don't worry. They'll be happy for us."

"I'd really like that," he said softly, leaning up to kiss me.

For a while I just returned his kisses, lost in the soft warmth of his affection, feeling loved and safe and.. complete. "You know, gay marriage is legal in New York," I murmured against his lips, and Larry gave a soft laugh.

"Maybe next Christmas." Larry drew back to look at me, eyes shining with happiness. "When my tattoo is finished."

It was all I needed, and I kissed him wordlessly in response.

He was all I needed.

~~~


	12. Chapter 12

**John Murdoch**

 

Shambhala had been, quite possibly, the best weekend of my life.

After Shambhala, well....

It had been the fucking reporter that started it. I'd become too complacent when it came to the press, they'd been too nice to me over the past year. So she caught me off my guard; lulling me into a false sense of security by talking about my sets at Shambhala, the work I'd had done at the tattoo shop, the benefit, bringing Daniel to the team, our work together....

"So, is the collaboration a little more than professional?"

For a moment I could only stare at her, disbelieving. "Excuse me?"

She arched an eyebrow. "Did he get the job through the casting couch?"

"We're done now." I barely held down my sudden surge of rage, hitting the stop button on her audio recorder, shoving it and her notebook into her hands. "Out."

"Of course," she replied, her smile disgustingly smug.

Fuming, I marched her to the edge of the campsite. "Good luck getting that printed," I spat, and turned back to camp, where Leon and Daniel were loading gear into the back of the SUV. "I thought you vetted her!"

Leon looked immediately angry as well, glancing over the top of the car to where she was walking away. "No, we get final approval on the article, I thought it would be enough. I'm sorry if she stepped out of bounds."

I let out a long breath, trying to let go of anger. I could deal with the media calling me a slut, but bringing Daniel into it was completely out of bounds...

Daniel. Oh shit.

I tugged him around the side of the SUV to talk, out of sight of prying onlookers, and slipped one arm around his waist. I watched him worriedly. "She didn't ask you anything personal, did she?"

He shook his head slowly. "No... nothing personal."

"Good. If you ever have any issues with the press or anything just let me know, okay? I'll take care of you."

"Okay," he said, voice softer, and I turned into him more, cupping his face gently to raise his gaze to mine. Daniel's eyes were bright with unshed tears, and I gave a soft, little dismayed sound, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

"What's wrong, love?"

"I'm sorry," Daniel said in a very small voice. "I just... I don't want to leave here."

I felt a rush of sympathy, pulling him against me. I'd been incredibly emotional at the end of my first Shambhala, and it hadn't been even as half as amazing as the weekend Daniel and I'd had together. "We'll come again next year, I promise. Together."

"Okay," he murmured, but I still felt him shiver against me.

The girls ended up sleeping until mid-afternoon on the air mattress on the beach, so I felt they were safe to drive the SUV back to Spokane, and volunteered to help Leon drive the RV instead. I took the first shift, then curled up against Daniel in the bed we'd pulled out in place of the sofa, falling deep asleep until we'd arrived at the airport.

If Daniel seemed more quiet than normal on the way home I didn't think too much of it. We were all exhausted from the weekend; we'd partied hard and not slept nearly enough. When we left the airport was when I began to worry.

"I'm going to go home to my own apartment," he told me quietly, not quite meeting my gaze. "I promised Frank I'd open the store tomorrow so he and Leon could have the day off together."

"I can make sure you get in to work on time," I offered, and he gave a soft laugh, shaking his head before leaning up to press a soft kiss to my lips.

"If I'm in your bed I definitely won't sleep," he said, but the attempt at teasing fell flat; he seemed tired. "I'll call you tomorrow when I'm at the Rose, okay?"

"Okay," I replied, knowing not to push the issue. We'd had a whole weekend together, after all. "I'll miss you."

He seemed suddenly close to tears, glancing away, but regained control of himself. "Me too," he said softly, letting me pull him into my arms for a tight hug.

He didn't call.

I'd sent him a couple of text messages throughout the day, just niceties, and became more worried when I didn't receive a response, my heart growing more and more heavy as the day went on. Finally I tried to call him after his shift ended at four, but he didn't pick up.

 _'I'm sorry. I need some time alone to think about where things are going,'_ , his texted reply said, and my heart sank.

I tried to think back over the past few days, over everything I'd said and done. I'd tried to keep things slow like he'd asked, but it had been so difficult when my feelings for him were so intense. Had it been the Calvin Harris song that had been too much? I'd made a marked effort to avoid using the L word, as many times as I'd wanted to, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.

Or had I done something to upset him? Should I have offered to go home with him instead of trying to bring him to my hotel? Maybe I'd been out of sorts. That reporter had certainly thrown me for a....

Oh god.

With a growing feeling of dread, I picked up my cell phone and dialed Leon.

"I never get a day off from you, do I?" he teased when I picked up the phone, but I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Leon, I'm really sorry, I just - it's important. I need you to look into something for me as soon as possible," I said, my stomach twisting itself in knots. "I need you to find out if that fucking reporter asked Daniel anything she shouldn't have, and what it was. And I'd like a copy of the audio recording."

Leon was silent for a moment. "I don't know if they'll be willing to disclose that information," he said warningly, but I shook my head, unseen.

"Do whatever you have to, Leon. Please. Work your magic, for my sake and for Daniel. I need to know what I have to try and fix."

"Fix?"

"Daniel's upset about something. He won't return my calls."

"John," Leon started slowly, hesitating for a moment before continuing. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if something like a two-faced reporter is going to be enough to push him away then... maybe this isn't the kind of relationship you want to invest in."

"No," I shot back immediately. "No, if he's got the wrong idea about me then it's my fault for not giving him the right one. It's my fault from not protecting him from that bitch or not thinking she would have tried the same thing on him as she did on me. Look, if you won't find out for me I'll do it myself, but I can't guarantee I won't call them all motherfucking skeezeball douchebags."

Leon sighed. "Okay. Let me see what I can do."

An hour of anxiety later he returned my call. "It should be in your inbox in the next five minutes. Good luck."

"Thanks," I answered, feeling even more anxious as I accessed my email opening the file. Despite my worry, I couldn't help but smile as I listened to Daniel speak about the show. It made it easy to remember how happy I'd been as we performed, how I'd thought everything was going to be perfect going forward. And maybe there was some truth in what Leon had said, and maybe I did feel a little hurt that Daniel had pushed me away without saying anything, but I couldn't give up on this. Not yet.

When I heard the reporter start to ask about my reputation, and the slimy insinuations she said to him, it made me sick. How was he to know whether or not there was any truth in them? I was proud of him for ending the interview so calmly, but I could hear that he was obviously shaken....

I couldn't blame him for questioning things between us, not after what she'd said.

I just wished he'd talked to me.

For a long moment I stared at my phone, debating the possibilities. Something like this... I couldn't do this over the phone. Would he let me come see him?

There was no answer to my phone call or text... or my next call... or my next.

So I did the only other thing I could think of.

"John? What's up?" My sister's voice was good to hear.

I drew a deep breath.

"Anna, I need to talk to May."

~~~~

 

**Daniel Carson**

I should have stayed with John after we left Shambhala. Once I was alone it was too easy to think, too easy to dwell on the multitude of uncertainties my conversation with that reporter had brought to the forefront of my mind again.

Worse was that I hadn't even known what she was talking about.

Torn, I finally went to the internet, looking for information on John's love life. He went after conquests, not lovers, said articles. That he hadn't had a steady relationship in years, that he lived like a rock star. There was enough of it that rang true. What it all of it was true?

What did it mean for me? Maybe it was better to break this off sooner rather than later, in the interests of professionalism. But would I still have a job if I did that?

Every time I thought about ending things it felt like my heart would break. But I needed to protect myself. Maybe I should just get over things now and move on.

When I heard the key in the lock to the front I didn't bother to check, assuming it was May. Then I heard her speak. "All right, there. And this is the last time I'm helping any of you idiots, so you damn well better make things right."

"Thank you," came the soft reply, a voice I both feared and desired more than anything in the world.

"Good," May said, "Daniel? Is it okay if I leave John here to talk to you?"

"Yes, it's alright," I answered after only a moment's hesitation. Maybe I had missed something about the whole situation. And now that he was here I realized I wanted to hear him out, wanted desperately to know that things were different than they seemed.

It took me a moment to work up the courage to go meet him, and I felt my stomach twist itself in knots as I did. John stopped halfway down the hall, giving me a soft smile. "Hey, love. I'm sorry to bully my way in here, I know you asked for some time alone. I just...." His voice grew softer. "I missed you."

Part of me wanted nothing more than to go to him, lose myself in him, forget that anything was wrong at all. I made myself stand firm. "Did you?"

The little worried line between John's eyebrows deepened. "Of course I did. Daniel... what's wrong?"

I sighed, pushing my glasses up to rub my eyes wearily. "I don't know. Maybe I've been thinking too much. Maybe I don't know what to think anymore."

He stepped closer to me, his voice soft. "Does it have to do with the questions the reporter asked you about my character?"

"Part of it." I glanced away.

"She lied, you know."

"About what? Your past, your lovers?"

John glanced away, giving a slightly frustrated sigh. "Look, Daniel... Yeah, I've fucked a lot of men. I'm a moderately good looking gay man with a few ounces of fame, of course I'm going to use that to my advantage at the bar. But I've never mislead anyone or let them believe that it meant more to me than just sex."

"Even me? What am I to you?" It felt like all my fears were bubbling to the surface. "What happens when you're tired of me? Do you pay me to go away like you did to your first manager?"

John jerked away from me, a strange blankness coming over his expression, fixing his gaze on the carpet instead of on me. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"No? It wasn't hard to dig it up once the reporter told me about it. Everything you didn't tell me."

John glanced to me, then looked away again. "I didn't tell you because I assumed you already knew. It's all over the fucking internet. It's on my fucking wikipedia page."

"Well, I'm sorry I trusted you," I returned, my voice breaking on the words, and John looked back to me sharply.

"And have I done something to betray that trust? I just loved you, Daniel. I do love you. Fuck, you're the first person I...." He stopped, lips pressing together firmly and his eyes bright. "I'm sorry. I just really don't like to talk about what happened with Ayman and Charlie."

The addition of a second name threw me for a loop, and I shook my head. "It's happened twice?"

John gave a soft, mirthless laugh, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over my chest. "No. It hasn't even happened once. Are you really so determined to hate me, or will you at least trust me enough to hear what actually happened?"

He sounded so broken that I couldn't imagine denying him, and angry as I was, I couldn't stop myself from stepping forward and reaching out to take his hand in mine, unfolding it from his chest. "Yes. I'm sorry. I do trust you, and I - god, I don't hate you. Please."

John closed his eyes for a moment, his hand clenching mine so tightly it ached. Then he loosened his grip, swallowing hard. "Ayman was a friend of mine from high school. He was this... smooth talking, handsome thing, came from money. I had a huge crush. He was the first guy I ever let top me." He gave a harsh, bitter laugh, his voice growing rougher as he continued. "Then he transferred into an expensive prep school for senior year and stopped talking to me. It hurt, but whatever, I got over it. I met Charlie, we fell in love. Charlie recorded half the vocal samples I used on my first album. We had all these plans to elope to Canada and then go on tour together, do this act where he'd sing and I'd mix it live. Then Ayman showed up with his sparkly new MBA from Columbia, and he said I needed a manager and it seemed so... so serendipitous...."

He glanced down at our joined hands and gave a soft sigh. "I had this weird... feeling about him. I have feelings about people a lot, and I don't think I've been wrong yet. But Ayman was so fucking charming that I hired him on despite my intuition. And he was good at what he did. The album was a success, my first stadium tour was huge, it all seemed like such a good match. And then he - "

John choked on his words, closing his eyes again as his fingers tightened around mine. His obvious agony doused the remains of my anger like I'd been doused with ice water, and I stepped closer, placing my other hand on the back of his to cradle it between mine. "John...."

"You know I haven't even told Leon this?" John's laugh was hard, forced.

"You don't have to," I said softly, but John gave a hard shake of his head.

"No. No, I do. Because I want this to be more than some fucking fair weather romance. So I can't be afraid to be vulnerable with you." John paused for a moment, drawing a deep breath as if for strength. "Ayman tried to rape me. I wouldn't let him seduce me again so he tried to force me into bed with him and when I fought him off he claimed the opposite and took it to the cops." He choked back another hard laugh that sounded closer to a sob, and the words spilled out in a rush. "There was no evidence to press charges but the media still ran with it and he threatened to slander me to kingdom come unless I paid him a fucking shitload of money. He had a family full of fucking lawyers, I couldn't have won. So I paid the bastard off. I wouldn't have even fucking cared about the goddamn money but Charlie _believed_ him, he took Ayman's side. So the fucking asshole took that from me, too. I've been a slut ever since because I've been afraid of getting close to someone again. And _that's_ why I don't talk about it."

I felt my throat tighten around the lump that had formed in it, suddenly realizing I'd started to clutch his hand almost more tightly than he'd been holding mine. I couldn't speak to reply, couldn't do anything other than pull him close, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pressing my face to his hair.

I could feel John trembling against me as he moved to return my embrace. "You've put me on a pedestal, Daniel, but I'm not perfect. I wish to god I was, for your sake. If finding out that I'm just a regular fucked up guy makes you want to call this off then fine. Just tell me so I can get on with nursing my broken heart again. Stop leading me on!"

"I'm not," I managed to gasp, pressing my lips to his hair and holding him tighter. "I swear it. I'm so sorry, John.

"I love you," he said helplessly. "I'm sorry if that's too much for you, but I do. I don't want some seed of doubt to fester between us and drive us apart, I couldn't stand it again. I can't undo what's happened but I can promise that I'll never do anything to give you cause to doubt me, love."

The intensity of his words stoked an overwhelming mix of emotions in me, joy and agony both. "You... still want to be with me?"

"Of course I do! Daniel... when I met you...." he stopped, exhaling, his breath a warm caress against my neck. When he spoke again he was a bit calmer, voice soft. "I told you, I get these feelings about people. Of course I thought you were gorgeous and fuckable but somehow I knew you were too important to just go after for meaningless sex. As we got to know each other I couldn't shake the feeling that if... if I just opened myself up and let myself really love again... you would be the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. I still feel that way. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same."

His words made me feel as raw as he sounded, but I felt less agony now, and so much more elation. "I do." I felt a shiver run through me as I closed my eyes. "I'm so madly in love with you, John, and it frightens me more than anything."

He gave a soft, helpless moan, pulling back enough to press a kiss to my temple, stroking his fingers through my hair as he let his forehead press to mine. "Don't be frightened. Please don't be frightened of love."

"I just feel like I'm not worth it. I know it sounds dumb to be so insecure, but it's how I feel. You're so amazing and beautiful and talented and I'm just _me_ , and I'm afraid that at some point you're going to realize I'm not all that and leave me."

"Can you trust me enough to believe me when I say you are?" John met my gaze, bringing a hand up to run his thumb along my cheekbone. "Just stay with me. Let me show you a little more every day how much this means to me."

The affection and slight desperation in his eyes reassured me as much as his words, somehow. I moved one hand to cup his cheek, stroking my fingers through his hair. "... you really mean that?"

"With all my heart. Daniel..." He drew a deep breath, expression earnest. "I'm just a boy... standing in front of a boy... asking him...." his voice trailed off, and I saw a sudden hint of a quirk to his lips, and somehow that small touch of his normal sunny disposition was the last reassurance I needed.

I felt a smile tug at my own lips. "Were you about to quote 'Notting Hill' at me?"

John glanced away a little shiftily, obviously fighting a smile now. "... maybe."

"I really hate Julia Roberts." I told him, trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"Really? I'm wounded! What about Hugh Grant? You can't hate that face."

"Hugh Grant's pretty handsome," I admitted, leaning in to kiss him softly and melting against him as his arms smoothed around my waist again. "But not even half as gorgeous as you."

John gave a soft, happy hum against my mouth. "Not half as gorgeous as _you_. I completely agree."

"That's not what I said!"

"That's what I said," John clarified, still smiling, kissing me again. "Daniel... I love you. So much."

The words were still overwhelming, but now they sent a rush of warmth through my whole body. "I love you, too."

John's grin was almost ear splitting now, and he pulled me to him tightly. "So happy for that, love, I can't even.... can I tweet about it?"

I laughed. "Yeah, sure."

"Sweet!" I didn't expect John to actually draw back and pull his phone out of his pocket, texting furiously.

"Are you serious?"

He looked up from his phone, his look determined. "Of course I'm serious. You're the best thing that's happened to me in forever and I'm crazy about you. I'm not going to hide you like some scandalous dirty celebrity secret."

"But...."

John's smile gentled. "Just let me show you what I want to write. You can veto it if you don't like it. Okay?"

"Okay," I sighed, trying to tell myself that anything he wrote couldn't be too bad. A moment later he handed over his phone, text typed in the twitter post field.

_'Achievement unlocked: Used L word! Got it back!!! Daniel, you are my everything. #soinlovewithyou'_

It was completely silly and lovely and beautiful and entirely John. "All right," I said softly, reaching in to press the 'post' button on the phone. Looking up at him, I gave him a small smile. "I'm so sorry I doubted you, John."

He shook his head. "It happens. But don't doubt yourself, okay? You're worth the world to me."

I glanced away, feeling self conscious, only to have John reach out to cup my cheek and draw me into a warm kiss. "Stop that. Just believe me."

I let myself search his gaze for a moment, finding nothing but the love and conviction I'd always seen there. "I'm sorry if I'm bashful. But I do believe you, John." I pressed my lips to his warmly to reinforce it, relaxing into his embrace. "And I'm sorry I didn't come home with you last night."

John gave a soft, happy hum against my mouth. "We're in your home now, that's just as good."

I smiled, stroking my fingers up into his hair, enjoying being close to him. "Well, you're welcome here anytime you get tired of living in the lap of luxury."

"There's only one lap I want to live in," he replied. the tip of his tongue flicking against my lips as he kissed me again, hands smoothing down over my hips to pull me closer.

I drew a soft breath, arching closer to him. "Careful... someone might think you have a one track mind."

His hands slid around to cup my ass. "Isn't make-up sex the logical track for my mind to take?"

I briefly tried to think of some witty reply, but his kisses were far too distracting, and in any case, I wanted it too. I turned a little to lean back against the wall, pulling him against me and arching close as my lips parted to his with a soft, appreciative moan. Somehow it felt like ages since we'd last been intimate, and even though it was barely over a day I wanted him as if it had been years. Maybe it was the need to cement what he'd said, what I felt, to apologize for how I'd failed him, to thank him for giving this another chance in spite of my stupidity. My body, always certain of what I wanted even when my mind didn't, craved intimacy and reacted accordingly, just as my heart had always known I loved him.

"Want you so bad," he murmured, kissing along my jaw as his hands stroked over my hips and ass almost restlessly. I tilted my head back for him, rolling my hips a little harder against his in wordless reply. John gave a soft hiss, nipping at my earlobe. "God, Daniel...."

I pushed a hand between us to cup his cock through his jeans, stroking him teasingly as I started to undo his belt. "Make up sex... alright, then, how would you like me to make up for leaving you all alone last night?"

John gave a low, appreciative moan, nuzzling my neck as his hands slid up under my shirt. "You, naked, as soon as possible."

I smiled, slipping out from between him and the wall and starting for my bedroom, pulling my shirt up over my head as I did. Stopping at the doorway, I glanced back over my shoulder. "Well?"

John's desire was almost palpable as he looked me over slowly, following me with a slow, sensual grace to his movements. Running his fingers down my spine, he hooked his fingers into the my belt loop of my jeans, tugging me closer and stepping around me so he could lean in and claim my mouth in a yearning kiss. "Too much clothes."

"I know," I murmured, tugging his jeans undone and slipping a hand inside. John gave a soft hiss, pressing into my touch, nipping at my bottom lip.

"Undress for me, Daniel. Let me watch you."

I felt my cheeks heat up at the suggestion, pulling away from him. "All right," I said softly, drawing back the covers on my bed and stretching out on it, smoothing a hand down my stomach to cup my cock through my jeans and sighing in pleasure.

I watched John's eyes narrow appreciatively, the tip of his tongue darting out to wet his lips. "You have no idea how gorgeous you are."

I shivered under his gaze, certain in that moment that John honestly felt that way, even if I didn't. I tugged my jeans undone and down, arching up off the bed as I pushed them past my hips and kicked them off, toeing off my socks as well. My cotton boxers stretched around my cock, and I eased them down enough to free it, wrapping my hand around my shaft and stroking slowly.

"God, yes." John's voice grew huskier. "Touch yourself for me. Boxers off."

"I will if you undress for me too," I said softly, arching off the bed to kick my boxers off as well. "Let me see you, John."

He pushed the door to my room shut behind him with a dark, slightly hungry smile, eyes barely leaving me as he pulled his shirt up over his head. I let myself enjoy his bare skin, the dark lines of ink on his arms, his stomach and chest and the throat I'd kissed so many times. It felt deliciously naughty to touch myself as I watched him undress, stroking slowly up and down the length of my shaft, smoothing my thumb over the hint of arousal on the head of my cock and groaning as I rubbed it into my skin.

"Oh god...." John fumbled briefly at the closure on his jeans, watching me hungrily. "You have no idea what that does to me."

I wet my lips. "Watching me jerk myself while you undress?"

"Fuck yes." He pushed his jeans and boxers off, and I couldn't help but admire his cock, standing proud and flushed and hard against his stomach. He stalked towards the bed, stroking a hand up my thigh to curl half over mine my cock, joining my touch with a low, appreciative hum.

I bit my lip on a groan and arched up into his touch, watching him for a moment before sitting up to tug him down to me, feeling desired and sensual and bold. "Come here, you tease."

John didn't resist when I pressed him onto his back, catching each of his wrists in my hands and pulling them up to pin them to the pillows by his head. He laughed, breathless and appreciative, rolling his hips up against mine. "Mmmm... hello, you."

"Hello, handsome," I murmured in reply, licking up his neck to nip at his earlobe. "Mmmm... not every day I have a beautiful, naked celebrity pinned under me. What shall I do to you now that I have you completely at my mercy?"

John arched up more against me, his moan soft and playful, cock pressed hard against mine. "Are you going to tie me up and have your wicked way with me?"

"Perhaps." I drew back to kiss him, returning his hunger and passion, battling him for dominance instead of yielding. I loved the feel of him under me, his cock pressed hard against my abdomen, sliding against mine as I rocked against him. When he was breathless and whimpering, tugging restlessly at my grasp, then I finally broke from his lips, dropping my mouth to his neck to nip at the soft hollow below his ear. "Do you want me to fuck you, John?"

"Oh god - !" John's hips bucked up against mine as he gave a little needy whine, wresting one arm from my control to pull me closer, catching my mouth with desperate kisses. "Oh fuck, Daniel, please, please please please...."

I laughed breathlessly against his mouth, nipping at his bottom lip before pulling away long enough to grab lube from my bedside table. I didn't often dominate my lovers, partly because I generally preferred to play the mare, but more so because most of the men I chose to bed weren't exactly the type to switch. I hadn't expected it from John... but I found I liked it more than I expected.

John pulled one knee up and spread his thighs to give me access without me even needing to urge him to. I let myself fondle his balls for a moment before stroking behind them, stroking my fingertips over his ass and smiling as he shivered. "You're just as much of a little cock slut as I am, aren't you?"

"Just every once and awhile," John breathed in reply, arching up against me with a soft whine as I eased one slick finger into him. "Can you blame me for... mmmm... wanting your gorgeous thick cock inside me?"

I leaned in and kissed him slowly as I worked in a second finger, massaging gently as his body tensed and fluttered around me at the intrusion. "I'm not that big."

"You're thicker than me, darling, and I'm pretty hung." He grinned before biting his lip on a hiss as I brushed up against his sweet spot, almost writhing underneath me. "Mm, god...."

"You're a hell of a thing, love," I murmured, watching him, finding the whole experience far more erotic than I would have anticipated.

"Mmhmm," he agreed, still rocking up against my fingers. When I worked a third finger into him it drew the most delicious whimper from his throat, made him arch a little more, helplessly, underneath me. "Oh god, yes, more...."

The way he half-writhed under me, responsive and passionate and needy, was even more arousing than I'd expected. I nipped at his bottom lip, fucking my fingers into him more firmly, feeling almost maddeningly aroused by his passion.

Then John shifted closer, nuzzling my jaw, voice low. "Do you wanna bareback? I'm clean. I'm... meticulous, actually. If you want to, I mean."

The thought stunned me. I always got checked between partners, of course, but not because I expected.... "I am too, and I do - but - are you sure?"

He drew a sharp gasp as I twisted my fingers inside him, making sure to make him slick and relaxed. "Oh god, yes. I've never... biggest fantasy, you have no idea... and your gorgeous cock...." He gave a breathless cry as I brushed my fingertips up against his sweet spot again, shuddering under me. "God, Daniel, please - !"

I kissed him hard, easing my fingers away from him and spreading ample lube over my own cock. "How do you want it, love?"

John considered it for a moment, then bit his lip coyly, pulling his knees up to his chest slowly, already the picture of debauchery. I exhaled in a soft, appreciative moan, moving over him, resting my weight on one arm beside his head as I curled a hand around the base of my cock to tease his ass with the head. I found myself wanting him so badly that it was difficult to keep control of myself, and when I finally pressed into him, feeling the heat of his body stretch around the head of my cock, it was all I could do to keep from burying myself in his longed-for heat in one hard thrust.

"Oh god... big... fuck...!" John's moan of pleasure was wanton and half incoherent, and he whimpered as I eased away. "Come back..."

I laughed softly, leaning down to claim his lips in a slow, warm kiss as I eased into him again. I felt as much as heard his gasp of pleasure, his body clenching and shuddering around me, hot and tight and perfect. I kept a tight reign on my desire, dotting his lips with soft kisses. "Let me know if it's... too much, okay?"

"Promise," he breathed, one hand grabbing the back of my head without warming to pull me into a hard kiss. His thighs wrapped around my waist, heels pressed to my ass to push me deeper. "Oh fuck yeah - !"

I cried out at the rush of sensation, rocking harder in him, gasping. "Oh god, John..."

"Darling, love - feels so good, so, so big... oh god, fuck me."

I started with a slow, smooth pace, trying to focus on pleasing him, trying to ignore how good it felt to bury my cock, achingly hard, in the slick heat of his body, how he clenched around me each time I pulled back as if unwilling to let me go. It didn't help that he was making these little noises - breathless and wanton and completely _dirty_ , his pleasure obvious, contagious. I tried to focus my thoughts on him instead of how good he felt. "God... you make such a good, slutty little bottom...."

John gave me a breathless grin, legs tightening around me again. "Mmm... say that again."

"Say you're a... slutty little bottom?" I gave a harder thrust, angling to hit up harder against his sweet spot and pulling a satisfying, trembling cry from his lips. Dirty talk I could do. "You want me to tell you... what a little whore you are... how much I've just... wanted to bend you over and fuck you so hard?"

"Ohh, god...!" John's head fell back to my kisses, fingers clenching in my hair almost painfully tight. "So bad - !"

I nipped at his neck, breathing hard, picking up the pace a bit and trying not to think about how gorgeous he was under me, his helpless cries of pleasure as we came together again and again. "You like that... love? Just wanted my huge cock inside you... stretching you open...."

"Love your cock," he gasped in reply, arching up against me as much as he can. "God, Daniel - harder - please - !"

I bit sharply at the crook of his neck in an effort to hold back, which he only seemed to like more. Then I pulled back completely, looking down at him through narrowed eyes as I tried to catch my breath. "Roll over and I'll fuck you into the bed."

John drew a shuddering breath and did so, his ass pert and tight, and I smoothed my hands over it, urging his thighs farther apart as I tried to catch my breath. I stroked his balls gently as I teased his hole with my fingertips, smiling as he whimpered and squirmed under me. "Please...."

I shifted between his thighs, letting the head of my erection barely press against him. "Just admiring how debauched you look already... your tight little ass stretched wide open from my cock...."

John laughed breathlessly, a little incredulous. "You sure you don't do this all the time?"

I leaned over to kiss the back of his neck, pushing into him again in slow thrusts. "Mmmm... all for you, love... oh god, John..."

John's hands clenched at the pillow he was laying half on, each thrust driving a whimpering moan from his lips. "Oh fuck, Daniel... can't even tell you... so big, feels so incredible to have you inside me...."

It was getting more and more difficult to hold off, rocking into him harder and faster, intoxicated by his pleasure and the exquisite sensations. I paused long enough to yank him up to his knees, driving back into him, fingers digging into his hips. "Touch yourself for me."

John gave a slightly incredulous cry, shifting to wrap a hand around his cock and jerking himself hard to meet the pace of my thrusts. "Gonna come too fast - !"

"Good." I leaned over to kiss his back, giving full reign to my passion, using him hard and fast, gasping for breath. "Want to feel you come on my cock.... Then I'll... come inside you, fill your tight little ass right up...."

"Fuck - !" John bucked against me hard, cries throaty and desperate. "Fuck yes, come in me - !"

I felt him shudder around me almost before he'd finished speaking, bucking back onto my cock. I could feel his pleasure ripple through him as he clenched around me, almost impossibly tight, crying out his orgasm. The sensations drew my own pleasure bowstring tight, and I tried to keep my thrusts measured, but I was so close....

"Please," John gasped, rocking against me. "Oh god, love, claim me - "

I heard myself cry out, as much from surprise at the idea as from pleasure as my orgasm hit hard, rushing through me as I spent myself in slick spurts inside him, rocking into him until the pleasure ebbed.

I'd half expected John to collapse bonelessly when I eased away, but he turned and reached up to pull me down against him, catching my mouth with a soft whimper and hard, trembling kisses. I wrapped my arms around him and returned them, making soft, soothing noises on instinct as I stroked my fingers down his spine. "You alright?"

"Yeah." His reply was slightly incredulous, and he shivered against me. "Oh my god, yes. Feeling you come...."

I laughed softly, feeling a little giddy and kissing him again. "It was good for you?"

"So fucking good, Daniel, I can't even...." He punctuated the statement with a rather fucked-out moan. "... but I think I made a mess of your bed...."

"It'll live." I shifted just enough to grab a couple of kleenexes from the box on my bedside table, wiping off his stomach as he took the one from me to clean his fingers. Then I tossed them in the trash, grabbing the bottle of lube from where it was digging into my hip and getting rid of it as well.

"Can we do that again?" John asked, impish as he wiggled closer to me.

"Have me fuck you, or bareback?"

"Both. Either. Unless you don't like it?"

I flushed a little. "It's all really hot. I'd really like to ride you next time with nothing between us...."

John leaned up to kiss me with an appreciative hum. "Can I watch you jerk off on my stomach while you do?"

The idea definitely had merit. I smiled against his mouth, returning his soft kiss. "Something tells me you really like come...."

He chuckled, seeming suddenly self-consciousness. "Yeah, I guess so. I just... I've been so good for so long and it feels so amazingly hot and dirty.... feeling you come in me.... god...."

I nuzzled his jaw, holding him closer. "I'm all too happy to help you explore your dirty fantasies."

"Mmmm..." John's hands slipped down to cup my ass, pulling me closer. "What if I want to spank you as I fuck you?"

I wet my lips, arching closer. "I'd be okay with a bit of spanking."

"Okay." John's voice grew more appreciative. "What if... I wanted you to bend me over a chair and take me from behind with a dildo suction cupped to the wall behind you so you can fuck yourself while you fuck me and I can watch you do it in a mirror beside us?"

Despite being spent, I think my cock twitched at the idea. "... you've put a lot of thought into this."

"I've been thinking about doing you for months, especially after Larry said...." he stopped, and I drew back, confused.

"After Larry said what?"

John grinned, half innocent, half sheepish. "That you were probably about as well hung as your twin."

"Oh my god." I buried my face in his shoulder. "You - he.... Fine. Yes."

"Is that a yes to the mirror?" John sounded so delighted that it was hard to be embarrassed.

"Yes to the mirror and the dildo and the fucking and whatever other kinky things you've thought up."

John's smile widened slowly as he pondered the idea. "What about chocolate body paint?"

"It could be fun."

"A threesome?"

I chuckled. "Maybe when we've been together for a while."

"Okay. A foursome?"

I shrugged. "Not much difference between that and a threesome."

"What about a foursome with your brother and Larry?"

"Oh my god." I couldn't decide if the idea thrilled or appalled me. But he couldn't be serious. I pulled back to place a firm kiss to his mouth. "You pervert!"

"Hey, twins are hot!"

"We hardly even look alike anymore!" I protested, and John chuckled.

"Still twins." He grinned, shifting to press a kiss to the furrow between my eyebrows. "I'm teasing, love. You're so adorable when you're all shocked and embarrassed."

"Careful who you're calling adorable," I said with a mock growl, turning my face up to kiss him and nipping teasingly at his bottom lip. "I did just fuck you into the bed."

"And I loved every moment of it," John replied, smiling widely and returning my kiss. "Never going to let you out of bed."

"Might be hard to make your shows pretty from bed," I pointed out, stroking a hand down to the small of his back.

"Mmm. I suppose you can get out for shows, then. Speaking of, I wonder..." He turned to lay on his back, sticking one leg over the edge of the bed and hunting around with his foot for a moment. With a soft noise of triumph he retrieved his jeans, one toe hooked into a belt loop, and pulled his phone out of the pocket. "I've been retweeted five hundred and thirty eight times!"

The enormity of the situation suddenly struck me. "Oh my god."

"Don't worry about the notoriety," John said, voice a little softer, leaning in to kiss my hair. "I'll take care of you. It'll be you and me against the world."

I couldn't help but smile at his words, cuddling closer. "Leon's going to kill you, though."

"Eh, he'll be fine. I'll buy him and Frank a trip to the Caribbean to celebrate their nuptials. And then you and I can fly to New York, catch some shows, meet my parents and live like kings...."

For a moment my heart stopped. "Your parents?"

"My mother will love you instantly just for getting me to settle down," John replied, then chuckled. "I can't wait to tell her that I found everything I ever wanted because I decided to get a tattoo."

~~ THE END ~~


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